Jellyfish Hymnal

This marks 500 posts! At the end of 2016 I shifted Jellyfish Hymnal from a blog to an Instagram account, now almost 5 years later on my 25th birthday I've scattered hundreds of pieces of art all over the place.

Thank you all for following this crazy journey and being witness to hundreds of doodles while I've been busy exploring and growing. Looking forward to even more years of spiritual creation and colorful projects!

Jellyfish, soft and free
Teach me to be one
With the deep, blue sea

Growth is by essence change, and
To grow life withdraws great change
On every level of a woman--
She is re-created in creating.

One cannot un-become a mother
It becomes a part of her in removal,
Sacrifices extracted from blood
From identity, and time itself.

Taken out of herself, another taken out of her,
Even she cannot see all that she gives
In becoming a vessel of becoming,
Re-created and creating beyond herself.

How small she feels, but the unseen weeps for joy
She is knitted in with the fabric of the universe,
Whose essence is motherhood, humming
With the ebb and flow of giving and receiving.

Life is never finished in one motion
A mother is never finished giving life
Since, as every child knows so well
Becoming does not end with birth.

TRANSFORMATION [2018 - 2021] One of those pieces that transforms the artist in the process of creating. Started in microsoft paint, ironically meditating on transformation, then I got shattered for a few years. Finally finished just now with different tools and changed life.

Don't pray a prayer for transformation--Lest it be answered in full.

Transformation is not a peaceful act.

Boiled, dissolved down to DNA,
Grown back up from that seed.
Transformation is a slow, violent act.

Brokenness is itself a praise to wholeness,
Dualistic, outside of time.

The work is finished.
You are in the process.
You are wrecked.
You are a masterpiece.

All together true, full stop.

The seed is never separate from the tree,
The butterfly is encoded in the caterpillar.

Created, un-created, re-created.
Transformation is an act of existence.

TRANSFORMATION WIP - Anyone remember this project from 2018 I never finished before my life got turned inside out?

I finally got my tablet working and decided it's time, though I gave up on Microsoft paint and quickly learned I have a crap ton to learn about digital art. 🤣

Finished work coming soon :)

• The Collective Perspective •

It's lonely in
out here

I can see
. everyone .
can see me

Seems like you
we are

Angles of an orbit •
• of the same sun

I don't often do portraits or caricatures because I cant quite get people's faces in the right order, but this Christmas I wanted to celebrate the adorable pictures I see of my amazing grandparents with my nephew.

Wish so bad I could be there with them! Happy Holidays everyone, whatever it looks like for you and your family this year. ♡

INKTOBER 2020 - CRAWL

No spectacular poem to end Inktober, just the word crawl reminded me of slugs. But I drew a snail instead because have a bad relationship with slugs after spending a couple months in a room which had them creeping in all the time. Snails, though similarly slimy and crawly, are somehow more endearing than their n**e counterparts.

Perhaps it's because I never had snails crawling in my shower that we have a more cordial, philosophic relationship. 😅

INKTOBER 2020 - OMINOUS

Sometimes I find mushrooms in my mind
Little symptoms of the soul, omens of deeper things.
Though we domesticate some poison to eat,
If we find them growing on their own
--Ominous of illness or pending breakdown--
We ought to clean out our mental spaces,
And freshen the fungus out from our heart.

INKTOBER 2020 - SHOES

I dislike shoes, though they protect me, walking without shoes lets me connect to something deeper. And sometimes I must also walk without feet, something in my spirit needs to connect even further.

"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of life.
In the end, to take a step without feet; to regard this world as invisible, and to disregard what appears to be the self."

Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - MUSIC

I used to be incapable of sitting in silence, I lived inside of songs and populated my thoughts with them. Over the years though, I've extricated myself from the music to where I deeply need the silence I used to be incapable of being comfortable in.

Silence punctuated every so often with song is more healing for my soul than constant submersion used to be.

