HIGH HOPES

No significance to the day or date, it's just been a minute and a day since I posted on here and I apologize for that. I said I would use this to update people on Tara's status, mostly for the people who don't get to see or talk to her that often.

It has been over a year and a half since Tara's operation, hard to believe. A lot has happened since then and since there was last a post on here.

We are adjusting to our 'new normal' but still learn new things every day and face different challenges as well. On the whole, things are all-around better since they were a time ago. We have not only learned a lot about ourselves, and about our support system, for better or worse.

The last few months have seen Tara open another chapter of her recovery and her life overall. With physical therapy from the Spaulding satellite in Framingham, Tara has graduated, if you will, to a new gym in Canton, and it has made a world of difference. Physical therapy before consisted of mostly upper-body exercises and some core work... nothing involving her legs.

The gym in Canton, called Journey Forward, specializes in spinal cord injuries. The owner and founder, who broke his neck when he was a teen, is now able to walk with the assistance of a walker and is always in there working out when we go. So there is hope for people who lose feeling in their legs. Just about everyone there has some sort of nerve damage or is confined to a wheelchair. However, unlike Spaulding, this place is very aggressive when it comes to working out and treatment. There is more of an onus on working Tara's legs, which is good.

The physical therapists here are awesome at what they do and are very motivational. Tara has been a total of 15 times I believe, going every Tuesday and Thursday for two hours each day. She does everything from weight training, to balance training, to core work as well as leg work and electronic stimulation. At the end of the day, they work her hard, which is good. She has a standing frame at home which she uses a couple times of week. She used to only be able to handle this for minutes at a time because of her fluctuating blood pressure. Now, she can do the standing frame for hours on end as her endurance has improved immensely. Her upper body is as strong as ever, which helps with transfer and just everyday activity. Perhaps most importantly, this gym has given Tara hope and has improved her mental well being, which is something you cannot measure. The only downside to this Journey Forward place is that it is a non-profit and not covered by insurance (we have also learned a lot about our healthcare system during this process, and not all of it good).

Tara went to just about all of Tyler's basketball games over the winter and has done her best to get to all of his high school lacrosse matches -- missing only one because it was sleeting and it was a night game in Stoughton. She is doing a lot of the things she used to before being wheelchair-bound, which is good for the whole family. She is looking forward to going to take prom pictures for Tyler next week and going to Endicott for Sophie's final chorus performance this semester. She is also back to working part time (MWF) at Meditech, which allows her to continue working at home.

It has taken a while to get to this point and we could not have done it without the help of a lot of people. They say it takes a village, and those in our village know who they are. Special thanks to Tara's mother and family and as well as my parents and family, and additional thanks to our inner circle and to Tara's work friends, who have been there for her at every turn.

It has taken a while to post this because it seems like there is too much going on with the Class of 2025, and not much of it good over the last year plus. We still constantly think of our friends who have lost loved ones during this time. We've found that the past 18 months has also included a grieving period, if you will, and we can empathize to what some of these families have been going through. These people will never be forgotten.

Thank you for taking the time out to read this and keep in your thoughts and prayers, the aforementioned families who have been dragged through hell during the same time period. Tara may not be able to walk, now, or ever again, but we are all thankful just the same that she was able to make it through the surgery to fix what was ailing her in the first place.

We appreciate you all.

So it's been forever and a day since I have updated this page. May and June were admittedly pretty melancholy months and I did not feel right spreading 'good' news when three families we know were, and still are, going through grieving periods. This post does not mean we have forgotten or moved on as we hold the Gaspars, the Gates and the Patete families close to our hearts as they still grapple with the loss of 16-year olds, all within a few weeks of each other. They will never be forgotten.

But this is a page meant to provide updates on Tara's status, especially for friends and extended family who do not live close by, so it would be a disservice not to provide some sort of update.

For the record, it has been over 9 months since Tara underwent her operation. It seems like forever, mostly because I don't have to drive into Boston daily, thankfully, but on the other hand it seems like yesterday. It has also been a little over 7 months since Tara has been home. While we are still adjusting to our 'new normal' as the doctors like to call it, Tara has reached a few milestones along the way, one of them being today, and the reason for this post.

