Jessie Cooper

For almost 11 years IABA has served our clients through the science of Applied Behavior Analysis. This month we are PROUDLY adding counseling services at our Naperville location.

Jazmin has led our intakes department for years, it is with great pride and gratitude we are welcoming her into her next role at IABA. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe this incredible team is mine.

IABA provides counseling services to our current client families, as well as individuals outside of our current ABA caseloads. Our counseling services are conducted by Jazmin Aguilar, a Licensed Social Worker, with experience in various areas of mental health treatment and case management, as well experience as a Registered Behavior Technician in the ABA field. She is supervised and works collaboratively with our Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Rachel Murray. Outside of practicing ABA, she works individually with clients seeking mental health services in a private clinical setting utilizing techniques based on CBT, DBT, and Motivational Interviewing.

Our counseling services currently have immediate openings and are offered in person at our Naperville clinic, or virtually, adhering to our HIPAA guidelines.

We are currently accepting Blue Cross Blue Shield commercial insurance plans, as well

as most Medicaid MCOs, to include Blue Cross Blue Shield Community, Meridian,

Youthcare, and Molina Medicaid plans.

Contact Jazmin: [email protected], 630.601.3152

This type of love, if we're lucky, is given by a small handful of close friends, family members, and a partner if you desire it.

Let Love In | IABA Owner's Blog

Disconnect from the chatter of fear, lean into your wise mother (father, or non-gender binary), and allow your wisdom to wash over you as you navigate this crazy life. Remember, darling, you are wonderful. I can't wait to see what you find in the stillness of your own presence and love.

A Wise Presence - Instructional ABA Consultants Disconnect from the chatter of fear, lean into your wise presence and allow your wisdom to wash over you as you navigate this crazy life.

Q & A - What is Autism First of a limited series from IABA where Jessie Cooper discusses the common question "what is autism?" Jessie is a BCBA with years of clinical experience an...

I spend most of my time avoiding making Vlogs but was asked to do a limited series for IABA. Deep breath, here I go, first video in the series of Q&A @ IABA.

Q & A - What is Autism First of a limited series from IABA where Jessie Cooper discusses the common question "what is autism?" Jessie is a BCBA with years of clinical experience an...

There is a peaceful existence when we can witness our scars, and the scars we gave to others, then offer them the love they always needed. Witnessing can bring up deep moments of pain, just as we sit in that pain and allow love in, the pain will go away. As love takes over we can offer the original wound the care it deserves, the repair that will change your wiring. Offering love to your core wounds and shame stories disconnects us from fear and reconnects us to our loving nature. When we are connected to our loving nature our life becomes ours again. We become the person we always were and can choose our path with intention and not based on the fears of our past.

An Application of Love | IABA Owner's Blog When you stay rooted in love you can heal all wounds and live a life of peace.

Freedom comes from brave witnessing, healing, and offering ourselves a life where wounds don't select our futures for us, we do.

What's in the Wound? | IABA Owner's Blog

Witnessing Pain | IABA Owner's Blog Start today anew, offer yourself the gift of brave witnessing, and help us all as we shift to a more kind and peaceful planet.

This week has been a whirlwind for my family & I. In the midst of the wind I was in the process of filing for adoption for Dametrius. I'm asking for help, if you're able to give, with the legal fees. If you're not able to give, we're just asking for your love.

Adoption Fees for Dametrius, organized by Jessie Cooper Hi my name is Jessie and almost all of you know our story; Dametrius & I. Dametrius started… Jessie Cooper needs your support for Adoption Fees for Dametrius

If we don't acknowledge how hard emotions can be, we will show our kids big emotions are so scary even mom (or dad) has to push them down.

Strategies for Parents Through Big Emotions | IABA Owner's Blog

Validating our children's experiences and opinions teaches them their emotions aren't scary and can signal they need help navigating.

Through a Child's Eyes | IABA Owner's Blog

Day by day, choice by choice, we are asking, "am I filling a role, or am I filling my soul?" If the answer is a role, we're putting it down.

What Are We Putting Down? | Owner's Blog

My life has brought me to one conclusion; society has an agenda that has very little if anything to do with us as individuals.

