Dominique Feldman - The Authenticity Coach
Serial Storyteller & Poet. Hobby Musician. Ex-Entrepreneur. Comedian (sorta). Multipassionate Human.
LIVE TAROT READING in Denver on Sunday, March 12th!
That’s right — finally announcing it 🔥 I’ll be doing tarot readings for a seriously discounted price, and bringing ALL 45 of my tarot decks! Hope to see you there if you’re in Denver 😍
In reality, the scariest things to say aren’t always the loud, dramatic ones. They’re the whispers. The breaths. The things the other person already knows, the things you know the other person already knows. The yes’s and the no’s. The quiet, common dreams and the simple realities. The things that aren’t in movies.
But they’re still scary, because they’re the truth. And the truth, more than anything else, is the scariest thing to face.
The Meaning of Flying. ~Original Lyrics (to be recorded one day soon!)
She’s been meaning to fly
But she’s been dreaming of some guy
And she doesn’t know the reason why
She thinks about love all the time
Never really grasping reason from rhyme
But that’s just the poet inside her,
It binds her
And she says,
You won’t understand
The things that I can do
The things that I won’t do
You won’t understand
The reasons for what I do
And the things that I find true
You won’t understand
The feelings I hold to my heart
They’d tear anyone else apart
You won’t understand
The things I’m willing to do
And that’s the truth
She’s been looking up at the sky
Writing stories about how she’ll try
To spread her wings and fly
Fly away
She thinks about love like it’s something far away
She’s not perfect, and that’s not okay
Who would understand anyway
One day, she’ll step out of her head
Her life will be like something she read
In her books
Adventures that shook her to her very core
She wants so much more
One day she’ll see what’s really there
Not something she created out of thin air
She’ll finally see the sky
And won’t ask it why
She’ll say,
Can you understand
The story of my life in chains
With only myself to blame?
Can you understand
If I’m truly free to go
I won’t stop running, no
Would you understand
The feelings I’m setting free
The ones that defined me?
Only I can understand
What I’m willing to do
Now that I found the truth
She’ll finally know
The real meaning of flying
—————————
Probably the closest I’ll ever get to describing what it’s like being stuck in your own mind, and being aware of that at the same time!
This is one of the songs I want to record some time soon. We’ll see how that plays out. 🤷♀️✨
Does anyone else feel this way??
I’m positive I’m not the only one.
I definitely crave both stability and adventure.
I want a house, solid finances and investments, lots of clothing and skincare and blankets, to have a simple life…
AND…
I want to backpack, live in multiple overseas locations for a while, roadtrip and camp in my car, visit my friends all over the world, and travel solo.
There’s a part of me that wants to settle and live a simple life in one place, and then there’s a part of me that’s screaming F**K IT and wants me to drop everything and book a one-way ticket to who-the-f**k-knows-where.
And anyone else have this same struggle??
I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to accomplish here. And I think I finally came to some sort of conclusion.
I realized that I feel happiest with social media when I could look back at all of the things I’ve done, said, shared, etc.
This whole time, social media has been a sort of diary. And looking back helped me remember important things.
Like how happy I actually was for the majority my last relationship, despite my brain villainizing and dcriticizing.
And how much fun I had the summer after that break-up. How much growth and progress I made.
Like how I’m actually not bad-looking. It can be hard to remember in the moment, but then I see photos from years past.
My YouTube years. I’m reminded of all of the incredible adventures I had then and the videos I made from scratch, with nothing but an idea and a camera.
All of my past writings too, reminding me that I’m a songwriter and a poet, and I should never forget that.
I’m reminded of my determination and resilience. I’m reminded of the people that I’m so grateful for, even those who have drifted away.
Without this, I might be stuck feeling like I’ve gone nowhere, quit out of fear, and done nothing substantial with my life.
Maybe it’s not what social media was built for. But it’s what I’ve been using it for all this time… to talk to myself.
Maybe that’s why it always felt wrong to me to use it as a gallery for others’ attention, even as I did it myself. Maybe that’s why chasing likes and comments felt anxiety-inducing. Why I found it so hard to use it to run a business.
