Mono no aware

So eto ako ngayon, gaya gaya lang ako sa bestfriend ko. I've started to realize things when I'm in the process of moving on. I feel so dumb when we ended, because it seems like "Is this it? Do I really deserve to feel this?". What did possibly go wrong for us to end? Was it because I'm just your toy to play around? I hate it. I know that people could come and go, and I already expected you to leave. Was I worth it? Yes. Thank you for leaving me, it felt like my whole world seems to be happy ever since I've felt this freedom. I've become limitless, I felt so free. I even realized how worth it I am. I am someone who's worth the risk, and not someone who's ready to chase anytime. I feel so dumb to let myself fall for someone like you, although I already noticed that something's wrong with you. I felt dumb to let myself dedicate all my song lyrics, wasted every single leads of my pencil to picture you, wasted every single storage of my card just to capture every moments that I am seeing you inside the school, and every single ink of my pen. Was it puppy love? A happy crush? It is. I shouldn't dedicate myself to someone who's temporary. I shouldn't be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Because what about me? Is there a rainbow in my cloud? None. None other than myself. I'm still grateful that I met you, because there's still a temporary joy that i experienced amidst all the time that I have a problem. I was just a fish upon the sky. I'm already contented at what I have now, and I'm thanking a particular guy for making me feel worth it even if we're just together for a short time. People come and go, and I hope he won't. Everything could possibly repeat itself, and I already knew it from the start. I know that I don't need a man to treat me right, but there's a part of me that says I need it.

And I am congratulating myself for finally feeling worth it, and thanks to the guy who made me feel this way.

In the end of the day, I am the only person who's going to fight everything. I only have myself, and that's okay. The guilt has finally closed. All these wounds that existed before, has officially became a scars. I've lost my self when I lost him,

And now, after everything has passed.

This is the person who always felt like a second option, has finally become someone's 'worth the risk'

This is syineros, officially signing off.

12/21/22, 11:11

Dear beloved,

I don't know if I'll ever come to not love you anymore...I know that your happy now with someone else, and the sad part is that its with my best friend :((( I know that its impossible for you to love me back if your already gappy with someone else, so...I wanted to at least say goodbye to these feelings before completely moving on from you. I just want you to know that every moment with you were very special to me.♡ Even when you didn't know about my feelings, I still loved you completely. Its so heartbreaking writing this letter for you because I've love you more than anything in the world, including myself. But I couldn't bare to keep these feelings while knowing that your with my best friend. I feel like I'm betraying her for having this feelings for you....so I asked my friend to help me deliver this message to you, she asked if she could post this on a page where people posts about their feelings, so I said yes. Why? Because I somehow want to keep this message somewhere and remind me of my feelings for you in the future if ever I somehow moved on from you. I love you very very much, more than all the stars in the universe. 💫💫💫

-Kia SZ

|122122| 11:11

Idk if I should stop these feelings, sinasaktan ko lang lalo sarili ko.

-syineros

12/14/22, 11:11.

Tinanggal na ako sa bio? Masakit pero okay lang, ayoko parin maglet-go, gusto ko pa ipilit. Balik ka na:(

-syineros

12-13-22, 11:11.

'yan na naman tayo sa imy posting ko, isang i miss you naman jan boss, tatanggapin ko 'yan, pang christmas lang hehe

-syineros

12-13-22, 11:11

Hi parr, di ko alam kung dapat ba kong matuwa na nakikita kitang masaya na at kontento na sa buhay mo ngayon o malungkot dahil alam kong mas masaya ka na wala na ko sa buhay mo..? Ang gulo eh, di naman kita talaga dapat minahal ng ganto eh, pero ang hina talaga ng human heart, di ko kinayang hindi mahulog sayo. Di na nga tayo naguusap eh pero a part of me wants to have something more with you. Sabi ko naka move on na ko pero somehow I'm still stuck in the memories of you. I just want to say that I've always loved you even when you didn't know, I still continued loving you pero saklap ni fate par, hindi ata tayo para sa isa't isa. But still, I'll continue admiring you from afar without you knowing ♡.

-M.A.T

12-13-22, 11:11

Kuya esteves crush ka nung bestfriend ko, pacrush back naman daw po, beke nemen diba? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Mian

12-12-22, 11:11.

Hi, I impulsively created this acc for u. There's just a lot of words that i wanted to tell you before the year ends since you'll probably make your feelings fade na since vacation na.... Pero i'm still hoping for something more than friends, gusto ko ung magkakaroon ng something ulit sa akin. Although i kind of regret na i met you, ang tanga ko e. Idk what happened at i let myself fall for u without having any valid to do so. It's just that there's something about you that made me think na sana magtagal tayo. It's not just 'Puppy Love' for me, kasi i really really like you so much to the point na it hurts so bad seeing you acting na walang nangyari. I don't want to be your friend, gusto ko bumalik ka sakin. Balik ka na please HAHAHA

-syineros