The Importance of Not This | Owner's Blog

Applied Behavior Analysis with emotional regulation is the foundation for raising good humans in a way that brings me back to my peace.

Raising Good Humans | IABA Owner's Blog

Choice by choice, as social problems present themselves to me I can choose to say "not this" until I find my path back home to my peace.

Honoring Your Peace | IABA Owner's Blog

Everyone has outbursts, in this article I talk specifically about children having outbursts and the science behind it.
www.iabaconsultants.com/underneath-the-bursts/

Boundaries are so important, and teaching our children how to set boundaries for themselves is equally important. Read about it in my latest blog https://www.iabaconsultants.com/boundaries-on-the-home-front/

We all need to know when to set boundaries, this is what I write to you about in this week's blog. https://www.iabaconsultants.com/setting-boundaries-staying-true/

This week I talk about and Read all about it in my most recent blog, A Woman Unwilling to Bend. https://www.iabaconsultants.com/a-woman-unwilling-to-bend/

Building a mission-based business is harder than you might think. Read about it in my most recent blog.
https://www.iabaconsultants.com/building-a-mission-based-business/

In this blog, I talk about working in a BCBA and some of the challenges that have come from that, check it out https://www.iabaconsultants.com/a-decade-of-work-a-decade-as-a-bcba/

New blog Read about Mitigating Damage from Outside Noise, Power & Control, and Stop Listening to the Noise. https://www.iabaconsultants.com/take-a-stand/

Read my blog post on and hear about how I left fear behind and embraced love. https://www.iabaconsultants.com/leaning-on-love/

I’ve changed my own language from what I’ve lost to what I’ve gained.

I haven’t lost a marriage, I’ve gained freedom.

I haven’t lost a family, I found my true family.

I haven’t lost myself, I’ve found her.

Six months later I am a recovering perfectionist.

I still have Bulgarian flashcards around the house and struggle not to probe Henry with “what color?” when he’s just playing.

Instead, I am making a conscious effort to do nothing but truly be with my children when I’m home verses instructing them. I also make sure I don’t put down what I want to do in order to create a learning opportunity.

If I want to organize, bake, pay bills–anything for me–I just bring the boys into that activity.

It’s been nearly two years since my recovery from postpartum and I can tell you that being present brings me joy and brings my children joy.

I am hoping this piece of my story will bring other mamas peace and joy as well.

Do less. Be present. And live freely–imperfections and all!

Read more by clicking the link in my bio.

xo J

As a woman in business, I've spent the last near-decade building a company for children with autism I'm proud of each and every day.

In this next chapter of my life I want to share my knowledge, my heart and struggles with the world. I'm building a better world, keeping it real, and uniting love warriors everywhere.

What journey are you currently on?

The world outside is messy but I bet you have a few things to be grateful for.

So, maybe even today, instead of arguing with someone for the millionth time about your stance, you could take a deep breath and call your mom. Tell her you love her.

Can’t talk to your mom? That’s OK, call dad, a sister, a brother–make a phone call to someone you love. Say thank you.

Then pick up the pen and find what you’re truly grateful for.

Forever grateful to be able to watch my 3 boys grow.

What are you grateful for today?!

I’ve changed my own language from what I’ve lost to what I’ve gained. I haven’t lost a marriage, I’ve gained freedom. I haven’t lost a family, I found my true family. I haven’t lost myself, I’ve found her.

In shifting to a daily practice of gratitude I am not able to stop pain from happening and I am not totally free of fear. Remember the crowds in the stands? They can be hateful and loud. It hurts even more when a portion of the crowd shares your DNA. At least for me, it did. But outside of that noise is peace and knowledge that every human life matters, including mine. I am able to wipe the dust off my knees from whatever battle is ahead and bow in gratitude to the people standing beside me.

It is easy to lash out at others, question their beliefs, invoke shame, or simply shut down into our own little world. I have been guilty of both at times.

Neither has provided any long-lasting relief.

At first, I wrote very small things like “I’m grateful for a Henry kiss goodnight,” “I’m grateful for Declan belly laughs,” and “I’m grateful for a dinner with my three boys.” I wrote moments each day that started to become a tiny light.

