Marriage Counseling And Relationship Advice

You left your husband because he was cheating.

You have a kid or two.

So you divorced because you were so pained.

You left.

With the kids.

You started working hard to cater for your needs. You work so hard, but it isn't enough.

To meet up with the growing economic demands, you find a wealthy man. He is rich. You dont care. You need to pay fees for your kids as a strong, independent woman. You need to prove that it can be done. So you're dating a wealthy married man.
You are now a side chic.

Then, you begin to think of the side chics your husband has and why he has them.

You do not even question the morality. You begin to understand why. Maybe they've got kids too. Mouths to feed, life to live.

It doesn't make sense still.

So you call the married man when he is home, and he hides to shout at you for wanting to disturb his peace with his "wife" as you ought to know when he is home.

You think of your hurts.

You think of your consolation.

At least you had a husband who was fully yours. He cheats, but he was fully yours.

So you attempt to find out what is going on with him now, but he is married again to a younger woman.

After you make contact, he comes to visit you and the kids. He drops some money once a while. The new wife is in charge now...

You connect on old times. You even had s*x.

He leaves to his house to his wife. You're now dating two married men. Both of them are cheating on their wives.

And then you say life wasn't fair to you.

As bad as this may sound, it happens. It is the reality of our time.

Wise people learn from the mistakes of others.

Don't leave ur peaceful abode (marriage) because he cheats.

It rains every where.

Advice!!!✍🏼
Counseling And Relationship Advice

IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT LIFE YOU SHOULD KNOW 😎😎😎

*1. Do not keep stupid friends all in the name of "No one knows tomorrow." They may not allow you to see that tomorrow, so be very careful.*

*2. Marrying a lady with children doesn't mean you are a fool. A Fool is the biological father that ran away from his responsibility.*

*3. When you care too much, you will be treated as a fool, because they think you can't live without them. Therefore, be wise.*

*4.If you want to go far in life, train your heart to accept disappointments, even if it comes from those you trusted. Because every disappointment has a reason.*

*5. A friend who becomes an enemy after a little misunderstanding has been an enemy all along. They were just pretending. So hold yourself.*

*6. My people, stop keeping clothes and shoes for special occasions, start wearing them when you can. Because nowadays, being alive alone is a special occasion.*

*7. If nobody is mocking or criticizing you, it means you are a nobody. No one throws stones at a fruitless tree. Continue to be fruitful.*

*8. If you want to become useless in life, I mean very useless, depend on people. Put your trust in God. It's only God that can never fail.*

*9. When you find out that, no one is correcting you, don't think you are perfect, you are just beyond repair.*

*10. Don't expect me to hate someone just because you hate him or her. Let me educate you, HATE is not a communicable disease. Suffer your hate virus alone and don't involve me.*

*11. Did you know that, one of the definitions of madness is the act of increasing your speed when you know that you have missed the road, way, direction? So wake up.*

*12.Life is a teacher, the more you live the more you learn*

*13. Attitude is everything in life. While you are moaning your lack of shoes, somebody without leg is celebrating that he is alive. Be grateful.*

*14. Happiness is free, don't expect someone to give you one, make yourself happy today

Counseling And Relationship Advice

THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER

1. The past can't be changed: It is important to remember that dwelling on the past or regretting past actions will not change what has already happened. Instead of focusing on the past, it is more productive to learn from it and focus on shaping a better future.

2. Opinions don't define your reality: It's essential to realize that other people's opinions are subjective and based on their own perspectives and experiences. Your reality is shaped by your own thoughts, beliefs, and actions. It's important to have confidence in yourself and not let the opinions of others dictate your self-worth or the path you choose to take.

3. Everyone's journey is different: Each person has their own unique path in life with their own set of challenges, opportunities, and successes. Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, or self-doubt. Remember that your journey is yours alone, and focus on your personal growth and progress.

4. Judgements are not about you: When someone passes judgment or criticism, it is often a reflection of their own insecurities or biases. It is crucial not to internalize these judgments and understand that they say more about the person making them than about you. Stay true to yourself and don't let others' opinions define your self-image.

