CORE Leadership Etcetera

I'm a product of my failures . . .

I'm pretty sure you are too. Failing, in the moment, is emotional and disappointing. But when you get back up, ▶️ failure can be the most enlightening experience that a university degree could never teach you.

"That wasn't so bad "

"That hurt. I'll never do it that way again."

"Next time, I'll do ..."

"I almost did it. Now, I think I can actually do it."

All of these are statements that validate learning. ▶️ They bring on a growth mindset and open or deepen neuro-pathways that create muscle memory and new awareness.

The next time you fail, try this—▶️ "What can I learn from this experience?"

No matter what, you will learn from it. With a fixed mindset, you won't try again or it will keep you from getting back up. But, ▶️ if you want to be a success in any one thing, you have to use your failures as learning and growth.

The essence of courageous leadership is when leaders challenge conventional wisdom, thwart "this is how we've always done it" mentalities, and speak truth to power.

It's not about being a contrarian.

It's a willingness to say, "No" when there is a consensus of, "Yes."

Practice your dissent by communicating it with data, contrasts, accuracy, logic, and depth. Don't just blow their minds with emotions and feelings. Your ultimate goal is to improve performance.

Are you the one?

Challenge: In 3 sentences or less, define your organizational culture.

Your culture is the set of shared values, attitudes, systems, beliefs, and rules that outline how its members will behave.

Cultures are not personality-based; it's baked in. Meaning, ▶️ your culture shouldn't change because a single person comes or goes. But, of course, a heavy influencer can have an impact on it. And over time, they can shift it.

Cultures can take shape with your critical mass. Meaning, if 15% of your staff of influencers and senior management inculcate a consistent belief or attitude, it will shape the culture.

If you want to shift the culture, ▶️ start with your trainers, support staff, and frontline supervision. Get them to ▶️ embrace the systems, language, and rules. ▶️ Build it into the infrastructure and strategy using jargon and values in the mission and vision.

Recognize the culture of your organization. Observe it. Write it down in 3 sentences. ▶️ Ask an outsider or customer to define it. Sit with your leaders and agree on what you actually want it to be.

You get to decide—but it takes time.

Sometimes, you can just respond with . . .

"Thank you for trusting me with what you shared with me."

We can underestimate how difficult it is to be vulnerable with someone. Your people won't just volunteer to share their stressors, pains, fears, and doubts. You don't have to have the answers; just lean in and connect.

I'd bet 60% of your team is going through something or holding on to something. It will show through their performance. You will have to be emotionally intelligent enough to lean-in, offer some grace, and attend. According to Psychology Today (2023), "emotional baggage can be unconscious, so people don't know they have it" until it shows in their behavior.

attend (v). be present; help; care for.

Don't forget CORE's minimal essential qualities—care, emotional intelligence, and courage.

Big shout out to my newest top fans! 💎 Steve Bennett, Yvette Padilla

Thanks for following!

Have you ever set aside a day to clean the entire house?

But you got into your closet and next thing you know, you have reconfigured it, went on Amazon to buy hangars and shelving solutions. You spent all day reorganizing the closet—and it was beautiful!

You step back just outside the door, hands are on your hips with pride, and you are admiring your work—you did it! The closet is clean. You're satisfied.

Hmmm....not so fast.

What journey are you on? Have you decided on what the finish line would look like? Or, are you OK just stopping anywhere?

What do 'they' say about your organization? Is it one that has courage and faces problems with vigor?

Join us to transform your leadership style with our dynamic course that faces the challenges of leadership with courage. We are going to focus-in on responding decisively, following up effectively, and being present when it matters most, ensuring your team thrives under your proactive guidance.
108th Wing

I was reading Adam Grant's "Think Again" masterpiece again. This is what stuck out today.

We have this attachment to our ideas and opinions. "Allow your opinions to be provisional. Detaching your present from your past and your opinions from your identity."

Once we establish our hypothesis we tend to become one with it and it shapes who we are and, in some cases, doesn't allow us to be wrong about it, so we defend it.

Leadership is about tapping into your own innate and learned skills to connect to the people that you have empowered, trust, and developed to reach the team's goals.

It's not enough to just be a people-person because, ultimately, you were hired to move the organizational needle.