INKTOBER 2020 - HIDE

"If you want the moon, do not hide from the night. If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns. If you want love, do not hide from yourself."
Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - BUDDY

Feeling a bit off today, so simple sketch and nothing too deep for this one (besides my neverending love for my buddy and best friend ) 😁

Living on the opposite sides of the planet from your best buddy in the whole world is super hard, especially when you have to take turns with the sun... But somehow we keep our worlds connected and she still inspires me every day. ♡

It's your turn with the sun buddy, have a fun Sunday! 😘

( You are also my buddy so this goes for you too. 😁)

INKTOBER 2020 - DIG

You have to dig,
Dig till you find water,
Your soul depends on it.
Grow deep roots,
Dig them down,
It is a part of the searching.

"Keep digging your well.
Water us there somewhere."
Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - RIP

Rip is both an action and an object, one of those aching dualities of a broken world dependent on sacrifice to function.

Ripping is the way in, and that holy grief becomes a part of your fabric.

Like the creator's Son who left the scars ripped into His hands to ressurect faith in His beloved ones, we choose whether to stop at our own healing or go on to take those marks to heal others.

INKTOBER 2020 - CHEF

A rare doodle from my life for today, based on true events 😂

I married a man who is secretly an amazing chef and takes care of my stomach very well. He shares half of the noodles he made for himself excitedly with me. And scolds me for drawing myself like a "pumpkin" because supposedly I am more beautiful than that 😝

We spend so much time in our lives eating, which is seemingly wasteful sometimes. But the secret is that relationship and community are built around the table, those we eat with and let eat with us shape our lives as we spend that time with each other. Even without talking, breaking bread (or noodles) together is a unifying and sometimes sacrificial act that is more important than we realize.

INKTOBER 2020 - SLEEP

"Even a soul submerged in sleep
is hard at work and helps
make something of the world."
- Heraclitus "Fragments"

INKTOBER 2020 - CORAL

You can't plant a jellyfish in the sand,
You can't grow coral on a wave.
Some soft bodied creatures rely on the sea,
Need to be carried along and fed on the way.
Others grow bony exoskeletons,
Build their life on sturdy structures below.
For some grounding is life giving,
Others must be loosed to stay alive.

Careful soft soul, know your season,
Don't confuse tentacles for roots--
But don't be afraid to cling with others,
And make a home.

INKTOBER 2020 - DIZZY

"We sometimes make spiderwebs of smoke and saliva
Fragile thought-packets.
Leave thinking to the one who gave intelligence.

In silence there is eloquence.
Stop weaving, and watch how the pattern improves.”
Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - TRAP

"Discard yourself and thereby regain yourself,
Spread the trap of humility and ensnare love."
Rumi

If love feels like a trap, it's because it is--
But it's one of the only traps in this world whose ultimate goal is to free you.
Vulnerability feels like being bait stabbed on a hook,
Sacrifice feels like an invitation for pain.
But how else can a starving soul catch love?
Love only swims between hearts that are laid bare for loving.

INKTOBER 2020 - STORM

"O furious Wind, I am only a straw before you;
How could I know where I will be blown next?
Whoever claims to have made a pact with Destiny
Reveals himself a liar and a fool;
What is any of us but a straw in a storm?
How could anyone make a pact with a hurricane?
God is working everywhere his massive Resurrection;
How can we pretend to act on our own?
In the hand of Love I am like a cat in a sack;
Sometimes Love hoists me into the air,
Sometimes Love flings me into the air,
Love swings me round and round His head;
I have no peace, in this world or any other.
The lovers of God have fallen in a furious river;
They have surrendered themselves to Love’s commands.
Like mill wheels they turn, day and night, day and night,
Constantly turning and turning, and crying out."

- Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - ROCKET

We can't breathe in space, but that doesn't stop us from building rockets to get us as close as we can to other worlds--even though we can still only look and touch through windows.

"At night, I open the window
and ask the moon to come
and press its face against mine.
Breathe into me.
Close the language-door
and open the love-window.
The moon won't use the door,
only the window."
Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - OUTPOST

"People try to make sense of things, and if they don’t know the answers, they make them up, because for some, a wrong answer is better than none."
- Ann Aguire "Outpost"

Denial is the last outpost of the insecure.
Unable to keep a false reality from crumbling,
We pitch our tents and defend our pretend.

