The Extra Average Mom

Been re-learning this all my life 🖤

It’s been a while…

This damn elf will be the death of me one day 😅

When you let go, beautiful things can happen. - TheExtraAverageMom

Each new day can be a fresh start, if only you let it. - TheExtraAverageMom

Nature is ever changing. Humans should be too. That is why the older generation can be so terrible at times, just stuck in their old ways not willing to learn and grow. - TheExtraAverageMom

A narcissist thrives off making you feel like you are all alone. Just remember this, you are not. - TheExtraAverageMom

Nature is both beautiful and deadly. Be more like nature. 🖤

Finally got back into my old Facebook and found this sitting in my memories from 2 years ago 🖤

Healing childhood trauma is a lot like mourning a life you never got to have. - TheExtraAverageMom

Healing yourself means fighting to see the beauty in the damaged, every day you wake up. You’ve just got to trick your brain sometimes. - TheExtraAverageMom

Getting back into nature with your own children is often the best way to heal your inner child. - TheExtraAverageMom

Things I’ve Learned in the Last Month-
Healing is a lot of hurting yourself more.
Reparenting yourself has no timeline.
Getting better is very lonely and tiring.
Finding yourself means losing everything you’ve ever known.
Rebirth requires the death of the you you’ve always been.
It’s all very scary.
Staying stuck requires so much less work. 🖤

Picked this one up from the library two weeks ago and just now finished it. I will definitely be adding this to my list of books to buy. If you’re just starting out on a more spiritual journey like myself, I highly recommend this book!
Almost all ancient religions initially worshipped the moon. Once agriculture started becoming the way of life more than the hunting and gathering—peoples beliefs shifted into worshipping the sun. Christianity did a great job of completely demonizing any form of moon worship, but it’s still very much alive.
I began my journey reading about Italian stregheria, next moved on to a book about Greek Gods/Goddesses and was surprised by just how similar the early belief systems were! I wanted to dive deeper into where all the deities actually came from. And this book gives you a great first look inside ancient civil actions from the Greek and Romans, China, even to the most ancient known civilization known as Mesopotamia.
If you’re looking to learn more about the moon and the various “myths”, and religions surrounding it, this is a great book to pick up!

This is another book I picked up recently and finished fairly quickly!
does a beautiful job of letting the reader into the world of what it means to be a Green Witch!
From lists of herbs and their spiritual properties, to stones, how to care for plants, and how to properly collect them in the wild—this is a great beginners guide to getting more in tune with the Earth! I will definitely be referencing back to this book and my notes in the future!
Remember to always treat the Earth and her creatures with love and respect. 💚

We’ve all been this friend a time or two I’m sure for a certain person. But when you’re like this with every one, maybe you should take a step back and reevaluate what’s important to you. Others happiness, or your own? 🖤

As some of you may know I have been on a very deep journey in healing myself from childhood, and other past traumas, lately. Part of that journey has led me to wanting to become more spiritual and in tune with the Earth.
I finished this book a week or so ago and I found it to be a really good first look into the world of magick!
What I loved the most was how the author, , let’s the reader know over and over, that what magick means is what it means to YOU. She repeats that you should do what feels right to you, while getting in touch with your ancestors, and her book is filled with so many helpful tips!
If you want a great beginners guide to crystals, colors, herbs, plants—and all their properties, this is a great one! She also offers beginners spells and potions, and how to tap into your psychic abilities.
This is definitely one author I cannot wait to get some more books from! 🖤

Reparenting your inner child is partly just taking your kids to do things that you wish you did more of when you were little.
I can’t ever really remember hanging out with my mom at the park. That’s not to say she never took me, but it wasn’t significant enough for me to remember.
As for me and my boys, we’ve made it a point to go at least once a week this summer. Watching them run around together and be free is my favorite thing ever! 💙💙