What are the skills that you still need to develop that will increase the effectiveness or profitability of your organization?

We can help you with that at CORE. Let's connect. https://calendly.com/callme_satch/30min

Have you ever been put in a box?

I don't mean this literally. I mean, being put in a psycho-social, cultural, or gender box.

I bet you have. And I bet you have been put in one behind your back and without your consent. And ▶️ sometimes, you get put in a box by people that mean well and by people that know you well—even when you don't want to be in it. And not only that, you tell them that you don't want to be in that box but they don't believe you or they know what's best for you.

The boxes are these self-imposed or established limitations that are typical for your demographic or "type." They are generalizations that restrict your effort or intentions.

Sometimes, you can be told you are too young, too old, not typical for, or maybe, "that's not what 'we' do." So much so, you believe it or restrict yourself. But ▶️ there are achievements out there for you. There are experiences out there for you. There are activities out there that you are missing out on because you put yourself or let them put you in the box—where 'they say' you belong.

I don't know how many experiences that I've discovered because, albeit late, I yielded to or stayed in the box. And when I finally did it, I looked back at the box and the people in it, and said, "I'll never let you do this to me again."

I wanted to lead in a certain way, achieve a certain thing, and take part in certain things, but when I looked back at the box, ▶️ I got back in it because I was conditioned to stay in it.

Let me say this—your dreams, your purpose, your possibilities, and opportunities are never inside the box. You can let people keep you from those possibilities with their judgment or comments about you living or operating outside of it. ▶️ Trust me—it's only the people that are inside of it and those threatened by you being outside of it reminding you of the box.

You can be the person you want to be. You can achieve your wildest imagination. You can take part in activities you never thought you could or should. That's, of course, if you don't yield to the box.

Ready to become a great leader?

Just like going on an adventure - you need to know where you're headed!

➕ A ship needs a compass to find its way across the big ocean, and you need clear goals to guide you.

➕ Without a clear plan, you might feel lost and confused, like a boat drifting around with no direction.

Want to sharpen your leadership skills? Check out st4yreadyconsulting.com!

We'll help you set goals and give you the tools you need to be a successful leader, even when things get tough.

Be the leader who knows what they want!

Lead right and st4y ready.

People have reached out to me about my approach to authentic leadership.

They find it complicated because it exposes them to more personal conversations or encounters than they are comfortable with in a traditional leader-subordinate relationship. ▶️ That's the thing about your authenticity; it's uncomfortable when you are not used to sitting in it.

All of these creep in: unconscious and conscious bias, stereotypes, comparisons, and judgments

But when you choose to lead authentically, you can be open and honest about your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without fear of rejection or judgment. You will notice authentic leaders:

✅ are comfortable in their own skin
✅ are not afraid to say, "No."
✅ don't compare themselves to others
✅ are open to feedback and criticism
✅ are comfortable in silence
✅ admit when they are wrong
✅ are OK with not being liked

That brings me back to the uncomfortability. Exposure 'feels' vulnerable and risky—and it is. Especially when it's inconsistent. ▶️ But when leading with authenticity becomes a natural part of you, they won't confuse what your values, boundaries, and beliefs are. When they confirm that's who you are, with your consistency, those judgments and feelings of being judged go away.

There's no other way of saying this—if you are in a position of leadership and want to be influential, you'll have to possess and represent these essential qualities.

es-sen-tial (adj); /əˈsen(t)SH(ə)l/; absolutely necessary; extremely important.

As a minimum, taught or developed, if you are trying to create a high-performance environment, these qualities must be part of you. ▶️ No, not something you dial up; they are part of your being.

1️⃣ Care. Having an outward mindset and treating people like people rather than machines or metrics on a spreadsheet. But also firmly believing in the day-to-day work, its mission, and goals.

I can't teach you to care, but you can learn to care. It's a human trait and emotional quality that is nurtured. ▶️ When you have a job that doesn't match your skillset or desire, you can find it difficult to believe in the work. It will show in your attitude and effort.

2️⃣ Emotional Intelligence. Connecting on a deeper level beyond the transactions of the 9 to 5. Expressing empathy and communicating in a way that the team feels heard and seen.

