Dear Meg

✨Went to UP Los Baños today to talk about the Pagdadala model, and the importance of language in promoting a culture of collective care!

Thank you so much to the Department of Humanities for inviting me and UP College of Mass Communications Prof. Danny Arao (who spoke on Wika at Sensura)! Thank you also to Chancellor Jose Camacho for coming, and to the students for listening and for the wonderful questions. 💗

Dear readers,

The sender is in distress, and we want to encourage help-seeking behavior. Please don’t forget to be kind if you’re leaving a comment.

Other suggestions about saving up (except those that involve perpetuating the capitalist system) are also more than welcome.

I edited their letter for brevity.

Thank you!

Meg

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Dear Meg,

I would like to share a personal distress that has been bothering me for the past few years.

I am a working student enrolled at a prestigious university. I am surrounded by rich blockmates, who have regaled me with stories of indulgences that I know only the affluent can afford, and with whom I enjoyed rare and lavish opportunities.

I come from a middle-class family. I can’t say we are poor, but we are also definitely not rich. I am extremely grateful for my parents and their efforts to provide me and my two siblings education and a home, but sometimes, I feel financially insecure.

I can’t help but feel pressured to adopt the lifestyle of my friends. At first, it was just buying clothes and makeup at mid-range stores to be able to look like them, to prove that I belong. But later on, I found myself purchasing products at high-end stores, going on trips, and going to expensive restaurants, even with my bank account hanging by a thread.

Worse is the the lengths I’d go to earn money. Every day I am faced with the challenge of eating one meal for the whole day or not at all, so I can buy the next product on my wishlist. I am forced to think of ways to planning my expenses so I may feel validated and remain part of my friend group. But I’ve also noticed that even without their validation, I find myself veering towards an expensive lifestyle. So maybe I really am the problem. My parents are not imposing financial responsibilities on me at the moment, but when that time comes, I wonder how I’ll be able to give up on this kind of life I’ve gotten used to.

The other part of me wants to end all of this chase of the lifestyle I so desperately want. I may have to sever ties with my friends and let them know of this burden I’ve been carrying, which is something I am so ashamed of sharing because I would never want them to adjust their lifestyles for me, and I don’t want to be pitied.

I am tired of being financially insecure. I am tired of having to starve myself just to earn extra money.

Please, Meg, I would really like your advice. How do I accept the lifestyle I have and face the reality that I am not rich?

Thank you, Meg. Your words mean a lot to all of us.

Best,
Z

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Dear Z,

Thank you so much for writing, and for sharing your troubles with me. I appreciate the honesty and openness.

I want to say, first and foremost, that I understand what you’re going through, and I hold no judgment. I think it’s very human, to desire for nice things in life, and to be liked and accepted by people we call friends. We all have a need to belong.

I could offer quick tips around finances, such as for you to be on a strict budget, and to eliminate the conditions that make you spend. I respect not wanting to be pitied, so I think you can tell your friends you love their company, but that you can meet up every so often, because you’re saving up. You can also explore removing store apps on your phone, and committing to buying only preloved.

But clearly there are deeper issues here, and I believe you will make better progress if we strike at what looks like the heart of your struggle.

Z, there is no shame in having less in life. It’s purely arbitrary, if we think about it, that someone is born poor, in one sense (in another sense, of course it’s by this economic order’s design that one class lives off another’s hard work). What I meant to say is, perhaps let’s begin with a wholehearted acceptance of yourself as worthy of being loved as a friend, despite your circumstances.

You are not your purchases, you are not the things you can buy. You are your values, and what to choose to do each day based on these values. You are your dreams for yourself and for your community, and the courage you muster to fight for them. If you believe in this, I think you’d be less ashamed of your situation, even in having your friends adjust to your it. Instead, you will trust that whoever wants to be around your smart and kind and fun-loving self will also want to meet you halfway.

I think such a perspective will also urge you to, as a matter of principle, reclaim control of your life. I say this because in your letter, several phrases betray a feeling of helplessness about your situation. (I find myself…, I am faced with the challenge…, I am forced to...”). Yes, most of our struggles under this System are based on something deeply entrenched. But precisely because it’s not our fault to be poor, we will refuse to be defined by its parameters, and be resolute about our own.

I urge you to reflect on the all-important question: What kind of a human being would you like to become?

Ultimately, we want to be accepted for who we are, and to be surrounded by the people who share our values. Otherwise, some rethinking of our present bonds should be in order.

