G.P. Halette

Look forward to the sunsets... you will soon find peace.

Oh, a love like this.

Bliss will come.

I once thought that maybe I deserved a love that was only reciprocated on days when I was happy and contented with only just a small amount of affection.

Because I thought that was what I should only receive—that I did not even realize that I was already lowering my expectations every time you make me feel that I wasn't worthy.

I now realized that I shouldn't have questioned my worth, but instead questioned you on why you made me feel that way—unloved and taken for granted.

I have fallen in love with rainy days—because unlike people, the rain witnessed my weaknesses and the days where I felt helpless and the pleas I have spoken, and the tears I have shed.

The rain was my comfort in days where I felt alone and lonely—the droplets were my refuge as I watch them splatter on the window pane, hiding the silent sobs I wish no one heard when I was inside my bedroom.

I never thought the days during the rain would be where I could confide the things that are better left unsaid, and letters that I never sent. And when the rain has finally ended—it felt like a sigh of relief for all the days where I kept my sufferings a secret, and let my smiles cover my sadness.

But that doesn’t mean I stopped believing in people.

I know that there are people who’d choose to stay even in your darkest days—despite of the days where you feel like you’re at your lowest, and life seems to be getting duller and duller every day.

There are people who’d still choose to see the light that made you radiant, even when you feel like you’re never going to leave the darkness.

They’ll choose to stay—unlike the rain.

The moment I realized that not everyone will love and appreciate you, that was probably the day I learned how to build the walls that surrounded me. I considered it my safe space—despite it sometimes being my own nightmare everytime I wake up, or it’d feel suffocating and I can’t ask anyone for help but only myself.

I have learned to keep it all to myself. I grew up in a world where trusting people can be deemed as a mistake, and being vocal with your thoughts makes you a noise.

How come we’ve come to a point where we have to be scared of our own thoughts? Where we can’t even talk freely about what hurts us and what does not—as if it was made to make us feel that we have to be controlled.

And that’s when we realized we were robbed even of the slights of what they call ‘bare minimum.’

It’s unfair—it’s so unfair that we offer so much love in a world filled with trauma that we overlook the signs and mistake them as sincerity—even with a heart filled with thorns.

And we can’t even ask anyone for saving but only ourselves.

Funny enough how it can be so unfair that they leave us confused and dumb-founded, yet at the end of the day, we’re the ones who should be responsible for our own healing.

The world had never been better—and it only progressed to become worse.

all too well // inspired-piece from Taylor Swift’s all too well 10-min versh.

**

I would admit—I have always been an indecisive person that I could never really recount all the mistakes I made, just because I thought one decision would end up for the better, only for the outcomes to be awful—and I have no one else to blame but myself anyway.

Yet, by then I learned that mistakes are lessons that we bring along as we grow older—so we won't commit the same mistakes in the future. We'd regret them one way or another, but at some point, it's something we could ponder over just so we could put up these walls to protect ourselves from that regret we once thought would never end.

I mean—yeah, at some point, regrets never just really end, you just finally get a grip of it and learn how to live along and grow from it.

But sometimes, there are regrets that turn into seedlings and grow into something much bigger than we ever thought.

And that's where you come into the picture.

I'd still regret everything I said—from the first time I finally got to admit to myself that it might probably be okay to break down the walls I built to protect myself from other people, to the first time the regrets inside of my heart grow only to bear more regrets than there were.

Your shadows were my regrets, and your lies were my bitter outcries trying to escape from the dungeon you kept me in.

No, I don't hate you anymore. But I'd still ponder upon the what ifs that I've had ever since you became the reason of my isolation.

The 'what if I chose to pass by your shadow instead of acknowledging your existence?'

'What if I put on a stronger mask instead of showing how pathetic I could be around your fingers?'

Funny how I grew up with a lot of regrets, but that's when I learned putting up walls—yet my biggest regret is trying to up with the toxicity you brought I thought was love that I ended up building more walls around me—inside was a trauma I didn't know when would end.

And I still carry all to these day—all too well.

sometimes we crave for things that hurt us.

until when will they knock on my door, uninvited?