3️⃣ Courage. Willing to take risks, empowering your team, and challenging the direction of both your subordinates and boss in a healthy way.

Like caring, you can't teach courage, but you can learn to be courageous. ▶️ You'll have to give yourself permission to fail, be wrong, and make mistakes. You'll have to step out of your comfort zone and loosen the controls.

High-performance environments require leaders who possess qualities that inspire trust and commitment. ▶ It is within this spectrum where discretionary effort is found.

How did I know I was living my purpose?

Hell, I didn't know—well, not immediately.

I know a lot of people talk about this eutopia. But what the heck does it even mean? For me, it is an abstract space. But in general, ▶️ it is a deep sense of alignment and fulfillment with the things you do day-to-day.

▶️ Your purpose will wake you up at night.

You might even experience a profound sense of joy, energy, and a need to be doing "something." ▶️ Even when it challenges the person you are willing yourself to be or the work you want to do, you'll want to forge ahead.

When you are living your purpose, ▶️ you won't separate what you do from who you are (identity). You will give yourself a title of some kind.

You will see a calibration with the meaningful work and person you are (or trying to be), ▶️ with your values, beliefs, convictions, and passions. You will notice a sense of flow and a sense of direction even without knowing the finished line—purpose gives you vision.

So, how do I know I'm living my purpose? It is because of this alignment. ▶️ Are you living your purpose?

It's not automatic. And most will say they will just walk out their boss's office and say with certainty the message that was agreed upon behind closed doors.

But you have, or will have, the minority opinion and the decision will be unpopular. It's no easy task to communicate it with confidence when you don't believe in it.

Psychologist Mehrabian's 1967 study, "Inference of Attitudes from Nonverbal Communication in Two Channels", says your body will give off a positive, neutral, or negative sign to your believability.

How will you message it? What preparation do you take to share the direction you violently dissented with behind closed doors?

This will be your test. The test is not just from your own boss, but also your workers.

Big shout out to my newest top fans! 💎 Will Curry, Yvette Padilla

Exciting new partnership for CORE and BCBS-NC, and Blue University!

"You are here to collect a paycheck."

My next question—"What's your attrition?" Their response, "High."

Of course it is. Why? Because there is still a segment of leaders who believe friendships or connections don't belong in the workplace. They say, "I am not here to make friends." The data proves otherwise.

▶️ 7 in 10 employees are engaged in their work when they have connections or friendships at work.

▶️ A 2012 Forbes survey showed that 65% of employees would rather have an engaging boss rather than a raise.

That's incredible.

▶️ 69.5% of employees would be happier having deeper connections with their colleagues.

▶️ A 2017 Forbes article, How Positive Employee Morale Benefits Your Business, showed 21% more productivity and 76% higher retention when morale was higher.

That doesn't mean leaders need to make each of their employees their BFFs. ▶️ But it does mean they need to be tuned into the emotional climate of their team and the idiosyncrasies of their individual employees.

As leaders, we need to be deliberate about connection-building. When you do, you'll notice improvements in teamwork, collaboration, problem-solving, and productivity. Facilitate opportunities for relationship building, and see the team gel, take ownership, and be more accountable.

When you make it about the paycheck, it will only be only about the paycheck.

I've found that leaders are actually a little skeptical of empowering their teams. Why?

It seems pretty obvious; empowerment is an enriching tool for motivation and improving performance. Why wouldn't leaders want to put the keys of the kingdom in their hands? Well, that's obvious, too—a perceived loss of control, lack of trust, afraid of the finished product, along with it being naturally risky.

There's an old survey I researched that showed 40% of managers believe, "If you want something done right, you do it yourself." All of the concerns above are attached to that shared belief. But the ▶️ benefits of empowerment are so much greater: collaboration, increased ownership at lower levels, and faster problem-solving. Why wouldn't you empower?

Words that are opposite of empowerment: restraint, prohibit, denial, limit, suppress, obstruct, block, interdict, and constraint. ▶️ This is how workers perceive a lack of empowerment from their bosses.

Yes—there's risk associated with empowerment. Potential to fail, potential to miss the mark, or could increase costs in rework. But that's where your leadership art comes into play by ▶️ giving intent, drawing the boundaries, and setting a feedback loop. Also, communicating costs and time, and identifying stakeholders; it all reduces the risk.

