Pens and Paper Planes

the same day
the year before
a promise was made
even if everything is unsure

i took it by heart
kept it in my mind
a fresh start
i became unblind

the road was rough,
almost fell a lot of times
though it is tough
you held me, stayed beside

together, we saw the rain
how it fell and almost drowned us
bound and chained
but we went past that

together, we saw the sun
how it went up and shined its light
tomorrow has begun
everything is worth the fight

every season of life
nothing changed
under the skies
i am still writing every page

until the ink runs out
until the papers are wrinkled
even in silence it will still be loud
the feelings that i have settled

the years may pass
but the love will never grow old
the world may stop
but to us, i will forever hold.

i walked quietly
staring at you closely
as our intertwined hands swayed,
all my feelings bared

i saw as our shadows,
grew under the willow
no melancholy
just the beautiful music of serenity

it was a long time,
walking on a thin line
but i finally let go
of the pain, to grow

whatever may interfere,
within me, there is no fear
with you close to me,
wherever we may be.

it was a rainy day
when i asked you to stay
to spend our time together,
fill it with nothing but laughter

we lay down comfortably
as we recall our memories
we talk about our dreams
building our own realm

we watched the sunset
as our hearts met,
the raindrops continue to fall,
as we walk under it all

the street lights glimmered
it glowed, the pavement looked glittered
they reflect beautifully at your face,
never fails to leave me amazed

slowly walking as the crisp air blows,
absorbing the moment as it flows
holding your hand as the night gets deeper
the night feels cold but with you it's warmer

it might be raining hard,
it might be cold and dark,
but you always become the light,
that takes away all my fright.

“your eyes never fail to mesmerize me”,
that’s what you always say
i will not believe, and say “i disagree”
and will shyly look away

i’d say “your eyes are beautiful too”
you would shake your head no then,
you’d answer “not the same heavenly color as you”
but i will repeat the words all over again

what you never know was
your eyes are a different hue
it’s a color only i, knew
it’s a shade only made for you

it’s a piece of art no one can replicate
a one of a kind curio i only get to see
even if it’s the only thing i’d get the chance to gaze
i would do it, no hesitation for eternity

in your eyes i see the life,
it has all the beautiful colors
in your eyes, i never have to hide,
because you see the truth in me and more.

there are really days when
you wake up and feel lightened,
a typical day for others,
to some a special one; a day to remember

the sunlight glowed differently,
it illuminated brightly
as if it is smiling up above,
looking below, feeling all the love

the birds chirped happily,
hums of celebration - they sang proudly,
they danced as the wind blows,
sounds blended well as the river flows

a day that feels only like a fairytale,
but it is real, not an ounce of fail
playing in the mind repeatedly,
like a well composed symphony

with you, every tick of the clock i treasure,
nothing compares or even measures
i know everyday is a special day
with you here by my side, to stay.

when everything seems perfect,
when all aligns as the sun sets,
something will happen
leaving us damaged and broken

with the words that was said;
pierced through the heart as it bled,
along with the thoughts that was made;
carved to the brain as it hazed

everyone is bound to get hurt;
the idea of it, i buried like dirt
but now it had happened,
it felt like stabs from the knife, newly sharpened

but the pain will not compare,
to the feeling of love and care
nothing will change,
you're still the one for me 'til i age

and even if everything is a blur,
there is one thing to you, i can assure,
i'll be the days to your nights
and the ways through your fright.

when the days are filled with gloom,
when melancholy fills the room,
i would close my eyes and wonder
when will despair reach the border

when the silence becomes heavy
all i could hear are screams, internally,
i would run and hide,
until everything subsides

but with your words i found tranquility,
i felt the peace, and harmony
there were times i felt alone,
but now i feel that i'm home

there are still many things i have yet to say,
but the thing i wanted most to convey,
when i thought my wishes won't come true,
there was you.

In the midst of it all
I had you
Whenever I fall
In front, you walk through

In the depths of the sea
When the world drowns me in
Even when it's dark, I see;
The light that seeps in

Warmth I had longed
Came slowly, little by little
You are a song
I'd sing still, though I'm brittle

You are a letter
I'd write with care
The poem that makes it better
I'd smile and stare

Even if this sounds nonsense
I'd still utter,
"I thank the heavens
For your presence, forever."

i can't count
how many times
i wanted to stop,
but thank you
to the people
who believed
and are still believing
you are the reason
why i am
still dreaming,
still fighting,
still flying.

Thank you for the 500 likes! This milestone wouldn't be possible without all of you!