It’s also why I removed so many posts from this account, but then kept some of my favorite reels, even though they’re no longer “relevant”. 👀
Everyone has their own journey, and I’ll never deny you all the opportunity to use this tool as you see fit.
But for me… this is for me. Not for you. Not for someone else. But for me and any Future Me’s that wander back here.
So Future Me… take this as a reminder to do this for you, and no one else.
Run
Run until you can run no more
Run for the ones who don’t believe in you,
For their sad and tired disapproval
For that look of a disappointment, like you’ve made a wrong choice
Run, and make that wrong turn
Then keep running into the unknown
Through streets lined with single-story family homes
Through dim and damp alleyways
Through trees and parks and creeks where you created your first adventures in your mind
But now you’ll mold them into something tangible with your feet
As you run
Feet pounding
Breathless
No words can describe the exhilaration, the fear, the pain
The anticipation
No one can make you run, and no one ever will
It’s only your will that will
A choice
To run or not to run
But to choose not to
Is to separate heart and mind from body
They will always run
And leave you behind
Leave you an empty vessel, while they go and live the dream you never will
They will always run
Run
Run for your life
Run to feel the breeze blow against you, and break past its chains
Run for discovery
Run for love
Run for the heck of it
Just run
Until you can run no more
It’s possible that I’m finally starting to see myself as some type of beautiful. ✨
I say “possible” because it’s a work in progress. Isn’t it always? 🤷♀️
This isn’t something I talk about a lot because, when I do, it’s usually met with some version of “you’re small, what are you complaining about?” by well-meaning people. Yet for so long, the more I looked in the mirror or at the number of the scale, the worse I felt.
You know the drill.
“Why is my torso so short?”
“Wow, my profile looks so hideous.”
“I hate my nose.”
“I need to hide my stomach.”
“My mouth is too small.”
“Why is my forehead so big?”
“I wish I looked like her.”
The body dysmorphia will probably never fully go away. The constant comparison to the people around me that I seem more beautiful may start to wane over time, but it’ll still be a voice in my head.
But progress is still progress! And sometimes, I can look at myself in the mirror now and see someone who isn’t as ugly as she once thought she was.
Shout out to all of you who have felt ugly and unwanted. I hope you’re starting to see it too. ❤️
Long time no see, friends 😬👋🏻
It’s been nearly a year since I stopped posting to this account… and I FINALLY have things to say.
When I moved to Denver, I did a lot of living in the moment. I was a whole new me. I’ve posted to social media maybe 10 times total in 2022, and I stopped creating things entirely.
Y’all, it was REFRESHING.
But…
A creator can’t stop creating ⭐️
And after some time, I’ve finally realized the one thing my current life is missing and what I’ve been wrong about this whole time.
I never NEEDED to create.
I needed to use my voice.
I had things I wanted to say, and even when I was creating, I never truly said most of them.
Maybe it’s the same for you too.
You start doing and saying things you didn’t truly believe in yet. Even though you are vulnerable or authentic, it’s calculated. That’s a tough cookie to swallow. 😬
I’ve come back now because I’m going back to my roots, what started it all.
I’ll be sharing MUSIC and STORIES.
Nothing calculated. Nothing to prove. No one to impress but myself.
Just singing songs I like, sharing stories I’ve experienced or written, and being occasionally funny - in whatever mediums I feel like using.
To be frank, IDK where this will go.
But we all have a voice and a message and things we love. And now just happens to be my time to share those things ❤️
Introducing Domi Kat - my online name since online was a thing. 😎
I’ll see you around soon 🎶✨📝 In the mean time, let’s catch up!
I’m now a Denverite!!
(That is, I now live in Denver.)
This is something I’ve been talking about for the past year and half. And now I’m FINALLY here…
…after getting a full-time job and putting my business on the backburner!!
Funny how things work out sometimes. It’s not always what you expect 🤷♀️ But that doesn’t mean it isn’t awesome anyway!
Sound off: For those thinking or dreaming about moving elsewhere, where do you want to live??
Comment below!
✨
✨Y’ALL NEED TO READ THIS✨
I don’t usual post stuff like this, but F**K a pretty feed.
