Awaken with Intent

My current offerings.

All are offered virtually AND in-person except for the Energy healings. They are in-person only 🧿🙏🏽✨💚
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🍁Virtual Workshop Dec 10 1-3pm EST🍁
Live Q&A Dec 2 @ 6pm EST

It is not an easy thing to witness. Over the years we have developed patterns and neural pathways that tell us to observe, “to watch carefully especially with attention to details or behavior for the purpose of arriving at a judgment.” This keeps us safe. We go into old coping mechanisms to manage the difficult feelings, sensations, and expressions. To numb them or suppress them. To ignore them so we can keep moving forward.

Sometimes, when we sit in the role of witness, we experience uncomfortable emotions and sensations. Our minds want to protect us from that discomfort, so they quickly move into problem solving mode.

While this pattern can shift us out of the discomfort, it also represses, invalidates, and abandons the feelings and the sensations. It abandons the part of ourselves screaming for our attention. That’s what pain and discomfort is. Something wanting our attention.

So, what would it be like to witness these things as they arise. Witnessing is not easy. We must develop safety, ensuring our systems know that we are supported and have the capacity to feel and be with the more uncomfortable sensations. We must be in consistent conversation with the part of us that wants to move away from the discomfort.

In this workshop you will learn how to begin developing that sense of safety with yourself. You will learn how to discern between the observer and the witness and the tools and techniques to begin sitting in the role of witness more and more in your relationship with the different aspects of yourself (archetypes, shadows, etc) and with others.
✨Sliding scale available
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I have to say it.

Stop thinking that quieting the mind is the solution, or that there is a quick fix to shifting out of the spirals of the mind.

There isn’t. It’s a practice and you have to dedicate time to doing it EVERY DAY.

We as humans in modern society will never achieve a quiet mind. But what we can do is learn to acknowledge that the thoughts are present and begin to develop a different relationship with them.

We can remember to come into our bodies and find the path to healing the storylines and wounds through the body.

It’s not easy, and it’s not meant to be. But by being in the practice you will experience more space, a higher capacity, and more opportunities for ease.

DM for support in changing your relationship with the spiraling mind 🌀✨💚
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🍁Upcoming Half-day Retreat🍁

and I are excited for this half-day retreat next weekend.

This will be a welcome into the journey towards rest, both individually and as a collective.

Join us for a beautiful combination of Restorative Somatic Yoga and Somatic Therapy in what could be called an extended Restshop.

Past Restshop attendees have shared that this experience is something “I didn’t know I needed”

“a retraining of the body for deep relaxation through supported poses, deep listening, and following your own intuition”

Registration is sliding scale $75-$100 for the afternoon. Check the usual spots to learn more and register
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For this intro workshop I am offering a raffle! Over a $200 value

The workshop will focus on exploring the differences of observation and witnessing and teach you how to be in witness relationship with your body and the different archetypes and storylines that arise.

What you win:
- entry to the class
- two FREE 60 minute virtual sessions with me

How to enter:
- share this post to your story (and tag me)
- Venmo $5 to -abutaleb (counts as one entry. Each $5 counts as another entry)
- comment and tag someone who’d benefit from this workshop

I will be pulling a name on Thursday and send event and scheduling info to you that evening
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Do you know I never used to cry? I used to be so even keel all the time that my family said I was on natural va**um. Was this a trauma response? Yes. And my trauma response was validated over and over by those closest to me that I felt terrible if I let any kind of feeling out in its fullness. I didn't even know what that looked or felt like.

Fast forward a few years and here I am in the consistent practice of letting myself feel and express every sensation that arises. I've been able to develop enough trust with myself and these different parts of me to cry literally dozens (maybe hundreds?) of times a year. Whenever the tears want to come out, I meet them. I witness them. I hold them in reverence as they show me whatever there is to see. In just witnessing them, I let my body know that it can trust me. That I will always honor it and create safe spaces for my emotions to be expressed.

And so, I bring you this workshop, Witnessing the Body. Join me in this exploration of learning to develop a different relationship with the more difficult emotions and sensations that arise, especially in these darker months. To honor them and the wisdom they have for us.

Leave with tools to support you to come back to your body, come back to ease, and tools that help grow your capacity to be present with the feelings that show themselves. If we give ourselves the opportunity, we can release the overwhelm of feeling and get to be in the embodiment of feeling.

