I'm Finding My Voice

Parentification = having to grow up too fast.

People who had to grow up too fast often display these 9 distinctive behaviors as adults Growing up — it’s something we all go through, but for some, it happens far too quickly. Being thrust into adult situations and responsibilities at a young age can have a profound impact on one’s development and behavior. I know this firsthand, and if you’re here, you likely do too. People w...

Husband on a Friday night: I think I might lock myself in the closet and play with baseball cards tonight.
Society: It’s so great you still have that hobby from your childhood.

Wife on a Friday night: I think I might lock myself in the closet and play with Barbies tonight.
Society: What are you, 9?

Patriarchy.

What are some other childhood hobbies or activities that are culturally normal and accepted to continue into adulthood?

Here I go again:

Bandwidth - It's been a while! Over the past few years, I've had trouble juggling everything on my plate. I've felt exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and completely used up. Keeping up with my little ones and the stresses of our large, blended family have taken all of my bandwidth. I just haven't had anything els...

Why didn’t you leave?” Why didn’t you leave sooner?” Why did you wait so long to leave?” It couldn’t have been that bad if you stayed with him for 10 years.” All of these types of questions and statements are a form of victim blaming and victim shaming. It needs to end. Instead, we should be asking the abuser, “Why did you gaslight her into staying with you for so long?”...

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/stop-asking-women-why-didnt-you-leave/

Stop asking women “Why didn’t you leave?” Why didn’t you leave?” Why didn’t you leave sooner?” Why did you wait so long to leave?” It couldn’t have been that bad if you stayed with him for 10 years.” All of these types of questions and sta…

We need more legislation like this in Florida.

Bill seeks to protect children from abusive parents in Family Court More legislation being proposed to protect children and reform the Family court system. This time in Maryland. We need to bring bills like this to our Florida legislators. Maryland Bill seeks to pr…

More legislation being proposed to protect children and reform the Family court system. This time in Maryland. We need to bring bills like this to our Florida legislators. Maryland Bill seeks to protect children from abusive parents in Family Court

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/bill-seeks-to-protect-children-from-abusive-parents-in-family-court/

Bill seeks to protect children from abusive parents in Family Court More legislation being proposed to protect children and reform the Family court system. This time in Maryland. We need to bring bills like this to our Florida legislators. Maryland Bill seeks to pr…

Kayden’s Law passes in Pennsylvania.Kayden’s Law

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/kaydens-law/

Kayden’s Law Kayden’s Law passes in Pennsylvania.Kayden’s Law

Click on the link below to read why Mia Farrow is still afraid of Woody Allen after years of supporting her daughter, Dylan Farrow, who has spoken out about the sexual abuse Woody Allen ( her step-father) put her through. Allen vs. Farrow

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/allen-vs-farrow/

Allen vs. Farrow Click on the link below to read why Mia Farrow is still afraid of Woody Allen after years of supporting her daughter, Dylan Farrow, who has spoken out about the sexual abuse Woody Allen ( her step-…

This sounds familiar! Love Bombing at first. Thinking you’ve found Prince Charming. Then you move in together and everything changes. It was the same with me and Vincent. This is typical of abusive men. They wait until you’ve invested in them in some way to start the abuse. And then...it just gets worse. FKA twigs describes her abusive relationship with Shia LeBeouf

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/fka-twigs-talks-about-her-abusive-relationship-with-shia-labeouf/

FKA twigs talks about her abusive relationship with Shia LaBeouf This sounds familiar! Love Bombing at first. Thinking you’ve found Prince Charming. Then you move in together and everything changes. It was the same with me and Vincent. This is typical of abusive…

Many abusive men believe they’re entitled to treat others the way they do. Excusing inappropriate behavior in children with sayings like “boys will be boys” leads to that entitlement. We must stop telling our young boys that their behavior is acceptable by excusing them with sayings like this. Boys AND girls will act the way their parents allow them to act....

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/stop-saying-boys-will-be-boys/

Stop saying “Boys will be boys.” Many abusive men believe they’re entitled to treat others the way they do. Excusing inappropriate behavior in children with sayings like “boys will be boys” leads to that entitlement. We must stop …

Kyras Law has been introduced into the New York Assembly. If passed, it will change the Family Courts and help women and children affected by domestic violence that are trying to divorce and escape from their abusers. We need to get this passed in all states. Why Kyra’s Law will change Family Courts

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/kyras-law/

Kyra’s Law Kyras Law has been introduced into the New York Assembly. If passed, it will change the Family Courts and help women and children affected by domestic violence that are trying to divorce and escape…

In 2016, Vincent filed for a Post Divorce Modification of Timesharing and Child Support. This was about 16 months post divorce and he wanted to go from every other weekend with Devon (80/20) to a 50/50 arrangement. The man that once told me I couldn’t go to the gym for an hour twice a week because he didn’t have time to babysit and raising children was a woman’s responsibility now wanted full responsibility for this child every other week....

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/the-baptism/

The Baptism In 2016, Vincent filed for a Post Divorce Modification of Timesharing and Child Support. This was about 16 months post divorce and he wanted to go from every other weekend with Devon (80/20) to a 5…

Coercive Control Laws have reached the US! Hawaii and California now both have Coercive Control Laws. Read this article and ask your representatives to get Coercive Control Laws passed in your state. Hawaii passes Coercive Control Law

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/hawaii-passes-coercive-control-law/

Hawaii passes Coercive Control Law Coercive Control Laws have reached the US! Hawaii and California now both have Coercive Control Laws. Read this article and ask your representatives to get Coercive Control Laws passed in your stat…

The Stop Abuse Campaign aims to protect children from the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), as defined by the Centers for Disease Control, are ten childhood traumas that include all forms of child abuse, neglect, and domestic violence. They are such profound traumas that they predispose children to a lifetime of poorer physical, mental, social and financial health. StopAbuseCampaign.org

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/stop-abuse-campaign/

Stop Abuse Campaign The Stop Abuse Campaign aims to protect children from the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), as defined by the Centers for Disease Control, are ten childhoo…

I'm back! I've started adding content to my blog site for survivors and victims of Domestic Violence and related forms of abuse including Coercive Control and Family Court Abuse. I hope it can provide resources and support for those that have escaped or are still suffering. And I hope it encourages others to speak out about their experiences. Please like and share and subscribe on Facebook and the blog site.