Final point—workers want to be empowered. They touch and manipulate these systems and processes hundreds of times daily. They don't want to come to you for solutions. ▶️ They already have the solutions. They just need you to empower them.

You were hired to improve outcomes. But, your approach is directly tied to the innovative and collaborative behaviors of your team. I get why you don't empower; because you want strict controls over the results. Yes, you will get the job done but ít will look more like what I heard a leader say recently: "see a job, do a job, eat a banana." I'm not sure that's what you intend for your team if you really want to push the organizational needle.

What aspect of the job could you empower more?

Are you just waiting for your moment? You know, your time to shine.

The idea that success happens just out of the blue only applies to less than one-half percent of us. For the rest of us, we just have to be ready when our number is called. Only 7% say they are in their dream job (Princes Survey, 2023).

Important point here—"Missed opportunities, more times than not are missed by people who fail to see the bigger picture. Instead of fixating solely on immediate costs, people forget to consider the potential returns, long-term benefits, and personal growth that an opportunity may offer." ▶️ When they fail to see the big picture, they don't do the work.

What could you be more ready for if your number was called? Think about the work you do or the passions you are interested in. What would best make you successful if it was?

▶️ Learn more, read more, or challenge yourself in areas you wouldn't normally. ▶️ Maybe you need to be more physically or mentally fit for that moment. It all prepares you for when your name is called.

The worst thing that could happen is the opportunity calls, but you aren't prepared for it—and it passes you by.

So, here we are with another one of the great idioms that we use in the workplace.

We say, "I'm going to fall on my sword."

It comes after you, a peer, or someone subordinate to you does something honorable, risky, or miscalculated. And instead of them taking the brunt of the blame or punishment, you see the honor in the fallout and take the blame and all that comes with it.

Or you see the value in the chance to make something better, so you are willing to risk it all for this 'one' thing.

What would be the reasons to take a sword? ▶️ A grave injustice, a make or break decision, sticking your neck out there—they are all admirable reasons for falling on it. ▶️ But falling on a sword to get your way with every 50/50 decision can be wasting your relational equity with your boss.

Enmeshed leaders that front issues that they really believe in, they take on the sword and believe they can do this time and time again. ▶️ But, "falling on one's sword" is not a multi-scenario undertaking. It's this one reason, this one risk, this one idea, this one subordinate, that you're willing to jump out in front of a bus for. ▶️ Taking a sword more than once can be seen as dangerous, reckless, and reduces your negotiation power over time, especially with your boss.

I don't disagree that because of your position or relative role, you may be able to sustain a sword. I assume it's because you are in an inescapable or helpless position. But like any other, being impaled can only be survived once. Then you lose credibility, look foolish, or get ignored.

Have you chosen what sword you are willing to take?

Maybe we've got it all wrong.

We say, "My people will have to earn my trust, first."

Here's why this can be wrong. It's your environment, your rules, and your conditions. We expect a newcomer to just trust it. What I am saying is a newcomer to any environment will be reluctant to go all-in without knowing the foreign space is safe to take risk, make a mistake, commit, or even form relationships. ▶️ Workers will test if it's safe to trust—and that's your job, to make it safe. Maslow (1943) clearly illustrates a human's need for safety and security before they are motivated to achieve any higher needs, obligations, or motivations.

And what would they have to do to earn it? How long does that take? Alarming enough, a Gallup poll (2023) reports only 23% "strongly" agree when asked if they trust their boss.

So, what if you flipped that around and earned their trust? What if you leaned-in and intentionally created a safe environment? What if you were vulnerable and showed empathy as they joined the team? ▶️ The product of your given-trust is commitment. Harvard Business Review reports a whopping 106% more energy produced at work when workers perceive a high-trust environment. It's a mindset that you extend to others.

Ultimately, the goal is to gain commitment. To create a thriving environment where workers perform uninhibited, offer suggestions, take risks, and give their best. But if it takes a regimen of conditions to gain your trust, you just might lose it before it's achieved.

When they trust you, they will come to you. When they don't . . .

Anyone ever told you they just want to be left alone?