Since providing an update in May, Tara has graduated from the 'wound clinic' and no longer has to go to her doctor for biweekly checkups on the aforementioned wounds that most people have to deal with when sitting in a wheelchair for an extended period of time. Tara has also graduated from Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy for the time being. The therapists recommend she need not travel to Spaulding in Framingham for her appointments, rather just practice home care for a couple of months.

Physical therapy to this point has been focused 99 percent on upper body. Tara is so much stronger in her arms and shoulders now than she was when she was originally discharged, so much so that she can get herself out of bed and into her chair in the morning with no problem and get out of tight spots with her chair, when before she would need a push. It might not seem like much, but the therapists definitely helped her get stronger. She also worked on a standing frame, which had her in an upright position so that her organs could get a break from being scrunched up and so that her cardiovascular system could get used to being standing up. This is crucial if Tara is going to ever walk again as your body needs to adjust in blood pressure and heart rate. When she first started, 10 minutes was probably the max before her vitals got wonky and she felt light-headed, but she is well beyond the 30 minute mark now. We are working with our insurance company to get a standing frame for the house. More apparatus in the house isn't the greatest, but it is what it is and getting Tara better is all that matters.

In between all the doctors appointments and therapy sessions, we have seen plenty of signs of the Tara of old. Her spirits haven't wavered since being diagnosed with her paralysis. She still does her best to help out around the house with cooking and cleaning, but it is much more of a team effort now. When she is not doing her home exercises, she is reading or trying to beat Sophie and I at JEOPARDY! just like we had done before she went to the hospital.

Life also continues on for the kids as Tyler had a couple of lacrosse tournaments in Philadelphia and Sophie has been working as many hours as she can while holding a remote internship. Tyler is also in the midst of working on his license.

Just this past weekend Sophie and Tara went to the movies at Patriot Place, so nothing is stopping Tara from doing the things that she did before. Sophie has been a huge help in being able to transfer Tara from her chair to the car and so on.

Probably the first taste of normalcy Tara had was during the spring when she got to watch Tyler play lacrosse while hanging out with the lacrosse moms. She has also had a boatload of visitors, from work friends, to college friends, to forever friends, to parent friends as well as cousins aunts and uncles. Her mom and my parents have also been a constant presence and helped in her recovery.

The next chapter will be to see if Tara can get any feeling in her legs. While the swelling is gone and the doctors have said that her arteries affected by the surgery have recovered well beyond expected, even the area that resulted in her paralysis, we remain cautiously optimistic that moving on to some intense leg work at a facility called Journey Forward could beneficial. Journey Forward is not covered by insurance, however, so we appreciate all who have contributed to our GoFundMe account, which has allowed us to make renovations to the house to make it wheelchair friendly and also helped us meet our financial obligations as I have yet to return to work and Tara, when she does return to work later in the year, will be part time. Then again, Journey Forward does not accept just anyone, that is why it was key that Tara get used to being upright and strengthened her upper body and cardiovascular system.

The summer has been a lot of work but it has also seen Tara attend a graduation party, cookouts, a girls' night with the Davis Thayer crew and a trip to a brewery with some Meditech friends. Hopefully more good times are on the horizon, though there is still more work to be done. Tara meets with her doctor Thursday and we will take it from there.

In the meantime, we can't express enough thanks to everyone who has helped us with meals and gift cards and well-wishes and evening convincing the town that we needed a handicap spot in front of our house. The person responsible for that is not on Facebook, but he has contributed mightily every step of the way. Again, thank you to everyone for taking the time to read. I'm sorry it took this long to provide an update; the next update will hopefully not be preceded by such a long gap.

I've included a few pictures, one of Tara on her final day at the Spaulding facility in her standing apparatus, while the rest are of happy times spent with friends.... and all apologies to the friends who have visited and aren't pictured... we love you all equally.