If your adult children aren’t what you expected them to be, the only person you have to look to is yourself. The way we are raised quite literally forms our brains that lead us into adulthood. If you were lacking something in childhood, and never healed, you will forever search for that in adulthood. 🖤

When your moms have been best friends for over 10 years you kinda just can’t help also being best friends! 5 years and counting for these two cuties 💙💜

These kids were the greatest things to ever happen to me. Choosing to heal myself is the greatest thing to happen to them. 💙

I’ve always been intrigued by different religions but never really felt like I belonged to any of them.
As an American of Italian descent, I was raised Roman Catholic. And while I enjoyed learning the history, I did not support most of the teachings.
The idea of just one all powerful being never quite sat right with me. The idea he had to be a man didn’t either. Certainly if he could be all powerful, there could also be powerful Gods and Goddesses like those I learned of in middle school when we loosely studied Greek and Roman mythology?
Fast forward through years of trauma, I met a person I was just drawn to. I couldn’t explain it. I wanted to be her friend and learn from her. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I felt she could teach me something.
She had suffered much like I had, but she was so much stronger than me. But something in me told me that she had found something I just hadn’t yet—but it also told me she’d be able to lead me along the way.
And so I bought my first “witchy” book on her recommendation. And she told me it’s always a good idea to look through your lineage, so I found books on Italian witchcraft.
I started this one a few days ago and just now finished it. I feel connected to a religion for the first time in my life. La Vecchia Religione—the Old Religion.
I can’t say for certain yet that I am a witch, or a Strega, but I can say that I feel more whole, more connected with the Earth, and myself—than I have in all my life. And that I am the to see where this path may lead me. 🖤

I’ve had a lot of big life changes happen recently. Some good, some not so good. So naturally, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection.
I’ve had a lot of bad happen to me, but I’ve also tolerated a lot of bad. And why? Simply because I don’t believe myself worthy of good things?
Yes. This is a thought process I developed at a young age, because of the abuse I endured. Yes, I carried this feeling with me and endured more bad things because of it.
While the abuse was not my fault—not at the age of 4, 6, 15, 21, or 28–at a certain point, my refusal for change became mine.
I am not victim blaming myself. However, at a certain point we all have to hold ourselves accountable. I could have left my abusers in adulthood a long time before I did.
I am using this newfound free time I have to thoroughly work on myself and figure out what makes me tick. I picked up this book a few days ago, that an old friend had given me over a year ago, and it was super beneficial!
A lot of it was very repetitive. A lot was information I already knew. But a lot of it was eye opening and extremely validating! I recommend it to anyone who has experienced narcissistic abuse, in childhood or adulthood. There are many great resources and tools in the book as well, and I am excited to apply them in my healing journey!
At a certain point, we tolerate what happens to us. I am fighting to rewire my brain so that that doesn’t happen to me anymore. Won’t you come join me? 🖤

Today is my birthday. I’m 31 years old. I’ve hated my birthday for as long as I can remember, and I’m finally finding out why.
When I was 4, a man in my family started to abuse me s*xually. When I was 6, he moved up to making me perform oral s*x. I’ve wanted to die ever since I knew exactly what death really meant.
My brain blocked out a lot until I had kids of my own, but my heart remembered. I acted out, I did bad things, I hurt others because I was hurting. But I was just a child, and I’m finally letting myself off the hook for the things I did as a teenager and even younger.
But because of what happened, I always carried these feelings of inadequacy with me. And it would taint my future relationships and goals.
I found bad men to love, and they hurt me more. I made bad decisions, I self-sabotaged everything that would ever be good for me, simply because I didn’t see myself as worthy of it.
Today, I am taking my life back. Today, I will no longer blame myself for what others did to me, but I am starting to hold myself accountable for the things I allow. Today, for the first year ever, I WANT to live to see my next birthday. 🖤

