Lisa Haug

I’ve come to learn that every traumatic experience in life leaves you with two choices on how to react. You either choose to give into the trauma, allowing it’s darkness to overshadow the rest of your entire life or you choose to face it heads on with the possibility that doing so will grant you the healing and sense of freedom that deep down you’re longing for.

Many people will take the first choice because it means they don’t have to deal with the uncomfortable emotions, fear and sadness their trauma has left them with. It’s the “safer” choice, because there’s only one outcome; a future that’s defined by the remnants of your trauma. The second choice is a lot harder to make because it involves a lot of pain, faith and uncertainty, which so many of us fear.

For many years I chose the “easier” way out. Yes, it was safe in a way, but it was also incredibly unfulfilling, because it never gave me the peace I really wanted. I stayed stuck in an eating disorder that in the end almost cost me my life; physically, mentally and emotionally.

It’s not been long since I made the choice to pick the second option instead, but what I can tell you so far is that I’m finally beginning to understand the real meaning behind healing.

It’s supposed to be messy, scary, and uncomfortable. Heavy, draining and uncertain. Sometimes you’ll wonder how something that’s supposed to save your life, feels like it could be the end of you. But that’s how you know you’re healing. And it feels sooo good to feel instead of being numb all the time.

We must FEEL IT TO FREE IT.

I can promise you that the smallest glimpses of light in my recovery life still by far outweigh the brightest of moments in my eating disorder.

So whatever trauma you’re currently battling, I want to place on your heart to trust. I’m sure the life that’s out there, somewhere, will be worth every single tear that’s secretly lacing your heart right now.🤍

What is love to you?

To me… love is freedom. Love is getting lost in the imagination of your inner child so deeply that their thoughts become reality. Love is the peace in your heart when you’ve experienced a moment so beautiful it can’t be put into words. Love is the warmth inside your chest after a cold, dark winter that made you lose faith in the advent of summer. Love is respect. Looking yourself in the eyes with a smile, knowing that not all parts of you need to be liked equally to be treated well. Love is when someone sees you, not just on a surface level, but all of you and stays. Love is messy. Exhausting. Even painful. Love is being vulnerable. Being human. Love is the river that runs from your eyes when everything becomes too much to hold, whisking away the face you so often wear, until all that remains is the person you were before life covered you in heartache. Love is knowing that eventually, somehow, it’s all going to be okay. Even when it feels like it never will. When you open your eyes you can find love in all that surrounds you and all that is in you. Because you are love.

Something that’s been crossing my mind on my self-love journey recently.🤍

You have to ask yourself what you’re living for, who you’re living for and if none of the answers begin with you, then it might be time for a change.

In recovery I realized I was living a complete lie. Pretending I was okay when really I was anything but okay. On the outside it might have looked like I was, portraying the facade of the “perfect” daughter, friend, sister, girlfriend and student. Inside, however, I was in a constant battle with my thoughts. I lived for an illness that told me I wasn’t enough. Pretty enough, capable enough, worthy enough.

For years, I tried to convince it otherwise by trying to change my body and chasing a deceiving ideal of beauty. For years, I knew nothing but pain, sadness and torture. For years, I waited for the life that would finally bring me the happiness I was longing for.

But that never came.

I think that eventually you reach a point where you realize that you can’t keep living the way you have. Because it’s your life and it’s up to you to make it count. So let every day be yours, spend it with people who understand the type of love you carry in your bones, own your life and never ever apologize for who you are. And never ever live your life for anyone or anything else than you.

I’m so glad I chose recovery, even though it’s hard sometimes.🤍

I’ve been vegan for over five years now and the only regret I have is not finding this lifestyle sooner. Not only has it helped me heal physically, as I was suffering from the most painful digestive issues that went on to negatively shape my relationship with food and instilled the idea that all food was to be feared, but it has cracked me open mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in ways I think you have to experience for yourself.🕊️

The physical benefits of this lifestyle are endless; optimal digestion, clear skin, boundless energy, and effortlessly getting into your best shape, but there’s so much more than that. My entire relationship with myself, food and the world has changed. I no longer see food as something that will harm me, but can nourish all parts of me.🍉🍇🥬🍏✨💗🍌

The biggest advice I can give to anyone starting their journey is:

1. Eat as many fruits and vegetables as you like and ENOUGH of them, since they’re high in fiber and water but lower in energy than animal foods. No restrictions here!
2. Plan out your meals and make sure to always have fresh produce at home.
3. Cut out processed foods, like refined sugars, gluten and oils. They’ve been stripped of most their nutrients and don’t provide much nutritional value.
4. Find 3-5 recipes you like and make them on repeat. Especially at the beginning it can be helpful to keep things easy.
5. And always remember: consistency> perfection.