I’m not saying your rich friends cannot be your lifelong ones, who may be perfectly decent and wonderful people worth keeping. I’m saying there’s a way to decisively turn your friendship around and anchor it on something more meaningful and lasting, instead of on experiences defined by your household income. Here is an opportunity to unlearn unsustainable habits, and envision an alternative culture of friendship with people who embody the person you want to be.

When you spend time with them, do you ask them about the brands of their clothes, or any expensive thing they just spent on? Or do you do the same validation of their expensive choices?

I think you can start changing the course of your conversations by initiating these topics: how are they getting on at their jobs? How is their relationship with family? What can you do together for the community?

From there you can transition to discussing your goals, the challenges you’re facing, and how you can be there for each other. You can be creative about these meetups so that you don’t spend much, but still have fun. You can plan picnics, home cook-offs, or film/book clubs. You can hold sessions where you share your skills – sketching, repairing things, carpentry, etc. – with each other. Or you can do errands together. The key is to normalize these activities within your friend groups, and help build a relationship where people will feel welcome, no matter their economic situation.

I want to fully reassure you that you have what it takes to change the course of your life from hereon. By deciding on your values, and picking the right people to surround yourself with, you can become the person you want to be. As an adage goes, “We borrow our good side from friends.”

Thank you again, Z, and I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

🤍
Meg

Custom artwork by the most talented Kenikenken 🎨

✨✨✨Thank you so so so much to everyone who came through last night, and to Cindy Aquino for having us! That was a lovely conversation with Angela Camacho, Carl Cervantes, and Dr. Diego Maranan - learned a lot of new things!

Will also never get over being approached afterwards by readers who share how much the page has helped them. Always touches my soul to the core. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. 🤍

The At the End of the Day exhibit is on at the NO Community-Run Space until the 18th! Congratulations, Cindy!

✨From last weekend's workshop on Collective Care with campus journalists of the College Editors Guild of the Philippines, some of the answers* to the question: "Ano ang nakapagpapagaan ng inyong dinadala?" (What lightens your load?).

I support having "masarap na pagkain sa mga pulong," always!

Cook for (or send some food to) your fave journalist friends today!🍦🍨🤍

(Meg's note: I edited the letter for brevity.)

Hi Meg,

I hope your day is going well.

I've been a longtime follower and decided to reach out for advice on trust, betrayal, and relationships. Overthinking and constant anxiety are consuming me.

I've been with my partner for about eight months. I love her deeply, and I really see her as someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, I struggle to trust her.

Admittedly, traumas fuel some of my overthinking, making it challenging to discern baseless thoughts from valid concerns. Small lies she's told raise doubts about more significant matters. I've tried discussing this with her, but she insists she's not lying.

I must admit, I sometimes say hurtful things in frustration, and I deeply and sincerely regret it. And I know that my thoughts, traumas, and anxiety do not justify such words and actions.

I apologize if I'm not articulating my thoughts well. I'd appreciate your advice, as I really want to see things through a woman's perspective to understand her better.

Thank you, and I look forward to your response.

R

--

Dear R,

Thank you for writing to me, and I’m sorry that you’re going through this tough time. Life is hard enough as it is, and it would be so nice to have a warm, comforting relationship to come home to. A place of joy and peace, a sanctuary.

Right now, it looks like what you have falls short of this. But I’d like to reassure you that things can always change: you can have the relationship you want if you put in the work, and this is a great first step you’re taking, asking for help.

I think a lot of young men do not get enough guidance in navigating relationships, which is unfortunate, because there’s so much to learn to become a good partner. Many of you, for instance, grow up without an awareness of male privilege, or how the world is skewed in your favor, which ruins nice things. I’ve written about it before (https://bit.ly/3SiuRJD), but to reiterate, I think expectations around relationships continue to be shaped by a framework that teaches boys to aspire to be the providers and decision-makers, while the girls accommodate their needs. We all deserve better than this. You deserve better than this.

You deserve a partnership that is equal and open and honest and supportive, one that honors both your strengths and your weaknesses, your courage but also your scars. Most of all, one that is grounded in your shared hopes and values, not in the social standards of centuries past.

It takes time to build such a partnership. I invite you and your partner, for example, to sit together and list down what you expect of each other. How many of these are unreasonable or unrealistic? Which ones are vestiges of a backward culture? Then, reflect on your individual and common dreams. What kind of a relationship would support these?

If you ask me, the point of being with somebody is to be inspired to constantly grow, especially through the pursuit of meaning, service, and community. It is not, and I can’t stress this enough, to become somebody’s possession, or the sole apple of their eyes. Relationships should not stop us from finding other people attractive. In fact, the very best ones should teach us that every soul is so absolutely fascinating regardless of imperfections, that we’d like to spend the rest of our life getting to know them forever.

