Dana Fillmore Psy.D.
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We need to feel truly heard.
By repeatedly focusing on the pain from a past experience, you continue to relive it and often times expand upon it. Not only do you allow the pain from the past to continue to damage the relationship, you choose to let it repeatedly damage you.
And this lack of responsibility doesn’t help them forgive you. Accepting responsibility is an essential component to an effective apology.
This often has to do with pride, it sometimes has to do with needing to be right, but just as often it Hass to do with the other persons inability to gracefully except a concession.
Gracefully excepting a concession is not always easy but it is very simple and moves you forward in resolving most conflicts in a relationship.
It won’t.
Tone matters.
Laughing at ourselves and our situation is lightens things up. We have got to be able to laugh at ourselves, and the situations we sometimes find ourselves in.