Sarah4autism
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sarah4autism seeks to provide encouragement, tips and resources for families of young children with Autism in Nigeria.Sarah is here to guide you on how to nurture your kids into independence, through practical activities, at home, one baby step at a time
“The defensive brain is spending so much energy trying to protect itself that it often has little left for learning. When we don’t feel safe, accepted, and competent, we have one eye wide open for any possible threat, and one foot turned away to quickly escape if needed. Safety is the brain’s priority. It will take precedence over learning. We must feel safe and secure to be receptive to learning.
When the child is not doing well, assume the child may feel unsafe, insecure, overwhelmed, and inadequate. More than likely, we are placing the child in a situation where the expectations are greater than his perceived abilities for dealing with them. Back up, temporarily lower the demands, offer greater assistance, and provide greater support. By doing so, the child experiences greater success, feels more confident tackling challenges, and learns to trust following our lead.”
Love. Understand. Accept. Include. Support.
“Focus on strengths and skills
Regardless of the “different” behaviors that may bother us, learn to accept the child and his uniqueness and focus on facilitating engagement in all kinds of positive learning in his day (self-care skills, leisure skills, community skills, etc.}. As the child grows, many of these behaviors decrease in importance as the child becomes much more competent. The more competent the child becomes in all areas of living, and when we focus on their strengths and interests, the “autism” negative behaviors either decrease or are not interpreted as negative anymore.
Focus less on what we don’t want them to do and more on what we want the children to do! Build competence, and the rest takes care of itself over time.”
Sometimes we think our children are not making progress but they are, we may just not remember. Preserve your child's progress and milestones by writing them down.✍️
Writing may seem "old school" in our modern world, but it is a good way to preserve our children's progress/milestones by writing about them as they happen.
As you work with your child this School year, write down their progress so you don't forget. You can use a journal 📔or diary or a gratitude jar🙏🏾 (I got this idea from and I liked it). When you notice any progress or milestone for your child, write the date and the progress made in your journal or on a post-it note and keep in the gratitude jar.
Even though I haven't been very consistent with keeping a journal, whenever I am worried about my children's progress, I read my journal or old School progress reports to see how far they have come. I always feel better after doing that😊. I plan to read the post-it-notes in my gratitude jar at the end of the year.
Preserving your child's progress/milestones is a good reminder that your child "CAN" and "WILL".
P.S. Remember small progress is still progress.
Keep doing the best you can to help your child be the best they can be.💙
Nigeria
Now that you and your child have settled into School routine, it is a good time to set some goals for the School year, if you haven't done so already.
During the summer🌞break, did you notice any functional life skills you will like your child introduced to/improve on? If yes, pick 1 or 2 to focus on. I have a 10-part posts series on "Teaching your Child's Functional Life Skills" - see the "Teaching Skills" highlights on my profile page. I will also put up the posts on my Instagram stories.
Also, review your child's Progress Report/Report Card from the last School year for any "Areas for Improvement” noted by the teacher/therapist. Choose 1 or 2 skills you will like to work on with your child at home to support what he learns in School.
Once you have identified the goals, create a realistic plan📝 to help you achieve them. Will you dedicate some time⏰ daily or weekly? Will you work with your child yourself or will you rather outsource some or all of it to a family member, help, lesson teacher, tutor 👨🏫etc? How will you review and monitor progress to ensure you are on track?
Please make the plan realistic so you are not overwhelmed or frustrated. A few tips:
📌If weekdays are not feasible for you, plan for the weekends or holidays. Remember, “little by little, a little becomes a lot” - it may be easier/less overwhelming (for you and your child) to find small blocks of time (say 15/20mins) daily, rather than 1hour at the weekend.
📌If the skill is an academic skill and you know you may not have the patience, can an older sibling/cousin help?
📌You don't have to do it all, it is okay to ask for and accept help.
📌Life happens - we get busy or tired, so don't beat yourself up if you fall behind on your plans. Pick up where you left off - don't get discouraged.
🥂This is to you setting goals for the School year and smashing them!👊🏽💪
Keep doing the best you can to help your child be the best he can be. 💙💙💙
Nigeria
16/09/2021
Do you find yourself prompting🗣 your child a lot in the morning for School? "We need to take a bath before eating". "Please put on your shoes." "Where is your School bag?"