Thank you again for your continued support and for following.

Hard to 'celebrate' any milestones or progress at this time when an entire community is in mourning, so we'll save it for another update. An inspiration to everyone he met, and especially Tara in her recovery, Nick Gaspar, at just 16, recently passed away after a lengthy battle with cancer. We knew Nick from being a friend and teammate (lacrosse/basketball) of Tyler, but he was so much more than that to so many people. It's safe to say that an entire town rallied around Nick, and he will be missed by many.... but never, ever forgotten.
Our sincerest of condolences to immediate family members, relatives, neighbors and all the friends who were in Nick's corner. We will all remember Nick for his smile and his positive attitude and his spirit lives on in the so many people he came in touch with.

It's been a good two months since posting on Tara's status. There have been more downs than ups and plenty of paperwork and red tape to wade through to make sure things were being done by the book.

I will post more about Tara in the coming days, but, again, we hope that everyone that follows this page can channel their positive thoughts, strength, energy and most importantly, love, in the direction of Nick Gaspar, his family and everyone in his inner circle. Stay strong!.

Only because people have been asking about this, though they can't go... Will post later or tomorrow about Tara. Thanks.

My dad's car group has been nothing short of amazing in helping us. The fact that they are holding a fundraiser to help us and another family is humbling. It'd be cool to see some people go, but if you're interested in donated you can always visit our gofundme.com page.... we will split any gofundme.com proceeds with Joe Spinello..... Thanks all for the love and support. Hope to have an update on Tara y week's end.

This is going to be an amazing event. The Elm draught house is a great venue and we’re raising money for some great people.
Let’s fill the street with Hot rods and custom cars! For those who reserved tickets via Jason Fortin thank you! We will have some available at the door but can’t guarantee. Venue has a 250 people limit. Some great prizes donated during the raffle! $20 cash donation to enter. A very iconic American car movie on the big screen will be playing. Venue is CASH ONLY! Beer / wine available at the venue. 2pm April 22nd Elm Draught House Millbury.

...a couple months later...

I know I've been told not to apologize for not posting, but the purpose of this page is to keep everyone in the loop about Tara's progress. I would love to say that a lot has changed since the last post (in December), when we were just happy and fortunate to have Tara home for the holidays, but she is still in the beginning stages of her comeback, if you will. Don't get me wrong, she has made great strides in a lot of areas in that all of her stitches and wounds associated with the surgery itself have healed and the number of medications she has to be on has lessened. Her heart is as healthy as ever and the aortic portion of her operation was definitely a success. Her swelling has gone down in all areas. But there is still a long way to go.

January, unfortunately, was a lost month... if you know, you know. Everyone in the house was sick, and not just sniffles. Sophie had a grab bag of ailments, including strep throat; Tara had a nasty chest cold and the fact that it was hard for her to be vertical made it a long ordeal (her nurse called 911 as a precaution because her oxygen level was low, but the EMT, who said he was more than willing to do his job and take Tara to Milford Hospital, also said she was better off home instead of being exposed to other germs in a hospital setting); Tyler had the flu and I hit the trifecta and had to be hospitalized for two days with a combo of flu, RSV and pneumonia. Thankfully we are all much better now, but it was a trying stretch and set Tara's physical therapy rehab back.

There have been other challenges as well, such as making the house wheelchair friendly, revamping the bathroom and shower, finally switching out of a hospital bed and getting the wrong equipment. Tara's out-patient therapists were nice people and meant well, but didn't help in her progress much. She maybe did a few rubber band exercises to strengthen her arms but that was about the extent of it. Her out-patient nurse, however, was outstanding and went above and beyond to help.