With all the love,
Pens and Paper Planes

i love looking at the sky,
especially when the world is soundly asleep
i would look up,
and gaze at the stars

i adore the idea
of staring at them
while whispering my thoughts
and wishing silently

i sometimes talk to them,
letting the words come out
together with my feelings,
as well as my dreams

i used to wait
for the shooting stars
because they said you can say a wish,
and it will be granted

but i stopped staying up,
because as time passed by
i got tired
of continuously saying my desires

getting nothing in return
constant pain,
longing,
and sadness

until you came,
with your joyous heart
you leaped through my life
made it better than it was ever before

you said
you loved it as well;
the stars
staring at the sparkling firmament

smiling under their light
with your beautiful eyes twinkling with happiness
the calmness of the night surrounds you
and your presence soothes me

you wanted to watch the shooting stars,
stay all night and witness
as the light travels faster
than a blink of an eye

but me, being my stubborn self,
told you i was going to sleep instead
i couldn’t see your expression
but i know you were hoping for more

what you didn’t know was
i woke up to watch,
the shooting stars with you,
but you were already asleep

so i watched you instead,
and realized i do not have to wish anymore,
for i already got the answers to my dreams
right in front of me.

most of the time,
i keep my mouth shut,
i never say the things i want,
because i might regret it

but today is the day,
i can finally say,
im happy,
and at ease

thank you for the days,
thank you for the times,
of laughter,
and love

i sometimes feel sad,
but you're there to stay;
i cry mostly,
but your presence calms me

love is when you say hi,
love is when you say good night,
love comes in many forms,
but my favorite kind of love is you.

There were nights when,
I would sit at the porch
Look up at the glimmering stars;
Dream of a world
Where only happiness exists

There would be times,
I would be immensely attached
To the thought of a place
Where we would sit until dawn
Watching as the sun rises

There were countless days,
I would look you in the eye
And say things that you like;
Your lips would curve into a smile
While the sunlight shines brightly

There were also times I will blurt out
Things that hurts you,
That makes you cry
You will stay up at night
Asking me why

There are many questions
And though I write down my feelings,
I still can’t find the right words
I am a poet at lost,
Breathless and confused

Words are my weapon,
They are also my weakness
So forgive me for using it
At times to protect myself,
From getting shattered by the world

I know words that are beautiful
But I keep them in
What you don’t know is,
What I can't say and write,
I keep inside my heart.

as christmas approaches,
it gets colder
and colder
but i never minded it
because you used
to give me
warmth

your embrace
makes me whole
and safe
and loved
as if no one
could ever
hurt me

you would smile
and suddenly
everything's fine
on christmas eve,
you would tell
stories and i
would gladly listen

but never knew
that part of
growing up
is letting go;
getting used
to the pain
alone

is christmas
really for everyone?
or just
for those
who will
never be
on their own?

maybe
'tis the season
to be happy
even if you
really aren't;
it's going to be
fine

merry christmas
to those
who are
broken
but
still
fighting

your season
will come
and you will
feel the warmth
again
as it ought
to be.

alam kong
hapo ka na
nais nang huminto,
di na gumalaw,
tumingin na lamang
sa kawalan

ilang araw
ka nang di makatulog
binabagabag
ng mga pagdaramdam
na bumabalot
sa iyong puso

bakit hilig saktan
ang mga taong
gusto lamang sumaya?
takot tumawa
dahil alam na
mapapalitan ng luha

bakit panandalian lamang
ang galak
ngunit
ang hinagpis
ay walang
katapusan

pero hindi naman
panghabambuhay
ang lungkot
hindi permanente
ang sakit
at galit

sa bawat luhang
pumapatak,
may kaakibat
na ngiti
na naghihintay
bukas

maniwala kang,
hindi pa
ito ang dulo
hindi pa
ito ang huling
pahina

kung nais
mo nang bumitaw,
hihigpitan ko
ang hawak ko
sabay nating
lalabanan ang mundo

hindi ka nag-iisa,
marami kaming,
naniniwala.

tuwing gabi,
kapag lahat ay tahimik na,
magtatalukbong sa kumot
yakap ang unan,
pigil ang mga sigaw

pagtangis sa sarili,
galit, sakit at pighati,
bumabalot sa puso
para bang pasan ang mundo
titigil sandali, iiyak muli

bumabangon sa umaga,
mugto ang mga mata
mula sa magdamag na pagbulahaw
mga natuyong luha,
tinatagong sakit, bakas sa mukha

haharap sa salamin,
sabay ngingiti
para bang walang nangyari
"ganito naman lagi" bulong sa sarili,
sana'y marinig ng mundo

lumalaban ng pasikreto
gamit ang kakaunting lakas
magbibigay kasiyahan
para'y bigat ng loob maibsan
ngiti ng iba, siyang nagpapalakas

sabi nila, "buti nalang matatag ka."
ang hindi nila alam,
pagod ka na
gusto mo nang pumikit,
hindi na magising muli

pero kahit ganoon,
nandito ka parin,
patuloy na nabubuhay,
patuloy na lumalaban,
patuloy na nagmamahal.