Let's find our voice together!

https://imfindingmyvoice.com

Finding My Voice A blog about surviving, thriving and speaking out after abuse.

We’ve been divorced 6 years. Child is 6. I have 80% custody. Vincent gets every other weekend. However, he has filed for more timesharing in the past (we settled on simply reducing his child support obligation to about 1/3 of what he should be paying) and continues the “parental alienation” narrative in every motion he files against me. There are many....

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/a-small-victory/

A Small Victory We’ve been divorced 6 years. Child is 6. I have 80% custody. Vincent gets every other weekend. However, he has filed for more timesharing in the past (we settled on simply reducing his child suppor…

FACTs (Families Against Court Travesties, Inc.) is an organization I've used here in Palm Beach County for my endless court battles with my narcissistic ex. It was formed by the South Palm Beach Chapter National Organization of Women. The volunteers attended my hearings and took notes. Their presence in the courtroom typically makes judges and attorneys be on they're best behavior. FACTs

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/facts/

FACTs FACTs (Families Against Court Travesties, Inc.) is an organization I’ve used here in Palm Beach County for my endless court battles with my narcissistic ex. It was formed by the South Palm Be…

Beth is a great resource for people trying to navigate the Family Courts. You can message her on her page with your questions and she will post them to her main page with her response so they are anonymous. She also offers research and coaching services. Do It Yourself Family Law

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/do-it-yourself-family-law/

Do It Yourself Family Law Beth is a great resource for people trying to navigate the Family Courts. You can message her on her page with your questions and she will post them to her main page with her response so t…

We need to BELIEVE VICTIMS! Evan Rachel Wood's testimony to congress about sexual, domestic abuse

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/evan-rachel-woods-testimony-to-congress-about-sexual-domestic-abuse/

Evan Rachel Wood’s testimony to Congress About Sexual, Domestic Abuse We need to BELIEVE VICTIMS! Evan Rachel Wood’s testimony to congress about sexual, domestic abuse

This is an excellent documentary on Narcissistic Abuse. Spot on. Narcissistic Abuse

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/documentary-on-narcissistic-abuse/

Documentary on Narcissistic Abuse This is an excellent documentary on Narcissistic Abuse. Spot on. Narcissistic Abuse

www.onemomsbattle.com

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/one-moms-battle/

One Mom’s Battle www.onemomsbattle.com

When I was 25 years old, I began a very unhealthy relationship with my now ex-husband, Vincent. There were many red flags that I ignored and I eventually married a man that was physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, financially and sexually abusive to me. He was and continues to be controlling, manipulative, bitter and angry. He is a narcissist and he will never change because he thinks he is perfect....

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/im-finding-my-voice-and-using-it/

I’m Finding My Voice….And Using It! Hello and Welcome! My name is Madeline. I’ve started this blog because I’ve been a victim of domestic violence and various types of abuse in my life. I’ve learned through the year…

New law targets abusive litigation by domestic violence perpetrators
https://imfindingmyvoice.com/new-law-targets-abusive-litigation-by-domestic-violence-perpetrators/

New law targets abusive litigation by domestic violence perpetrators Visit the post for more.

New Law targets abusive litigation by domestic violence perpetrators
https://imfindingmyvoice.com/new-law-targets-abusive-litigation-by-domestic-violence-perpetrators/

New Law targets abusive litigation by domestic violence perpetrators Visit the post for more.

When I was 25 years old, I began a very unhealthy relationship with my now ex-husband, Vincent. There were many red flags that I ignored and I eventually married a man that was physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, financially and sexually abusive to me. He was and continues to be controlling, manipulative, bitter and angry. He is a narcissist and he will never change because he thinks he is perfect....

https://imfindingmyvoice.com/im-finding-my-voice/

I’m Finding My Voice When I was 25 years old, I began a very unhealthy relationship with my now ex-husband, Vincent. There were many red flags that I ignored and I eventually married a man that was physically, verbally…

Evan Rachel Wood
https://imfindingmyvoice.com/evan-rachel-wood/

Evan Rachel Wood Visit the post for more.

This one is about the way he reacted when I miscarried. How did your abusers react to the news of a pregnancy, birth or loss?

February 14, 2013. That was the day I knew Vincent was incapable of love or empathy and was truly evil. In January of that year I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was excited. I know now that my desire to have a child was an attempt to find love...because I knew that Vincent didn't love me. [ 661 more words ]
https://imfindingmyvoice.com/february-14-2013/

February 14, 2013 February 14, 2013. That was the day I knew Vincent was incapable of love or empathy and was truly evil. In January of that year I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was excited. I know …

Red flags are easy to spot in hindsight. Now I can see all of the characteristics in Vincent that should have sent me running in the other direction: He was very angry and seemed to be proud of his Sicilian temper. His email address was "shortfuse". He was very controlling and obsessive and needed everything to be done his way. [ 290 more words ]
https://imfindingmyvoice.com/red-flags/

Red Flags Red flags are easy to spot in hindsight. Now I can see all of the characteristics in Vincent that should have sent me running in the other direction: He was very angry and seemed to be proud of his…