Let’s all stop expecting people to read between the lines for us. And let’s stop expecting ourselves to understand what people really mean all the fu***ng time.
Let’s just say what we mean and expect others to do the same.
Just reading this made me feel so much less pressure to “analyze” people. For real. 🙏🏻
Ok, Domi out 🎤👋🏻
The only people that matter are the people you CHOOSE.
If you don’t choose them…
If you don’t LIKE them that much…
If they don’t make you a better person…
If they only serve to drag you down…
They don’t matter.
Not to you, anyway.
Look, my dudes, there’s a boundary we all have to set. And that’s the boundary between “kindness for your fellow humans” and “caring for your people.”
There’s no rule or ethical obligation that says you have to care for every single human on this planet. It’s impossible. No one can possibly do that or even a small fraction of that.
But your people? The ones who make you smile, take care of you when you’re sick, push you to improve and be brave, understand you, give you the type of love you need…
…those are the people worth caring for.
Your kindness towards humanity doesn’t have to suffer for it.
But that boundary is necessary unless you want to spend your whole life an exhausted, bitter, anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed people-pleaser.
I say this because being with some of MY people these past few weeks has reminded me of my purpose. That thing that drives me.
It’s not “people.” It’s “MY people.”
Say that again to yourself.
It’s not PEOPLE. It’s YOUR PEOPLE.
🔥This is why I’m going to start hosting events soon!! ✨
For my people. And for you to find, meet, and create memories and magic with YOUR people ❤️
Stay tuned 😎
Masterminding with these ladies at Laguna Beach was such a treat 🏝🖤💙💛🥂
(+ behind the camera! And many more not pictured but that WILL be pictured/mentioned in later posts. Stay tuned!!)
If there’s one thing my coach () taught me, it’s that your community is the foundation of everything. Your family, your friends, your people.
She doesn’t see it as just making money to go do the things you want to do.
She sees it as building wealth and abundance for the generations to come.
At the end of the day, we aren’t the only one who can benefit from our successes.
We’ll invest that money, power, energy, etc that we’ve accumulated SOMEWHERE, after all.
So who are you invested in?
What community (or communities) are you a part of?
Who do you want to raise up with you?
Who matters to you? ❤️
I was gonna leave this caption there with some reflection questions, but I realized that isn’t the end of the story.
Like f**k, my dudes… I love communities, but I often think of myself as the outlier. Someone on the fringes that participates and has fun, but is a bit invisible and lacks presence.
I’ve often resigned myself to this, but a few moments this weekend woke me up to the reality that my presence exists. And people DO see me, and they see pieces of me that I couldn’t have even imagined.
My mind was totally blown.
And truthfully, even as an introvert, it reminded me that whatever community you’re in will have an effect on you, whether you like it or not.
You CAN’T just be a passive observer. You WILL be actively shaped. There’s no way around it.
And change is beautiful. Realization is powerful. Perspective is relative, and it’s so, so magical to see things (especially yourself) in ways you never even imagined.
So thank you to this beautiful community for opening my eyes (and making me fu***ng cry, damn it). 🥲❤️
This EMAIL LIST vs. SOCIAL MEDIA debate is toxic as FUUUUCK 🤦🏼♀️
I seriously hate it. It’s a bunch of people arguing which way is better in a passive-aggressive, “you do you BUT” sort of way.
At this point, y’all should already know that no one way is better than another 🤷♀️
Social media isn’t important.
An email list isn’t important.
They’re both inherently unimportant.
Because they’re simply tools. And my dudes, there are a million tools out there that could get you the same results. Don’t kid yourself into thinking any single one is the end-all-be-all of necessities 🙄
(Can you sense the exasperation and judgement? I’m not trying to hide it 👀)
The ONLY reason any of these tools matter is because YOU and YOUR PEOPLE make them matter.
YOU give them meaning.
So yeah. Social media, email lists, FB groups, YouTube videos, in-person events, cold emailing, online workshops, Twitter, Pinterest, Tailwind, Dubsado, HoneyBook, cold calling, conventions, all of this…
…they’re ALL inherently UNIMPORTANT until YOU make them matter.
