Soul speaking with Phindi

Happy new week my loves ✨ no more blue Mondays akr..?😅 Let's get those positive affirmations rolling as we continue to manifest positivity into our lives. And remember, if it's not good for your mental health, DO NOT DO IT!!!🫶

Happy new month my loves 🥳 may December be a gentle reminder that not all hope is lost, that you possess so much light within you that can still shine if you allow it, that life is precious and you being alive right now is a great achievement. Continue to put your best foot forward as the year's not over yet, so much can happen in the remaining time. Most importantly, do not forget to be gentle on yourself and spread love and happiness while at it 💖 Enjoy the weekend my loves, responsibly ✨.

DEFINE YOURSELF FIRST ✨

We always talk about the need to help kids build a positive self concept from a young age but the truth is even adults struggle from feelings of self doubt and inadequacy. It's almost as if we are waiting for other people to constantly validate us and make us feel worthy . When there is nobody to do that for us we begin to question our identity.

This my loves, is why it is crucial to affirm yourself first, before other people do it for you. Self affirmation is when you say positive things to yourself, the more you say them the more you begin to actually believe that they are really true. Remember, your mind is very powerful in the sense that whatever you feed it always ends up manifesting.

Affirmations are also an excellent way of finding whether you have a positive self concept or not. For example, if you don't believe in yourself and you look at yourself in the mirror and affirm that you are going to be successful in your career chances are you might even break down. But here is the good news, after this breakdown comes the realization that you might be lacking in that area of your life and so you'll work towards getting to a place where you actually believe in yourself and your capabilities.

Let us paint clear and bright pictures of who we are in our minds my loves, pictures so bright that they cannot be made blurry by any external forces. If we all master this, believe me when I say we would all be untouchable. Also, if you feel like you haven't been doing a great job at defining yourself do not worry, there's a first time to everything. Remember, you are all you have got 💖.

Happy new week my loves ✨ please bear in mind that November is our month of gratitude where we look beyond those resolutions that we have not done justice yet, and just thank God for the gift of life. Being alive at this very moment is reason enough to celebrate, do not take it for granted 😊. As hard as it may be, try to always be grateful and keep on pushing. Remember, it all begins and ends in the mind 🧠 so keep your mental health at the top of that priority list 💖.

Happy Friyay my loves 💃🥳🥳 As you go into the weekend please remember to continue being kind to yourselves. Take some time off and rest, go out with friends, read a good book or anything that helps you to relax, as long as it doesn't endanger your health in any way.. Remember, a healthier body leads to a healthier mind and vice versa ❤️

LATE CONGRATULATIONS POST

A big shout out to all the graduates out there 🥳🥳🥳 That's a huge accomplishment worth celebrating and nothing and nobody should make you think otherwise. Yes, the unemployment rate is high , especially amongst young people but as I always say it begins and ends in the mind. Do not be discouraged, go out there and make your mark.

As the year is coming to an end, do some introspection and put career growth as one of your new year resolutions. Instead of limiting yourself and just saying you want to find a job, think outside the box. Apply for a government internship and also do some volunteer work, as low as the allowance is, unfortunately, these can be a gateway to you getting your dream job. Remember, the whole point is to grow your profile, make some valuable references and also gain some work experience while at it.

Parents, please be as supportive as you can be to your children, the job seeking stage is a very challenging and it can easily lead one to depression. Please show them that you are proud of them for getting those qualifications without reminding them that now they are unemployed. They know it already and trust me, it is not a good feeling. Consistently be their safe place and try not to add to their stress and anxiety.

Do not be mislead my loves, educational qualifications are still vital in life, there are some doors that can only be opened by certain qualifications. Instead of bringing graduates down with negativity let us be inspired to go back to school and do the same. Once again, congratulations my loves🎓💃 💃 higher and higher we go!❤️

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WHO ARE YOU?

Good morning my loves 🫶 As we approach the end of 2023 I would like to propose something, let us work towards finding our true selves. I have realized as we try to navigate our paths in life it can be very easy to forget our real identities, understandably so.

How do you let go of that brokenness to make room for the strong version that it has birthed..? How do you break up with that partner whom you have been with for a long time and still go back to being the happy, fierce individual you were before you even met them..? How do you move on from a series of failed job interviews and still hold on to those dreams and remember that you can still achieve them..?

