Bloodline Severed

The sin in you…. Getting ready to do a little pit maneuver

The Sin In You(2).mp3 Shared with Dropbox

I believe this new record we are writing will be the most important music we have written…..EVER! For such a time as this. It’s important for me, I need this record. Some of you know a small taste of my bouts with mental health and dealings with my past. The past that seems to creep up when you never wanted it to. Like holding a balloon under the waters surface that ballon pops up.

It is already ministering to my soul, getting things “out”. For the first time I am writing for myself in hopes that you reading this will receive healing as well. This album will be a tough listen and triggering for some but if we push through this thing together WITH JESUS we will be ok, I believe that. Jesus will bring the healing that he desires for us. Sometimes you have to weather the storm, drive through the wind and hell to get to the other side with a different view.

The singer

There is a blessing and a curse that I am chained to and I’m sure many will be able to relate to this. This is something that affects every area of my life, even with my relationship to/with God. I am never satisfied with anything I do, this is the weird dichotomy of blessings and curses I am referring to. Never being satisfied constantly keeps me pushing to succeed but also never truly happy with anything I do or create of even how I relate to God, my family, and others that are close to me. I’m never satisfied which I’m relationships I can push to hard to the point of exhaustion and shut down, then I go loner style having nothing to do with anyone, a form of self sabotage. When people don’t meet my standards I shut them out. It’s pride as well and I am trying to work on this with everything in me. Anyone else relate? Comment below so we can have discord and discussion.

Happy New Year Everyone! Big things and new songs coming!!!! Hope 22 was great but here’s to an even better 23!

Bloodline Severed Musician/Band

I really feel this. Trauma is a symptomatic vicious cycle of symptoms instead of memories. It’s what makes it so difficult, never truly understanding why you are the way you are and why you feel the pain you feel.

This is Corey. I have had a YouTube channel for quite sometime but I am going to be posting more on it. Having fun, talking mental health, music, family and everything Bloodline Severed. Go like and subscribe and hit bell notifications so you know when I post something.

Corey Weaver - YouTube Husband, Father and Christ follower. Lead singer of the band Bloodline Severed. On this channel we will have fun, talk mental health, talk music and all thin...

Don’t forget!

Bloodline Severed Musician/Band

Guys we are all going to be posting on here a lot more but not all posts but quite a few will be about mental health and the struggles I have had with it and others.

As the body, the body of our Lord and Savior we need Him as our head but we need others as the body. It’s time for us to talk about mental health and I do believe the Church body is behind but I really do believe that the Church is really trying to understand.

I want these various posts and types of posts to speak to you, for you to be able to say “wow someone gets it, gets me”. I hope Bloodline Severed can create more of a talking space for people to vent and create community. That’s what defines us is real conversation and if I have to be transparent to create that space here, then I will do that. I NEED TO DO THAT! You guys don’t know how bad I wanted to take that post down after posting it. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, not taking it down. I think I have always been transparent but that was surface or maybe just below, these things, like the post last night is getting more below the surface. It’s hard to be open sometimes. You feel like people are going to judge you or look down upon you. But that’s really shame talking. I do need to post things. I could do that on my personal space but I want you guys to feel that you have a place. I am not a therapist but I will pray for you. I will mark down names of those who request it and I will pray for you.

WE HAVE HOPE when we have each other (the body) and Christ as our head. The Bible says “come let us reason together”, so let’s do that. I can’t say I am always in the best of spots on my faith at times, that’s we best holds me tightly but I have hope. He wants to prosper me but sometimes “pain” needs to be dealt with, more on that to come.

-the lead singer

***Longer post but do your best to read***

Several years ago now, David our bass player wrote the lyrics for one of our songs off the Letters to Decapolis album, the song was called Masquerade, that song always intrigued me when he wrote it. I didn’t know why then but I understand it’s meaningfulness now. Honestly these days it’s a hard song to listen to, the first verse gets me, it’s like he wrote that song for me or better yet to me. Music has a way to transcend time and especially when written from the Holy Spirit. The chorus and bridge lead me to a place that I haven’t been to in a few years now, a place of hope, even though hope is a hard place to find these days it brings me a sense of hope.

Masquerade- a false show or pretense; pretend to be someone one is not.