Point is, just do what matters to you. 🤷♀️
NOT what you think you should do, regardless of what your favorite biz coach or online idol tells you 👀
And as long as what you do is considered important to YOU and YOUR PEOPLE, that’s honestly all you need ✨
Oh, and PS…
Stop putting people down for advocating one method over another. It’s really annoying. 😬
Domi, out. 🎤👋🏻
Multipassionate, Multitasker, or both? 🤣👏🏻
This was legit me today. No, I wasn’t forced to do this. And no, I’m not glorifying the hustle or whatever 🙄
This is just reality sometimes.
Let’s get this straight…
Multitasking doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unfocused or frantic or all over the place.
And being multipassionate doesn’t mean you have to do THIS every day 🤷♀️
So shout-out to all of my Multipassionate Sometimes-Multitaskers out there. Sound off in the comments!
Are you in control of your life? 🤔
The easy answer is obviously YES. But if you dig deeper, it gets more complicated than that…
👉🏻Are you allowing others to affect your decisions, or even make them for you?
👉🏻Are your excuses dictated by fear or worry?
👉🏻Is your reasoning YOUR OWN, or did you get it from someone else? If someone else, does it truly make sense to you?
👉🏻Do you take actions that feel good to you, or do they feel bad?
Etc etc…
If you dig deep enough, you’ll often find that your life is being dictated by everything EXCEPT what YOU feel, think, want, or need.
And you’ll always have an excuse or reason for why that is… but that still doesn’t change the absolute truth.
✨You do not trust yourself.✨
In fact, you may even trust everyone and everything BUT yourself.
Common excuses:
“I always choose the wrong guys.”
“I can’t be trusted to manage my own finances, I always blow it all.”
“I’ve never traveled before and my friend has, so they know better.”
You get the point 👀
And sure, the experience and skills of others are necessary and helpful in many cases!
But at some point, you have to ask yourself:
WHAT DO *I* THINK?
OR FEEL?
OR WANT?
OR NEED?
So the next time you find yourself looking to everything and everyone BUT yourself to make a decision…
… pause for a moment and ask YOURSELF the same question you’d ask others.
(PS: It’s OK if it’s hard to trust that answer right now! It will be at first. But keep trying!)
And if this is an ongoing issue your life, especially you secret wannabe world travelers… 👀
Coming soon in the future, I’ll have an epic offer that will help you PRACTICE this + actually book that travel you’ve been holding back on! (Yes, even if your finances don’t agree with you!)
Keep your eyes peeled!!
Have you ever felt “stupid”?
I have 🙋🏼♀️
Peek me, my brother and my cousins after a particularly difficult escape room where we totally whiffed the very first clue by forgetting to look under one of the boxes even after the guy specifically told us, “DON’T FORGET TO CHECK EVERY BOX.” 🥴
You know what’s funny though?
Afterwards, despite our total failure and needing constant hints for almost everything, my cousin said, with a huge smile on his face…
“I wanna do more of those, that was SO FUN.”
🗺And that, my dudes, is the attitude of someone who cares less about the destination than the journey 🏔🏃🏽♂️
It’s a reminder that failure isn’t the sign of a wrong choice.
And achieving a certain result isn’t the only way to be happy.
People talk all the time about how “iT’s ThE jOuRnEy NoT tHe DeStInaTiOn,” but let’s be totally honest, none of us really understand that vague s**t until we experience it ourselves.
So what’s the solution? If you’re struggling to enjoy the journey and stop worrying so much about outcomes, what do you do?
✨Go on more journeys, my dudes!✨
It’s simple. Practice. Go out there and win and lose and make choices of all kinds.
But you gotta get up and do it. Even if it’s small.
👉🏻Tell someone that you appreciate them.
👉🏻Surprise a coworker with a random GIF that makes you think of them.
👉🏻Take a run down a new path.
👉🏻Go on a random day trip with no plan.
👉🏻Attend a local event that you would never usually attend, and bring along an acquaintance you barely know.
👉🏻Nicely but firmly ask your boss for the raise you know you deserve.
👉🏻Start writing that book.
👉🏻Try a new sport.