With love

✨Witnessing the Body virtual workshop Saturday, October 29th 1-3pm EST✨
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We had such a beautiful group for our first Restshop on Monday. FANTASTIC feedback. Something’s we heard were:

“I immediately felt safety dropping into the space.”

“Even when I’m supposed to be receiving, I’m somehow giving and I felt like I could fully receive in this experience.”

“Grief arose at one point but I let myself be it’s friend instead of pushing it away, and learned so much from that sensation.”

“I came in with so much tension and now feel relaxed and like the knots have unrolled themselves.”

This is why and I do this. A wide range of experiences can happen during a Restshop, and we are both honored to hold you through them. Join us for the next couple of sessions, and if you’re curious about going deeper, we invite you to our Rest & Reclaim retreat. All 🔗 in b1o for three upcoming events:

✨10/17 Restshop from 7-8:30pm
✨11/4 Restshop from 7-8:30
✨11/19 & 11/20 Retreat - a deeper dive into this exploration
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A theme I keep hearing this week is that we don't deserve rest. We feel guilty when we rest or create spaces of ease. All of the storylines arise and try to convince us that we are undeserving, or that we're bad people if we rest, or who are we to rest? We haven't suffered enough.

Those of us who have experienced trauma are typically hypervigilant in certain spaces of our lives, so when we rest our mind, storylines and belief systems all get hyperactivated telling us that this isn't safe. "Don't let your guard down! Not even for a minute." We tend to be in the habit of either pushing this voice away or submitting to it. Both responses create tension or constriction in our bodies.

What if rest didn't look like pushing that voice away or telling it to shut up? What if rest was giving ourselves the space to hear that voice, feel it in our body, notice what happens in our bodies when that voice is present, and just witness it? What if we could just hold that voice in esteem and begin to relate with it from a place of respect?

This is what the Restshop is all about.

Come join and I as we journey towards the exploration of rest and what our bodies know and feel when rest is introduced. Three upcoming events (one today with some spots still open!):

✨10/10 Restshop from 7-8:30pm
✨10/17 Restshop from 7-8:30
✨11/19 & 11/20 Retreat - a deeper dive into this exploration
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Discernment is developed through being in the pendulum swings.

You won’t know what a fear-based decision feels like until you’ve made one (or a couple).

You won’t know what an intuition-based decision feels like until you’ve made one (or a couple).

Can you be embodied in each swing of the pendulum? Can you witness what’s present in the swings? Let your body guide you.

I can help you remember what your body already knows. Booking open
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What are the possibilities available when we rest?

This inquiry has guided and I to hold this weekend retreat space for people in our community.

Our lives have been shaped by capitalist systems and hustle/survivalist culture, leaving little to no room for rest. And once we surrender to the moment of rest, so many other feelings and thoughts can arise that actually keep us from being in this experience.

In this weekend, Lydia and I will be guiding you into rest using restorative somatic yoga and somatic therapy as our platforms for remembering rest and reclaiming the wisdom within our bodies when we do so. You will be nested into a space of rest, and guided into the felt sense experience of your body. The exploration of what is here in these moments of rest is potent. It is in service to ourselves as well as the collective.

Join us for this in-person weekend retreat. Cost is $250 to join us for both days and there is a $300 option to support those who don't have accessibility to the $250 option. Registration is in the usual place. If you are in need of financial support, please reach out and we will work with you to make this happen.

May we come to remember the beauty of rest, together.

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Soma el Deen - A reclamation of the wisdom of these ancient words, a reclamation of our relationship with our bodies.

Language has always been an interest of mine. How words (especially of different languages) have such a wide and expansive meaning. One word could be translated into a paragraph of meaning. In my explorations of words and meanings, I've also spent a good amount of time trying to read between the lines, think of when these words were created, and imagine what they could've meant in their original expression. This journey has taken me to a recreation of my business, one more in alignment with what is true within my heart. One that feels like a wide expression of the truth in this work. And so, Soma el Deen was born.

Soma - directly translated to mean body in english. But the body is more than this. Soma is all of the elements, the senses, the felt sense, the feelings and emotions. Soma is our way of connection to each other, to the earth, to the sacred and the ancient.