5. Overthinking will lead to sadness: Overthinking and obsessing over every little detail can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and sadness. It is important to find a balance between analyzing situations and letting go of excessive rumination. Practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present moment can help alleviate the negative effects of overthinking.

6. Happiness is found within: True happiness comes from within and is not dependent on external factors or material possessions. It is important to cultivate self-love, gratitude, and a positive mindset. Focus on the things that bring you joy, spend time with loved ones, take care of your mental and physical well-being, and pursue activities that align with your passions and values.

7. Your thoughts affect your mood: The power of your thoughts cannot be understated. Negative thoughts can bring you down and create a cycle of negativity. Conversely, positive thoughts can uplift your mood and boost your overall well-being. Practice self-awareness and strive to cultivate a positive mindset, even in difficult times.

8. Smiles are contagious: A smile can brighten someone's day and create a ripple effect of positivity. Simple acts of kindness, such as smiling at others, can have a profound impact on both yourself and those around you. Spread positivity and create a welcoming environment through your words and actions.

9. Kindness is free: Kindness costs nothing but has immeasurable value. Offering kindness to others not only makes a difference in their lives but also has the power to uplift your own spirit. Small acts of kindness, whether it's a compliment, a helping hand, or a listening ear, can make a significant impact on someone's day.

10. It's okay to let go and move on: Holding onto past hurts, grievances, or negative relationships can weigh you down and prevent personal growth. Letting go and moving on from situations that no longer serve you is essential for your own well-being and happiness. Embrace change, learn from experiences, and focus on building a brighter future.

11. What goes around, comes around: The concept of karma reminds us that our actions have consequences. Being mindful of your actions and treating others with kindness and respect can create a positive cycle of energy and goodwill. Ultimately, the positivity you put out into the world is likely to come back to you in some form.

12. Things always get better with time: Life is full of ups and downs, and during challenging times, it can be easy to feel discouraged. However, it is essential to remember that difficult situations are temporary. With time, healing, and personal growth, things have a way of improving. Trust in the process and have faith that better days are ahead.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

ADVICE TO ALL MARRIED MEN✍️📜

1. If you value your health and you want to live long and have a happy home, let your wife always win an argument. Trust me, it's the shortcut I know to peace of mind! Where there is no wood (fuel), the fire goes out!

2. Stop trying to figure out your wife or understand why she does what she does. It's a waste of precious time. Remember that you (Adam) were put to sleep while she (Eve) was being produced? How can you try to understand an equipment that wasn't assembled in your presence?

3. Marriage is about ACCEPTANCE, not tolerance. Make your marriage relationship-driven, not performance-driven. She was NOT created in your image. Stop projecting YOU into her. Show her the need for change through leadership, not coercion.

4. While a man is rational, the woman is emotional. One (the man) processes via his head, the other processes things through her heart (emotions). One thinks things through, the other feels her way through things. Facts drive you. Intuition drives her. What she can't FEEL, she doesn't SEE!

5. When s*x becomes a weapon, a duty or an entitlement, it loses its very essence, LOVE-MAKING. It simply becomes another chore like dish-washing which nobody looks forward to doing! Play with her. Flirt with her. Serenade her. Hug. Cuddle. Hold hands. Surprise her. Blow gently into her ears while she is cooking or while you are watching a movie together. Be spontaneous. Being a king-kong overlord in "ze oza room" and puffing and panting like a worn-out locomotive while she wonders what just happened can only lead to frustration. Remember, it is never about the size of the weapon but the fury of the attack! (Decode that!)

6. Go out often. Make regular, unscheduled date nights. Take a bath together. Make room for movie nights together either at home or at the cinema.

