Michèle Dawson Haber, Writer

I'm pretty thrilled to have this piece in Severance Magazine which not only tells my step adoption story in a little more detail but also situates it in a larger context, complete with statistics and everything 😁

https://severancemag.com/step-adoptees/

Pleased to be interviewed by author and teacher Barbara Krasner for her newsletter, Writing the Past.

Writing the Past | November 2022 Writing Family History Sundays--via Zoom: November 6, November 13, November 20, and December 4 1:00 pm to 3:00 pm Eastern Time Fee: $30/session or $120 for the four-week cycle Writing the Past Tuesdays--via Zoom: November 8, November 15, November 22, and November 29 2:00 to 4:00 pm Eastern Time Fee:...

Thrilled to have a new publication out in the world—this one about my retirement! Check it out, it’s full of great reading! And, if you like the essay, please click the heart icon at the top and feel free to share! TIA.

I'm Retiring. Shouldn't I Be Celebrating? Michèle Dawson Haber examines the connection between her mother's decline and her mixed feelings about ending a chapter in her work life.

I've got freedom on my mind...

Time to turn and face the strange — Michèle Dawson Haber I love this line from David Bowie’s song, “Changes.” When I was young, I thought he was saying, “turn and break the chains” (which is also kind of apropos). Now there was a man who wasn’t a bit scared of change! What about me? Something new is coming my way and it’s more than just a ch...

I'm pretty psyched to be on The Women in the Middle podcast, which ran an episode about adoption that rocked my world and was the inspiration for the essay I wrote for the NYT. Suzy Rosenstein and I talk about pursuing our dreams in midlife, staying motivated, setting up accountability structures, the writing life, step adoption, and, of course, getting into the New York Times' Modern Love column! https://suzyrosenstein.com/ep-240-the-decision-to-create-your-life-tell-your-story-in-midlife-with-michele-dawson-haber/

"A journey of discovering the lost pieces of two lives, a father and a daughter, losing each other too soon, yet finding each other after all." Janice is a "war orphan." Her father died in WW2 while piloting a B-24 Liberator. After living decades without him, she decides to uncover all that she can about his life. Her journey and discoveries are a joy to read, and her watercolor illustrations and family photos make the story really come alive. It is a book of both heart and art and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Find it on her Etsy Shop, Stone Well Gardens Art or on the US Amazon site.

Written twenty-one years apart, these two page-turning, compelling memoirs deal with family secrets and the ways in which they impact the identity and mental health of the next generation. In After Long Silence Helen Fremont tells the story of how she and her sister dig into their parents’ mysterious and inconsistent family stories to reveal a whopper of a secret: they are not Catholic, as the girls have been raised to believe, but Jewish Holocaust survivors. Helen, with her sister’s help, embarks on a quest to find out all she can about their background. She writes her parents’ story with love and authenticity, showing us the tug-of-war between her parents’ wish to keep their trauma buried and their daughters’ need to know their histories. Extensively researched, Helen’s recreation of her parents’ WW2 experiences is powerfully rendered, staying with the reader long after the book is closed. In The Escape Artist Helen focuses the magnifying glass on herself and her sister, examining how her family’s secrets have shaped her and her sister’s identities and relationship. The book opens with Helen receiving news from her parents’ lawyer that she had been disowned. Helen is pretty sure it has to do not only with the publication of her first memoir, but also family dynamics fraught with mental illness, extreme loyalty, and fluctuating alliances. As she takes us into that world, we see how trapped she has become. Astonishingly free of blame, The Escape Artist is suffused with love for her imperfect family and is a testament of how far one must go to liberate oneself from the shackles of secrecy.

Being on This American Life was a fantastic way to close out 2021! The producer reached out to me after reading my NYT essay as it was a perfect fit for their Ghost in the Machine episode. Ira Glass and I talked for almost an hour and it was a wonderful experience. He warned me that my part would be quite short (it's in the Prologue), but I wasn't prepared for just how short. If you listen, don't sneeze, you may miss me! But I'm not complaining, it is This American Life after all!

In my blog I wrote about the experience and one part of the interview that was not included. You can read that here and also click on the hyperlink to listen to the episode: https://www.micheledhaber.com/blog/the-what-if-of-it-all-pride-amp-coffee

Image description: Painting by Francis Barraud called His Master's Voice. It depicts a dog with his nose next to the sound horn of an old fashioned phonograph machine, listening.