Deen - directly translated to mean religion, reclaimed to mean a way of life, surrender as a way of life, devotion to a way of life. THE way.

I'm bringing them together and reading between the lines of the restrictive aspects of organized religion to mean "The divine experience of body as the way of devotion". This means so much more than these two words together. Something I've learned along the way, that continues to be reaffirmed is that our senses, these very physical and human experiences we have on earth, are what connect us to our soul, and to Spirit. As human beings, it is through our senses and our bodies that we connect and remember the medicine and magic that is within us. This new name is an expression of this. Of the devotion and surrender to our senses, to the wisdom of our bodies, to our bodies being our guides to Spirit, to our sacred medicine.

So welcome, welcome to my home, my heart, my practice. A practice of sacred somatics. A practice of the devotion and surrender to our senses, to our connection and closeness to the wisdom of the earth and our bodies.

Keep an eye out for the website relaunch coming with this Aquarius full moon on Thursday.

She said: "what's the difference between being witnessed and being observed?"

I answered: "to be observed is to watched with an intention to figure out, problem solve, see if certain assumptions are validated. to be witnessed is to see my heart."

There's an aspect here that can't be put into words, a felt sense of being observed/witnessed, of observing/witnessing. What do they feel like in the body? How do you know which is which?

Series about this coming soon...

Thank you for this inspiring conversation
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In the quiet of my womb, in the quiet of my womb, in the quiet of my womb...
Here lies the secrets, the stories untold
In the quiet of my womb is the medicine I behold

An unfurling begins, as I look deeper within
Within the quiet of my womb
Within the darkness that looms

There it goes, that palpitating fear
Can we really go here? So concerned with what I can or can't do, the shields come up, walls of protection holding strong, before I can even get to meet you

So it stays quiet in my womb
While it's loud in my head, these patterns of fear
The ancient ones hear
They hear me in my call and are so swift to build a wall, circling around me to keep all that may harm me at bay
And yes, this is the kind of protection I call on, but it is not the protection I need

What I need may not even be defined as protection,
For what I need is love
A love that knows the medicine of the dark and scary
A love that knows pain
That knows all of the hurts we carry

Yes we
Those before and after me

Yes we
The collective and all we carry
That's the love I need

The love that knows the darkness and holds her, witnesses her in the fullness of her expression, her unfurling
That doesn't resist, but rather opens her arms to it all because she knows this darkness
She knows this pain
She knows this kind of love
The love of great mother, of oum El dounya

And so I return to the quiet of my womb
My great teacher
I relinquish and surrender to this divine part of me that is a mirror reflection of oum El dounya

I surrender to the quiet, the darkness, the unfurling, to my new definition of "protection"

I surrender to love
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Thank you to my teachers and guides, thank you to my friends who so beautifully mirror and help inform. Thank you to for planting this seed of the medicine of Scorpio and the strength to meet it head on. Thank you to for the divine motherly love you so graciously bestow. Thank you for seeing me so clearly and guiding me to see and feel it all for myself. Thank you .birth.dallas for being a sister and for capturing me in this moment as I remembered this path with all its twists and turns and knots along the way 🧿✨

I'm finding this to be true as I move through all of the changes, reveals, and unearthing happening both personally and on a collective level.

As more is uncovered, I find the same things that I once found comfort and nourishment in, no longer offer that same sense of support. As more is revealed, I am changed. My anatomy, my DNA, my body and soul's needs, wants and desires all shifting.

And now I must get to know myself all over again. Get to know what foods are nourishing my body and readying my soul. Get to know a new way of walking, a new way to start my mornings.

As more is revealed and more of me changes, I am being urged to stand in my ground of slowness. Holding strong on the other side of this pendulum swing, not allowing myself to get pulled into the velocity of which everything around me seems to be speeding.

As it all gets faster, more chaotic, deeper, and more soul wrenching, I learn to fall into myself, I fall into the Earth, my ancestors, my guides. If I must fall to the ground to rebuild over and over again, let me fall into myself, rather than this fast moving, colonizing, predatory nature around me. I pray that Spirit guides me to fall into the Earth and her wisdom, to fall into the wisdom within me, to fall into the stories and arms of my ancestors.