We danced through the night,
As you held me in your arms
Comforted me with your words
While you whisper in my ears

We danced until morning,
As you tightened your grip
Made me cry with your phrases
While you pierce through my heart

We danced until I can no longer breathe,
You fooled me, I was killed.

It was at that moment,
When we both knew that time could never mend,
All the scars that was sent
Caused by a lifelong torment

Time stood still,
As you walked with my emotions instilled,
It's like I was killed
Because you said "I will."

What exactly was that?
Will you come back?
Will you step back?
Will you fight back?

I wish I asked
Never thought it would be the last
Thought you would say it perhaps
But I was wrong, now you're there, at dusk.

Who would have known?
That the girl full of smiles hides the greatest misery?
Who would have known?
That in every funny word that she says, lies a deep rooted agony?
Who would have known?
That in her every laugh at day, has an equivalent wail at night?
Who would have known?
That though she's breathing, she's already dead inside?
You wouldn't know
Because you never asked
You wouldn't know
Because you never listened
You wouldn't know
Because you don't know how it feels like
To hate yourself,
To blame yourself,
To battle with yourself,
You will never know.

On my younger years
When I'm engulfed with worry and fear
Mom would come near
Open up her arms to say "Come here."

In order to make me feel good,
She would open her cabinet made out of wood
Take out a pen, beside me she'll stood
"Draw something to lift up your mood."

I tried to sketch with a heavy thought
But it's different — what I sought
In letters and words, I was caught
Utmost happiness, it has brought

Before, when things aren't right,
I would go to my room and cry
Now, I'd take my pen and write
Hoping it would somehow give me light

Dad would also cheer me up,
Whenever I feel down, he would make me laugh
My tears, he knows how to stop,
He hears, whenever I tell myself, "I'm not enough."

When I can't bear the pain,
He would take out a paper to create a plane
Then, with a smile he would explain
"It will make you feel lighter" he would ascertain

Before, when life brings me down,
I would sit in one corner and frown
Now, I'd make paper planes to fly around
Happily waiting for it to land on the ground

But the world is tricky
Sometimes you're sad, sometimes you're lucky
Sometimes you're glad, sometimes you're gloomy
What I'm seeing is new, it's unlikely

Late at night,
There were cries
They kept saying "We've tried."
Until I heard, "We can't always fight."

Scattered things on the floor
It's so loud — the banging of the door
They kept shouting "What are all of these for?"
Until I heard, "In this house, I want nothing anymore."

The next thing I know, he left
Along with the secrets that we kept
He left as I wept
They separated as if they never met

Now I sit alone
Staring at an empty zone
Waiting for him to come home
Even if I already know he won't

I stopped making paper planes
Because I'm only reminded of the pain
Our once pure, happy family he stained
Now, together with my feelings I'm chained

I wrote all of the ache out
Whatever I can't say with my mouth
Until my energy has run out
Until I pass out

Luckily, mom was there
She made sure I'm aware
That her love for me, won't compare
To what we're feeling — despair

One day she asked me, while I help her do the chores
"Why do you not fly paper planes anymore?"
I said, "I'm only reminded of the pain so what for?"
She replied, "He is still your father up until now, not just before."

"But mama, he left you, us."
"Yes he did. He shouldn't, but he must."
"So why do you want me to offer my trust?"
"Because it's not just his fault, but ours." She hushed

She continued, "We aren't meant to be, but I'm happy."
"Why are you happy?"
"Because he gave you to me."
"So let go of the past, and let him be a good memory."

After that, I made paper planes again
To recall the past, to do things I once can't
I let it fly as a way to vent
When I want to say things, but chose to stay silent

Everything is going so well
Until the day my mom bid her farewell
She left suddenly, to my knees I fell,
She went home to heaven but I was left in hell

She died with her heart broken
She died with many words left unspoken
She died with her love unbroken
She died with her dreams stolen

I stopped writing
I burned everything
I can't stop crying
It feels like I am dying

Until I found a paper
I opened it; it's a letter
Written by the one I most treasure
My dearest mother

She wanted me to keep believing,
She wanted me to keep wishing,
She wanted me to keep dreaming,
She wanted me to keep writing

It makes her happy to see
Whenever I pick out the words carefully
Before I write them down completely
"I am so proud of you." She would say, sweetly

So I took out my pen,
And the papers she said she loved the scent
Wrote a note to finally let go of my torment
Made it as a paper plane; in heaven, hoping it would be sent

Life left me clueless and stained
But the memories will remain
Now, in order to ease the pain,
I just stick to pens and paper planes.