Just Allow Now

The School of Life is a website that creates helpful content deriving ideas from psychology, psychotherapy, philosophy, art and culture.

In this blog I wanted to share just a small handful of videos you may find helpful on a selection of topics that assist us to better understand ourselves and others.

A helping hand from The School of Life | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

Richard Erskine, a prominent psychotherapist, identified eight relational needs that are fundamental to human well-being and psychological health.

Our need to be loved is fulfilled within our relationships when all eight of the other needs are satisfied, at least some of time.

I’ve written about these eight relationships needs over on my blog.

Feeling loved: The Eight Relational Needs | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

This year I am working towards completing a diploma in couples’ counselling to begin to offer relationship therapy to couples seeking support when life has distracted them from their connection.

I will soon be working with couples to assist them in re-establishing their connection to each other and improve their communication and understanding of one another.

Therapy theory is a part of what assists me in supporting my clients, and what can help each client to make sense of their experience. Theory alone wouldn’t be enough for counselling to work though; it is the theory combined with the relationship we build together which so often facilities the change each client is searching for. I've written about how I choose to work relationally and collaboratively with my clients over on my blog.

What it means to work as a relational and collaborative counsellor | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

I regularly get asked the question “What is the difference between counselling and therapy?”. So I decided it might be helpful to write about the similarities and differences on my blog at justallownow.com

"From the beginning of our first few sessions, Phil has helped me to feel heard and understood. He created a safe space where I could freely share my thoughts and emotions, without fear of feeling judged. I feel that he listened to, and helped me explore, my concerns and anxieties with genuine empathy and understanding."

In Gestalt therapy theory, “contacting patterns” refer to the habitual and often persistent ways we are in contact with and interact with ourselves, others, and our environment.

You can read about the challenges we can face when these patterns become fixed on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: CONTACTING PATTERNS | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

I’m currently planning on increasing the amount of daytime in-person sessions I am able to offer to clients at my counselling space based in the Himley/Sedgley area.

If you, or someone you know, is considering seeking support to help move forward in life away from cycles that are no longer working you can get in touch via my website justallownow.com

Shame and guilt are both powerful emotions. They can often feel similar, so understanding their differences is important as it can help soothe self-judgements and destructive negative thoughts.

I’ve written more about shame and guilt over on my blog.

I feel bad!: SHAME vs GUILT | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

Unfinished business refers to our unresolved emotions, thoughts, or conflicts from our past, often related to traumatic or difficult circumstances and experiences, which then continue to impact our behaviours and experiences in the present.

You can read about the theory of unfinished business on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: UNFINISHED BUSINESS | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

The Drama Triangle shows how we can adopt dysfunctional roles to deal with conflict. The need to be viewed as "right" or "approved" in our own minds or in the minds of others underlies the behaviour.

Read more about how considering your role in the Drama Triangle and adopting the Winner Triangle's behaviours could benefit you over on my blog.

Power games!: THE DRAMA TRIANGLE | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

"I was struggling with overwhelming self-doubt that was holding me back in all aspects of my life. Throughout our sessions, Phil guided me through my thoughts and emotions. I started to develop a stronger sense of self and began to believe in my abilities again."

Enmeshment describes unhealthy patterns of relationships with weak boundaries between a group of people. Individual identities and autonomy may become dominated by the collective needs and emotions of the group.

Read more about enmeshment and its influence on us over on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: ENMESHMENT | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

I’ve recently moved to a new location for my in person sessions.

My new counselling cabin is located next to quiet woodlands, has on site parking, and is wheelchair accessible.

A good way to describe my approach to counselling and therapy is ‘collaborative’.

One of my aims for sessions with each client is to ensure you don’t feel like you are trying to make sense of your experiences, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours on your own.

A large part of most talking therapies is active listening, on top of that I want each client to feel someone is proactively exploring alongside them. With the goal of offering possible insights which may be difficult to unearth on your own.

Transference and counter-transference are important concepts in psychology, particularly in the context of psychotherapy and the therapeutic relationship between a therapist and a client.

Read more about how you can benefit from working with a counsellor who uses transference to inform their therapeutic work with you over on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: TRANSFERENCE | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

"I am really pleased with the progress I've made with Phil's support. I feel more confident and equipped to handle life's ups and downs. The positive changes I've experienced have not only benefited me but also positively impacted my relationships and overall well-being."

The paradoxical theory of change, also known as the "Be Different" theory of change, is a concept in psychotherapy that suggests change often occurs when individuals fully accept and embrace themselves as they are, rather than when we try and force change.

Read more about the Paradoxical Theory of Change over on my blog.

I want to change!: THE PARADOXICAL THEORY OF CHANGE | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

I work as a registered relational humanistic integrative counsellor; this means that I draw on various complementary therapy modalities to offer to my clients rather than a single counselling approach.

The main integrated counselling modalities and therapy theory I use to inform my work with clients are Gestalt, Psychodynamic, and Person-centred. Working relationally means emphasising the importance of the therapeutic relationship between me and my clients in the counseling process.

But what does all that mean? I explain more about what therapist modalities are and what then mean for you and your counselling experience on my site justallownow.com

Attachment styles refer to patterns of emotional and behavioural responses that we develop in relationships, particularly during early childhood with our primary caregivers. These attachment styles are formed based on the quality of care and responsiveness we receive from our caregivers during critical developmental stages.

Having awareness of our attachment styles can help us to better understand our, thought patterns, feelings, interactions and responses with others. This awareness can then allow us to make different choices about how we want to behave and respond to others.

You can read more about attachment styles on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: ATTACHMENT STYLES | Information to help you better understand yourself and the world of couselling. On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

It's very important to me that everyone finds the right help for them. Support that feels like the right personal fit for you, with a counsellor you feel you can build a strong therapeutic relationship with.

With that in mind I offer a free introductory video call so that you can ask me questions to help you make an informed decision on who to choose as your counsellor.

Incongruence is one of the main reasons many of us seek out counselling and support. The terms congruence and incongruence are widely used within the therapy world, but what do they actually mean and how do they apply to us as individuals going about our lives?

Find out more over on my blog.

Understanding therapy jargon: CONGRUENCE On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

One of the ways I’ll be using this page is to share counselling tools and bust some therapy jargon. To help those who are looking to start their own counselling journey and maybe want to understand some more about the theory which underpins some of the various counselling modalities.

First up is a very simple, but very useful tool, called The Feelings Wheel.

The Feelings Wheel, sometimes known as the emotion wheel, or feelings chart, is a visual tool that helps us to better understand and articulate our emotions. It's especially useful when we can feel disconnected to ourselves and struggling to pinpoint how we are feeling.

Head to my blog at justallownow.com to read more and see a diagram of The Feelings Wheel itself.

Learning the nuance of emotions: The Feelings Wheel On my blog I share more about counselling theory and offer therapy tools to assist you on your therapy journey.

My newly rebranded website is now live! Head to https://justallownow.com to take a look.

I'm Phil (he/him), a qualified and registered male counsellor offering in-person therapy and support local to Wolverhampton, Dudley, South Staffordshire and surrounding areas. I also offer online video sessions in these areas as well as throughout U.K.

Hello there! This is my new page for my newly rebranded counselling and therapy services.

My updated website will be launching next month, and I’ll be using this account to share about my services and other helpful info about therapy theory.