I encourage starting with these points for reflection because once you agree on the big picture, everything follows. If you believe in what you want to achieve together and individually, then you will also work on yourselves to become the partner that the other needs.

On your part, there seems to be an awareness of mistakes made, as well as a sincere desire to not make them again. I respect that. But like they say, the best apology is changed behavior. At this point I’d remind that saying hurtful things out of spite is never alright, especially when you raise your voice. I think it’s part of male privilege, to not realize how scary it is to be screamed at by a man. May you learn healthier ways to express your anger and frustration, the next time you feel them.

I do not wish to discount the emotions and experiences that you say fuel your overthinking. But since your attempts to address these have not been productive (is it possible that your partner fears your reaction?), I urge you to focus on yourself in the meantime, and on becoming the partner you wish to become.

You’ve identified trauma as a possible source of these negative feelings, and that can be addressed by therapy. If you have no immediate access to it, are you able to discuss with your friends what happened before and how did it affect you? How are things different for you now, and how can you move forward? It helps to have friends who accept you as you are and believe in your good person, while also not condoning bad behavior.

Finally, I hope you can be a little more at peace with however this turns out. I think a relationship is worth giving your all, if it’s what you really want. But should it not work out, know that everything will still be alright. You will have learned something from it about yourself that you can carry with you in your next one, or in your own journey of self-discovery. Like I also said in that previous piece, fulfilling lives can also be very possibly led in singlehood. The most important thing is to make sure that you will be proud of your decisions, if you look back at this time five, ten years from now.

Wishing you a lot of strength as you face this challenge, R. And may you have all the opportunities to grow into the partner and person you wish to be.

Cheering you on,
Meg

Dear readers.

Happy New Year to you all!

Before I publish the next set of (overdue) correspondences this week, I wanted to reintroduce Dear Meg to those who have just stumbled upon it.

This page began as a personal project during the pandemic because I could not meet counselees at the time, and I wanted to respond to calls for help. Since then, it has spawned an advice column on Pinoy Weekly, and a book compilation published by Gantala Press. I have also been leading workshops on mental wellness and collective care among youth and advocacy organizations.

Possibly because of my background (I took up bachelor’s and master’s in Psychology at the University of the Philippines, and have been providing counseling services to advocates), many of the questions here have been coming from the progressive crowd, and it’s been my great privilege to offer them some help as they fight for everybody’s welfare.

This year, I aim to reach even more readers, especially the youth, who I believe deserve all forms of guidance as they deal with the multiple crises facing their generation. In our sessions, many of them say they wish they had someone to hold their hand as they navigated life, and I would like to create more opportunities for that, besides this page. I am deeply inspired to create – or point them towards – materials and spaces that provide alternative perspectives on the subjects of adulthood, relationships, careers, popular culture, and community-, and nation-building.

I am excited about these initiatives, and welcome any ideas for collaboration.

Looking forward to your letters, and see you around this year!

Yours,
Meg

It's the last few days of 2023 - how has the year been for you and your communities?

Did you have goals, and were you able to achieve them? What were the challenges and how did you hurdle them? If you're still in the midst of those challenges, what help do you need to get through? How can you do better next year?

I'm on these right now (I know, tough questions😅) and some of you might want to do it, too, ideally with people you want to be accountable to! Looking back this way, I think, can foster a sense of gratitude for and connection to others, show the spaces for growth, and more importantly, inspire us to move forward, not just on our own but as a collective.

As a friend also rightfully pointed out, this time to reflect and plan for the future is a privilege.* May we then do it with such care and purpose, in the name of our brothers and sisters who are evading unspeakable violence as we speak, and cannot envision life after today. May we endeavor to build healthy individual practice,* to be able to contribute more to the struggle for a better world. 🤍

*Thanks to my friends AJ and S for the very helpful comments!

May this be a restful holiday season, the kind that will renew us for the struggles ahead. 🤍

Hello everybody! 🤍 In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing overdue letter exchanges, and a slightly different (and I hope, braver) set of content that continues to advocate an ethic of collective care. Watch out for it!

For now, I hope you can express full support to the ongoing transport strike for an inclusive and people-centered mass public transportation program. See details below!

The interests of commuters and transport workers should be at the forefront of its policies and infrastructure. In place of the PUV Modernization Program, the national government must design an inclusive, people-centered, worker-led, and sustainable mass public transportation program.

Read our joint statement against the PUV Modernization Program with Inclusive Cities Advocacy Network - ICAN and Panatang Luntian here: bit.ly/NoToPUVMPStatement

Let's support the Nationwide Transport Strike on November 20-22, 2023! Act now and co-sign with us: bit.ly/NoToPUVMPSign.

