Air Fairy Kitchen Witch

I've spent my entire life trying to be better than I am. Because no matter that I devoted every last ounce of my energy to being a "good kid," I was never good enough at home, could inherently never be good enough at church, and whether I was good enough at school depended on whether or not the teacher liked me. It was exhausting, and by the age of 20 I was burnt out.

Dramatically changing my life at 28 (the age of my Call to Adventure), I experimented with the concepts that "I am enough" and "My own happiness matters." Before that, my own happiness wasn't even on the list. It was an incidental result of getting approval from some authority figure. Sometimes from having enough free time to do something that mattered to just me.

Most of my happiest memories are from being alone. I didn't have to level with anyone else's expectations. I got to pursue what I cared about--music, food, design, crafting, books, the Sims: my magic practice. These were the moments I formed my Self.

I'm still most comfortable alone, when I feel I can meet my own needs and, moment by moment, choose my own destiny. I am passionately pursuing the ability to make those choices with other people around. It is an uphill battle believing myself to be worthy of the effort and letting go of the guilt that guides my instincts. But this is the hill I die on.

I *am* enough. I *am* worthy. I *am* lovable. And I can love myself.

My Channel was a Bit Ableist When I Started Thank you to Sunsama for sponsoring this video! Check them out and click my link: https://get.sunsama.com/a/howtoadhdInternalized ableism is a mostly invisib...