Friends with Cancer: How to Help

This brings back memories of sitting on the floor in my bathroom fighting nausea. God was with me, even there.

"God isn’t just the God of

Steeples
Prayer meetings
Well-paying jobs
Mission trips
Intact families
Worship songs
Sunday school

All those visible spaces.

The ones we show to the world.
The ones that look like we have our act together.
The ones where we will be praised.

He’s bigger than that. Much much bigger.

His heart is bigger.
His presence is bigger.
His well-worn, tenderness is bigger.

BECAUSE

He’s also and especially the God of

Oncology visits
Broken hearts
Empty checking accounts
Funeral parlors
Rehab rooms
Sleepless and fitful nights
Bathroom floors
Messy selves and messy lives

The places where it’s just us and Him.

The ones only He can really see.
Hear.
Understand.
Guide.
Comfort.
Heal.

The places of
Loss
Despair
Loneliness
Doubt
Fear

That are also the places of
Growth
Hope
Belonging
Grace
Peace

The places that nothing and no one else can touch.

Except for this big big, 'very present help in time of trouble,' tender-hearted God.

Those are the most sacred places of all.

And some of the most beautiful."

Shared with permission from The Dolly Mama

Here's a tip to get your gifts safely to the ones you love: bubblewrap version 2020.

I love when God “prepares” us for what is to come. This music was written in early March or late February. It has been sung all over the world. God is not surprised.

https://youtu.be/y9EK8dAXl6I

The Blessing (Global Choir) | Live From Elevation Ballantyne | Elevation Worship "The Blessing" from Elevation Worship with a global choir live from Elevation Ballanytne. "The Blessing" is available everywhere now on Elevation Worship's n...

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Now you can learn on-line! Check out the link to my full class below. Be sure to ask me a question below.

Friends with Cancer How to Help Cancer survivor, Marla Hartson, explains the importance of helping your friend with cancer. You won't need to remember; after this class, you will understand...

Excited two announce two new dates for classes:

Both classes are at Crossings Community Church, Building C, Sanford Florida.

March 21 we will be video-taping the class.
April 18 is Pastoral Care Workers Day. We'll be providing breakfast. All are welcome, but all individuals serving a local church will be provided a free copy of my book, Praise PhD, Praising God in the Middle of Your Valley.

Help spread the word!

Last team: Team E is for Everyone. If you have run, walked, baked, served or supported a cancer fundraiser, thank you!!!! Cush, thank you for tattooing names on your body to raise money for cancer research.

While going through cancer treatment, I heard an oncologist from the Tampa VA. He had been treating cancer patients for 20 years. At first, his patients were mostly smokers with neck, throat and lung cancer. Their 5 Year survival rate was 20%. 😢

20 years later, his patients were mostly smokers with neck, throat and lung cancer. They were coming in at about the same stage as in the beginning. But now their survival rate was 80%.

Research has and continues to make amazing strides. I am so grateful.

There are so many ways to help. There is so much help needed.

Thank you again for your help!

Team D: Distant friends and family

You may think because you are far away, there is nothing you can do to help your friend who has cancer. Not true.

Going through cancer treatment can be very isolating and lonely. A call from a friend is not always welcome—but more often is a gift and a blessing.

I received more cards during my valley of cancer than all my life up to that point. I kept them all and even started a line of funny and encouraging cards for cancer patients.

You can send restaurant gift cards and fuzzy socks.

You can email or post on their blog.

And you can pray. And let them know you are praying.

Your friend needs you, even if you are far away.

Do you have a far away friend with cancer right now? Give them a call. Your love is a gift.

For those of us in Central Florida, this is Pastor Joel Hunter’s brother in law. The video is 6 minutes, but worth watching.

Mark B. Story 2020 This is "Mark B. Story 2020" by Granger Creative on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.

Who did you most recently help as a member of Team C?

You can type your answer below or click on the link to take the poll.

Options:
-Neighbor
-Coworker
-Community of faith member
-Cousin or other near relative
-Coworker's spouse

Your most recent Team C role was helping a friend with cancer who was a: (poll 10510073)

Friends with Cancer: How to Help updated their business hours.

