Psyche Geez

While intentions were usually to cause pain, i honestly had to admit 50% of what was said in my narcissist experiences were painfully accurate, the other 50% where painful lies that I was actually kinda believing too. What I understood logically is either way it ends with 100% painful experiences. When I’m in pain, i can’t think and makes it hard to be myself, which is a funny person. My solution was to figure out acceptance and make it a real part of me. To accomplish acceptance I decided I needed to live in a way that was openly acceptable to my standards. My logic was it starves  the narcissist of secrets, which is vital to their manipulation. The other important thing I did was forgive the ones who wronged me and forgive myself for my own shame. Kinda of a cleanup up the past with intentions on keeping it clean. Then I changed, I lived the change through the hard temptation points, with deeds and actions. For example, if you don’t want anger in your life, you can’t seek revenge. Revenge will attached you to more anger in the future, an endless escalating cycle. Not having revenge is hard, that kind of temptation. I credit the concept of acceptance, it make me built proof to emotional abuse. The journey through acceptance is what gave me my sense of self. When I completely hit the point of self acceptance, immediately by default, I had an acceptance for everyone else. Their is good in bad people too, we just get so pi**ed off we can’t see it anymore. Being accepting of others made social circles easy to build, people love being accepted for their good side, so that’s usually all I get to see.

I end this with some straightforward truth, it hurts me a lot to see my truths, but I also understood it was my future immunity. My story’s are entertaining because I did it on my own, I mess up a lot, and bounced back. I’m a do it yourself kinda guy, but I don’t recommend it. It’s worth it to get help from a well trained professional and let someone else create the necessary suffering that will get you to immunity. The journey was painful, courage made it less painful. Fear like triples the suffering, seriously, I tried it. Same concept works in 12 step addiction recovery, the concept of acceptance cures a lot of problems, people avoid it because it requires suffering to become immune to suffering. Sending love on your acceptance journey.