Our definition of who we are has to be so firm that even when we go through challenges, they do not threaten it. Do not get me wrong,there will be times when you will wonder if you really are that person, but if you really know whom you are it will be a matter of time until you come back home, to your true self. You may lose that partner, that job, those family members and friends and believe me you will go through that undescribable pain but at the end of the day that deep identify will be your guide. It will be like a little beam of light in the dark. This is why it is crucial to always hold on tight to our identity my loves, and whenever you feel like the picture is getting blurry go back to the mirror and draw a clearer one. Because as painful as it is, people will come and go, things will come and go, so we are all we have ❤️

EMBRACING OUR SCARS💖

Most people, especially us young people, complaining about how our love lives are all over the place, how we are always moving from one relationship to the next, some of us even go on to pretend that we enjoy this. But here's the million dollar question, why are we so hungry and thirsty for romantic relationships that we cannot bear the thought of being alone? Why do we fear being single so much?

Do not get me wrong, companionship is an absolutely wonderful thing, but the problem is when now we obsess over it such that we literally move from one relationship to the next as though we are in search of someone to 'complete' us. I have realized that when one is single,they are compelled to see the parts of themselves that they might not be big fans of, in this time those childhood traumas are highly evident and their brokenness highly inevitable. Now this, I believe is why most of us are so afraid of being single. The sad part is we cannot have healthy relationships until we decide to take a moment, focus on ourselves and heal.

It is crucial to embrace your scars my loves, accept yourself and be content with whom you are before expecting another person to come and do that for you. If it means taking a break from dating and introspecting, do so, trust me when I say it will be worth it in the end. Go to therapy, allow yourself to go through the whole healing process. Remember, a healthier you=healthier relationships. And in case no one has told you, you are loved, you are enough and you matter 🫶.

Men and mental health🧠

November is the month of men's health and as you might have guessed, Phindi is mostly interested in their mental health. But the truth is there is no way we can separate physical health, mental health and all the other types of health there are, they are all intertwined. A decline in one causes a decline in all the other ones, an improvement in one causes improvement in all the other ones. This is why when one is depressed they also experience some physical symptoms like headache, body aches, weight loss due to lack of appetite and insomnia.

Now my loves, I have some questions; how much are we doing to assist men to be at their optimal best in their mental health? Is it enough? Do we need to do more? Let us introspect and make some amendments as necessary. As much as women like being loved and appreciated, the same applies to men, they too need to be listened to without being cut off, they too need to be checked up on now and then. It is hard enough for them having to break societal stereotypes about how they should always be tough and strong. Let us try to make things easier for them by showing them that it is okay to be vulnerable and ask for help when they need it. The world could really do with more mentally healthier men ❤️

Happy November my loves 🥳🥳🥳 congratulations on making it thus far. Let's keep on keeping on, do not give up just yet. So much can still happen in these remaining months, have faith. Do not forget to keep your mental health at the top of that priority list, always ❤️ .

DO NOT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF

It's okay to not be okay . Some days are better than others, do not feel bad and hold yourself accountable for not being your best after a long day🥹 it is perfectly normal to wake up on some days and just feel down, do not beat yourself up about it. There's nothing wrong with you, life is characterized by both positive and negative emotions. Therefore we should have the courage to embrace both, what we should not do however is to let the negatives overpower the positives.

Last day of October and here's a kind reminder to everyone who might feel like it wasn't their best month; 2023 is not over yet. We still have two months to go and believe me there's so much that can happen in this remaining time. Cry but do not stay down for too long, prepare yourself mentally to welcome November tomorrow and give it the same energy you gave to all the other months at the beginning of the year. Remember, you've got this ❤️

Good morning my loves 🥰 this is just a friendly reminder to continue being your biggest fan and cheerleader. We all love to be told that we are loved, that we are beautiful or handsome, that we matter and that we are good at what we do, but here's the million dollar question; do ever we say all these positive words of affirmation to ourselves? Do we ever take time to just appreciate ourselves and sort of set an atmosphere of positivity within us? The kind of atmosphere that'll help us conquer even when we face challenges out there 🥹the kind of atmosphere that'll remind even after having an awful day that we tried our best.