7. Remember that ONLY THE TWO OF YOU started the journey together and when the children have jumped the nest, only the two of you will remain. So, keep the bond ALL THE WAY and never drop the ball

8. Impregnate her with VISION. Allow her to dream too. Every woman loves a man working towards a future in which she can feature. Remember, woman simply means "womb man". She always wants something to incubate and nourish. You give her a seed, she incubates it and turns it to a baby for you

9. She is your wife, a companion and confidant, not a washing machine, cook or slave. You can't wear her out with chores all day and expect to 'ride' a functional "bicycle" all night! Impossible! Partners help partners by giving a helping hand where needed, even without being told.

10. Love is not 50/50. It is 100%. God didn't say to love your wife when she is submissive. It simply says love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

11. Be PRESENT. Don't be at home married to your computer, football game or your phone for that matter. Listen when she wants to talk. Even when you don't know what to contribute to the discourse, you will soon discover that all she wanted was for you to listen. Your opinion may not even count!

12. If both of you are born again children of God, you are actually SIBLINGS!!! You have the same Father and the same Father-in-law, GOD!!! Ever thought of that? Treat your wife with the dignity you would accord your blood sister. If you are fond of disgracing your wife in public and calling her all sorts of unprintable names, remember, it wasn't God who named EVE. He created a woman, Adam gave her a name. Whatever you call your wife, that is what she will reflect to you. If you call your wife a Jezebel, we need to check if your middle name isn't Ahab! Call her your Queen and she will make you her crown! It takes one to find one! When you see the glory of your Father in her, you will be a great Son-in-law too! A wife you don't honour cannot bring honour to you too.

MAY YOUR HOMES REFLECT THE MIND OF GOD!

Counseling And Relationship Advice

DO NOT HOLD ON TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LEAVE YOU

Not everybody is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are meant to be just minor characters in your life story. So, when they want to leave, let them leave.

It doesn’t mean they are unfavorable set of people tho . It just mean their tour in your life is over. They are definitely not that one person you need for your to-come life.

People can leave your life any time, any day any hour or minute. Within a twinkle of an eye, they are gone already. Resist the urge of getting addicted to someone. Those you need the most will always leave because your life is not patterned to depend on any man on earth.

If someone tells you:
"You're the reason why I breath"

Lol!
Don't be shocked that he might leave and still breath every single day without you Mr/Mrs breath Provider.

People will leave you even if they promise a hundred and one times that they won’t leave. They will whisper to your ears how precious you are but replace you in a flash.

Some will even leave you in the middle of your tough phase.

When they are prepared to leave, you can’t make them stay. And when you force them to stay, you become irrelevant to them.

Love people as they come and let go of them if they want to leave.

Love is not to be forced on people, it comes naturally. When someone opens the door of your life to exist, someone else is ready to come in.

Be ready to work more on your flaws and be ready to welcome a new being.

Love is a treasure do not use it for pleasure

STATEMENTS WOMEN MAKE WHEN THEY CRAVE ATTENTION OF THEIR SPOUSE



A vast majority of women communicate indirectly and non verbally with insinuations and innuendoes. Therefore, as a man, whenever your wife is communicating with you, listen carefully not just to what she is saying but to the tone, undertone and overtone of what she is saying.

If you are married or even courting and you hear any of the following, don't take it on face value, she is indirectly telling you that she wants you or she expects you to bond more with her.

1. You don't love me.
2. You have not done anything for me.
- She can say this even if you just set up a business for her a month ago.
3. You don't care about me.
4. Are you going to work today?
- She knows that you go to work everyday and you are not on leave or off duty the day she asks the question.
5. I don't have clothes.
6. This weather is very cold.
7. I want to be left alone.
- Na lie, she is telling you that she needs you close by. The day she really wants to be left alone, she won't announce it.

Be a sensitive husband and respond adequately to the emotions of your wife.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

THE 10 STAGES OF INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

You know the commandment which says, “Be faithful in marriage.” But I tell you that if you look at another woman and want her, you are already unfaithful in your thoughts.
Matthew 5:27-28 CEV

"Adultery occurs in the head long before it occurs in the bed."

So many marriages are failing today across the world for various reasons too numerous to mention. However, one of the major killers of marital bliss is infidelity.