💖

My love,

I still have not met you for many reasons if you’ll ask. I did meet people who weren’t even past the standards, but let’s not even talk about that. You’re probably laughing now! But I am, too. Because what are the chances that it’d be you?

I do not think of love as a substitute when waves come crashing over my shore with sadness and chaos—love is tranquil; just like the sun setting on the horizon as stars slowly appear on the sky, glistening like glittered-dots. Love is warmth, like the lambent rays of the sun, touching my skin as I feel its embrace. I may have had misunderstood love for something else where I thought it’s all about giving, only to receive nothing in return—and when all that’s left is none, I realized, I may have given too much, that I lost myself in the process.

My love, even if I have not met you, I wish you are peace. My mind is chaotic; there would be times where I’d rather go on a blank slate instead of speaking; I’d rather write my words because I often forget what to say. I hope you’d be understanding of how sometimes the world seems to be ocean, and I feel like I’m drowning.

I won’t be asking for you to save me—I can do that myself. It’s harder when I get so dependent on you; it’s better when we’re both growing for each other.

My love in the future, I hope you’d understand our differences. We might end up becoming like poles of different ends, and I hope that’d make us stick even more.

It’d get hard. And harsh. And lonely. But maybe with you, all the thoughts would disappear.

We’ll get to meet new people, but I hope when the time is right, I’ll finally meet you and say that it’s finally right.

Hello! I’m Jinet—a Wattpad writer and a Wattpad Star! I mostly write about slice of life, romance and giving it my own twist of fiction. Most of my stories are unedited, but I hope you can all give it a try!

Gunita
- Romance, Law and Medical (This novel went under rigorous researches although there are still a lot of flaws)
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/176540148-gunita-wattys2019-winner

By Chance
- Romance (soon to be published! Order here for a better version of the novel: https://www.cognitoforms.com/KPubPH/ByChanceByGuaninejwlOrderForm)

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/146851434-by-chance-wattys2020-winner

At Long Last, Peace (MedTech Series #1)
- Slice of Life
- https://www.wattpad.com/story/238996652-at-long-last-peace

I hope you can give my stories a try! 💛

but then you became my downside—a side effect—and that was the hardest pill for me to swallow.

You have fought battles you never thought you’d survive. Don’t give up now.

Your courage will take you places.

Patawad kung pinili kong unahin ka dahil alam ko kung ga’no kabigat ang gabi tuwing walang makausap kung pakiramdam mo’y pasan mo ang mundo.

Wala ka rin kasi no’ng mga panahong kailangan ko ng makakausap dahil natatakot ako.

Hanggang ngayon, iniisip ko pa rin na sana inuna ko na lang ang sarili ko.

Cinematic narratives //

“Sinubukan kong hanapin kung sa’n tayo nagkamali. Nalaman ko na… ako lang pala ‘yung nagmamahal.”

May the stars shine on your darkest,
and may the tears you shed light your path—
that even when you feel like losing yourself
on days that seem to be the hardest;
that even when your eyes can’t shed tears
nor sobs can’t escape your mouth,
but only you tremble in fear and sorrow—
and no one else would be there but your own.
say you’re never alone—
and you’ll eventually find yourself home—
once lost, now found.

Hi! This is Gwy!

We’re reaching 800 likes, yay! I still am busy as heck with acads and stuff, but I still remember this page naman HAHAHA.

Anyway, I won’t just be the sole handler of this page! I added a friend of mine and he’ll be posting his works here rin soon. 💛

Here’s some blackout poetry i did for art app. ☺️

I have come past the stage of begging for someone else’s apologies the moment I realize that not everyone can give you one whole-heartedly. I realized that... half-baked apologies are much painful than ones that were never said.

Sometimes sorry becomes a word as an escape from the responsibilities people need to own up to—it becomes a reason for unsolicited reconciliations or the guilt of having to make the person own up to their mistakes just because you are hurting.

You had to release that pain.

You need that apology, I know.

But you deserve better than that.

We all deserve apologies from the people who made us feel unworthy... because I know, you tried so hard to protect yourself from this wicked world only for them to break it within seconds.

