Dr. Drea Psychology

Perfectionism is something I stumble across with many of my ambitious, go- getters. However, although often attributed in a positive way with high achievers, it's always actually a hindrance to optimal performance.

We are less likely to strive for something, if we believe we're not as likely to be successful. Fear of failure, procrastination and self-sabotage excuses often enter through the perfectionism door.

Mindset shift: Redefine Success and expectations of the journey towards it.

Most of us don't become parents expecting to revisit our own childhood issues, our own flaws or learn of new weaknesses, but we ALL DO!

Every new challenge for our child's health or growth, challenges us. Treat yourself with the same grace, flexibility, love and patience that you try to find for your littles. You deserve it and they're watching.

When I work on this with my mamas, motivation to do this for themselves is sometimes challenging, but more often than not, doing it for "them" often clicks. 😉

Great Reminder! Happy Thursday everyone!

Happy Mother's Day!

Sending all the love, positive vibes and warm wishes to all those who deserve to be celebrated today! Mom is a loaded title and withholds our most vulnerable needs, wants, expectations and values. Our identity is shaped by our experiences of our mother (or lack thereof).

Mothers are often associated with our first sense of safety, nurturance and belonging. Those of us who have never had it or lost it, often always yearn for it. The journey of motherhood is magical and relentless. It pulls us, challenges us, exhausts us and yet fills us with a love and fulfillment we couldn't ever truly imagine.

To all the Step-moms, God moms, foster moms and those who do a full mom job without the title, you deserve today, you are mom.

To all those who have wounds related to their mothers, loss or hurts related to their own motherhood, loss of a child or struggling with fertility or adoption... I see you, I feel you and I'm sending all my love. I hope you can receive all that you need for today.

For us mothers, once we're also a mom, we get it. Personally, I would like to send a special thank you to my wonderful angel mom in heaven, I always loved you, still miss you and appreciate you more and more as I journey through motherhood. Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law, step-mom, aunt-moms and all others who have nurtured me along the way.

The most special thanks to my wonderful rainbow baby, Nina who broke my infertility spell and brought pure joy to my life. Another special thanks to my stepdaughter who I raised and from whom I've had my first taste of motherhood. ❤️

Happy Mother's Day!

Introspection and self-awareness are important here, because you need to identify when you are more inclined to people please. What's pulling you?

One of my favorite tactics is to buy yourself some time. You DO NOT have to answer or respond immediately! "Okay, I'll think about that and get back to you"!

Establish a few default "No" statements that you are most comfortable with for starts. Some of my favorites include "Unfortunately, that's not going to work for me," "I'm just not comfortable with that", "No thanks, but appreciate you thinking of me"... I recommend staying away from excuses that someone can dispute. The statement should be conclusive and not open for negotiation. "I've said my piece, this is not negotiable, I appreciate you respecting that".... Or just repeat your answer exactly, again.

Change your mind! Many of us value integrity and consider it law to follow through if we've agreed to something previously. For respect and reliability in relationships, this is a GOOD value to uphold to, but sometimes things change or perhaps we were aggressively pushed into an answer and later on feel horrible about this obligation. When that happens, you can change your mind... "Hi, I agreed to this earlier, but on second thought, unfortunately, this is just not okay for me or going to work for me."

Initiating this process is tough and scary, but once you get into this practice, it will improve your self-esteem, confidence and allow you to see who can and will respect your boundaries.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

People pleasing is a passive interaction style where you fear disappointing others and often succumb to what others request of you at the cost of what's best for you or meeting your needs.

I often practice assertiveness training with all of my clients to empower them to push pass the discomfort and learn to express themselves, input boundaries and enforce them. Most clients are fearful of starting this practice, but once they've begun this practice, it's LIFE CHANGING!!!!

How often do you laugh?

I call laughter and humor the dark horse of wellness. It's highly beneficial for our emotional well being, which transfers to our physical health. People who laugh more, cope better overall, live longer and improve their health.

In recognition of National Infertility Awareness week, let's make space for all those who have struggled or are currently struggling with trying to conceive. We see you, we feel you and send our love and support.

It's human nature to collect evidence that proves our prior conclusions correct. For a sense of safety, we have a need to be right.

This occurs consistently, even after we've created major distortions based on minimal experiences. These conclusions become our internal script and then become our whole world view.

Dr. Drea has opened more session times! Limited availability and will fill up quickly!

If you or someone you know has been thinking about investing in themselves, improving confidence, self-esteem, productivity, work/life balance, now is the time! Stop people pleasing, procrastinating, struggling with mom guilt and hiding from your dreams. Let's do this!

For further inquiry, DM for details or email at [email protected].

Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing mamas out there! Everyone nurturing the growth and development of a young one deserves to be celebrated today... Not everyone is officially called mom, but this day is also for you.

To those struggling with motherhood, battling hard feelings towards your maternal figures, battling infertility, loss of a baby or loss of a mother... Today may not feel like a day of celebration. Maybe you're having conflicted feelings. It's okay to make space for that. I hope for today, you can take time for whatever it is that you need. You deserve it!

Special thanks to my mother in the sky who taught me everything I ever needed about love and how to be the best mommy ever. I thank my close aunts, stepmother and mother in law for always nurturing, guiding and supporting us throughout our journey here. I thank my stepdaughter for giving me my first taste of motherhood and all that comes with the territory. Lastly, I thank my Nina for being my greatest blessing after 5 years of infertility and officially turning me into a mama. Of all the things I've ever accomplished, becoming a mother is by far my favorite ❤️