You deserve time to heal. 🖤

It’s my baby boys first day of second grade and I just don’t know where the time went! It seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the first time—now you’re reading chapter books, making friends, and learning all sorts of new things! I love how excited you are to learn and “be smarter” as you always say! I can’t wait to see what this year has in store for you my little June bug! 💙
💙 ❤️ 👶 💙

Life has been crazy hectic lately with a lot of big changes. But my little man got his first haircut yesterday and he did pretty well and looks so much older I could cry! 😭
✂️ 💙 💙 ❤️ 👶

Recently I started a book called The Artists Way. It’s a self help book to promote creativity and help heal blocked artists. It’s also been a great tool to use alongside my regular, and EMDR therapies that I do weekly with my psychologist.
I’ve always been a writer. But a few months ago I had a bit of an identity crisis when EMDR therapy opened up memories my brain had fought so long to forget. I didn’t know who I was anymore because everything I’d done in my life seemed to had been a result of childhood abuse.
Was I even really a writer? Or was it merely something that helped me process, or forget? Was it just a trauma response? My way to dissociate or escape? Maybe I would never have been a writer if it all didn’t happen. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a writer…
But I kept writing. And after two and a half months, I’ve filled up one whole book. None of it is good enough to share I feel. Nothing substantial or creative. But the point is I DID IT.
I filled a whole book with my thoughts, I can do another. And then another, and another, and maybe they’ll get better. Maybe they’ll get more creative. One day they’ll be an actual book.
I AM a writer, because someone else would have given up by now. I AM a writer, whether or not it has to do with the traumas I’ve suffered. I AM a writer, and if you’ve loved me or wronged me, the world will be hearing about you very soon. 🖤

We ditched the red, white, and blue yesterday for something more neutral. 🖤
I do not push my views on my children. I let them know what’s going on in the world, in the most age appropriate way for them, and let them come up with their own opinions.
Obviously mostly just the big one since the little one can’t really understand yet. What’s funny though is that Junior really does think along the same lines as me.
He believes no one should abuse their power over someone at a disadvantage to them. He believes people of every color should be respected for who they are and treated no differently. He believes women should have the right to choose when they’re ready to be a mother. He believes guns shouldn’t be as readily accessible to everyone as they are now. He believes people should be allowed to love who they want to love, and be who they want to be. 🖤
We believe in love in this house. Being yourself, and being “Younique”, as Junior’s shirt says. We believe in treating others with respect, and using our powers for good. We believe in the benefits of both modern AND plant medicine. We believe in having fun, and rocking out! 💙💙

Happy BBQ Day! 💚
Had a conversation yesterday with my 7 year old about why we celebrate the 4th of July. We talked loosely about the colonies severing ties from England and getting their freedom.
We talked loosely about the definition of independence and freedom, and what those words really mean.
And then we talked loosely about the world today. I brought up our past discussions on BLM, on the recent school shootings in Texas, and the overturn of Roe vs Wade. I told him the government was trying to take away a woman’s right to choose whether or not she wanted to be a mother. He said that was “stupid”.
I asked him if he felt like this country seemed so free to everyone who lives in it after all, to which he said no! I asked him if we should celebrate something like that, and he said no.
I asked him what he liked about the 4th of July, and he said the hot dogs and fireworks. I told him that was my favorite part too. I asked him if we should still celebrate and just call it fireworks and BBQ day, and he loved the idea!
So happy BBQ/Fireworks day, from my little family to yours 🖤

Another river day this morning in the books! 💙💚💙
I had Covid two weeks ago and then Junior was feeling sick all last week, so we all needed this day out! Because of my CPTSD I don’t like to be alone, even with the kids. They are often the biggest triggers of my trauma, and I usually invite friends to come with us so that I don’t get triggered.
But today was just us, and we had a blast! Junior is getting so much more comfortable in the water and Damian is becoming such a little explorer! I had so much fun with them today.
Healing isn’t always good days but when you get a good day, recognize it and take advantage of it! 🖤

Something to remind myself, and others 🖤