You've attended all of these leadership courses. They focused on cultures of interdependence. Even, your own boss encourages engagement and connections. Being left alone goes against everything we've learned about leadership. After all, we live in a world that socializes, personalizes, and covets the informalities.

To be honest, I had no idea how to manage this early in my career.

How do you handle this? Do you lean in, ignore their call, and give them a heavier dose of you or do you retreat and leave them to their independence? I'm sure we can rationalize it as introvertive behavior to give us an out. But will you violate the organization's norms and values because a few oppose them? This is an important point—organizations can't just have workers operating outside of their trust, chemistry, or their collaborative structures to solving problems or being productive. In some cases there are a percentage of workers that just aren't a "good fit." You'll have to decide that.

But when it comes to facing this issue, here's what you can do—sit with them and share your team's values. Then ▶️ share what they can minimally expect from you when it comes to engagement. ▶️ Share what you need from them when it comes to communication. ▶️ Learn their personal boundaries and how you both intend to communicate within them.

How a team collaborates and engages one another to move the needle is important. They can't just be dismissed by a rogue worker. There are ways to accommodate—have that discussion.

"Take me the way I am."

I don't know how many times I've heard this statement. It shows up in a variety of contexts. And ▶️ it is a sure sign that the individual lacks all the things that compels them to say they are unwilling to change.

A narcissist's kryptonite:

▶️ Accountability
▶️ Being told, "No."
▶️ Empathy
▶️ Consequences

You can certainly lead people with this personality trait but ▶️ you will also certainly lose trust, commitment, and connections—all the things you require to create a high-performing environment.

So, you have to choose—Is my personality helping or harming my team?

"I'm not changing for anyone" ▶️ defends the known social and personality gaps we have because it is uncomfortable shifting. It's kinda arrogant. But also, there can be a blindspot that shows up differently for them that makes them defend their position. As well, if they change, they will have to acknowledge they were wrong.

▶️ Our authentic-us is not a pass to be sociopaths and narcissists.

Are you influential?

We've been using this word quite a bit over the last 8 - 10 years, now in the context of social media. An influencer is someone who has a loyal following and is considered knowledgeable in the field. They are trusted and have authority or insight into a specific subject, which can make their opinions influential.

In the work environment, ▶️ influence requires that you know the issues, know how to navigate them, have a record of winning, and be relatable to your team.

There's one thing to hold the title of leader or manager. It completely changes when you are influential.

The image in this post is summed up in my book, Extracting the Leader from Within (2021). Chapter 1 expresses how to capture your influence early with my Five Imperatives.

1️⃣ Scan the environment. Look for UXOs.
2️⃣ Communicate your redlines.
3️⃣ Secure a win.
4️⃣ Relinquish autonomy smartly.
5️⃣ Speak the tribe's language.

▶️ The second edition will be available at the end of this month. The new edition has raised the bar with smarter insights and better flow—You will love it.

When you say you want to lead, you meant all of this, right?

Leadership is not just about being out-front. It is about the additional hours, the refereeing, the decision-making, the talent development, the organizational resilience, the psychological safety. The list goes on.

One of the most difficult aspects for me was striking the right tone when it came to performance standards when the demand was high.

What aspect of leadership was difficult for you?

It's a precursor to losing your authenticity—it can happen to just about anyone.

It can start when you get a big job or promotion. In your head, you're thinking you've got big shoes to fill or you're not quite prepared for it, or you feel overwhelmed about the significance of the role. It's all happening internally.

Even though people don't admit it, the majority go through it. I also read in a NY Post article (2024), 32% feel they lack the skills to be successful. See! You are not alone.

Here's the thinking that shifts you from your authenticity:

▶️ I must be all things for everybody.
▶️ I must know everything for everybody.
▶️ I must win at everything for everybody.

When these mentalities become part of your thinking loop, you start faking it or fitting-in. This is the point that you lose your authenticity. 1️⃣ You become more directive to appear more in control. Or 2️⃣ fake like you know all the answers to come off as being on top of it all. Or even 3️⃣ do things out of character, at the expense of others, to prove you are fit for the job.

It can be subtle and reflexive. You can lose yourself in these shifts. Give yourself grace. You can't be someone you're not. Quite honestly, no one is expecting you to be.