There is a first time for everything, so don't worry if your answer to the above question is No . Start today, and try to be consistent while at it. Remember, we cannot and should not expect good things from other people when we don't do them for ourselves. Change starts within us.Moso o o montle baratiwa 💖 Go out there and be your best, and most importantly choose to be happy throughout the day 🥰. And please drink lots of water too✌️

Hello my loves 🤗 it's been a fully packed week with special days like World Mental Health day on Tuesday and International day of the girl child yesterday. Hope you celebrated to the best of your ability made them memorable🥰. Social media was also buzzing with mental health posts which was really beautiful to see, but remember everyday is a mental health day so we should keep the momentum, let it not be a one day thing only. Remember, you are loved, you matter, your mental health matters💖.

Moso o o montle my loves 🥰happy new month y'all 🎉🎊💃 I hope you are all enjoying the long weekend whilst getting the much needed rest. Let us continue grinding and working towards being better versions of ourselves, be it mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, physically and financially. And while we are at it, let us also remember to congratulate ourselves and thank God for the answered prayers 💖

Good day my loves 🥰 I hope September has been treating you all well. Phindi's just here to remind you that it's okay to seek help whenever you feel overwhelmed, it's okay to want to be better; to heal from some stuff we might not talk about mostly childhood traumas, it's okay to take time off and just focus on getting better whenever we're not mentally and emotionally fine ; the same way we go on sick leave when we are physically unwell 🥺 its actually a sign of strength.

It warms my heart to see most of us starting to open up and talk about what we went through as kids and how that has played a role in whom we've turned out to be, especially young people. It is only this way that we'll be able to raise a generation of psychologically healthier children😇. I think it's safe to say there's a psychological enlightenment going on, bit by bit we are all realizing that our mental health is just as important as our physical health.

Remember, September is the month of su***de prevention, let us keep on being our brothers' and sisters' keepers ❤️ sometimes all we need is someone to listen and remind us that we do matter.

You are the one 💖

Hello my loves 💝 Big Big hugs to each and every one of you for making it to month 9💃💃💃 isn't God just amazing? 🤗

Ever thought about how we, especially us ladies, spend a lot of time talking about waiting for the one..? It's almost as if we exist to one day wake up and meet Prince charming and sadly that's how we measure our success 🥺 most of our problems are relationship problems, and that might be because of how we've centered our whole lives on that one aspect. Whenever our love relationships don't work out we literally break down and lose ourselves because we've sort of programmed our minds to think that that is the main reason we live.

Now Phindi has a tiny request for you my loves, instead of wasting your all your single years focusing all your energy on men, who most of the time are not focusing on you, focus on yourself. Do everything you've always wanted to do for yourself, push your goals 😇 until you are content. This way, if God blesses you with a life partner you will make a healthy girlfriend and ultimately a wife, and if He doesn't, you will survive on your own because you haven't made your whole life about someone else. Brace yourself, no one will come to save you, you are all you've got. Believe me, you are the one you've been waiting for💞

BE KIND ALWAYS 💖

Hello my loves 🥰. When was the last time you greeted a stranger with a smile on your face..? When was the last time you said '... thank you..' with a genuinely grateful heart..? When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone who desperately needed help..?

I've realized that we invest a whole lot more on self love that we end up forgetting the importance of taking care of each other while at it. Yes, we should put ourselves first always but let us not be self absorbed and self centered that we deliberately hurt those around us.

We've become a society that celebrates each other's downfall more than achievements 😭it is very sad how bad news spread faster than good news. We see our neighbour's breakthrough as a threat to our own 🥺 and that is really not how it's supposed to be. It is not too late my loves, a re ikgateng motlhala re baakanyeng. Let us all be our brothers' and sisters' keepers ❤️

Hello my loves 🥰 moso o o montle baratiwa. I hope the new month is treating you all well 🤗. Earlier on this morning I was watching a video of a very successful musician in an interview where he was just sharing some of his experiences, when asked about his journey in the music industry he openly disclosed how he'll forever be grateful to one certain veteran whom he believe had a very big contribution to his success. In his words, he '.. opened the door for him.. '.

Honestly this seemed to be the most genuine piece of information I've heard in a really long time. When asked for advice, we often hear people talk about working hard, not giving up, building a strong work ethic and so on but we rarely hear them give credit to other people who assisted them on their way up. Now this is worrisome because almost most of the time the people we look up to got there because a destiny helper somewhere decided to take a leap of faith and invest in them and their talent.