INKTOBER 2020 - ARMOUR

Honestly these days I don't have any bones
Just an exoskeleton holding me together.
But thick skin is an illusory armour,
Prick me and I'll bleed out for days.

INKTOBER 2020 - DUNE

The future is loose sediment blowing towards you in the breeze,
When it passes through you it collects into mountains you'll never touch again.
Shape your life while the sand is passing through your fingers
Else time will bury you in its transitory dunes.

INKTOBER 2020 - SLIPPERY

Slippery--Hard to hold
Those spiritual truths we are told to cling fast to....

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known"
1 Cor. 13:12

"Jars of springwater are not enough anymore.
Take us down to the river.

The face of peace, the sun itself.
No more the slippery, cloudlike moon.

Give us one clear morning after another,
and the one whose work remains unfinished,

who is our work as we diminish,
idle, though occupied, empty, and open."
- Rumi

INKTOBER 2020 - DISGUSTING

Stare at a word too long and you'll start to doubt its meaning
Over-analysis kills the subject every time
Stare too long and even the spectacular disintegrates.

How could we have enjoyed those things? Disgusting.
If you think I'm beautiful, look closer.
Disgusting.
Did you see what she did?
Disgusting.

But disgust is a double edged disease,
A mirror and magnifying glass.
The observation of wisdom at times,
But more often a symptom of pride.
Careful calling things disgusting,
It might really be your heart.

INKTOBER 2020 - THROW

We claim to love the least of these
With our mouths, at least.
Us "humble" folks
Click, like, and share the kindness
Then wear blinders in the streets.
A life is a life is a life by our lips,
But we threw out our Lord himself
So where's the hope for these?
We'll never accept the real ones
Other humans are just concepts
We aren't compelled to love them, too.
We'll never accept the truth,
Every type of soul we've wasted
Is another fetus in the trash.

INKTOBER 2020 - TEETH

Bread crumbles,
Wine stains teeth.
Wish this eucharist would cleanse my flesh.
Jagged fractures in my cup
Require making new, not whole.
This token bread cannot resurrect me,
Wine fills the blood,
Doesn't transform it.
Mea culpa,
Through my own fault,

Your body broken for me,
Broken again between my teeth.

INKTOBER 2020 - FANCY

Snippets from John Keats "Fancy"

"Ever let the Fancy roam,
Pleasure never is at home:
At a touch sweet Pleasure melteth,
Like to bubbles when rain pelteth;
Then let winged Fancy wander
Through the thought still spread beyond her:
Open wide the mind's cage-door,
She'll dart forth, and cloudward soar.
O sweet Fancy! let her loose;"

"When the Night doth meet the Noon
In a dark conspiracy
To banish Even from her sky.
Sit thee there, and send abroad,
With a mind self-overaw'd,
Fancy, high-commission'd:--send her!
She has vassals to attend her:
She will bring, in spite of frost,
Beauties that the earth hath lost"

INKTOBER 2020 - RODENT

Something gnawing at the wires in my heart
Shorting out my circuits when I think
Something stinking in the corner
Hard to breathe.
It's my fault
I let them in
Seemed so innocent and sweet
Little Disney song became a plague
Now they're gnawing at the wires in my heart.

INKTOBER 2020 - BLADE

Every soft patch of grass is filled with blades,
Grasp one wrong and you'll slice your hand.
Nature's edges are sharper than they look,
Life is thin and fragile, but oh how it cuts you deep.

INKTOBER 2020 - RADIO

The mind of a nation seems to have its heartbeat in radio waves,
Constant talk drowns us from different sides.

From "Currents" by Bastille:

"I'm swimming to the surface
I'm coming up for air
'Cause you're making me feel nervous
I need to clear my head
I can't believe my ears
I don't wanna believe my ears

How can you think you're serious?
Do you even know what year it is?
I can't believe the scary points you make
Still living in the currents you create
Still sinking in the pool of your mistakes
Won't you stop firing up the crazies?

Oh my God, my God
I can't quite believe my ears"