Zaynu

FIGHT

Sometimes the thoughts of using,
Will come into my head.
But it's only me that I'm abusing,
If I don't put them to bed.

Thoughts, they have no power,
If I don't let them devour.
My mind, my soul, and my heart,
Each one of them will play a part,

In the choices that I make,
Each one that I could break,
How much I'd put at stake,
A broken record on replay.

Sometimes the thoughts of using,
Will follow me all day.
But as for me I'm choosing,
To try and make them go away.

I'll take it one day at a time,
Or even just a moment.
I will not let my thoughts,
Make me do something I'll regret.

© Janelle Erin Elizabeth Peters all rights reserved 2022

-Some days-

There were shadows on the wall
and voices in my head
sometimes it was hard to tell
the living from the dead.

The space can get so crowded
that often it’s hard to find
serenity and tranquility
some quiet peace of mind.

The memories are so many
the pictures are so clear
often I struggled to differentiate
that I and not they, were here.

Journeying through that inner space
those places in my mind
I’ve learned to look and visit
but leave the emotion behind.

I see it as a movie
that plays inside my head
I can stay and watch it
or get up and leave instead.

I can stop the picture
and advance it frame by frame
the difference is that now I’ve learned how
to view it without pain.

What I see are memories
they hold no power now
the only way they may hold sway
is if I show them how.

I take some time to acknowledge
the one who went before
you kept putting one foot in front of the other
and learning so much more.

It took so long to realize
there was a better way
we can be so very stubborn
I got in my own way.

I’m glad I’ve learned those lessons
and now I hope to share
that you really can change this
with time, consistency and care.

Take some time to practice
to look inside yourself
silence your mind for there you will find
your way to your higher self.

It’s not a quick fix journey
there is no pill that you can take
but when you invest in yourself
what a difference that will make.

The changes may be subtle
or they may be profound
it really doesn’t matter
for it’s yourself that you have found.

Leslie C. Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Original art by: May1234 at Deviant Art

You’ve no idea
Of the feelings I hide
Of what I’ve stuffed down
Deep, deep inside

You’ve no idea
Of the things that I’ve done
Of the things that I’ve seen
It hasn’t always been fun

You’ve no idea
Of the sleep that I’ve lost
As I’ve tended to the human wreckage
And paid the huge emotional cost

You’ve no idea
What it’s like to watch someone die
When you’ve had to admit that you’ve failed
No matter how hard you try

You’ve no idea
Why I gave it all up
You seem convinced
I just need to, “toughen up”

You’ve no idea
Until you’ve slipped on my stethoscope
And laced up my boots
Exactly how difficult it can be to cope.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

I weep for the children
The ones locked away
I weep for the children
Who’ve forgotten how to play

I weep for the children
The lost and alone
I weep for the children
Who have no place to call home

I weep for the children
Karma always comes due
I weep for the children
They’re taking after you

I weep for the children
Who no longer learn
I weep for the children
Who always get burned

I weep for the children
The victims of war
I weep for the children
That’s not what childhood is for

I weep for the children
The ones who will never be born
I weep for the children
Who’ve been forced into p**n

I weep for the children
The ones society throws away
I weep for the children
All they have left is today

I weep for the children
I witness their plight
I weep for the children
And it’s their story I write

I weep for the children
And I call awareness to change
I weep for the children
And call you to engage

I weep for for children
An endless river of tears
I weep for the children
Knowing you share my fears.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Photographer unknown

Forgive me, my love
For I don’t know how I can bear
The pain upon my awakening
To rediscover you aren’t there

It was such a lovely dream
I had of us last night
Too bad it didn’t last
It faded with mornings first light

There is a great gaping pain
Right inside my chest
When I see your empty pillow
Where your head used to rest

This is a waking nightmare
That’s begun to fill my days
I miss you so damn much
In so many different ways

I know somewhere I’ve heard
That time helps to numb this pain
But every day I wake up
I swear it still feels the same

I want to tell you how much I miss you
How I long for one more dance
Everyday I keep wishing and hoping
But now, I’ll never get the chance.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix
9 July 2022

Graphic art found on Pinterest

~Isn't it time?~

In the darkest corner of my mind
There's a place where my fears reside
All those things that happened to me
All those things I never wished to see

I stuffed them all into this box
But despite the best of locks
When the box got packed and over-full
I didn't know what else to do

For all I did was lock away
That pain from the light of day
No matter how deeply I went
This was something I could not prevent