I’ve learned so much over the last five years and what I’ll share with you is that every step you take MATTERS. Start with one smoothie a day, one meal of fruit, even a salad. Return to your why, which should always be to become the happiest and healthiest version of yourself.

If you want to learn more about plant-based nutrition, raw foods and how to achieve food freedom and body peace DM me and we can set up a free coaching discovery call to see how I can best support you on your journey.🤍

Much love always,
Lisa

What does food mean to you? What relationship do you have with it? Is it just something you do without thinking about it, eating whatever you “crave”, is it a tool you use to deal with internal conflict, or do you eat simply to supply your body with physical energy?

I believe that food can either be nourishing or it can be punishing.

When food is nourishment, it is life-giving, sustaining, delicious, healthy, rooted in nature, beautiful, freeing, and abundant. When food is punishment. It is life-taking, short-lived, confining, addicting, toxic, man-made, stressful and painful, and lacking.

Recently I’ve been asked a lot of questions on how I maintain a raw and vegan diet, how to not slip back into old patterns, and how to in general live a healthy lifestyle. I went vegan on March 1st 2019 and have never looked back. I went from suffering from severe digestive issues to now being completely symptom-free. I went from feeling like a stranger in my own body to finding a lifestyle that felt like coming home. I truly believe that if it wasn’t for this lifestyle, I wouldn’t be alive today. It’s been over five years, and while my journey has had its ups and downs, I can confidently say that I’m finally turning into the strong and confident woman I always had been looking for. This journey has changed me and given me life, and I’m forever grateful.🙏🏼

I’ve learnt so much over the last five years, from what it means to have food freedom and body peace, I’ve learnt that there are ways to properly follow a raw vegan or vegan diet, that DON’T deplete the body even further, and I’ve learnt that Mother Nature will always hold the deepest possible healing.🌱

While it may look like it’s all about the food, it’s so much more than that. It’s a mind, body, spirit transformation. And that’s what keeps me on this path.❤️

If you’re looking for support on your journey, whatever it may look like, I now accepting clients to my coaching program Trinity Healing. Send me a DM if you want more information or if you want to book afree 30 minute discovery call with me to discuss how I can support you on your journey.🕊️

I’ve been intentionally spending more time alone.

I realised that after everything I lived through last year, I still had so much processing, mourning, and healing to do that in my mind I’d already ticked off my to-do list. After spending over 8 months in treatment, I found myself with such deep emotional wounds that it was easier for me to pretend like they weren’t there because I just didn’t know how to deal with them.

Many people don’t understand how much it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place. My recovery journey has been life saving, however, the mental, emotional, and even physical pain it took to get to where I am today is something I don’t even know how to put into words.

From being in hospital for months, not allowed to leave my bed, being watched 24/7, as in someone sitting next to me even while I was sleeping, because they thought an anorexic couldn’t be trusted, being vein-fed because my body couldn’t absorb the food it was finally receiving, and doctors treating and speaking to me so badly, I lost all my faith in our medical system. To being in-patient at an eating disorder clinic, where all your sense of worth is reduced to numbers, and therapists care more about tearing you down even further, rather than empowering you. Those are only small parts of what my life looked like last year.

It makes me sad to know that that’s what our healthcare system looks like these days. And while I’m sure there are people who have had other, more rewarding experiences, that wasn’t my reality.

I believe with all my heart that recovery and healing is possible for all of us. When we dig deep, do the inner work, allow ourselves to cry when we need to, and in the process make space for love and light to re-enter our lives and heal the wounds of our past…

I’ve proven to myself that I have all the tools I need to navigate ANY road.

I’m building a home within myself, that’s going to be a peaceful and graceful place, with a hint of fire and badass energy.🌹🔥

Lisa 2.0
Welcome home.🕊️

This is not the easy path. If you’re on this road with me, please know you’re not alone. I’m here doing the work with you.✨

I’ve been intentionally spending more time alone.

I realised that after everything I lived through last year, I still had so much processing, mourning, and healing to do that in my mind I’d already ticked off my to-do list. After spending over 8 months in treatment, I found myself with such deep emotional wounds that it was easier for me to pretend like they weren’t there because I just didn’t know how to deal with them.

Many people don’t understand how much it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place. My recovery journey has been life saving, however, the mental, emotional, and even physical pain it took to get to where I am today is something I don’t even know how to put into words.