Thank you to my teachers, my friends and allies. Thank you to those who love me and push me to move closer to myself in each moment. Thank you to my guides for their unwavering faith and powerful messages 🧿🙏🏽💚✨
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It feels like I've been pulled into a tornado, twisting and turning, creating chaos and disturbance everywhere around me.

The tornado keeps spinning... Spinning... Spinning...

I search for ground, doing what I can to dip into my body, root into this space, feel some connection with the earth, but I'm just spinning.

What I'm learning is that this spinning is a part of the earth. It is a part of the natural condition. The thunder clouds churn and turn, speaking to us, sending us messages, receiving the rising heat from the frenetic energy that has been building. The meeting of the cool air and the heat causing a break, a crack, a swirl, this swirling that envelops me.

Caught in this place of the building heat and the cooling air meeting, I find myself spinning. Caught up in the meeting of these energies, there is something to learn here. Messages to be received. An awareness and acknowledgement that the joining of two energies can sometimes be explosive, completely unearthing, turning everything I once knew upside down.

It's not meant to be put back into the place or the position it once was. We're not meant to go back. Once these energies have met, the only option is moving forward. The only way is to build anew, to start fresh.

And so I find myself, sitting in a space that was once so familiar, everything now in disarray.

It is time to find a new way. To toss it all to the side and create and build in service of this new awareness, of this new version of self. Knowing that what is now mine, what is now me, is not what it once was. Relearning, reframing, reclaiming... Over and over and over again 🧿🙏🏽✨💚
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~your hands honor the space between souls~

I believe that our senses are thresholds to the soul and that our hands honor this threshold, and this connection between souls in their innate ability to simultaneously give and receive.

They enter into relationship with another soul, connecting with the soul through a felt sense before they even touch. And this dance within the felt sense is an act of honor of the space between the souls, the space of connection of the souls.

This dance is a beautiful flow of giving and receiving. This dance takes different shapes each time, honoring the needs of each soul in each moment, creating this beautiful pattern of offering for this connection, for all that will be communicated in this touch, in this transfer of information, in this conversation between souls and beings.

Before our hands even touch another being, they are honoring what is to come, honoring what is already here, honoring the dance between souls that happens in felt sense, in the different sensations and wisdom that arises the moment we do bring our hands to touch.

So I invite you to linger in the space between souls. To linger with your hands near but not quite touching the other being, and explore this dance between souls. Honor the space in between with a little more time and attention.

And when you do eventually touch the other, notice if there is a difference in the quality and sensation of touch now that you've given yourself the opportunity to honor this connection 🧿🙏🏽✨💚
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This is my dream ✨

And I pray that I and the collective continue to learn all the ways we can support this dream.

I pray that we may uplift those on the front lines, those actively working to return the land to the original stewards

I pray that we may see our purpose, our roles, and our responsibilities to be in humble service of the wise ones, the ancient ones, the leaders, the teachers and the Earth Mother.

Everyday I pray 🙏🏽✨💚
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The past week has been hard.

I've been working with a lot of grief, swimming in the shadows. The loss of a dear cousin so suddenly, so shockingly. What was meant to be an initiation into motherhood, became a transition out of her body.

And another family scare, one we're still managing, all within 24 hours of each other.

Suddenly we're off. Planning, doing, everything we can to not be with the grief. But the grief still comes. The grief does not wait for the perfect moment, it does not wait for silence, it does not wait for you to be alone, it does not wait for anything.

A strong current of emotion, pulling you in, so far, so deep. This is grief.

As I've stayed with grief, felt my heart breaking, fallen to the floor as the waves crash over me, I've learned so much about the emotion and the way it cradles me in the waves of feeling.

As I've surrendered to the grief, I've also surrendered to my needs.

As I've surrendered to my needs, I've been able to show up for others, embodied, not losing my sense of self.

And through it, somehow a silver lining appears. A motivation, a sliver of energy left to act, to hold, to be sturdy and strong enough in my grief to support the whole, the collective.

I owe it all to the grief. I owe this transition from unhealed caretaker, taking care so that I may feel care, to caregiver. Offering tenderness and care to myself, to the vulnerability, and allowing that to be my ground as I care for others 🙏🏽✨💚🧿
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Learning to honor truth

To walk each day actively working to rescue the truth

Rescue the truth from old patterns, from comfort, from masks, from colon!zat!on, from oppression.