Where there is a loss there is also a gain
Where there is love this is also pain
If we cannot stay balanced within ourselves
It's then our lives go to hell

We lose sight of love and light
We feel so hopeless and we fight
We drag ourselves from day to day
Until we learn a better way

To be found you must first be lost
It's amazing how our wires get crossed
Like a ship we can run aground
Mired in this materialistic world which abounds

Yet, once the veil is lifted from our eyes
We view this world with some surprise
Some things they do appear brand new
When we've changed our point of view

Once we can confront our pain
You'll find your life will be forever changed
It is just astounding this rebirth
To rediscover what your life is worth

I dance and sing and share my song
Hoping you will join along
I may be a bit crazy, but hey, it is divine
Now that I have found my peace of mind;

Isn't it your time?

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic artist unknown

Two rivers meet without mixing in Georgia.

Some days I’m up
Some days I’m down
Some days I feel like I’ve just run aground

Sometimes I win
Sometimes I lose
Sometimes I don’t know which path to choose

Some days I laugh
Some days I cry
Some days I feel like I want to lay down and die

Sometimes I’m organized
Sometimes I’m a mess
Sometimes I don’t try hard enough, I guess

But, some days aren’t every day
And I’m glad I can see
That change is the only constant for me.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Original art by Ani Castillo

I long for a place without fences
Where we all can be free
A return to the way
That it used to be

Lines on a map
Don’t make much sense to me
Because after all
We are different people you see

We’re each another slice
In this pie of humanity
All drops in the ocean
Filled with diversity

Oh how I long
And yearn to be free
Without any fences
Left to restrain me.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic art by: psychoshadow

My beloved
You’ve set my soul on fire
Now I’m drowning in our desire
The universe has conspired
To make certain we’re truly mired

It’s impossible to separate you from me
For we are bound together eternally
Teaching a new paradigm
Not your idea, nor mine

Totally caught unaware
When we were swept up in this love affair
Suddenly there in my head
There was a voice, “hello”, it said

The feelings wouldn’t go away
They kept growing stronger every day
A pull in my belly and my heart
That I felt right from the start

Your energy I can always find
For it’s so firmly entwined with mine
It’s funny how I can’t go through my day
Without your presence along the way

When you reach out to fill my mind
The love and light is so sublime
I’m so glad that I did find
The other half I’d left behind.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic Artist: Luis Riios

Take your mind
Open it wide
Learn to connect
With that timeless wisdom inside

Embracing the present moment
We are finally free
For its then we can envision
Infinite possibility

The past is gone
The future is unclear
But peace does exist
Right now, right here

No one else can tell you
What it is that you’ll find
When you journey down deep
Into the depths of your mind

A safe harbor
Whose still waters run deep
What you find there
May make you laugh, or weep

One thing is certain
It’s perfectly clear
The way out is the path inside
And it begins, right here.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

-not alone-

I’m drowning in the ocean
Of tears that I cried
As I sat beside your bed
And held your hand as you died

No one else
Was allowed inside
All other visitors
Had been denied

I wiped the sweat
From your face
I held you tight
In my embrace

I tried so hard
To take their place
The pain of their absence
I can’t erase

It will always cut me
Right to the bone
But at least I didn’t let you
Die all alone.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

When you’re going through a rough time in life, pause and tell yourself the following :

I WANT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T GIVE UP ON MYSELF AND ON MY LIFE!

I want to see the fruits of my hard work, my patience, my perseverance, and the REWARD for all my tears and hustle.

Because even tho life is challenging, nothing lasts forever. There will come a time where you will get a break from suffering.

It might take months or years but NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT because CHANGE is consistent!

When you close your eyes
What do you see?
Do you see only darkness
Or infinite possibility?

When you take time to listen
What do you hear?
What are the sounds
That are filling your ears?

When you walk out into the world
Daytime or night
Are you celebrating it’s diversity
Are you making things right?

When you stumble upon a person
Who you can see clearly fell
Do you offer a hand up
Or tell them, go to hell?!?

When you speak
What words fall from your mouth?
Be careful what you wish for
For you shall bring that about

When you finally open your eyes
And see the world you can create
Will you fill it with kindness
Or destroy it with hate?