There are so many new journeys we can start, and so many old ones we’ve given up on.
It’s time to walk those paths, instead of imagining what it would be like if we did!
What journey will you pursue this week, whether you ultimate choose to complete it or not? 😊 Comment below and let me know! 👇🏻👇🏻
"This generation has been raised to be weak. Would you ever see Michael Jordan doing that?"
Weak? Are we really about to call Simone Biles “weak”?
If I have to be honest, Simone Biles is still the greatest athlete I’ve ever known.
She’s won several Olympic medals and world championships. She has moves named after her. She’s performed feats that literally NO ONE ELSE could even think to accomplish.
That’s success, of course.
But something about what she chose to do in the 2021 Olympics had me thinking…
She’s done it. Yet again. She’s succeeded.
AND she's shown us a kind of strength and success that we can’t ignore.
https://www.chaoticcourage.com/blog/what-simone-biles-can-teach-us-about-success
What Simone Biles teaches us about STRENGTH & SUCCESS — Chaotic Courage | Coaching for Ambitious Introverts If I have to be honest, Simone Biles is still the greatest athlete I’ve ever known. She’s succeeded in so many ways. But something about what she chose to do in the 2021 Olympics had me thinking… She’s done it. Yet again. She’s succeeded.
When I was in eighth grade, I went to a leadership conference. At the time, I was half the person I am now; gullible, naive, and scared of the world, myself, and making a wrong move. I am still these things, sometimes, but it was worse back then.
Still, I was willing to try something new. Even something as off-brand as a leadership conference. Me, the follower, learning how to lead. It seemed laughable.
It was a few days long. At the beginning, they threw each of us in with one or two roommates, people we didn't know. I barely got to know mine, but she seemed nice enough. Each day, we were put in our groups to do team-building exercises, learn about each other, and learn good leadership strategies.
I told myself something going in. I said:
"Domi, no one knows you here. You know no one. You will likely never see them again. Be the person you want to be. Be that person."
But who was the person I wanted to be?
Read the full blog post:
https://www.chaoticcourage.com/blog/stop-holding-yourself-back
Stop Holding Yourself Back: How To Become The Person You Want To Be — Chaotic Courage | Coaching for Ambitious Introverts "Domi, no one knows you here. You know no one. You will likely never see them again. Be the person you want to be. Be that person." But who really was the person I wanted to be?
Helloooo, Perfectionists! Ready to honestly and whole-heartedly shout, “F$ being perfect”?!
OK, that’s a bit of an aggressive way to put it, BUT I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that perfectionism is no fun. You’d THINK, considering how many of us are desperately trying to be perfect, that “perfectionism” would be seen as a good thing.
Yet here we are, all hyper-aware that we simultaneous want to be perfect and hate that we want to be perfect. WHAT A WORLD WE LIVE IN!
After a lot of flailing and failing the past decade of my life, I've accumulated a bit of "life wisdom for perfectionists," so to speak.
So here are my biggest tips to tackle your perfectionism, in life, career, and beyond!
https://www.chaoticcourage.com/blog/10-ways-to-overcome-your-perfectionism
10 Ways To Overcome Your Perfectionism — Chaotic Courage | Coaching for Ambitious Introverts Perfectionism isn’t a lifelong sentence. You CAN overcome it… hell, maybe you’ll even start LOVING failure! (Seriously, I’m not kidding.) So here are 10 of my best tips for tackling perfectionism!
I’ve learned so much from you, mom ❤️
Everyone, meet the incredible and amazing woman who raised me!
She showed me what it looks like to be strong and steadfast in your beliefs.
She taught me that persistence and determination in the face of adversity pays off.
She taught me that there’s ALWAYS a solution. Always. (And if anyone can find that solution, it’s Simone Feldman.)
She taught me the hard lessons. Like what happens when you don’t think things through. How to handle people who are different than you (including herself lol). What you need to do when s**t hits the fan.
She let me learn my own lessons. Despite how hard I was on her (Damn, was I an annoying teenager!), she ultimately gave me the space to learn before I came crying back to her for help 🤣
She supports me through EVERYTHING.