A morning routine checklist may help you minimize verbal reminders (prompts) to your child and also increase your child's level of independence over time. Speech Therapists say verbal prompts are the most difficult prompts to fade. We want our children to be able to perform functional life skills in our absence, so we don't want them dependent on our voices or guidance. (I will put up my posts on prompting in my Instagram stories).
A good morning starts from the night before, so a bedtime routine checklist will also be great.
Depending on your child's level of independence, understanding and language skills, the checklists can be visual, text, or a mix of pictures and words. Please swipe left ⬅️ to see some pictures for inspiration.
The checklists don't have to be fancy, you can write/draw on dry erase boards/cardboard paper, print on paper, use pictures from the internet or take real pictures. The important thing is that it reflects your child's routine and will work for your child.
I like the routine checklists by ( last picture). I think it will be engaging and rewarding for the child to move the task from 'To-Do" to "Done". You can head to her website https://whatmomslove.com/kids/printable-morning-routine-chart/ and have the printable routine chart and picture cards sent to your email.
Hoping you have more relaxing evenings 🛀 and stress-free mornings☕️.
📸routine chart pictures from pinterest
12/09/2021
As our children begin the new School Year, in-person, online or a hybrid, let us commit them into God's hands.🙏🏾
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This Bible Plan by provides 5 encouraging devotions we can pray for our children.
1. God, protect our children
2. God, we want you in the routine
3. God, help our children dream big
4. God, help our children shine for you
5. God, help our children be wise
You can read it online https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/12591-back-to-school-prayers-for-parents OR download the app.
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We also pray for strength, diligence and creativity for all School Administrators & Support Staff, Teachers and Caregivers. 🙏🏾
10/09/2021
Decision fatigue is that weary feeling you get after being faced with too many decisions. What do we have for breakfast? Is that a healthy meal option? Are the kids' shoes cleaned for School? Does he have swimming or piano lessons tomorrow? Arggh!😫
As the kids head back to School, I hope you will be able to reduce/eliminate decision fatigue with these tips:
🍳Meals: It is okay to alternate between 2/3 healthy breakfast & lunch options. Decide what those options are ahead & repeat as required during the week days. You can serve more variety for dinner and at the weekends.
💇♂️Hair: Have 1/2 go-to hairstyles/ haircuts. Jazz the girls’ hair with different hair accessories - no one will notice it is the same hairstyle.😁
🩳Clothes: If your child wears uniform, good for you! If not, take some time to organize your child's wardrobe so that everything is appropriate no matter what they pick. You can have different areas/levels in the wardrobe, arranged by category - tops🎽, bottoms👖, underwear🩲, socks🧦 etc, for School, Home or Outings. OR, every weekend, pick out the clothes for the week. Involve your child in the process to foster independence.
🏊♂️Activities: Do a visual schedule of activities so you know what to pack for each day - 🏊swimming bag on Mondays, 🤸♂️gym clothes on Tuesdays, 🩰ballet outfit for Wednesdays etc. The visual schedule will help your child know what activity they have for the day and they may be responsible for packing the bag or even remind you if you make a mistake.
🚘Ride to School: Despite our best laid out plans, there will be those days when we are in the car and we forgot something.😉Fret not - "Emergency Purse" to the rescue. Have an "Emergency Purse" in your bag or car to contain hand cream/hair cream/comb/masks/sanitizers etc, or whatever you/your child usually forget.
There you go - you can have a smooth morning & relaxed evening.🧘♀️ Plus, you can spend the time saved on self care for yourself or to work with your child.
Cheers to a great School Year!🥂
Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Yes you-you are awesome!!👌👍👊🏽🤗
29/07/2021
Do you want your child to be normal or happy? I think at the end of the day, every parent wants their child to be happy and fulfilled.
"For many parents of children with Autism, we often focus more on the child’s deficits and symptoms than on their strengths and preferences. Since their preferences are often odd or not age-appropriate, we try to steer the child into more common interests. What is different from the norm is not worthy. What is closest to the norm is a worthy target. However, if you listen to children and adults on the spectrum, trying to be normal does not create happiness!