This is why it is so important to mould our character my loves, because it plays a very fundamental role in networking and building connections. The lady you engaged with on a short conversation yesterday might be the CEO of the company you've always dreamed of working at, that stranger you met and weren't really nice to today might be the door to your financial breakthrough. It is always the little that we take lightly that matter the most.

So as we continue to work hard, let us ask God to continuously work within us and transform us into whom He created us to be. Try to be kind, even on your worst days because people may forget many things but they'll never forget how you treated them and made them feel. And remember, you have to be kind to yourself first 💖

SELF FORGIVENESS 🤗

We always talk the importance of forgiving other people, but have you thought about how we also need to forgive ourselves, even more than we forgive other people..?🥺

Sometimes we deny ourselves real growth because we are failing to make peace with some events that happened in the past, we are still helplessly holding on to them. For example, some friendships and relationships that failed, opportunities that we feel like we could have done better to get 🥺 mistakes that changed our lives forever 🥺 the list goes on. But whatever may have happened in the past, I have a little request for you today, learn from it and let go. You didn't know then what you know now, please don't hold yourself hostage.

Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, grow that's the only way you can ever be genuinely happy again❤️.

Good day my loves 🥰 just a friendly reminder to take care of your mental and emotional as much as you take care of your physical health. Believe it or not most of our physical illnesses are caused by poor mental and emotional health. Stop over thinking about stuff you have no control over, do what you can and leave the rest to God, open up to your loved ones if something is bothering you, or better yet go to see a professional. Not forgetting pampering yourself each and every chance you get, go botlhokwa 🤗.

Happy weekend ❤️ take care 🥰

Good morning my loves 💖 This is just a kind reminder to be happy 🥺 decide to be spread love and happiness everywhere you go, whenever you get the chance to. One thing for sure, challenges will always be there, life will always be hard and we don't have the power to change that.

We do have power however, to choose to lead positive and joyful lives regardless of everything going on around us🥰 Smile more, laugh more and be just be a little kinder to others. You'll be pleasantly surprised to see how easier life becomes once you stop stressing over stuff you have no control over and just breathe 😌 Always remember, we were created to be carriers of light and light only, not darkness💖 Tlholang sentle 🤗

But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.
Psalm 5:11

Second half of 2023 is that you..? 🥺💃💃 Congratulations for making it thus far my loves 💖 our God is really an overly awesome God. Let's give it the same energy we gave to the first half 🥰 the race is not over yet. Remember, it all begins and ends in the mind ❤️

Good day my loves 🥰only a few days left before we say goodbye to the month of June. Please remember to always be kind to yourself🥺 you are doing the best that you can. Be patient with yourself, you might not have your dream job, dream house, dream car and many more yet but it doesn't mean you are any less valuable. You matter, you are loved and you'll get there one day 🤗 you will heal, you will succeed, you will grow and blossom 🌷don't doubt it. Baby steps right..? ❤️

Life goes on 💖
Hello my loves 🤗 one thing I've learnt about life is that it will go on, regardless of what going on in one's life. As painful as it is, it's a very sad reality we have to accept. In a perfect maybe we'd all have the power to pause our lives and deal with our problems, cry our sorrows away for as long as we want to 🥺 but that's not an option. We have to continue living through the pain.

There are times when you'll have to show up even during your worst days, when you've just lost a loved one, when you've just got your heart broken by a partner, when you are battling anxiety and depression 😭 that's life 🥺 and so much more. Impilo iyaqhubeka my loves 😞There's always going to be something going on but we can't then decide to close our curtains and drown in our sorrows for too long while life passes us by. It's hard and seems almost unreasonable , but you'll heal much better and faster while you are out there, seeing and engaging with your loved ones.

So whatever it is you are going through, I pray that God continues to strengthen you so that you finally see that there's a possibility of a beautiful future beyond that pain. Remember baby steps ❤️

Moso o o montle baratiwa 💖 I hope you are still hanging in there, giving life your best shot.

After engaging with several young people I've come to the realization that in addition to life being extremely challenging nowadays, most of us are suffering from continuous clash between whom we were before and whom we are now. It's not we are being bashed by other people or labeled as failures, but somewhere deep within us, we feel hopeless and think we are not living up to the standards we'd set ourselves growing up. We somehow feel like we have failed ourselves.