From being in hospital for months, not allowed to leave my bed, being watched 24/7, as in someone sitting next to me even while I was sleeping, because they thought an anorexic couldn’t be trusted, being vein-fed because my body couldn’t absorb the food it was finally receiving, and doctors treating and speaking to me so badly, I lost all my faith in our medical system. To being in-patient at an eating disorder clinic, where all your sense of worth is reduced to numbers, and therapists care more about tearing you down even further, rather than empowering you. Those are only small parts of what my life looked like last year.

It makes me sad to know that that’s what our healthcare system looks like these days. And while I’m sure there are people who have had other, more rewarding experiences, that wasn’t my reality.

I believe with all my heart that recovery and healing is possible for all of us. When we dig deep, do the inner work, allow ourselves to cry when we need to, and in the process make space for love and light to re-enter our lives and heal the wounds of our past…

I’ve proven to myself that I have all the tools I need to navigate ANY road.

I’m building a home within myself, that’s going to be a peaceful and graceful place, with a hint of fire and badass energy.🌹🔥

Lisa 2.0
Welcome home.🕊️

This is not the easy path. If you’re on this road with me, please know you’re not alone. I’m here doing the work with you.

Love,
L

I believe that people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When people come into our lives for a reason, it is usually to teach us something. Sometimes these lessons are self-chosen, such as when we want to learn a specific skill, other times, they’re forced upon us and make us question our sense of worth and the good in people. Either way, we leave with new emotional, mental, spiritual, or even physical insight.

Someone who comes into our lives for a season, might be good for us for a specific period of time. We can share, learn, and grow together, but eventually, our lives take different paths. I don’t think this has to be bad, sometimes it simply means that you evolve into different directions.

Lifetime relationships are built on a deeper, emotional foundation. They’re rare to find and require a lot of work, which is why they are so special. It’s the people we can be our most naked selves with and who accept us nonetheless.

I think the secret is learning to see the value in all of them, no matter the pain or sense of loss that might be attached to them.

I’ve had my trust broken so many times I stopped counting. It can be challenging to see the good in such kind of pain when you’re in it. However, I’ve learnt that sometimes the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places.

The most toxic people can teach us the most important lessons.

Our most painful struggles can gift us the most necessary growth.

And the most heartbreaking losses can make room for the most amazing people to enter our lives.🦋💫🙏🏼

What seems like a curse in the moment might actually be a blessing. We can’t lose faith in ourselves, sometimes things don’t happen TO us, but FOR us. We have to pick ourselves back up an move forward, because no matter how difficult things seem in the moment, those moments pass and eventually, we will make it through.🙌🏼

Who are your lifetime kind of people? Let them know so in the comments🤍

It takes courage to be vulnerable.

Not many people are brave enough to openly share the things they struggle with, are insecure about or maybe even feel shame about. I think that often, this can makes us feel very lonely in the things we’re going through and feel.

The process of becoming requires much vulnerability and honesty. Healing is not about building up any more barriers, but rather about tearing them down. It’s the act of allowing yourself to be YOU.

I often feel like I must be the only one who just can’t get it right. When o started my recovery from anorexia it was so obvious that something was wrong. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that the future I was dreaming of was waiting for me somewhere. One, that wasn’t marked by bad body image, fear around food, and feelings of inadequacy. I’ve worked hard on myself to get to where I am today. And im proud of everything I’ve achieved so far. Still… am I fully happy? To be honest… no.

I still struggle sometimes. I’m not telling you this to scare you of recovering or for anyone to feel bad for me, I’m telling you this, because I know that there are others out there feeling similarly.

If you’ve been holding onto anger or resentment toward yourself perhaps my words can be a sign that you are not alone. Forgiveness and acceptance are powerful. You can learn to move forward from an empowered place. I know that my heart longs for forgiveness and acceptance. It wants to find peace.

The road to the unknown is worth taking. Every day I’m grateful that I’m not where I used to be anymore. She’s the energies that no longer match the frequencies of the love that you are.🤍

Sending everyone the biggest hug and so much love
🕊️🌱💫✨

My current goal is to achieve a greater sense of balance and well-being in life. I’m sharing what this looks like for me to hopefully inspire you to take that little bit more care of yourself.

