Thriving After 40

The willingness to keep an open mind, an open heart and open eyes will keep the world of possibility open to you, leaving you more aware of what you can learn and take in. This is the way.

We are too hard on ourselves. Too often we compare our beginning with someone else’s middle or end. The only question to be asking yourself is, what have I done for practice today? What have I done for learning today? What can I do today that will help me be better at x tomorrow? And then celebrate every little win that comes your way.

If you aren’t paying attention to those little milestones and recognizing them for the significant things they are, you can miss so much and have a warped perspective.

Releasing the need to keep blaming others is the way to release the shackles you create in your own life. Can you look at that difficult person/situation and find what you’ve learned from the experience? How has this person helped you become a better person? What are all the things you’ve learned from the situation? How can you apply what you learn from this contemplation to making your life better?

Things are rarely black and white. Most things are colorful and dynamic and it’s our job to find that color. There’s always something there that you may not have been able to see in the moment. Take the time to reflect and find it.

In the mix of darkness it can be so hard to see the light, but you can pick up the pieces and start over, at any age. Even if we aren’t ready for it, sometimes life requires us to turn the page onto a new chapter. Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s not going to be beautiful.

Have you found the right people to collaborate with? Are you working with people who lift you up? People who share your integrity, your passion and commitment to excellence? If you aren’t, what would it feel like if you were surrounded by such people? What do you think could be accomplished? What would your days feel like?

After over 20 years of executive recruiting I can tell you without a doubt, the money will not be the x factor that makes you happy. It’s all about the people and the project.

If you aren’t working with the right people, I would suggest it’s time to find the team you can make some magic with.

Each one of your actions creates a ripple effect into the world. Spend some time thinking about what you are putting out into the world and then spend some time thinking of what you WANT to put out in the world. Make sure these two things are aligned and if they aren’t, you can make the decision to create the right changes.
You get to choose the kind of impact you want to make.

If you struggle with moving past your perfection, a good suggestion is to set a goal date. A date when you will start and a date when you expect to finish. Take steps every day to prepare, get yourself as ready as possible, and then move forward at your goal date regardless. You’ll find that your ‘less than perfect’ is amazing to someone else.

Think about the person you don’t know but admire most because of their accomplishments. We tend to put these people on pedestals because we don’t really know them. Knowing someone closely makes them human, so watching someone you know to be deeply human go after their goals and succeed, it makes you realize, hey, if they can do it, I can do it to! You just have to believe in yourself. We all hold our own special magic within ourselves. When you find your magic and share it, you help others do the same.

Story after story has shown that it’s not about intelligence, it’s not about talent, it’s about the effort. Trying, giving it all you’ve got and going after your wants with all your heart, continuing to take those baby steps every day, this leads to metamorphosis and accomplishment. When you do that once, you realize you can do that with anything. You contain multitudes.

Set your intention, what is your current goal? Think about, what baby step can I take today? And then do it. Then ask yourself the same question the next day and the next day.

No one is better than you at playing your game.
It is meaningless to be at the top of someone else’s game, it’s all about being at the top of your own. It’s your life, your rules, you get to create them and you get to change them when they don’t work for you.

Create your world and build your life exactly as is right for you.

So many of us struggle with the ‘what if’s’ and ‘why didn’t I’s’ – this is so human, this is so normal but that does not make this thought process right. When you start going down the path of beating yourself up for past perceived transgressions, remember, you can only see what you see in that moment. You can only make the decision with what you have in front of you. You are doing your best in any given moment. Beating yourself up will not make any situation better, it will not make you better, the only way to make the situation better, is to learn from it.

Getting clear on your goals and writing them down brings a special kind of magic and the universe conspires to make it all happen with you.

The minute you identify what you want, you create this awareness in your mind. This puts you in a position where your eyes have been opened. This process triggers your reticular activating system which causes you to see the world differently. Just like the moment you decide to buy a dog, you see dogs EVERYWHERE right? They were always there, but you didn’t fully notice them until you decided to buy a dog. Same thing happens when you get really clear on what you want your life to look like. You’ll start noticing the potential all around that can help you reach your goals and it will feel like doors suddenly start opening.

Getting clear on your goals and writing them down brings a special kind of magic and the universe conspires to make it all happen with you.

The minute you identify what you want, you create this awareness in your mind. This puts you in a position where your eyes have been opened. This process triggers your reticular activating system which causes you to see the world differently. Just like the moment you decide to buy a dog, you see dogs EVERYWHERE right? They were always there, but you didn’t fully notice them until you decided to buy a dog. Same thing happens when you get really clear on what you want your life to look like. You’ll start noticing the potential all around that can help you reach your goals and it will feel like doors suddenly start opening.

What is more important than your life? Make sure you don’t put anyone else in charge of your body and souls health and happiness. You are the gardener of your own soul.

You can change the way you feel about a situation by changing the way you talk about it. Think about what a word does to your body. The word struggle feels heavy, negative, hard and uncertain. It’s a contracting feeling in your body, an avoiding feeling. The word opportunity bring a different feeling, this brings forth excitement, curiosity, a smile, a can’t wait feeling. It’s an expanding , opening up feeling in the body. You have the power to choose your words and define how anything will impact you.

Your brain is your supercomputer and your self talk and beliefs are the programs that will run it. Tell yourself you are terrible with directions – you got it, you’ll be terrible with directions. Tell yourself and others that you never remember names, your brain says, check, never remembering names. Whatever you are telling yourself, those thoughts become unconscious programs for your mind. So, what have you been telling yourself?

You get to choose how you look at the world and how you think. Adopting a positive mindset is one of the most transformative practices you can bring into your life. Your mind is capable of so much more than you realize; practice feeding your mind with positivity, and you’ll find your world expanding in the best ways.

Don't let anybody dictate what defines your uniqueness as a person.

You are who you are and only YOU can define every aspect of your life.

Kindness is the easiest gift you can give. It will be felt, it will be appreciated and it will create additional kindness in others moving forward. A simple way to make a big impact on the world around you.

Critical and judgmental people have the most criticism and judgement for themselves. Why would you allow an unhappy person to impact your own decisions and judgements about yourself?

Do not allow someone else's criticism impact you!

Take a look at your programming. The knee jerk reactions you have without realizing why, the triggers that set you off without explanation, where do these things come from?

Next time you find yourself reacting in such a way, bring awareness. Why are you reacting this way?

It is natural to want to close your heart after experiencing trauma in life, but this is not the healthy way. Keeping your heart closed off is not keeping you from getting hurt, it’s keeping you IN the hurt.

We can learn from everyone around us. Who is doing exactly what you want to be doing? Where are they showing up? How are they showing up? What did they do to get there? Learn from the people who came before, a wealth of knowledge can be learned by simply watching and asking.

“A walk in nature, walks the soul back home.” - Mary Davis

Honor the desires that come up - the things that tug at your soul are there for a reason. Pay attention and open the door to new possibilities.