February brought a fresh start for Tara. Her first out-patient physical therapy appointment was on a Monday, and on Feb. 6, her birthday, so a true new beginning. It has been a few weeks and she has learned techniques to be more independent and new exercises to strengthen her arms and overall upper body. People have asked about her legs and working those muscles. While she does do certain exercises to keep the blood flowing and to minimize the swelling, the concentration right now is her upper body. Any paralysis recovery is going to be way down the road and will only come with hard work and more help from doctors. Her new out-patient doctor, who is based out of Spaulding in Charlestown, is very thorough and accommodating and perhaps most importantly, honest. He said he didn't believe in giving people false hopes. He said the chances of Tara walking again didn't look very good and the chances of her walking the way she did prior to the surgery were even more grim. But he said he had seen some incredible recoveries in his time and he hoped Tara would be added to that list, that he would do everything he could to help..

Physical therapy is only two days a week for Tara, for 45 minutes... and we've agreed that a schedule like that is going to lengthen her recovery time. Once her upper body and cardio is up to speed, there are other options and we hope to be more aggressive in getting her back on her feet. Even her therapist now agreed that it was too soon to think about walking, that she has to get her strength back.

Aside from getting to watch Jersey Shore and other horrible TV, Tara has made the most of her time at home. Graduating from a hospital bed to a sleep-number bed was a big step, for her and for Dexter. She is constantly doing stretching, reading and doing light weight work when possible. We have a morning routine and getting in and out of the car has gotten a little easier. February was a success compared to January, and hopefully we can build on that momentum.

Tara has also had her share of visitors, family and friends and she says she can't wait to get out to once the high school lacrosse season starts. If you want to pay a visit, feel free, just call or text Tara to coordinate first.

The outpouring of support from friends, family and the community in general has been humbling. We now have the world's largest collection of disposable Tupperware thanks to all the meals that have been dropped off. People respond to adversity in different ways and for every one or two people who slink into the bushes like the Homer Simpson meme, there are a hundred people willing to step up, help and offer words of encouragement. I don't think we will be able to fully express our gratitude for the people who have supported us, from rides to cards to texts to visits to flowers... etc. It may have a tragic underlying, but Tara's situation has really brought out the best in so many people.

Major thanks go out to our families as we haven't done a load of laundry since November.... Tara's sisters were both heroic in their visits, especially Gina, who dropped everything and came to Mass. while I was in the hospital. Sophie, who was home for break, also stepped up when she was needed most. She was asked to do and saw a lot of things that most teens never fathom, but she was a rock and her actions will never be forgotten .... did we mention she made the Dean's List first semester, too?

If you didn't get mentioned by name, you all know who you are that have helped us through this one way or another. Your sentiments and actions will also never be forgotten.

As the calendar turns to March, I hope to have more positive news to report and I hope to be more vigilant in updates. Again, thank you to EVERYONE who has helped us.

As you continue to support Tara, please, if you will, keep in your thoughts and prayers the Gaspar family, who are fighting their own battle as their teenage son Nick continues to tackle cancer. Their family has had our backs throughout and we will continue to have theirs.... as the saying goes, no one fights alone.

Hopefully there is good news to report on both fronts moving forward.... until then peace, love and thanks too all!

Just been laying low and spending time with family the last few days, thanks to all for the welcome back messages and, more importantly, thanks to everyone who made this Christmas possible. People's prayers, well-wishes and actions during the past two months will never be forgotten. Hope everyone had a good Christmas.

one word: HOME

12/21....It's been a few days and Tara will be home in even fewer... and yes, this page was designed to update everyone on her progress and her world. But Springsteen has a song called 'We Take Care of Our Own' and it is hard to post anything celebratory right now knowing that friends of ours are hurting. One of the first things Tara mentioned to me when I visited her yesterday day was 'did I read about Nick'..... Nick being the aforementioned young man whom the town has rallied around as he continues his battle with cancer. He had been unresponsive in the ICU at Boston Children's Hospital the night before, possibly from an adverse reaction to flu medication.

I will post later about Tara's week and what is on the horizon, but we're hoping you can channel your positive thoughts and prayers right now for Nick.

Today, Dec. 15, was one of the days we had circled on the calendar as a possible discharge date, but alas Tara will be staying at Spaulding for one more week and should be home by Dec. 22, the same day Sophie comes home for her winter break.