But don’t let it lock you up in the past as the memories of hatred, agony, happiness, and everything else combined linger in your thoughts, making you want to believe that maybe once you hear those empty words everything just magically comes back to normal.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I let myself get victimized with the thought that apologies are meant to be sincere, only for me to realize that nowadays?

Sorry means nothing.

And if you have to beg for it?

You’re just letting them break you even more.

Nagkamali sila—hindi masaya ang umibig.

Hindi masayang umibig sa mga araw na hindi ko rin maibig ang sarili ko’t do’n ka kusang lumalayo, dahil ang akala mo’y hindi kita kailangan dahil pareho lamang tayong malulunod sa agos ng alon—sa gitna ng karagatan. Ngunit, hindi ko kinailangan ng tulong mo habang inaayos ang sarili ko—kailangan ko lamang maramdaman na nandiyan ka.

Ngunit sa mga oras na kailangan kita, saka ka rin nawala.

Sa libo-libong duda... ni isa’y walang mahanap na kasiguraduhan. Napakaraming tanong, ni hindi ko mahanap ang kasagutan.

Kaya’t gaano ba kaliit ang mundo na sa dinami-rami ng tao, sa iyo ako dinala?

Hindi masaya ang umibig.

Dahil hindi ka pag-ibig na nais ibigay ang lahat.

Pag-ibig ka lamang kapag ako’y masaya;

Pag-ibig ka lamang kapag ako’y hindi natutulala;

Pag-ibig ka lamang kapag sa tingin mo ako’y sapat.

Kaya’t hindi masaya ang umibig sa pag-ibig na hindi naman kaibig-ibig.

Sa Pagtangis ng Langit

May pagod sa mga mata
Nang subukan kong apuhapin ang pag-asa— hapong-hapo na tila ‘di mawari ang kinabukasan;
hapag na ‘di man lang mapunan ng isang pinggan ng ulam.
Malalim na mga paghinga,
Paghingang hindi mawari kung nais na lamang pigilan,
--hindi makalaya sa tanikala,
Tila nakakulong sa hawla—
Parang ibon na naghahanap ng kalayaan.

Mga kamay kong sugataan na dahil sinubukang pumiglas—
Araw-araw ang damdami’y umaalpas,
Hindi ko mawari ang kinabukasan kung naroon ako, Maging ang bukas kung humihinga pa ba’ko—
Pilit mang ilabas ang saloobin,
Nakakatakot, nangangamba,
Baka bukas ako na lang ay bumulagta.
Hindi ako alipin ng sarili kong bayan,
Isa akong mamamayan—
Ngunit bakit tila ako’y nakakulong sa konstitusyong
Mayayaman lamang ang nakikinabang?
Dahil ba ako’y nasa laylayan?
Walang kapangyarihan—
walang silbi kundi pamparami lang ng bilang.
Bakit kailangan kong magmakaawa sa bayan kong sinilangan?

Sa bawat pagtangis ng langit,
Kasabay ay ang panibagong araw kay pait. Kung bukas ay bawian ng buhay—
Batid kong hindi mamamatay sa dangal—
Dahil dito
Kasalanan
ang
kahirapan.

Listen to my song: Silakbo

https://promocards.byspotify.com/share/9979081abcb0a34abdafad69265798686f6c2d68

Silakbo Check this out! Listen now on .

Hindi ko na mabilang ang mga araw na lupaypay na lamang akong napatitig sa kisame—sinusubukang pigilan ang pagpatak ng mga luha, ngunit tinataksil din ako ng sarili kong mga damdamin. Pilit silang kumawala mula sa’king mga mata—rumaragasa, ni ayaw magpaawat. Sa bawat hikbi ay katumbas ng lungkot at takot sa kung ano ang maaaring datnan bukas. May galit sa sarili kong tinatanong kung kakayanin pa ba, kung kaya pa ba... kung gusto ko pa ba ang ginagawa ko sa araw-araw.

Buntonghininga.

Pagod. Takot. Lungkot.