I am beginning to see that this shedding, these growth cycles I go through are readjustments, upheavals, sometimes even subtle shifts towards honoring the truth.

With snake medicine guiding me, I step over the threshold, shed my skin, reveal the truth, and walk with the sweet touch of the Earth around me. With fresh skin and eyes my senses are heightened. I can better communicate with the soul, with the Earth. Feeling every one of her vibrations. Letting them move through me. Letting them teach me. Letting them move me. Showing me the wisdom of these truths. Teaching me to discern the steps towards reveal.

All in time, she says.

- Honoring the process of reveal, rescue, and truth 🐍✨🙏🏽🧿

Artwork by
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My solar plexus says "yes, open, move into this space, this power, this confidence"

While the stretching sensation of the opening says "I don't know if we can do this, if we're ready"

So I hold them both. I tenderly place a hand on the area feeling the stretch of the fear. I place the other hand high above my head, bringing more space and opening to the area that wants me to move into it.

I hold them both. I continue to hold them both, because this is the dance I have chosen in this life.
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We don't have to choose one sensation over another. We can always tend to the needs of all of the sensations and find a way to honor them in each of their individual needs.

This is working with the body.

This is learning to awaken to the language of the body.

This is Awakened Body 🧿🙏🏽✨💚🌊
(complimentary consults in bio)
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Why is it that we need visual evidence of something in order to motivate change?

How disconnected are we from community, from inter-dependent living, from our bodies, from Spirit and our intuition that we need visual evidence, and repeated evidence/confirmation in order to convince us of something?

It's just further proof of our collective involvement in the oppressive systems that want to pull us farther and farther away from ourselves and our power so that they can control us.

This is evidence. This is information. This is a call to remember and reclaim the ways of our ancestors. These are constant reminders to come back to our bodies, to remember and fortify our relationship with our inner guidance, our sacred knowing, the magic within.

Be angry, be enraged, and don't forget that we participate in these systems every day. Allow your strong emotions to guide you within, holding yourself and your emotions in compassion and curiosity. And then decide on the actions you need to take to return to your inner guidance and fortify your sacred knowing. The actions needed to rebel against these systems we participate in with cause, with intention.

This is what we're being called to do. Don't take this information lightly. Don't just blame it on everything and everyone else around you. Realize that there is more to these moments and let's begin to walk this path together 🧿🙏🏽✨💚
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A personal update:

In recent months I've been in the shadow realms of my superhero ability to be alone. It has been made abundantly clear that one of my lessons in this life is to learn how to be my authentic self and tend to my needs while also being in intimate relationships with others.

While I LOVE my "alone" time (although I'm never alone, always surrounded by my ancestors, guides, and the wise more than human kin) and benefit so much from the time I have to explore the depths within, I am becoming intimately familiar with the shadow side of this power.

The shadow looks like sometimes losing my sense of self with others around,
feeling overwhelmed by setting boundaries with loved ones,
feeling like a burden if I ask anyone for support,
having an incredibly difficult time receiving,
sometimes taking on others' feelings and actions as my own responsibility,
feeling like what I need is too much, constantly questioning and pushing myself to second guess my needs
feeling like my boundaries are somehow going to result in the other being disappointed in me
feeling like the only way I can actually be myself or tend to myself is when I'm alone

Through this process of becoming intimate with this part of me, I've met this wild rebellious adult woman within me. I feel her in my spine, standing tall and speaking up, almost shouting for what she needs, what I need. I've learned to love her and trust her wisdom.

I know this is just the beginning of this journey, but with this woman standing strong within me, I trust that I will be guided to finding the dance on the line of where I need my time and space, and where I need relationship and support. I can already see that that dance requires trust and vulnerability.

What are some shadows you're beginning to become more intimate with?
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Text reads: The depth that you search for, long for, is already here. It lies within the subtle.

It's the subtle shifts, feelings and awareness that hold vast information and deep wisdom.

All we must do is be, and take it all in with humility, gratitude, and reverence for that which is unknown, unseen, unexplainable.

Tell me the depths that have so graciously revealed themselves in the subtle things around you 🧿🙏🏽✨💚
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