It’s through self-care that we show ourselves love✨💫

There are five main priorities I always make sure to do on a daily basis. Some might think they seem small, basic, or insignificant, to others they might seem impossible, overwhelming, or… but to me these things are what keep me balanced on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level.🫶🏼

First, is eating a colorful and nutrient-rich vegan diet. Some of you may know that I used to suffer from severe digestive issues all throughout my childhood and I’m confident that the standard Western diet was a key contributor to that. I have spent years healing my relationship with food and while I’m still very much in the learning process, I’m a living testimony that what you put into your body matters🌱🍉🥭🍇

My second priority is movement. I feel good when I move. Creating a sustainable, vitalizing exercise routine is key to full body wellness.💪🏻

Next, is getting adequate sleep. After having had a very messed up sleeping schedule, falling asleep at 5 or 6 in the morning, I’m so glad it’s finally returned to a normal rhythm. Your body can’t operate properly when it’s in a constant state of stress.🌚💫

Fourth, is spending time in nature. Connecting to nature is how we connect to ourselves. And if the sun finds its way out, that’s just an added bonus to make my heart happy.🌞

My last ritual is practicing gratitude. Finding the good things in every day keeps me humbled and positive. It’s so powerful and can turn a seemingly dark day into a bright one.🍀🕊️

I hope you find ways to incorporate at least some of these tools into your daily routines. Never underestimate the power of self-care.
🌸🌸🌸

Much love,
~L

Healing is a lonely journey.

Most people aren’t willing to do the inner work, to face their fears, and taking the steps required for them to become the best version of themselves.

I’m at a place in my life where I’ll do anything to protect my inner peace. After going through so much, I’m not going to put myself in a position where the self-love I’ve worked so hard on creating is ever questioned again.

And sometimes setting those boundaries to ensure that I can continue with my inner healing is indescribably painful. Because it means that I can’t do certain things or be around certain people that don’t see how much strength it takes to pull yourself out of such a dark place.

You see, not everyone is going to understand why you do what you do or support you in your choices. However, many are going to have an opinion about it. That’s where it’s so important to stand up for what you believe in and still do what you know in your heart is best for YOU.

✨I choose to show up to therapy every day, because it’s helping me work through my trauma and move forward with my healing
✨I choose to share my journey online, because I want to educate people on the topics of mental health, physical well-being, and wellness and because I believe that’s what I was put on this earth to do
✨I choose to eat raw vegan, because that’s how I feel my best and that’s what’s helping me heal a deeply scarred relationship with food and myself
✨I choose kindness and love over bitterness and hate, because that’s what my old me was longing for so long

Don’t give up on your dreams or on yourself. I truly believe that healing is possible for all of us, if you’re willing to put in the work, are patient with yourself, and care for heart❤️

Love,
~L

In a world that constantly tells you to do more, be more, achieve more… just be.

So many of us speak negatively to ourselves, whether consciously or unconsciously, so much it’s become habitual. I used to want to swap brains with someone because I just couldn’t seem to escape the thoughts telling me I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough, lovable enough.

That voice that you’re hearing is your ego. Your ego has been shaped by painful childhood experiences and is a natural protection mechanism striving to keep you safe so that you don’t have to relieve whatever pain you went through. It’s not inherently bad, it’s actually a beautiful thing if you learn to acknowledge it’s true purpose.

As you become more more self-aware, understand past trauma, gain clarity on your triggers, and understand why certain things made you feel a certain way, you’ll find that you’ll more easily be able to detach yourself from it and meet yourself with compassion, understanding and love where you need it.

Your experiences, while part of you, don’t define you, nor do they have to define your future.

If I have learnt one thing last year, it’s that I’m enough just the way I am. Body, mind, and soul. And I’m working every day on making my home a peaceful and empowered place to be🕊️

Sending you love🤍

~L

I’ve come to understand that your relationship with food is a direct reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and fear and these reflected onto my relationship with food.

As someone who’s known to “have it all figured out” I didn’t want to admit to myself how much these feelings were weighing on me. While on the outside my life might have looked “perfect” on the inside it couldn’t have been any messier.

The way I made that mess a little more bare able was by controlling what I was eating.
Some people go down the route of binge eating or eating other foods they know are harmful to their health. Others, fall down the slope of restriction and trust me when I say that slope hit deep.

If you want to experience the deepest possible healing that you can you have to start treating yourself with the love that you deserve. And ohhh do you deserve it🤍

If you’re struggling with your relationship with food, I encourage you to look at the relationship you have with yourself.

- What beliefs do you have about yourself?
- How has food become a coping mechanism for things in your life that feel out of balance?
- How do you talk to yourself?
- Do you use food for nourishment or punishment?

Afterwards ask yourself:
What is my relationship with food?

Your relationship with food and the one you have with yourself are so deeply connected. Love yourself enough to treat your body right🤍

Follow .official for more on how to achieve a deeper sense of love, food freedom, and body peace🌱

3 Harsh Realities In My Recovery (1/3)

Healing your relationship with yourself, your body, and food is an inside job.