Hindi ko alam kung saang banda hahanapin sa sarili ‘yung pagkanais na magpatuloy. Nakakapagod—ni hindi sapat ang salitang nakakapagod, ni hindi sapat ang pag-agos ng mga luha, ni hindi sapat ang mga paghikbi. Nais ko na lamang huminto dahil hindi ko alam kung tama pa nga bang ipilit.

Pero sinusubukan, susubukan, paulit-ulit kong susubukan dahil may pangarap akong hinahabol. Paulit-ulit mang nadadapa, ngunit babangon. Hindi naman sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay tuwid lang ang daan. Hindi magaan ang takbuhin patungo sa pangarap—kaya ayos lang huminga.

Ayos lang huminto—nakakapagod talaga ang mundo.

Huminga ka muna saglit hanggang sa tingin mo kaya mo na ulit.

Karera ang buhay—ngunit hindi ito paunahan. ‘Wag kang matakot kung saglit na mapag-iwanan.

Ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang magpapasya kung kailan ka tatakbong muli para abutin ang pangarap na sinimulan.

Been a week since ’s release! Stream it here! https://open.spotify.com/album/1zWToChODgnKwqGlh5CSdX?si=FvQcxuRsTm6SNhgx6KNMhQ

This song’s about despite of your emotional outbursts—you won’t let your thoughts and the entire world to pull you down—‘di patatalo kahit may kabiguan. 💛

Posted a new cover on my Youtube channel! Check it here: https://youtu.be/vnvKPH_3uZQ

I hated checking my Facebook memories because it somehow meant seeing how badly I was in between hatred and confusion. My proses back then were symbols of days when I wanted to free myself from the shackles of prolonging my agony, but somehow, I still wanted to mend broken pieces as if broken shards of glass—I knew I can’t fix it anymore. . . I just wanted to try.

Day by day, I see how my proses and poems seemed to be notes for someone to help and rescue me from drowning too much. I, too, had mistakes and maybe the biggest of them all was still trying to patch something that was meant to perish after all.

All I could think about was saving, and saving. Maybe you, that I was focusing on you before I, that maybe I lost myself in the process—or I did lose myself in the process; on days where I felt invalidated, on days where I did not feel worth it, on days where I felt helpless, on days where I can’t even recognize myself.

To be honest, there are still words I still cannot seem to tell, or emotions I can’t write through my thoughts—but after all that’s happened, there’d be times I’d just get gloomy, thinking where I went wrong; angry, thinking why I let myself go through that agony; thankful because there were things that I realized—maybe to just stop being too kind. There were times where I thought hurting someone else through my words were enough to alleviate the pain they made me went through, and maybe then they’d realize how bad I had to go through the phases I did just to find my own healing.

Still, I realized I cannot blame anyone for my own decisions, that’s the truth I can’t seem to handle back then. I seemed too indecisive, that I had to find someone else to blame for my own reckless, impulsive, bad decisions I made for the thoughts that seem to never escape my mind; for all the what-ifs I had to go through.

I come in peace. . . that in this prose, I have finally found my tranquil; I have come to realize that I don’t ever have to blatantly blame someone else, nor blame myself, too, for feeling the emotions I couldn’t control because I was held captive with anger, agony, and anxiety.

For all it’s worth, I’m letting it all go.

I’m finally out of the storm, and now here I am enjoying the bliss.

My love,

I still have not met you for many reasons if you’ll ask. I did meet people who weren’t even past the standards, but let’s not even talk about that. You’re probably laughing now! But I am, too. Because what are the chances that it’d be you?

I do not think of love as a substitute when waves come crashing over my shore with sadness and chaos—love is tranquil; just like the sun setting on the horizon as stars slowly appear on the sky, glistening like glittered-dots. Love is warmth, like the lambent rays of the sun, touching my skin as I feel its embrace. I may have had misunderstood love for something else where I thought it’s all about giving, only to receive nothing in return—and when all that’s left is none, I realized, I may have given too much, that I lost myself in the process.

My love, even if I have not met you, I wish you are peace. My mind is chaotic; there would be times where I’d rather go on a blank slate instead of speaking; I’d rather write my words because I often forget what to say. I hope you’d be understanding of how sometimes the world seems to be ocean, and I feel like I’m drowning.