A huge number of marriages are plagued with the issue of adultery. In most cases, either parties, husbands and wives are engaged in such acts.

Nobody sets out to cheat on his spouse. No husband intentionally goes out of his way to sleep with another woman other than his wife and likewise, no woman will intentionally open her legs for another to plunge his manhood into her womanhood.

Giving one's body to another person other than one's spouse could be very devastating to that spouse if he or she finds out.

Adultery or infidelity as the case may be, does not just happen instantaneously, rather it happens gradually. Nobody wants to engage in infidelity, yet so many are engaging in it. That you're not having s*x with another person other than your spouse does not mean you're not in the process of adultery.

The following are the stages of adultery:

1. ADMIRATION
The first stage of adultery is admiration. Admiration is the foundation of adultery. When you start admiring another person more than your spouse, you are heading towards infidelity.

Always admire your spouse. Let your spouse always be handsome or beautiful in your eyes. After all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and beauty is skin deep. Don't marry anyone you don't admire, else you'll engage in adultery.

Be careful how you praise the body shape and figure of someone else other than your spouse. Build that desirable look in your spouse. For instance, if your husband is skinny and you're admiring another man for being macho, quickly encourage your husband to get to the gym and build up so that he can be your s*x symbol.

2. ATTRACTION
If admiration is left unchecked, it gradually leads to attraction. If you get attracted to another person other than your spouse, you are already far gone in infidelity, unknowingly.

Check your attraction towards someone else and stop it immediately. As you start getting attracted, gynephilia or androphilia as the case may be, sets in.

3. MEDITATION
After getting attracted, you start thinking about the person. You start fantasizing about the person. The person occupies your mind most of the time. If care is not taken, you start ma********ng with the picture of the person in your mind or even with the person's physical picture or picture from your phone.

You begin to think about the person most of the time. At this time, you begin to wish it was this person you married and not your spouse. Sometimes, when having s*x with your spouse, you have the image of the person before you and not your spouse. At this point, you are actually sliding very fast towards the actual act of adultery.

4. AFFECTION
You start showing affection towards this person. You become pleasant, friendly, kind and loving. You start showering the person with gifts. At some point, you no longer have restraints in the show of affection. You even start giving underwears as gifts.

At this point, you're beginning to cross the line.

5. COMMUNICATION
Communication is the bond of relationship. You inadvertently become very close to the person you communicate with regularly and frequently.

When you start communicating with another person of the opposite s*x more than your spouse, all is not well.

You begin to text, call and chat for minutes and hours. The calls, texts and chats gradually start having emotional, romantic and s*xual tones, undertones and overtones.

You start deleting texts, chats and call logs.

At this point, you're just a few steps to the actual act of s*x.

6. ATTENTION
At this point, you start being very interested in the affairs of this new found fancy of yours.

The person's joy becomes your joy and his or her pain equally becomes yours.

Your life suddenly gets intertwined with the person's life.

Note that you are very close to danger now.

7. DEDICATION
You now sacrifice your time and resources towards making this person happy and comfortable.

You start starving your spouse of affection, attention and finances so that you can shower it on this your 'new source of happiness'

You become so dedicated and committed to the person that everything about you revolves around the person.

At this point, you are just two steps away from s*x but you are already in adultery fully.

8. SEDUCTION
You start dressing to tease and please your 'new love'. Whenever you're around the person, you flash some smile and some flesh, either wittingly or unwittingly.

You begin to allure and lure the person.

You send your best pictures to the person.

At this point, you've fallen headlong and you're just one step away from s*x with a strange flesh.

9. COPULATION
Having passed through all the other stages, the only desire in your spirit, soul and body becomes s*x with this stranger turned lover.

You begin to crave the embrace, touch, caress, smooch, warmth, hardness or wetness of the person and pronto, given any opportunity, you've had s*x with another person other than your spouse.

Initially you may feel bad and try to desist but if care is not taken you may continue.

10. ADDICTION
At this stage, you get hooked to the person because stolen waters is sweet, especially if the person satisfies you s*xually more than your spouse.