🤍Thank you for having me (and my two fellow speakers), Colegio de San Juan de Letran! 🤍

Talked about, among others, mental health as a human right, and urged students to join organizations that promote access to social services - the foundation of wellness.

No less than these UN agencies recognize the inhumanity of what Israel is asking: the immediate evacuation of 1.1 million civilians in Gaza.

Israel has also cut off the food, power, fuel, and water supply, a violation of international humanitarian law.

I hope you can also speak up on the situation of our brothers and sisters in Palestine - fellow humans who deserve peace, and who have as much right to life and dignity as everybody else.

🌸Today is International Mental Health Day🌸

Sending light to everyone who's struggling, and to those who continue to stand for a better world - one where every life is deeply valued, deeply loved. Where every human is fed, clothed, and can come home to a warm bed.

It's a world with way less people feeling anxious, unhappy, and despondent. And it's one worth fighting for.🤍

📌Check out this new fact sheet on anxiety disorders from the World Health Organization (WHO)!

Some key facts:
- Anxiety disorders are the world’s most common mental disorders, affecting 301 million people in 2019.
- More women are affected by anxiety disorders than men.
- Symptoms of anxiety often have onset during childhood or adolescence.
- There are highly effective treatments for anxiety disorders.
- Approximately 1 in 4 people with anxiety disorders receive treatment for this condition.

Anxiety disorders Everyone can feel anxious sometimes, but people with anxiety disorders often experience fear and worry that is both intense and excessive.

Dear Meg,

What can we do when comrades feel down while we're working on creating the better world we all deserve? I want to help, but I'm not sure how. They're really caught up in the shortcomings and can't see any hope in the world.

As someone who shares this path alongside them, the emotional burden of witnessing this struggle and loss of hope is distressing as well.

F
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Dear F,

Thank you for looking after our comrades, and for writing to me. I believe you’ve articulated something that’s difficult, but important, for us to talk about.

Losing hope as an activist, I can imagine, could feel very much like sinning. On top of feeling low – as one does with the loss of hope – one would also feel guilt, with thoughts along the lines of, “we’re not supposed to feel this way!”

But like I’ve written many times before, there are no shoulds with feelings. Losing hope does happen, and I would add, even to the best of us. The question, then, isn’t whether it’s alright to feel hopeless as a revolutionary, but what to do about it when we’re in the situation.

We begin with what’s within our control, always. We give ourselves the care we need, most preferably in a community setting. Yes, you might not have much hope right now, but I promise you’ll be fine if you’re there for each other – to listen, to cook and eat, to play music, to explore nature together (the list goes on), until the other feels better.

In any case, losing hope does not, and should not, mean losing commitment. I think this is the case for our comrades. In fact, I would argue that most of the time, it’s not the loss of hope that weighs them down, but the fear that because of it, they might have no use to the movement. That, as you know, is absolutely untrue.

More important than staying hopeful, I believe, is to keep fighting. To acknowledge the feeling's existence, but to carry out one’s duties anyway. I think it helps a lot to focus on the work at hand. This way, one actually feels allowed to lose hope – what isn’t allowed is to not do what needs to be done. There’s a difference. Moreover, being able to do something still, however small, should bring a sense of accomplishment, and renew one’s strength.

Once you’ve regained some, I would advocate reclaiming hope, as a matter of principle. I think we must continue to look forward to the revolutionary vision of a better world, to believe in its possibility. To nurture this hope is, in a way, to honor the sacrifices of our martyrs: we do not give up because our comrades did not die in vain. Such hope, too, would be an expression of our faith in the oppressed, a supreme trust in their will to stand for their fellow human.

I wouldn’t say there had not been instances when I felt this will was not strong enough. But I’m saying that at many important moments and sometimes in the most unexpected situations, people do rise to the occasion. I think this is how history is made anyway, and why we can have this conversation today.

Fortunately, too, I’ve witnessed enough examples of miracles of life in the movement – people who could have easily taken oft-travelled roads, but became comrades who risked life and limb for the Cause, and with their sacrifices, made the impossible possible. There were dutiful churchworkers, and landlords and businessmen, who ended up becoming revolutionaries in our midst. There used to be timid farmers and workers who are now our most fervent campaigners, our most eloquent and revered freedom-fighters.

From the harsh days of the dictatorship, we also have countless stories of men and women who chose – against all logic of personal safety and instinct of self-preservation – to organize among communities. They showed us that in the most hopeless, pitch-dark situations, a spark can and does emerge, and change everything.