The Autistic brain is wired differently- they experience the world and value things a little differently. Therefore, trying to shape these children & adults into something they are not creates frustration and low self-esteem, not happiness and fulfillment.
Yes, when you are a stranger in a strange land, you must learn the customs and social rules needed to blend in and co-exist without losing your identity, values, strengths, and preferences. Just like minority cultures learn to adapt to a different land, they still value and celebrate their own culture and customs.
Yes, we need to teach our children life skills and how to cope with the world around them, but we must also allow them space and time to be themselves, value their differences, and celebrate their uniqueness. We will find that at the end of the road, everyone is happier and fulfilled.
Bill Nason, a Professional with over 40 years experience working with children & families with special needs in various settings say this: "the children I have seen grow and develop into happy, healthy adults are those whose parents valued their uniqueness, placed less emphasis on changing them, and focused on celebrating their differences and supporting their strengths and preferences."
ALL children grow in settings where they feel understood, accepted, and valued for who they are, where their differences are not seen as faults or weaknesses but a different set of strengths and preferences."
Accept. Love, Understand. Include. Support.💙
📖 “The Autism Discussion Page on stress, anxiety, shutdowns and meltdowns”
🖥️: Autism Discussion Page
Autism consists of perceptual, processing, and thinking differences; a different way of perceiving and experiencing the world.
The only way we can support all people is to stop labeling behavior and understand how the person thinks, feels, and processes the world.
Autism is not a behavioral disorder but a package of complex processing differences. It is a different human condition, not a set of behavioral symptoms. We need to assess the person’s unique ways of perceiving and processing the world and build comprehensive plans, not to extinguish and shape behaviors, but support the individual challenges (sensory, cognitive, social, and emotional struggles.)
01/07/2021
It is common for children (and adults) with Autism to behave in ways that are difficult to understand and manage. However before we jump in and try to change those behaviors, it is important to take time to understand how the child is experiencing a situation and the meaning the behavior has for them.
If a child insists on a particular routine and gets upset when that routine is changed, we should ask ourselves why they are upset-is it to have some predictability or sense of control of their day or to feel safe in a confusing situation?
If a child gets uncooperative and cranky at a particular time of the day, is it because they are tired or hungry?
If a child constantly likes to feel or touch particular surfaces or objects, is it to meet a sensory need?
When we take the time to understand and validate their needs, we are telling the child we understand their needs and we will help them find a better and more appropriate way to meet those needs.
The question then is, how do we understand? Through observation! Maria Montessori says "When dealing with children, there is a greater need for observing than probing". She observed that when we actually observe the child, without judgement, and take a moment to understand how they move and communicate in their environments, we learn far more than even the child can explain to us. This is why observation is a Montessorian's most powerful tool - it helps the adult determine what to do next for the child.
When we understand and validate first, our strategy to change the challenging behaviour will likely be more successful.
Love. Understand. Accept. Include. Support 💙
📘 The Autism Discussion Page -On the core challenges of Autism by Bill Nason
Nigeria
How to help the Autistic brain adapt to a dynamic world.
24/05/2021
You are doing great! Keep doing the best you can to help your child be the best he can be. 💙👊🏾
13/05/2021
Warm wishes to you and the family. Wishing you a Happy Eid! Barka da Sallah!
10/05/2021
I believe that EVERY child has gifts, strengths and preferences that make them unique.
Perhaps if we focus more on those gifts, strengths and preferences, we can help the child develop them up to the point where they can use those gifts & strengths to compensate for their weaknesses.
I was delighted to read about Oreofe, a former student and current staff of who is the lead actor in the movie "A Tune Away". in the last episode of the "Can we thrive with Autism" series, mentioned that the movie producer commented that Oreofe has a photographic memory - he was able to remember all his scripts, even better than some seasoned actors.🙌👏👍👌
I am positive that if we identify and glory in the gifts of people with special needs, instead of trying so much to change who they are, we will help them thrive and become the best they can be.💙
P.S. Please be sure to watch the movie "A Tune Away" when it hits the cinemas.
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