Thrilled to be featured on CBC Radio's Tapestry program with my sis!

How a secret trove of letters helped 2 sisters learn about the father they never knew | CBC Radio Michèle Dawson Haber and her sister Ruti pored over letters, photographs and audio reels to painstakingly assemble a profile of their father, who died when they were very young.

Thanks Right To Know for a place on your Narrative page! Right To Know is a non-profit organization that promotes understanding of the complex intersection of genetic information, identity, and family dynamic through education, mental health initiatives, and advocacy
https://righttoknow.us/category/mpe-narrative/

These lines by poet and memoirist Lemn Sissay ring so true to me! Sissay's 2019 memoir My Name Is Why is about his experience as an Ethiopian adoptee raised in a white adoptive family in Britain. Thanks to the Adoptees On podcast for introducing me to this writer. I can't wait to read this book!

This interview in Vogue by my writing buddy Leslie Camhi is fascinating. Leslie is the translator of this autobiographical novel by Violane Huizman, which received a rave review in New York Times Books. It really makes me think about the permeable lines between fiction and memoir.

Violaine Huisman’s Dazzling Debut Is All About Her Mother "I realized that becoming a mother gave me a completely different perspective on who my mother was. I started understanding the conflict that she had faced," says the novelist, who's book, The Book of Mother, is out today.

Andrea Ross’s memoir is about her decade-long journey exploring the wilderness and working as a ranger and guide while simultaneously moving toward a different, yet same kind of knowing: her biological roots. Rich with metaphor and thought-provoking observations connecting the history of the natural world and our biological lineage, Unnatural Selections is a must-read for anyone examining similar questions.

The genius of Negative Space is how fast and completely I got on board with following alongside the narrator on her quest and ensuring she was going to be okay. And as I watched her mature, challenge herself, and find meaning in her father's life, art, and absence, I felt as proud of all that she achieved as a fellow-father seeker can feel. Hers is a difficult journey, but with a happy ending: reconciled with her mother, in possession of as much of her father's life story as it was possible to gather, and at peace with herself and her decision to live out her life in celebration of all the gifts given to her by her father. I found much to relate to in this memoir.

I'm beyond thrilled to have my work published in the Modern Love column in the New York Times! Please share widely if you like it! (the best way to do this is from the NYT page itself, using one of the icons above the picture).

Hearing His Voice Changed Everything I never knew my father. Did he know me?

If you love memoir and biography and iconic American authors, this is the book for you!

I have just finished my second, close reading of this magnificent memoir by Natasha Trethewey. Anyone looking for the details of the crime that shaped the life of this two-term US poet laureate will have their curiosity satisfied--the backstory, the lead up, and the horrific facts of her mother's murder by an ex-husband in 1985--it's all there. More importantly, however, is a loving and complete portrait of her mother as an intelligent and driven woman, an accomplished professional and a devoted mother. But the reason to read the book is to come to understand that the stories we tell ourselves to survive, to make ourselves fit with the world rather than the world conforming to us, can be rewritten. Natasha Trethewey does the hard work and reliving, remembering and researching the past. She gives us her mother's voice and as she writes the story of her mother's life, her own is transformed. The horror and trauma - the official record - is replaced with a legacy and an inheritance. She hopes to save her mother, and in a sense she does. I felt it as a rebirth for both of them.

To summarize, this is a book that has much to offer the thoughtful reader and/or struggling writer. I recommend it without reservation.

This quote will keep me going a long time!

My two fathers gave me so much and I'm grateful.

The life of a writer often defies reason

Michael Grand's book, The Adoption Constellation was key in helping me understand why I'm so driven to excavate and tell my family story. https://t.co/CCtTlxHzH1

Michael Grand's book, The Adoption Constellation was key in helping me understand why I'm so driven to excavate and tell my family story.

I am thrilled to appear in the Life Stories section at Salon.com today. If you like the story and have the time and inclination, I would love to have your comment at the bottom of the article! Be warned though, that Salon.com will ask you to create an account first (it's pretty quick). Or, you can just comment here if you prefer. Thanks for reading!
https://www.salon.com/2021/05/08/its-my-mothers-fault-i-stole-her-letters/

It’s my mother’s fault I stole her letters The box of letters was where I had left it, untouched. She preferred to close things up and never think about them