Team C is for community. I am so thankful for my community during my valley of cancer.

What community? Your neighbors? Yes. Your church? Oh yes! Your coworkers? Yes. And their spouses, thankfully. Cousins? You bet, if they live nearby.

Team C is close enough to physically help.

If a cancer patient has a strong Team B, and/or very targeted treatment, they might not need physical help from Team C.

I was the mother of school age children (6 & 10). My closest relative lived hours away. My husband had no vacation days due to an accident the previous year. So I needed my community.

When I teach about how to help a cancer patient, it’s based on all the amazing help I received, mostly from my Team C.

Tomorrow I want to do a poll on which part of Team C you are or have been in.

Thank you for your help to your friend with cancer. It is so needed!

Team C. This is the power to really help our friends with Cancer.

I’m going to start with me: Cancer survivor.

As a cancer survivor, anyone who is newly diagnosed comes straight to me. Sometimes I know exactly what to say. Sometimes there are no words.

As a survivor, anything I do is more beneficial than the same thing done by someone who is not a survivor. That’s because—I survived! I am hope in the flesh.

There are so many other groups in this team.

If you are a cancer survivor, please say hi and let me know: How many cancer patients and/or survivors are you currently praying for or encouraging?

Today I want to describe Team B. That’s your friend with cancer’s besties, spouse, children, siblings, parents— but only if they live nearby AND are healthy and able to provide support.

Just like with Team A, the rest of us do NOT get in their way! Help in, ask for help out.

If you are Team B for someone right now, please post your relationship to your loved one with cancer in the comments. I would be honored to pray for you and your loved one. Team B only on this post please.

Tomorrow I’ll describe Team C. That’s going to be most of us.

Do you know what team you are on for your friend with cancer?

Team A is the doctors and practitioners (eastern and western) treating the patient. The rest of us do NOT get in their way!

Tomorrow I’ll describe Team B.

Children sing “Good morning, good morning, how do you do? Good morning, good morning, I ‘m fine, how are you?”

In the same way, we are taught to say “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know”. But those words are rote courtesy that may or may not be meant. They offer no hint what kind of help might be reasonable to ask.

I suggest you “offer less”. Go ahead and say what courtesy requires, but add some examples. Think of two or three things you could easily (or willingly) do.

Could you take the children for a couple hours—or a night? Could you bring a meal or hang out during a test?

Your friend won’t be limited to what you offer, but they will be empowered by your suggestions and encouraged by your consideration.

Thank you for caring enough to offer specifics.

https://reddit.app.link/8bRzF9AR73
Here’s my joke for Mackenzie today. Hope she likes it! Find a joke your friend with cancer will like and send it their way. Laughter strengthens the immune system, improves your mood—and it’s fun.

r/dadjokes - When do you stop at green and go at red? 11 votes and 0 comments so far on Reddit

Our dear friend, Melvin Jones, left us unexpectedly Tuesday evening. Our hearts are broken. His celebration of a life well-lived will be Saturday at 11am—Just after our class.

I don’t know how set-up will impact attendance at the class, but I do know this. It will take an army to replace all the good deeds Melvin did in between fighting his medical issues. Or perhaps, for Melvin, a navy?

There is room for laughter in our tears. Seriously, although my heart is broken, my face is smiling. I can’t help but smile when I think of Melvin, even as I cry.

Be inspired by our amazing friend and then join me at his celebration of life.

We’ll see you Saturday.

Are members of your church going through cancer treatment? Is someone coordinating the help? Please tag that person to let them know about this class. Help me equip your church to be “God with skin on” during their valley of cancer.

Today’s debut of Friends with Cancer: How to Help was exactly what God wanted it to be. I missed several publication deadlines. I missed messages on this page. But four prayer warriors whose lives have been impacted by cancer came to a support me — and enjoyed it and learned! Yeah!

I need your help getting the word out about these classes. I’ll be posting two new dates early next week.

And I hope to start posting videos soon. Here we go!!!!