Food Addiction and Binge Eating Support Group

A lot of the time it helps to be listened to. Today was a really difficult day mentally. But even so, I did not binge. I use this page to be raw and real and help people know that they are not alone. Things may get dark. Things may get depressing. That's the nature of the beast called addiction. But other times things may be uplifting and beautiful. But just know that you are never alone. This struggle to recovery is so difficult. Just know that this page is always a safe haven.

When pretty much everybody in your life is mad at you, It's so hard not to binge. It just seems like everybody in my life this week sees me as a burden. Everybody in my life has something incredibly negative to say about me. For some reason, I just can't seem to do anything right as of late no matter how hard I try. My husband is mad, My mother in law pretty much hates me, My best friend is disappointed in me, My daughter refuses to listen to me, My mom and dad still see me as a failure and a disappointment, I had to get rid of my beloved pet because others thought I loved him more than my family, which wasn't the case. I make my daughter these big wonderful things, I craft them and buy all the things I need to make it, and I'd put a lot of time into it and she does nothing but destroy it. My pet did not destroy the things that I made for him. That's why I put so much stock into him. For once in my life I felt appreciated. But whatever, f**k me I guess. What I want doesn't matter. .. I'm not gonna go into details, but i'm pretty much just living my life and it's upsetting people. So here I am trying not to shove an entire cake into my mouth. I'm struggling to do any kind of chores because my emotional welfare is so depleted. I really have no other comforts than food and it's wearing on my mental health. Sometimes I really just wish I wasn't here. I don't want to live but I also don't want to die only because it would hurt others if I unalived myself. At this point i'm literally only living for the sake of others. I feel like a complete burden to everybody else. And I can't even reach out for my comfort because that hurts me too. I feel like the most worthless person ever. I need to binge and I can't. I really just need comfort and i'm not getting it. Whatever I guess I'll just go drink some water or whatever.

It just occurred to me that Thanksgiving is coming up. I am worried about what people will think about me given my weight. I'm honestly considering not even going. But I know that's not healthy either. I can't just hide. I can't run from this. I have a life to live and I have a daughter to keep going for. Life goes on. Going into recovery is so difficult because I am having to do it by myself. I've downloaded multiple apps that definitely seem to be promising. We will see how things pan out in a few days. Today wasn't exactly so great for me either. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't great. There are ice cream sandwiches in the fridge that I can't stop thinking about. How am I ever going to get past this? It seems so much bigger than me. Time will only tell.

This battle is definitely a hard one. It feels like you're going up hill be entire time. Emotions hit like a truck, stress takes over and you just want an entire pizza to yourself. You would love some donuts. Ice cream sounds great but not just one. Yesterday I failed so greatly. I ate four ice cream sandwiches. And then I had burger king, and that wasn't even everything I had all day. But it wasn't just yesterday that I failed. It was the day before that and the day before that, and the day before that and the day before that. I told myself that I would be counting calories and I was doing great... Until I had a cheat day. I have gained 20 pounds. I told my friends and my family that I would be doing this great thing by counting calories and staying in my deficit. I even made a calendar to keep track that had inspirational quotes on it. I was doing great until I had a cheat day. I was doing great until I started getting incredibly and consistently bullied at work by my boss. I was doing great until parenthood got really hard and the word "no" isn't heard until I scream, then I'm the bad guy and mom guilt kicks you in the face. I was doing great until I got awful news about my friends and families declining health. I was doing great until my husband who is at a perfectly healthy weight and I made love and all I could think about was how bulbous and blobby I felt the entire time, so now I just want to hide away forever and my self confidence is destroyed, even though he isn't remotely bothered by any of it, but that's not the point because the thought of anybody seeing you like that is the worst. I was doing great until all of these things happened in my life and I lost control. It's like life intentionally went out of its way to say, "ha ha, you suck, screw you". I feel like I took two steps forward and I was thrown back ten. People only want to focus on anorexia and bulimia and all of these other issues, and these people are given so much sympathy. But God forbid you have a binge eating disorder, because at that point you're just fat and lazy and gross. At that point, you are the absolute scum of society and you should are a waste. What really bothers me is you have these gorgeous women who are really awful on the inside, but they are praised just because they are skinny. But you take a fat woman who has a heart of gold, and it doesn't matter because she's fat, so she's ridiculed. That's my vent for today. I hope whoever joins this page finds some sort of help and knowing that they are not alone. I hope you find solace knowing that it's ok it's okay to fail. It's ok to be thrown off the wagon. It's okay. Repeat that. It's okay. You are so much more than this addiction. You are so much more than this disorder. You are so much more than how disgusting you feel when you look in the mirror and you just really want cry because this isn't how you used to look. It's okay. You are not alone. We will get through this together, and you are loved.

Welcome to the group and thank you for joining! This is a safe place and a non judgmental environment where you can grow to better yourself gently, seek accountability, vent, give and receive support and make friends who understand you. Food addiction and binge eating are one of the hardest things to overcome as we need food to survive. It's always around us and there's no escape. I have dealt with food addiction and binge eating for fifteen years. I am just now in recovery. I thought it would be beneficial to make a page where we could all better ourselves, overcome addiction and grow in a gentle environment. I hope you enjoy your time here.