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic artist unknown

-full moon intention-

May the words I whisper
Be what you need to hear
May they always be pleasant
To your ears

May all my words
Be straight and true
May I always speak
My heart to you

May you never mistake
My intent
May I always communicate
Just what I meant

May your heart be open
As well as your mind
May all your actions
Be forever kind

May your spirits soar
With the rising sun
May you sleep peacefully
When your day is done

May this prayer
Be carried upon the winds
May the Great Creator
Take it in

May the blessings
Overflow
For as above
So below

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic art: Yuumei Art

Don’t wait until you feel comfortable.
Don’t wait until you have it all figured out.
Don’t wait until you retire.
Don’t wait until everything is perfect.
Don’t wait until you have the approval of others.
Our time here is finite.
You don’t want to run out of time and be filled with “what if’s” and serious regrets.
This is your one precious life, spend time cultivating a friendship with yourself knowing who you are, what you want, and how you can live your life fully. 💛

(Just because things could’ve been different doesn’t mean they would’ve been better.-unknown)

You start dying slowly
if you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly
When you kill your self-esteem;
When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly
If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime,
To run away from sensible advice.
Martha Medeiros

What if
We chose to practice love,
not spread hate.

What if
We saw everyone as equal,
and we did not discriminate.

What if
Instead of angry words, screams and shouts,
when we opened up our mouths only loving
kindness flowed out?

What if
Everyone tried their best to understand
the minute differences between our fellow man?

What if
We all saw the glory of the soul instead of the
color of the skin,
Would peace then have a chance to truly begin?

What if
We could all truly come together as One?
Ah, when that happens, we know that our work
here, is done.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Get up, rabbit
It’s your time to run
You don’t get to rest
Until your course is done

Run rabbit, run
Look at you go
It’s been so amazing
Watching you grow

Run rabbit, run
Leave all you know behind
You are going to stretch
The limits of your heart and mind

Run rabbit, run
So you can be free
Beyond fences or boundaries
That’s the way it should be

Run rabbit, run
You’ve grown stronger not weak
It’s in the chances you take
And the company you keep

Run rabbit, run
You’re fee from the pack
Head off into the sunset,
Don’t you dare look back!

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix
21 June 2022

Original art by Carrie Lingscheit

A dark day
And a lonely night
I no longer know
What wrong or right

Right or wrong
It’s been way too long
But I am still here
Trying to be strong

Somehow, somewhat
Holding myself together
If that’s what you call it
Riding through this rough weather

I want to float on feathers
But the weight is unbearable
The only question is
Is it repairable?

I do not know

Even though
I continue to try
Even though
I ask myself why

What’s the point
When no one’s around
No one who cares
If I’m up or down

If I wear a smile
Or a frown
No one will notice
It’s just me versus me
Trying to live a life
Happy and free

But free from what?
Life itself?
Is that what it’s called?

This slow torture
Of feeling worse
And worse
It is like a curse
Do I need a remedy?
Or a fu***ng hearse?

My mind isn’t clear
Just a foggy haze
I thought it would pass
But it always stays

I can’t help myself
Living in constant misery
Maybe I should just end it all
To try and stop this pain in me

Because
I no longer know
What’s right or wrong
These dark days
And long lonely nights
Have sure got a hold of me

They are holding me back

Holding me back
From being
Happy

——

This is not my current
State of mind
You are NOT alone
Be strong and reach out
If you are currently struggling
And think you may need some help
Many people do care and love you
No matter how alone you feel
Speak up and talk to someone
It will help…
You will see…
Blessings to all ❤️🙏🏼

~SHOOTY~
SHOOTYS SCRIBBLE SPOT
©️ 18/6/2022

Picture credit:
Google/Pinterest
By: Andres Kal










**n

Hey you.

Yes, you; reading right now.

I’m so proud of you. If you’re following this page, I know you’ve made a commitment to changing yourself and the world around you.

It’s not easy.

It’s really hard.

Each and every day that you wake up you fight to flip that switch in your head to make it positive or keep it positive.

Congratulations! It’s more of a challenge these days.

Never doubt that the fight is worth it.

I see you; and I’m so proud of you. ♥️

✊✊✊

You can’t rise up
If you keep letting yourself down
You can’t learn to fly
With your feet on the ground

You can’t open new doors
When your mind stays closed
You can’t mind the thorns
If you wish to pluck the rose

You can’t scream
And make no sound
You can’t stay lost
When you’ve been found

You can’t make friends
With someone you hate
You can’t get started early
When you arrive late

You can’t dive deep
Into a shallow pool
You can’t act like an idiot
And have people think you’re cool

You can’t leave
If you stay
You can’t ever find tomorrow
It’s always a day away.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix
12 June 2022