Just yesterday I was talking to a friend who shared their experience of holding a long educational discussion with someone who used to not want to be involved in activism. Someone who once just liked a quiet and safe life. Someone who used to wonder how come activists would come to them even on weekends. Now they wanted to learn so much more about society – they did not want the session to end, and say they have never been more excited about studying.

My friend was overjoyed, and there was this glimmer in their eyes as they talked about it. I know this is not exactly the grand, sweeping triumph you might have wanted me to write about, but I think of how this might be what organizers go through each day, and keep them going: living with the people, understanding their needs, standing with them to fight for those needs. Misperceiving at times, making mistakes, and course-correcting. To try and try again while growing through errors, I think that’s what waging a revolution means.*

These days, we hear news of the State failing the people at every turn, alongside increasingly brazen attacks on activists, on the daily. It’s been injustice upon injustice, and each time, our heart breaks a little. In such instances, I know there is great power in seeing even the tiniest fruits of our efforts. They make the painful parts easier to bear.

In this admittedly tough time in our history, I wish you these moments, enough to keep you going. More importantly, I wish you the strength to stay in the struggle and to continue to fight, and fight beyond hope.

Take care, F, and thank you once again for writing.

❤
Meg

*Please see a previous exchange on what makes a good activist: https://tinyurl.com/mrxzafkv, and the very first question I answered on the page: https://tinyurl.com/2ujrx3zf.

Good day to everyone!

Here’s a letter to political prisoners, as requested by a comrade.

If you know anyone, please feel free to share.

An English translation is in the comments.

🤍,
Meg

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Sa mga kasamang bilanggong pulitikal,

Kumusta po kayo? Sana ay nasa mabuti-buti kayong kalagayan, sa kabila ng lahat. Nawa’y nakakakain at nakakatulog nang sapat, at nakakapaglibang paminsan.

Sa totoo lang po ay inisip ko kung may maisusulat akong hindi pa ninyo alam. Tiyak ko po kasing di hamak na mas mahigpit ang inyong paggagap sa ating mga pinaniniwalaan, at mas marami at malalim ang inyong pinagdaanan. Pero sabi po ng humiling nitong sulat, kahit alam mo na, minsan ay maigi ring marinig mula sa iba.

Una, hanga po kami sa inyong tapang na magpatuloy sa gawain sa gitna ng paniniil ng estado, at ngayon, sa matibay na pagharap sa hatid nitong hirap. Mainam po kayong patotoo sa iginigiit ng ating kilusan tungkol sa pagiging tao. Na likas tayong naghahangad ng mabuti para sa kapwa, at handang ipaglaban ito maging sa panahong mapanganib.

Pinatutunayan ninyo at ng marami pang aktibista na maaari palang mag-asam ng pakinabang na lagpas sa sarili, na ituring ang ating kapakanan na mahigpit na kaugnay ng sa iba. Kaya naman lagi po namin kayong ipinagmamalaki, at laman ng isip. Hindi pa man po namin naipagtatagumpay ang inyong paglaya, inspirasyon namin kayo sa pagpakahusay. Sisikapin po naming punan ang naiwan ninyong puwang, sa pamamagitan ng paghalaw ng mga aral sa inyong karanasan.

Sisikapin po naming matipon ang inyong mga kwento, at kung may pagkakataon, sana po’y maisulat rin ninyo – tulad ng ginawa ni Cesar Lacara noong dekada ‘60, sabi ng isang kaibigan. Gaya ng kanyang mga aklat, tiyak po naming magiging hitik ang inyong malilikha sa mga aral na magiging gabay namin at ng mga susunod na salinlahi ng aktibista: sa kung paano maglunsad ng mga kampanya, magpalawak ng kasapian, at maipagtagumpay ang mga laban.

Para po sa amin, hindi kabiguan ang inyong pagkapiit, at lalong hindi tagumpay ng kaaway. Sa halip, ito’y walang iba kundi bahagi ng tunggalian ng uri, at patunay na hindi basta-basta magsusuko ng kapangyarihan ang mga naghahari. Ito marahil ang dahilan kung bakit maging sa pagkahuli ay nakataas ang inyong noo, at kung di pinipigilan, pati ang kamao. Malinaw ang kawastuhan ng inyong pagpanig, kaya’t laging may tapang, laging may dangal sa inyong tindig.

Kaya naman marubdob po kaming nagpapasalamat sa inyong mahusay na halimbawa. Alam po naming sa kabila ng lahat, wala kayong pinagsisisihan sa inyong tinahak. Na kung may susunod na buhay, ito at ito rin ang pipiliin ninyong landas.