I won’t be asking for you to save me—I can do that myself. It’s harder when I get so dependent on you; it’s better when we’re both growing for each other.

My love in the future, I hope you’d understand our differences. We might end up becoming like poles of different ends, and I hope that’d make us stick even more.

It’d get hard. And harsh. And lonely. But maybe with you, all the thoughts would disappear.

We’ll get to meet new people, but I hope when the time is right, I’ll finally meet you and say that it’s finally right.

Healing has arrived.

**

I’m back!

I almost wanted to discontinue this page as I have been losing the will to write again, but taking a little break brought me back to what I’ve always loved ever since.

To more proses and poems. :>

And thank you! Almost 600 likes. 💛

Something ✨ sad ✨ for a gloomy weather. Listen to Kwerdas.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5SQDv9j69Is

kuwerdas | original song Another original song. :)Hello everyone! This was written yesterday, ze hooman had a writer’s block while writing her novel’s 51st chapter so I decided to wr...

Listen to my 18th birthday song entitled Home ✨ I did everything in this video from recording to editing the whole music video! 💛

Check it out: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7xtUxJFWZJ0

Home | own composition Hello everyone! This is actually a long overdue video since this was supposed to be posted last July for my 18th birthday--but due to some circumstances, I w...

“I’m okay. If not now... someday.”

“When will that be?”

“When freedom doesn’t cost my happiness anymore.”

Gunita | Excerpts

Read the novel here: https://my.w.tt/uOyb5nnbscb

bumangon ka’t salubungin ang bukas,
singilin ang ninakaw sa’yo‘t manalig—
na may panibagong pag-asang sisibol—
’di na paaapi.

Umaga na naman—panibagong araw para lumaban ulit. Sa bawat pagmulat ng mga mata, may mga araw rin na napatanong ako sa’king sarili kung dapat pa nga ba akong lumaban—madalas nakakapagod; parang minsa’y wala na ring dahilan para bumangon... pero babangon ka, magtitimpla ng kape na parang hindi sumagi sa isip kahit sandali na itigil na.

Hindi ka titigil.

May mga araw man na masasagupa na nais mo na lamang lumakad sa ulanan. May mga araw man na nakakapagod at nais mo na lamang tumigil nang pangmatagalan. Hindi kita masisisi—hindi madali ang mabuhay. Hindi madaling lumaban nang paulit-ulit, at matalo pa rin.

Ngunit panalo ka ngayon. Pinili mong magpatuloy. Bumangon—kagaya ng pagsilip ng panibagong umaga pagkatapos ng saglit na pagdilim ng kalangitan.

Madilim man ngayon ngunit darating din ang liwanag—mapapagod ang isipin, madalas ay luluha, ngunit lalabang muli.

Bangon.

Darating ang iyong umaga—hindi man ngayon.

Puhon.

— a commissioned piece.

the tides are no longer rising to drown me;
the waves have calmed down.
i have finally found the place that i’ve been longing—
the tranquility in the midst of my wrath;
healing has arrived.

CELEBRATE SMALL SUCCESS!

Hello everyone! I’m so thankful for everyone who has liked and follow this page, we’ve finally reached 500 within just a span of five days! 🥺 I couldn’t be even more grateful—crying happy tears! UwU

To celebrate this small success, my inbox is open to accept your proses and poems! 🤗

Thank you so much everyone!

The sad days are far from being over—it’s a never-ending cycle, I think. Sadness has been engulfing me inside its own little bubble as if anatomy personified—phagocytosis.

There weren’t dead-ends... just re-routes. There would be days that a casual walk would suddenly turn disastrous, and here I am again—taking the re-route to self-doubts and inferiority... and the never-ending pathway of overthinking—when you realize that one way or another, you’re probably the villain in somebody else’s story.

But I wish that people would stop assuming when they don’t have any idea—even an inkling—of what you’ve been through. . . Then maybe... the world will be a better place.

matutunan mo sanang ibigin ang sarili mo,
kahit sa mga panahong
hindi mo na mahanap ang dahilan.