Added too many professional friends so I sh*tpost here

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_expression

Thad McChaddington

"No! I don't have chlamydia! That's barely even a half-truth! I don't even eat clams! Enough with your foolish questions! I am the Lisan al Gaib and only I get to ride the sandworm at Disneyland! AS IT WAS FORETOLD!" goblin prince Timothée Chalamet erupted into bizarre rant during heated interview with Don Lemon, days after Elon Musk threw a similar hissyfit and banished him from Mars.

A world-weary Zendaya, who unintentionally provoked the outburst, had this to say: "honestly, I was just getting sick of him saying his last name all the time. He'd be like 'hi, I'm Timothée Chalamet, nice to Chala-meet you' and at first I thought it was just kinda quirky and eccentric, but then he'd started doing it all the time. He'd say stuff like 'I sure hope the Chala-METS win the superbowl this year!', even though he doesn't know anything about football and thought Taylor Swift was quarterback for the Besaid Aurochs.

He ended up getting a bit too sassy and asked, mid-interview, 'would I care for a taste of his Chala-meat?'. I just asked him 'wait, isn't your last name French for chlamydia?' while striking an MJ pose and he just erupted. Embarrassing AF. Also, I don't want to kinkshame, but he wears women's watches... and they all smell like a lunch lady."

When he heard the news of his paramour's travails, loveable scamp and used watch salesman Tom Holland allegedly became so incensed that he took off his waistcoat and assumed a fighting stance, promising to "bloody deck him, the cheeky sod" if he ever spotted Chalamet on the mean streets of Kingston upon Thames, where fisticuffs remains the only rule of law.

S.O.S.