Hangad po naming mga nasa labas ang gayon ding paninindigan, at kahandaang magsakripisyo para sa sambayanan. Ang inyong ipinamalas na kabutihan ng puso at tapang ay nagniningning sa inyong katauhan. At kung paanong hindi magagapi ng diktadurya ang nagkakaisang sambayanan, hindi maipipiit ng anumang bilangguan ang inyong diwang palaban.

Lubos na humahanga at sumasainyo,
Meg

⭐️🌟✨It's graduation season once again, so re-sharing this post. I've also added a Filipino translation today, just below the English.

Salute to the graduates, and also to those who didn't, because they took the path of full-time activism. 🤍

*Filipino translation available below

Dear Meg,

It's graduation season and my batchmates are celebrating their success, while I chose the path of being a full-time activist. I don’t regret anything though. I am very proud of my batchmates. They deserve the recognition after all their hardships under neoliberal education.

However, when I'm overthinking, I sometimes consider going back to school because I love studying and I want what they have — certificate, diploma, all those 'congratulations' and 'I'm proud of you' messages from their families.

How do I calm myself when I think of what my life could be if I didn't stop going to school?

Love,

C

--

Dear C,

Thank you for writing to me, and I send comfort in what must be a bit of a rough time for you.

A revolutionary’s path, they say, begins with crossroads, and is marked by many more. Sometime ago you faced one of your own, and I want you to know: you chose well, and I am very, very proud of you.

Not many people will see it that way, and we understand. I’ll try to tell them what I know.

Back in college I was lucky to meet a lot of full-timers, many of them students who stopped going to their classes. They were eager to reach more students, more communities. They wanted to help people know their rights, and organize.

I remember it as an eventful time. Activists engaged in issues within and outside of the campus, taking up the causes of free tuition, but also genuine land reform. They stood against oil price hikes, demolitions, and contractualization. They protested the massacre in Hacienda Luisita, and union-busting in Laguna.

We take it for granted that students here delved in these, too, but in conversations with activists abroad, I learned that it isn’t always so. I found myself feeling quite proud of the young militant Filipinos, who cared as much for the sugar worker in Negros, the SM saleslady, or the crew at Jollibee as they did for fellow students. This character of our youth movement, I can see now, had been shaped by the sacrifices of the full-time activists I was talking about.

I didn’t understand this fully myself back then, having been raised in an achievement-conscious household. We were told we can always do our part when we graduate, and you know, become a philanthropist. Later we learn, with big help from full-timers who by then had been living among the communities, that our oppressions are systemic, and we’re not anyone's Messiah. They taught, by example, how to struggle not just for our sector or class, but for everyone. More importantly, they showed that activism can be a life path on its own, not just something you pursued on the side, or when it’s convenient.

The years they chose to spend on community organizing, instead of on their studies, allowed these activists to reach way more people than the rest of us leading normal lives could ever have. What we lacked in material resources, we made up for with their tireless, unpaid efforts. And in living out principles of collective, simple lifestyles, of pushing back against norms, and of using one’s talents to serve the people, they left behind many lessons in waging a revolution.

In case I was not being clear, I believe our movement is built on the hard work of full-time activists like you. We simply owe you so, so much.

On your days of doubts and insecurities – feelings I will not begrudge you for amid unceasing capitalist propaganda – may you remember this deep gratitude, this deep pride. May you see yourself the way I see the full-time activists of my time.

You speak of your batchmates’ success, for example, and I hope you don’t overlook yours. Every meeting, every discussion, every statement, every action big or small. This society will not tell you, but they are most meaningful accomplishments, too.

As you continue on this path you will have to constantly go through this exercise – of unlearning conventions, of reframing the way you look at things. What is an achievement? What should we aspire to become? What is a good life?

One of the many gifts of activism, I believe, is the realization that *we* determine what success means. Once we’re able to define it for ourselves, we gain freedom. No longer will we chase after worldly desires. No longer will we aspire for privilege that blinds.

I think you're on your way to this freedom, C, and I hope you don't let it go. But I understand your conflicting feelings. When your will fails you sometimes – and it happens to the best of us – I hope you seek out the people who honor your choices. In my own experience, nothing has been more affirming of the revolutionary path, than being with people for whom titles don’t matter – only a willingness to serve, and to stand up for what is right.

In your letter I do note that you said you love to study, and that might be worth talking about. Knowledge is good to have. In our movement we keep trying to build it, refine it, and let it guide our actions. If you truly wish to pursue it in the confines of a classroom, going back is always an option. What I wanted to make sure is that the drive comes from within, not outside. More importantly, that you will always strive to use what you learn to uplift people’s lives.