CONCLUSION:
Adultery or infidelity, as the case may be, does not happen by mistake but it happens by foolishness.

Love your spouse; forgive your spouse promptly; be attractive to your spouse; maintain cordial relationship with your spouse and 'do the do' as many times as possible.

Befriend your spouse and make him your best friend.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

THE KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

When you're caught up in the excitement of your wedding, it can be hard to imagine that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. But sharing your life with another person can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful.

A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.

Communicate clearly and often

Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate. Part of good communication is being a good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you. Keep the lines of communication open by talking often, and not just about things like bills and the kids. Share your thoughts and feelings.

Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having him or her in your life

Appreciate each other, your relationship, your family, and your lives together. Show gratitude when your partner cooks dinner, helps the kids with their homework, or does the grocery shopping. It may help to take a few minutes each evening to tell each other at least one thing you appreciated that day.

Make time for you two as a couple

With work and family responsibilities, it can be easy to lose the romance factor. Plan special dates, either to go out or just stay at home. If you have children, send them on a play date while you relax, talk, and enjoy each other's company.

Plan for some personal time
Alone time is just as important as couple time. Everyone needs time to recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests. That time is often lost when you're married, especially if you have kids. Go out with friends, take a class, or do volunteer work, whatever you find enriching. When you're back together with your spouse, you'll appreciate each other even more.

Understand that it's OK to disagree
You won't agree on everything, but it is important to be fair and respectful during disagreements. Listen to your spouse's point of view. Try not to get angry and don't let yourself become too frustrated. Walk away and calm down if you need to, then discuss the problem again when you're both in a better frame of mind. Compromise on problems so that you both give a little.

Build trust
Marriage therapist and researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., has found that criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are serious threats to a marriage. The more a couple engages in these destructive activities, the more likely they are to divorce. His decades of research and of working with couples have shown that spouses who stay together know how to fight without being hostile and to take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes to make up after fights and repair the relationship.

Learn to forgive
Everyone makes mistakes. Your spouse may hurt your feelings or do something that upsets you, and that may make you angry, even furious. But it's important to deal with your feelings, let them go, and move on. don’t keep bringing up the past.

Remember to remain committed to your spouse, your family, and the life that you have built together. Support each other emotionally and in everyday ways. You, your spouse, and your relationship may grow and change with time, but these ideas can help your marriage stay successful over the years.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

THINGS YOU MUSTN'T BE CONFUSED ABOUT IN A RELATIONSHIP

1) WHAT (IDENTITY)

When after six months of calling somebody "my love" "my world" "my destiny"
and throwing "I love you" and "I love you too" back and forth like table tennis, and you still can't place a hand on what is going on, then
there is problem.

SEEK CLARITY now, before you will ask someone tomorrow "what are we?" and they will reply you that "we are nothing but Pencils in the hand of the creator" after 5 abortions

2) WHY THE RELATIONSHIP (MOTIVE)

Even before the Relationship starts, settle the why.

Is it Love? Is it pity? Or Is it Lust?

Is it for friendship or marriage or for Fun?

If there's one question I always ask people who come for counseling, it's "Do you love him/her?" and "Does he/she love you"

If No, then Why are you/they doing it?

3) WHERE IS IT GOING. (DESTINATION)

The Relationship is going, but you don't know where it is going, after 3 years, Bro Bernard and Sis Funke, dey play.

A JOURNEY without a DESTINATION is most likely going to end up as a WASTE OF TIME. .

LADIES, Fear any young Man that cannot answer this question "Where is this Relationship headed?"

Statements like "I don't know for now, let's see how it goes"

You don't know for now, but you want me to be waiting, TILL WHEN?

And YOUNG MEN, before you start pestering any lady for a Relationship, answer this question.

"Where do I want it to end?"