I was deep into anorexia, completely numb to my emotions, living in a world that seemed nothing but dark. I felt disconnected from myself, anxiety ridden and hopeless. When I started gaining weight I was told that everything was going to be so much better once I gained the weight.

Biggest lie ever.

The more weight I gained the more the emotions came crushing down on me. Guilt, shame, sadness, fear, regret… there were many of them.

When you starve yourself of nutrients you also starve yourself of emotions. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense why anorexia, or any mental illness for that matter is such an effective coping mechanism. You turn off the lights on everything you don’t want to feel. And when they’re turned on again, you don’t even know where to look first.

Of course, eating is an important part of recovery, in my case it was life saving. But the real work begins when you “have” the weight, the emotions, and nothing to numb them anymore.

I’m not telling you this to not pursue recovery- recovering was the best gift I ever gifted myself- I’m saying this because I wish someone would have told me that when I was at my lowest. So I could have been more prepared. So that I would have felt less alone in all of this.

It is now my mission to make sure that women who are struggling like I was know that they’re NEVER alone. I know how dark and lonely it can be. But I’ve learnt that sometimes things need to get worse before they can get better.

If you’re struggling with your relationship with yourself, food, and your body, I’m currently working on a project for you. The ultimate guide supporting you on your transformative healing journey, body, mind, and soul. It may start with food but it goes so much deeper than that.

Follow .official for updates!

Much love,
L

~ Healthy Eating in recovery

I’ve always found it very tricky that people in the recovery space often aren’t encouraged to eat “healthy”. As someone who’s always been very health conscious, having people tell me that I’d only be healthy if I’d go out for pizza or McDonald’s with my friends, that just kept me from pursuing recovery in the first place. I didn’t want to go from one extreme to the other, but instead learn how to eat a healthy and sustaining vegan diet, that incorporated all the foods I truly enjoyed, including fruits and vegetables. I always found it way more inspiring to see other women eating that way, as opposed to seeing yet another “challenging fear foods McDonald’s edition” video on YouTube.

I can’t tell you how many times throughout my time in treatment I was advised to reframe from my vegan diet. That I was making my life so much more difficult. That it was just another eating disorder. The most ridiculous thing one of the nutritionists told someone was that if she cared so much for the animals she could go walk a dog at the shelter. Now, almost a year after my first admission, I’m still vegan, back at a healthy weight and I managed to do so, on a pony-based diet. I’m not saying that that’s going to be the right thing for everyone, but for me I’ve found it to be the most abundant and freeing medicine for my journey. Although the fear around eating was huge, especially at the beginning of my recovery, I kept on eating because I knew and felt that these foods were doing me well.

That’s the reason why I decided to write a book centered around the concept of finding body, mind, and soul healing in the plant based vegan lifestyle. Because it’s about so much more than just food, it’s about compassion and finding self-love.

I’ll keep you updated about when my book is going to be released exactly, but for now I hope that I can inspire others who are/ were in a similar position to me that the recovery YOU want is possible for you. If you truly want to recovery, you are going to find a way. Don’t let others tell you that you can’t.

Much love and a happy new year🤍

L

Trigger warning: this post contains pictures that might be triggering. The reason I decided to post this anyway is to encourage others to seek help now, because I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through what I went through. You’re worthy of recovery now🤍

As 2023 is (finally!) coming to an end, I think it’s important to reflect on everything that has happened over the course of the year to remind ourselves of everything we’ve accomplished, but also to see where we might have gone wrong and what we can do to differently moving forward, putting us in a position of growth rather than defeat.

This year I met the most broken version of me, but I also met the strongest version of me. From having to spend the majority of this year in hospital and inpatient treatment, being vein fed, having people watch me 24/7, to loosing the right to make decisions over my own body and health, and feeling so much mental, emotional, and physical pain I thought I’d drown beneath it all… this year was… a lot.

I don’t believe in „what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger“. If that saying were true, I’d managed to turn the page when I almost died at the start of the year. The reason why I got stronger is because after losing everything that meant something to me I did decide to fight. With every bite I took, every gram I gained, every conversation I forced myself to have- with myself and with others.

Every New Year’s I make a list of things I want to accomplish within the next year. The past three years recovery has been at the top of my list. This year, I finally get to tick that goal off my list. I never thought it would look this way, but I did get there in the end. And that’s something I really am proud of❤️

I hope that my words inspire you to walk your own path to that little more love. No matter how long it takes, I promise that as long as you keep going you’ll get there eventually.

Love,
L