When I was failing a class, she helped me figure out how to communicate with the professor so I could work something out.
When I had NO money to pay bills in LA, she loaned some to me and let me pay her back over time.
When I wanted to start my own business, she gave me shelter, food, safety and space to do it on my own and without too much pressure.
We’ve butt heads so many times.
But through it all, I love my mom more than anything. I couldn’t ask for a better teammate in life.
Thanks for being my best friend, mom ❤️ You are the reason I’m who I am today and the reason I will succeed, without a doubt.
Happy Mother’s Day, to my mom, your mom, and all the mothers and mother-like figures out there who support, nurture and build families and communities. You are loved and appreciated ❤️
Let me curse in peace, alright? 🤷♀️ Unless you plan to work with me, and I WANT to work with you, your opinion on my language is irrelevant 💅🏻
(As it so happens, my clients love it. So... it’s actually GETTING me business? How bizarre, right?)
😎🎤
Do not let those who abandoned you control you.❤️
To quote one of my favorite Kelly Clarkson songs...
“Piece by piece, I fell far from the tree
I will never leave her like you left me
And she will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you, I'm gonna put her first.“
When I hear this song, I think about my future child. And also myself.
I think about a terrified little girl who felt abandoned. Who was tricked and traumatized.
Who had to live with the reminder that she looked more like the horrible man who hurt her family than the strong woman who built it back up.
Who lives with an anger she can never quell and a deep desire to prove her worth in an ill-conceived revenge plot.
Have you had someone hurt you so bad like that?
I got lucky and found a GOOD father (hi Dad!!). A real one. But the anxiousness and anger never leave.
I always feel like I have to prove my worth.
But no fu***ng more.
You amazing and incredible women reading this, you have nothing to prove.
Put yourself first anyway.
Treat yourself as you would your own child.
Remind yourself how worthy you are of the money you choose to spend, the breaks you take, the dreams you have.
Even if you fail. Even if you have no physical proof to give others. Even if they scoff in your face.
Never abandon yourself, please.
Push yourself. Give yourself all the chances in the world. Support yourself. Stand up for yourself. Nurture yourself.
And then pass that on to YOUR family and community. So they can also learn the importance of loving themselves first. So they can be healthy, independent and free.
Put everything you have into you. Boldly and bravely.
No one else can do what you can do for yourself. And you cannot do what others can do for themselves either.
So hop on that waitlist for the Bold, Brave Boss Getaway because I'm ready to push you all to be the best you possible and prove those f**kers wrong.
Are YOU ready for it?! Link in my bio ✨
Being authentic is both natural AND conscious! ✨
A lot of people assume being you is something that just "comes to you." It should feel easy, right? 🤔
Your natural state of being (aka what feels comfortable to you) is "authentic," right?
Sorry to say, but no. And here's why...👀
Many of us learned a lot of harmful habits from society, and they've become somewhat natural!
So we end up having to do a LOT of trial-and-error and soul-searching to "find ourselves" again.
😖As it turns out, “being you" is actually DAMN DIFFICULT.😖
Being a unique YOU in a world that prizes blending in DOES feel awkward, uncomfortable, and scary.
So here's what you can do:
1️⃣Temperature Check
Does something feel off? If so, what?
2️⃣Reflect
Who do you BELIEVE you are? Who would you LIKE to be? What would you LOVE to be doing/feeling? How can you get there?
3️⃣Trial-and-error
Try lots of new things to see what works! Give it some time to work for you, and constantly reevaluate.
4️⃣Rinse and Repeat
Keep going through this process!
Truth is...
👉🏻You're going to be scared by trying new things.
👉🏻You might avoid trying the things you REALLY want to try because of fear.
👉🏻You might even give up too quickly on new things because “they aren't working” quickly enough.
But just like working out to build muscle, it takes TIME to see results.
⏰And it'll take TIME to understand who you are WITHOUT society's expectations and experiences weighing you down!
If this seems daunting to you, I've got you covered.
The Bold, Brave Boss Getaway will help push you to take those first steps and give you a BRAVE action plan!
Link in bio to get on the waitlist for $50 off 😎
💯 ❤️ 🌱
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