4) WHEN (TIMEFRAME)

Many ladies I've counseled tell me each time they ask their 'fiancees' when he intends to "do something", the replies are usually one of the following

✔️ Don't rush me (when you were rushing her to accept your proposal nko)

✔️ I'm not ready yet (and you asked her out, soldier ant bite you there)

✔️ I want to make money first (while Aunty is growing old, tomorrow you'll now dump her for someone younger)

As an Adult, date with a time frame in mind. Don't date as if you're immortal.

5) DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THIS PERSON (CONVICTION)

Be sure you actually intend to marry the person you accept/chose to date.

I mean, as a lady for example, how can you be accept and be dating a Guy you don't plan to marry?

What If he proposes tomorrow?
************************************
I leave you with this words
"Confusion in a Relationship is a sign that there is no clarity"

SEEK CLARITY IN THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. GOD BLESS YOU.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

5 TYPES OF WOMEN YOU SHOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH

1. Never sleep with a Marriage woman. No matter the s*xual temptations she might bring to you, learn to overcome it. A married woman it under an oath before God. Sleeping with her will only attract severe curse to your life. And come to think of it. How will you feel, if your fellow man sleeps with your own wife? Am sure you won't be happy, So avoid it.

2. Don't sleep with women whose medical status you don't know. STD,s are not written ob the faces of people, Stop sleeping with women who probably are having unprotected S*x with other men. You are only risking your life. A lot of men, who made this mistakes are regretting today, especially those who contacted incurable STD,s.

3. Never sleep with a Pr******te. It doesn't matter if you use condoms or not. A Pr******te is a woman who consistently sleeps with different men.
No matter how you try to play safe on this. A public toilet 🚻 is public toilet 🚻. You will surely regret doing that.

4. Never sleep with your Relative. In**st is a demonic act. Don't sleep with your sister, don't sleep with cousins and nephews. Don't do it no matter the pressure. You will only attract generations curses to yourself.

5. Never sleep with a strange woman. Most men take a lot of risk in life, have met guys who slept with ladies they just met in the bus or aircraft while traveling, a lady they just met in the bar or along the street. That is too risky. Apart from not knowing her medical status. You barely know her. She could be a witch or whatever. Never sleep with a strange woman no matter the pressure. In addition to that, never sleep with a s*xual loosed lady. Most ladies cannot control themselves s*xually, alittle touch or pressure can make them open their legs. Avoid such ladies. That is exactly how they could be sleeping around with other men.
Do you agree with these points.
Let's hear you in the comments section down below.

Counseling And Relationship Advice

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE

Not everybody that you see and he or she admires you should be your friend, some of you will even start calling them your convenant friend, your bossom Friend, my dear just wait until they tear you into pieces and they will leave them and look for another person, that's not how it should be. There has to be a standard, what is your standard for having friends, what is the standard in your life for friends. Most of us don't know the reason for friendship, every friendship or relationship has a definition.

Many of us will meet someone for the first time and within some minutes, you have already told the person everything about your life, the problems you have with your spouse, the problem you have with your pastor and the problem you have with your children, let me tell you the day you will have problem with that person, he or she will disclose everything you said to the public.

There must be a system to manage relationship, don't generalize your relationship.

I love everybody but not everybody occupies a place in my life as far relationship is concerned because I have a system.

Major reasons for keeping friends is for spiritual contribution those friends you keep can bring to you. Can you depend on them in times of need and what is the level and magnitude of their financial commitment in your life. Any friend that cannot contribute to your life financially is not a friend.

My dear don't waste your opportunity of being a celebrity to people who only love your gift and not you and forget the people that really matters in your life. Makes friends with people that loves and values everything about you.

There are some men of God here that are losing their core membership in the name of the world celebrating them, when the time comes they will leave you and find another alternative.When people knows that you are serious about them, they will be serious about you, they will even invite people to come knowing fully well that you will not waste their time. Human being are not stupid, if they find out that you are not contributing constructive values to their lives, they may not run away from you but they will find an alternative that will serve them well.

Go back and rewrite your relationship, who are the people that has shown great honor in your life, who are the first five people that you can lean on when problems arises, my dear if you have this set of persons in your life, don't take them for granted because they are rare gem.

Counseling And Relationship Advice