Not much to report other than that the continued support and generosity from friends, relatives and even the anonymous of the world has been overwhelming and hopefully someday we can pay it forward.

Tara has continued to do rehab to improve her stamina, upper-body strength and wheelchair skills. I had to do a few training sessions with her so that I can be of some assistance once she gets home. We are making adjustments and renovations to the house so that Tara can feel right at home once she gets here.

After having her appointment with her surgeon cancelled last week, he found the time Friday evening after surgery to speak with him via Zoom. Not an easy meeting to say the least. Finding blame or fault at this point is unproductive but finding some answers as to why and getting some sort of explanation did shed a little light on the logistics of Tara's paralysis.... but still a lot of things yet to be determined and some unknowns. The biggest takeaways were that Tara would have died sooner rather than later without the operation, we all pretty much know this by now. The lack of feeling in her legs and paralysis is pretty complicated and there are still questions, but the surgeon pointed to Tara's original aneurysm surgery in 2019, where she evidently lost several arteries from her aorta to her spine. But, because that operation was 'small' in comparison to the most recent, blood vessels from below the surgically repaired area were able to compensate and turned out to be a good enough source of oxygen for her spine to function normally. Long story short, this time around, with even more of the aorta being replaced and more arteries needing to be detached, these same blood vessels did not and, as it stands now, cannot supply the affected area of the spine with enough oxygen to operate properly. Still a lot of hows, whys and what's nexts, but we'll have more time to digest everything and reevaluate once Tara starts the next phase of her rehab....

As always, thanks to everyone for checking in :)

12/7 UPDATE: It's been a while and a lot has happened since. Tara was surprised by her sisters, Tyler celebrated his 16th birthday at Spaulding and the four of us got to spend some of Thanksgiving at Spaulding as well... not going to sugar coat it as it hasn't all been smooth sailing. A lot of paperwork falling through the cracks, miscommunications between Mass. General and Spaulding and Tara's surgeon cancelling a follow-up appointment the day before she was supposed to visit him.
The long and short of it, Tara is set to be discharged next week, on the 15th.
In the meantime we are preparing the house to be wheelchair accessible and help Tara be as comfortable as possible.

Instead of weighing on the negatives, we'll accentuate the positives, like the four of us being able to spend Thanksgiving evening together as a family and bringing her some dessert. The next few days saw Tyler be able to spend his 16th birthday with his mom and then Lisa flew out from Reno and Gina came up from Long Island to surprise her. Both of them spent several hours with Tara over the course of the week, which was good for everyone's spirits.

The physical therapists and occupational therapists have been working Tara hard, but they have been phenomenal.... zero complaints with them. They have been hard working, encouraging and compassionate beyond believe - Gina, Ashley and Natalie we can't thank you enough. In preparation for Tara coming home I have been going to a few PT and OT sessions with her so I can help her when she's here. Having just had a major heart operation and 75 staples removed, I am in awe of the effort Tara puts into her rehabilitation. I am not surprised as she has never done anything half-assed.... well, just about anything. I thought cranking out two decent-sized kids was awe-inspiring, but the fight and determination she shows just to get from a chair to a bed is incredible. 'Find Your Strength' is the MO at Spaulding's gym and Tara has definitely reached down deep to find hers.

The support from all of our friends and family has been unrivaled and we will try, but undoubtedly never, be able to fully repay and thank everyone for being there. I know there are a lot of unreturned texts on Tara's end, but please don't take offense. After hours of PT and OT she has been spent and needs to decompress, and she's usually asleep by 8:30.... But know that she appreciates each and every voicemail and text.

Today was an emotional day for Tara and she expressed her longing to come home and just curl up on the couch and watch mindless Christmas specials as a family. That said, there will be a time for visitors and catching up, but she just wants to soak up being home for a while and get used to her new reality.

Her swelling inexplicably still there and has not been explained, thus the previous complaint about communication. We still have our fingers crossed that once the swelling is completely gone she might have an easier road to recovery. Once she leaves Spaulding she will have home care a few days a week I believe, then she will be resuming Spaulding treatment at the Framingham facility.