However you conduct your life, know that this time will never be a waste. I’m sure that, on quite another level, it’s teaching you grit, discipline, and resourcefulness. That it’s providing you a unique lens for understanding situations, insights only the likes of you could have. May the experience keep making you wise, but also humble and grounded. And may it always lead you to the most important things: growth, joy, and meaning.

Finally, I hope you know that your family is proud of you, whether or not you have a degree to your name. And us in the movement – even more so.

Salute to you, C, and to all full-time activists!
__

FILIPINO TRANSLATION

Dear Meg,

Panahon na naman ng mga pagtatapos. Nagdiriwang ang aking mga ka-batch, samantalang ako ay pinili ang landas ng pagiging full-time na aktibista. Wala naman akong pinagsisisihan. Masaya ako para sa kanila; inani nila ang mga pagkilala pagkatapos ng lahat ng paghihirap sa ilalim ng neoliberal na edukasyon.

Pero minsan, napapaisip akong bumalik sa pag-aaral dahil hilig ko rin ang matuto at nais ko rin ang mayroon sila – ang sertipiko, diploma, at ang lahat ng pagbati mula sa pamilya.

Paano ko pakakalmahin ang sarili kapag naiisip ko kung ano kaya ang naging takbo ng aking buhay kung hindi ako tumigil sa pag-aaral?

Nagmamahal,

C

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Dear C,

Salamat sa pagliham sa akin. Sisikapin kong maghatid ng kaunting aliw sa gitna ng may kabigatang mga araw na ito.

Sabi nila, ang landas ng rebolusyonaryo ay nagsisimula sa, at batbat ng, maraming sangandaan. Hinarap mo ang ilan sa mga ito ilang panahon na ang nakararaan at nais kong sabihin: pinili mo ang wastong landas, at ipinagmamalaki kita.

Hindi lahat ay gayon ang pananaw, at nauunawaan natin kung bakit. Sisikapin kong ilahad sa kanila ang aking alam.

Noong ako’y nasa kolehiyo, mapalad akong makakilala ng mga full-timer, na karamihan ay huminto na sa pagpasok sa kanilang mga klase. Sabik silang makaabot ng maraming mga mag-aaral, at mga komunidad. Nais nilang malaman ng mga ito ang kanilang mga karapatan, at matipon sila para sa mga kampanya.

Naaalala ko ito bilang isang abalang panahon. Ang mga mag-aaral na aktibista, nakikilahok sa mga isyu sa loob at labas ng pamantasan. Bitbit nila ang usapin ng libreng matrikula, at tunay na reporma sa lupa. Tumindig sila laban sa pagtaas ng presyo ng langis, demolisyon, at kontraktwalisasyon. Kinondena nila ang masaker sa Hacienda Luisita, at ang pagbuwag sa mga unyon sa Laguna.

Sa Pilipinas, kinasanayan na natin ang paglahok ng mga estudyante sa mga kampanyang ito, ngunit sa pakikipag-usap sa mga aktibista sa ibang bansa, nalaman kong hindi pala laging ganito. Nagkaroon ako ng dagdag na paghanga sa mga militanteng kabataang Pilipino, na nag-aalala para sa mga manggagawang-bukid sa Negros, sa saleslady sa SM, o sa crew sa Jollibee katulad ng kanilang pag-aalala para sa kapwa mag-aaral. Ang ganitong karakter ng ating kilusang kabataan, ngayon ay malinaw na sa akin, ay hinubog ng mga sakripisyo ng mga aktibistang kumikilos nang buong panahon.

Hindi ko rin ito nauunawaan nang lubos noon, dahil pinalaki akong nakatuon sa mga pagkilala sa eskwela. Ang turo sa amin, maaari naman naming gawin ang aming bahagi kapag nakapagtapos na, sa pagkakawanggawa. Paglaon, sa tulong ng mga aktibistang noo’y nakikipamuhay na sa mga komunidad, natutunan naming ang ating kaapihan ay malalim na nakaugat sa ating sistemang panlipunan, at hindi tayo Mesias ninuman. Sa pamamagitan ng kanilang halimbawa, itinuro nila sa atin paano makibaka hindi lamang para sa ating sektor o uri, kundi para sa lahat. At mas mahalaga rito, ipinakita nilang ang aktibismo ay maaaring maging isang landas ng buhay, hindi lamang isang libangan, o bagay na ginagawa lamang kapag magaan.