Masquerade ball- Masquerade masks were worn delicately by the prosperous class at balls. Masquerade masks had many uses including hiding one's identity, and using different colour to express one's freedom of speech and voice one's emotions and opinions without judgement.[1] There were two types of base masquerade masks; black masks and white masks.

Growing up many masks were worn. Quoted from the above definitions the masks were worn to hide one’s identity. Also quoted black masks and white masks were worn, as in duality. It allowed one to give themselves (using colors) to express ones freedom of speech and voice one’s emotions. It’s a false show or pretense which allowed one to be someone one is not. As a child I understood this all to well!

But the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I too wore masks and I still do. It’s all I’ve known and know, it’s what I am good at…really really good at. Heck this band was a great way to hide. I could hide behind a microphone and be someone I wasn’t. People knew my name, people played our music, record labels were calling, music videos were shot, people wanted to interview me, people were singing and were touched by the music I wrote, we played large festivals, and we had show after show lined up. It was everything any musician could and should be excited about, but I wasn’t. I searched and searched for my next fix and nothing was good enough and I was still empty. Interestingly enough one of the songs I wrote was Once Empty, but there was no once empty, I was STILL empty. Hollow actually. Numb. The band allowed me what I thought was an escape but I used it covertly to wear a mask. The band was another tool and mask to hide behind.

As a child I did the same. I was always the loud one (still am), I was always the one that had to be the center of attention (I still do sometimes), I always have to talk because I am afraid of silence. Silence means things from my past that I have shut out and dissociated from may trickle back into my mind like a black ooze that’s always ready and willing to consume me, so I talk… I hate silence. Silence was very scary to me growing up and was the “calm before the storm”, silence meant some one was about to lose it. To me when someone grows silent bad things are about to happen, things that are out of my control and I need that control to keep me safe, so I talk, and I perform. It’s not always the quite one to pay attention to, sometimes it’s the loud one. The mask that everything is ok but it’s anything from ok. It’s just a mask. It’s nothing, I was nothing.

My mask works though…or does it? Can people see my through my mask? I may sometimes let the wood holding my mask come down but will people see right through me…I have to perform and look as if everything is ok. Don’t look upset in public. Even now that bothers me, if I do let my true emotions out then someone will ask “are you ok”, and what do I say to that question? What can I say? So I put my mask back up to my face and say “I’m good” then, I will perform. I hate to be a burden so I will laugh, make jokes, but most have no idea what I am thinking.

Why am I still here? I perform. My mask does it’s job. It allows me to hide the pain and numb out. I guess I am just duality like everyone else growing up. Does the Apple fall far from the tree? I guess not! But I do have hope I suppose.

-the lead singer

I always knew I had “issues” as many would say. I have battled depression and anxiety for many many years, well over half my life. As a child and teenager it was overwhelming.

I didn’t want to go to school and my stomach would hurt on a daily basis, such immense pain I would have to lay down. I cried myself to sleep every night, afraid of what….I don’t know, heck I would be afraid if I wasn’t afraid. I cried alot. Other siblings would manage there “issues” with immense anger. We were dealing with things the best way we could.

My next comment isn’t a bashing of the church, far from it. It is my prayer that we as a whole, the church I mean get better at mental health. We need to get better. Trying not to see that I have a faith problem, just to see me as a man that is sad and I don’t know why, I just am. When I spend alone time with God this helps immensely. It’s the only thing that helps, so why is it so hard to stay in the shelter of the most high. There are a myriad of reasons why but maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I know who hold the keys to my peace but I am not the best at running there. It’s just not that easy sometimes. If I being honest it’s shame and pride.

The last thing I will say is this before we all church bash. Let’s be honest the reason NONE OF US are good at mental health is, well we don’t want to be bothered with peoples issues. We just don’t. We can lie about it or say a lot of different catch phrases to make ourselves feel better but we just don’t want to hear it. It’s weighty and messy at times. We….the collective human race need to be better at listening and being there for those that are down and out.

From the last 2 posts I am praying for those that commented. Again I am not in the position to counsel but what I can do is pray for you. Everyone paying attention to these posts at all need to be praying. We may not always have the right things to say but sometimes people need to ge things off there chest and we as the listener need to take them before the Father.