Here are a few pictures from the past 7-10 days, from Tara giving Tyler and her mom a tour of the gym to the three Polselli gals.

Thanks again to everyone for your offers of help and keeping in touch with me to keep me grounded. I would otherwise be curled up in a ball somewhere. Tyler, as well, should be commended for being mature beyond his years in understanding the gravity of the situation. At his physical last week, we talked to his primary doctor about the situation at home and he was asked if he had an feelings about what was happening and his response was perfect: "I love my mother and I believe in her."...

The next update, barring any other last-minute updates, should be of Tara coming home, but we'll keep you posted.

Thanks again. We love and appreciate you all.

Some great friends surprised Tara with a special guest during today's visit... Thanksgiving turkey came early.

11/22: Well, it's been a while since I last posted and I have to remember not to apologize despite my wanting to.
Last we left it Tara was just getting settled in at Spaulding. Since then she has had some rigorous physical therapy and occupational therapy. In between, she has had her spirits boosted by several visitors. She is humbled by the amount of cards, get-wells, texts, calls, messages, flowers, donations and etc. The whole family is, and we will never adequately be able to thank everyone enough.
I believe since she checked into Spaulding she has lost like 14 pounds of fluid, which has her swelling slowly going down. Still a little ways to go there. And until the swelling is completely gone she can't do much leg therapy. She is able to use a special machine that allows her to be upright and take assisted steps, but she is a long way from walking, and she still has no feeling aside from pins and needles from the waist down.

The next step for her is to become functional and independent in a wheelchair. She will most certainly come home in a wheelchair because she won't need round-the-clock attention and won't be needed to be treated as an inpatient, rather she will do rehab as an outpatient. In other words, there is a light at the end of the tunnel as far as her coming home. It's looking like mid-December. It's a moving target that could change, but she'll finally be able to be home and get to return to some sort of normalcy, like snuggling with Dexter and eating rice pudding while getting schooled by me at JEOPARDY!...

Anything can change between now and then. She continues to get stronger and her spirits are great. With the release of Springsteen's new album 'Only the Strong Survive' it seems appropriate that I change the name of the page. We obviously all still have high hopes for Tara, but are grateful she made it through the original operation. Now it's up to hard work and strength to get us across the finish line.

Thank you all again for your love and support!!!

It's been a little less than three weeks since surgery and a little less than a week since Tara took up residency at Spaulding Rehab in Boston (Charlestown). Her room has better views of Boston Harbor, Logan in the distance and the Tobin, but the best view was the included picture as this was the first time the kids had been able to see their mom since surgery... You're only allowed two visitors but the three of us got in and out of there with no problem. She has had a handful of visitors since making it to Spaulding, which is no doubt helping the time go by quicker for her. Another thing that is helping her time go by quicker is the fact that she has a pretty strict daily regiment of rehab, broken down into hour blocks. so far all of her rehab PT and OT has been upper body and core work, but she has lost a significant amount of fluid in her legs, which means they will try to start some leg exercises soon.
Our mantra lately has been that every day spent at Spaulding means one day closer to coming home.
Tara is getting stronger each day, is in good spirits and is driven to put this chapter of her life behind her and get back home.
Thanks to all who have visited or reached out to her. If you would like to visit, please check in with her because her schedule changes daily and is only available certain hours.

Also, thanks to EVERYONE who has contributed to the gofundme page. As I mentioned, whatever monies we can't or don't use will be donated to Mass. General and/or American Heart Association. The thoughts, prayers and well-wishes have carried us this far and we, as a family, will forever be grateful and will pay it forward the best we can. Thanks, too, to everyone who has helped with rides and meals and everything else. Those who have maintained that I am holding down the fort while Tara is away have no idea how much help I've gotten, and I am truly humbled.
Thanks again to everyone. Will be headed in to see Tara later today. Blessings to you all.

(Tyler wanted to be 'that guy' for the picture, so we'll let him be immortalized as 'that guy'... live and learn, bud)