As I leaned into this tiny light, I truly did begin to see more things to be grateful for regardless of the world around me.

I was able to move outside of the tiny gratitudes and see bigger things to be grateful for; a huge one being the incredible people that surround me.

I call them my tribe but my family and friends are unmatched in their ever-present love of me (and my love for them). I am a lucky woman.

In writing gratitude statements I was able to see that even when the world looks like it’s burning down around you, there is still more good than bad. Truly.

Boundaries are the lifeboat in the storm of life. The little raft you hold onto as the pain crashes around you and keeps you afloat until you wash up onto the shore of your next chapter.

By choosing what is right for yourself you must be willing to lose everything the world says is right in order to be strong and wise enough to choose for yourself.

Each decision that is right for your own heart is one wave closer to the shore.

As you lift your weary head, look around, and start to swim towards the shore you will see some people floating behind you while those who have always been by your side are applauding from the shore.

Let's connect on Instagram!

www.instagram.com/jessietopalov

Choosing what is right for you can be easy at times. Other times it will feel like it's ripping your soul in two.

Perhaps it is the ripping that creates the space for growth.

Each right (and hard) decision is the only way to live the life you were born to live. Life isn't about being happy and comfortable all the time.

The abundance of human emotions and spirit are all-wise councils. I'm not sure how happiness alone has sat on the throne for so long.

Authenticity is knocking and she wants her seat back.

As humans, we are conditioned to avoid pain for our own survival. As mammals, we have genetic coding to literally keep us alive.

Yet as we developed as a social species and created hierarchies we also developed a great big lie (okay, many great big lies).

The specific lie I'm writing about now is that the goal of life is to be happy and that happiness is obtained by achieving external desires.

The forever-running list of "if I just have, look, get, or accomplish I will be happy" purrs in far too many minds. It's poison looping within our own minds telling us to escape anything that feels unhappy, anything that feels painful.

I believe this is why so many of us choose what is wrong for us over what is right. Immediate escape to happiness over a lifetime of hard, right choices.

But what if we learned to choose differently?
What if we chose to see pain as a powerful teacher and not something to fear?
Pain as a phase and not a state of being?
Pain as part of the human experience that allows us to live a fully abundant life?

Not fully happy, but fully alive.

What I have learned over this past year is that pain, grief, anxiety, anger, and fear are simply part of the human experience.

These usually coined “negative” emotions are just as natural as joy, happiness, laughter, love, and peace.

You cannot know the feeling of a joyful emotion without knowing the painful emotion; you would have no reference point.

Life is not about staying zen, it’s not about being peaceful, loving, warm, and kind all of the time.

Life is about honoring your own worth, sharing the gifts you are born with, navigating the storms that may come your way, and knowing that peace is available amidst it all.

We cannot stop pain, thus fear exists. We can also not stop love, thus peace exists. The goal is not perfect peace.

The goal is radical self-love regardless of what is crashing around the shores of life.

Walk gently with your lives, my darlings. Do not get lost in the waves.

Place your hand on your heart, listen to peace beating against your hand, and know all is well.

When my anger spoke to me and said it would not go away I had to do something radical, something I’ve never done before; I sat with anger.

Sitting with anger is incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve written to you about sitting with fear, hurt, and pain but never anger.

The reason for this is that anger is an active emotion that needs an outlet and in our nervous system.

Anger seeks a release.

I know you’ve heard this phrase a million different ways, but you just can’t drive a car without gas (or electric!). In the same way, you cannot fully take care of your children the way you want to if you’re running on fumes.

I can’t ask you to step back and neutrally observe your child’s behavior if your nervous system is so overloaded a dog barking will make you snap.

So, before you start digging into this and ask yourself “what” about your child concerns you or “why,” first you need to ask, “what do I need to do this well?”

I have personally spent a lifetime criticizing my own behavior to make sure that I’m showing up as my best self, that criticism has taken me nowhere but to stress.

That criticism was a detour over witnessing what was really happening; abuse.

If you are there, wondering what you are doing wrong because of how another person is treating you the answer is this; not a goddamn thing.