*******LET ME FIRST QUALIFY THIS POST UPFRONT TO ENSURE IT IS READ. I am in no way condoning sin, making excuses for it, or negate that we are flesh and in a fallen state without acknowledging the redemptive work of Christ on the cross and the need to partner with him mainly the Holy Spirit in our walk in sanctification and holiness. “Be ye holy for I am holy” and this can only be done through Christ and the Holy Spirit and not in and of ourselves. Our flesh is our biggest battle and crucifying it is of most importance. Again I am not trying to condone sin or make excuses for the flesh.********

Sin and trauma

I have battled addictions most of my life. Po*******hy and ni****ne were my go to’s. (Still struggling with the ni****ne part and would be a liar if I said I have been perfect in the p**n part but this has been drastically cut back). I would not say that alcohol has been an addiction for me but I have and if I am being honest, I am an abuser. Alcohol is something that I use to escape and I have adused it at times. I use it and other addictions to numb and another form of dissociating from the deep internal pain. Internal pain that I am within the last few years of working on and through. Through Christ and a good Christian therapist used by him to help facilitate this process.

I hate all three of them with a passion. I hate them. Trauma and deep hurt can cause people to abuse things that they utterly hate. But tack on the flesh and it’s pull with deeply held trauma and it’s a double whammy. I would say that most that have addictions with what we would consider the worst of the worst addictions like p**n, drugs, and alcohol have deep seeded pain, some of which they may not even know they have. I would say a large majority of these type addictions have dealt with a significant amount of trauma. It’s an escape an escape that we hate and know that after we do them and the stupor wears off we feel absolutely horrible and hate ourselves for it. We deal with the shame of our past as well as the current shame of the chains we hold so tight. Looking for that brief moment we can numb out and escape from even if for a moment. However we know that it only just compounds the problem. We know Jesus could deliver us from it all but are afraid of the work we have to put in and like a friend that will stab us in the back (addiction) we continue to hang on because addiction is an easy fix that doesn’t cost us much and it’s all we know. It’s a bastard friend we have always held tight. It’s all a lie. We know it’s a lie but have no control, we are afraid to let go on the phantom control addictions give us. We have no control!

I strongly believe that the human race needs to stop the judging of those who battle addictions. Because if we are honest when left to ourselves we all have sin and addiction that we hold to, maybe your sin or addiction may not be as strong or such and internal battle to war against but we all hold to things that are so hard to let go of, the Bible says if we say we don’t then we are a liar and worse yet we are calling God a liar.

What do you do behind closed doors when no one is watching? What sin or addiction do you hold onto? I strongly believe that those that have gone through hurtful or horrific things and still have a heart beat and continue holding on are the strongest warriors this world has ever had the pleasure to see and be around. They have already survived the worst of the worst and still hang on when every voice in their head says “let go, end it all”. If they are in recovery or open about their struggles while someone else sits behind their computer or there pompous lies that they aren’t perfect but pretty darn close, then I applaud those with addictions and there strength to stand up and say “I struggle with this and continue to fight it, as well as fighting my demons from the past” then sir or mam I applaud you and I see you and guess what Jesus does as well. For you are one that Christ can use and work through not some one who is pious and oblivious to there “silent sin”, Jesus has and does continue to use people like is that say “I am jacked up and need Jesus”, I need him and want him. I will say this keep fighting and clawing your way to your deliverer. We need to work internally with the help of the Holy Spirit and he will pull us through but you have to fight TO HIM. Fight just like you have fought in the past. He and he alone will deliver us but we must fight. And really we will look back and see that HE WAS FIGHTING FOR US, we just didn’t see it at the time. Stand strong is his resilience and his strength and we will get through this.

Jesus loves you so much and he see’s your struggle, get up each day and rely on Christ not your own strength and ways of escape. This is hard and will be a battle but things change when we realize the battle is the Lords and “IT IS FINISHED”. I will pray for you and please do the same for me.

I see you…..most importantly JESUS see’s you. Allow him to work through you to break the generational struggles on behave of your future generations, ensuring they have better than you ever did, there’s nothing that can be done about your past but fight to ensure your future generations are free!

Welcome to the new page! Lots of new things coming down the pipeline.

Stay tuned!

We are back and officially launching this page!
Corey, John, Aaron, Joey and David. New single coming soon!