To bring the point home, take an unemployed graduate who grew up not just booksmart, but also streetsmart with big dreams, now having to live off from temporary jobs 🥺 now this is still the same person right..? Awesome work ethic, great personality and all that, but they might feel like life is no longer the same, that they are not doing enough 😭 that they've lost that fire that they've always had inside of them.

Anyone going through the same thing, let me remind you my love, you are not a complete failure. The fact that you are there renting that one room, waking up everyday to hustle and make a living makes you an even bigger warrior. That's what growth is all about, experiencing both happiness and pain. One day when God has answered your prayers, you'll testify and motivate those that will come after you. 🥺 Everytime you feel like giving up remember that there are millions of people coming after you who stand to benefit from your story if you'd just keep on. Remember, one day at a time ❤️

Good morning my loves🥰 After much observation, I've noticed that we often get too preoccupied with our individual daily challenges that we end up forgetting the main reason of our coexistence ; to be there for each other. Each and everyone of us is just too busy pretending to be okay 🥺putting on a mask to make it look like we are coping with everything going on around us. It's almost as if we are all trying to prove a point, faking it till we make it, on your own . Even that lady who doesn't look talk to anyone and isn't friendly at all is just trying to repress all the pain they are feeling inside😑 you'd be shocked to find out that it's all just an act so as to block anyone who tries to get close to them.

But here's the sad truth, we need each other ; see those friends you've 'cut off' while you face your demons, you need them and they need you too , your siblings whom you rarely talk to, you need each other. God created us so that we may love each other, be each others' keepers and live happily TOGETHER😇. Obviously we'll have conflicts here and there, it's human nature but let us normalize spreading love and happiness all around us. No man is an island, we all need each other.

Life isn't easy yes, for all of us but here's the beauty of it all. A simple smile from a total stranger can turn my worst day into a slightly brighter one, 🥺 a little chat with my brother about how much of a blessing I am to him can change my whole mood from a 2 to a 8 or even 9💃 that laughter shared with my friend about a funny encounter they had at work can easily lift my spirits in ways I never imagined. At a certain point in time we all have the power to make someone a feel little happier, loved, and more hopeful. This is why we should make it a daily goal to put a smile on someone's face and plant a seed of love everywhere we go. Remember, love conquers all ❤️

Happy new month to you my loves 🎉🎊💃 The last month of the first half of 2023 is here and you and I are still here 🥺definitely something to be grateful for ❤️ let us make a memorable one. Go back to the drawing board and go through those resolutions again, it's not too late. See how far you've come and applaud yourself, make some changes where necessary and try again. You will eventually succeed. Remember, it all begins and ends in the mind 🥰

It's okay to not be okay 🥺

Hello my loves 🥰 going through a rough time..? Feeling like a total failure..? Hurt by other people's actions..? Just here to remind you that there is nothing to feel bad about, that's perfectly normal. One of the toxic norms about our society is that from a young age, when a child cries even for reasonable things they are reprimanded immediately and told to not be 'cry babies'. We label strength as the ability to suppress sad emotions, showing that you are hurt is often seen as a sign of weakness which is completely wrong. Strong people are not those who do not ever get hurt but those who are able to still find it within themselves to genuinely be happy after going through painful situations. So, you are not wrong to allow yourself to feel all the pain. Go through the full healing process, it's okay. But please don't stay there❤️

Moso o o montle baratiwa ❤️

Some time last year I was blessed to be an attendee of a life changing workshop with Healthy Families Foundation which is doing an overly awesome job in building stronger families all around Botswana. One of my many highlights was the discussion we had on unmet expectations. We talked about how we were all created different from one another and that this then leads each and every one of us having different expectations. This may be in our love relationships, family relationships, friendships and even work relationships.
Nowadays, we, especially us young people, often times talk about how our love relationships always go wrong.

Jaanong ke tswa go le tsamaela ko The Thabas bathong 😂😂😅 I think most of us are having really bad relationships because we might not be doing things right. Most of us expect waaaay too much from other people. For example, hoping that we'll become happy once we have a partner, which is impossible because the truth is real happiness and peace should come from within. When this fails, we get dissaponted and then blame them for our misery. So what happens is that we end up finding ourselves moving from one relationship to the next in search of something that we'll never ever find.

This my loves, is why it is so important to be content with whom we are as individuals first, because partners are meant to complement us, not complete us. If possible, even take a break from dating while striving to find this inner peace. Trust me, it will all be worth it at the end ❤️