Dahil sa maraming taong inilaan nila sa pag-oorganisa sa mga komunidad sa halip na sa kanilang pag-aaral, naabot ng mga atkibistang ito ang mas maraming tao kaysa sa maaabot nating mga tumahak ng normal na buhay. Anumang kakulangan natin sa mga rekursong materyal, napunan ng kanilang walang-pagod at walang katumbas na pagpapagal. At sa pagsasabuhay sa mga prinsipyo ng kolektibo at simpleng pamumuhay, ng pagbangga sa mga nakasanayan, at pag-aalay ng kakayahan para paglingkuran ang sambayanan, iniwan nila ang maraming aral sa paglulunsad ng rebolusyon.

Sakaling hindi malinaw, naniniwala akong ang ating kilusan ay nakasalig sa pagsisikap ng mga katulad mong aktibistang kumikilos nang buong panahon. Hindi matutumbasan ang inyong ambag sa ating pakikibaka.

Sa mga araw na tigib ng pag-iimbot, na hindi ko na isisisi sa iyo sa gitna ng matinding propaganda ng mga kapitalista, nawa’y maalala mo itong malalim na paghanga at pagkilala. Nawa’y makita mo ang iyong sarili kung paano ko tinitingnan ang mga full-time na aktibista ng aking panahon.

Ikinukwento mo ang tagumpay ng iyong mga kasabayan, at sana’y hindi mo makaligtaan ang sa iyo. Bawat pulong, talakayan, o statement, bawat pagkilos, maliit man o malaki. Hindi ito sasabihin ng ating lipunan sa iyo, ngunit di hamak na makabuluhan din ang mga ito.

Habang tinatahak mo ang landas na ito, asahan mong lagi mong kakaharapin ang ganitong pangangailangan – na iwaksi ang mga atrasadong kaugalian, at pag-isipan ang iyong pagtingin sa mga bagay-bagay. Ano ang kahulugan ng tagumpay? Ano ba ang dapat nating maging hangarin? Ano ba ang sukatan ng magandang buhay?

Isa sa mga biyaya ng aktibismo, sa aking pananaw, ay ang pagtanto na tayo ang nagbibigay-kahulugan sa tagumpay. At kapag nagawa natin ito, nakakamit natin ang kalayaan. Hindi na natin tutugisin ang mga bagay na walang kabuluhan. Hindi na natin hahangarin ang mga luho at pribilehiyo, na madalas na nakapambubulag lamang sa ating pananaw.

Malapit mo nang makamtan ang kalayaang ito, C, at sana'y huwag mo itong isuko. Ngunit naiintindihan ko ang pagsasalungat ng iyong mga damdamin. Kapag binibigo ka ng iyong loob – at nangyayari ito maging sa pinakamahuhusay sa atin – nawa’y hanapin mo ang mga taong kumikilala sa iyong mga pasya. Sa aking karanasan, wala nang mas nakapagpapatibay ng pagtahak sa rebolusyonaryong landas, kundi ang paglubog sa mga komunidad kung saan, higit sa mga titulo, mas mahalaga ang kahandaang magsilbi, at tumindig para sa tama.

Ngunit nabanggit mo rin sa iyong liham ang iyong hilig sa pag-aaral, at maaari nating pag-usapan ito. Mainam na bagay ang kaalaman. Sa ating kilusan, lubos nating pinahahalagahan natin ito, hinuhubog, at ginagamit na gabay sa ating mga hakbang. Kung nais mong hanapin ito sa loob ng silid-aralan, lagi namang nariyan ang pagkakataong bumalik. Ang nais ko lamang tiyakin ay nanggagaling sa iyong kalooban, at hindi sa labas, ang tulak na mag-aral. At higit dito, na anuman ang iyong matutunan, ay gagamitin mo ito sa pagsisikap na paunlarin ang buhay ng mga mamamayan.

Anuman ang iyong maging pasya, tiyak kong hindi magiging sayang ang panahong ito ng iyong buhay. Batid kong itinuturo nito sa iyo ang pambihirang tatag, disiplina, at pagiging maparaan. At binibigyan ka nito ng di pangkaraniwang balangkas para unawain ang mga sitwasyon, balangkas na magluluwal ng mahahalagang suri na maaaring sa inyo lamang magmula. Sana’y linangin sa iyo ng karanasang ito ang karunungan, at pagpapakumbaba. At nawa’y lagi ka nitong dalhin sa mga pinakamahahalagang bagay sa buhay: pag-unlad, ligaya, at kabuluhan.

At bilang panghuli, sana’y alam mong ipinagmamalaki ka ng iyong pamilya, mayroon ka mang diploma o wala. At kaming mga nasa kilusan, nang lalo’t higit.
Saludo sa iyo, C, at sa lahat ng mga kumikilos nang buong panahon!

Meg