ADOLF LIFE Marriage Builder

WHEN YOUR PARTNER ACCUSES YOU OF
INFIDELITY

Accusations of infidelity between spouses are more
common that you’d think. This is because it is very
easy for spouses to mistake fizzling romance, lack of
attention from their spouses and other marital
problems for signs of infidelity.
Sadly, false accusations of infidelity made in anger or
jest have ended many marriages. It is very difficult to
stay in a marriage where there is no trust and you’re
constantly trying to prove that you are faithful. To
stop accusations of infidelity from ruining your
marriage, you need to understand the reasons
behind the accusations.
Why Your Spouse Thinks You Are Cheating
Most accusations of cheating stem from two things:
Insecurity and projection.
Fear and insecurity based on past experiences is one
of the main reasons why people accuse their spouses
of cheating. If someone has cheated in the past, it is
understandable that their spouse might be
hypersensitive to any behavior that even remotely
resembles a sign of cheating. Also, if someone has
been cheated on in a past relationship, they might be
extremely wary and constantly on the lookout for
signs of infidelity.
Projection is another main reason why people accuse
their spouses of infidelity. When someone is
cheating, their guilty conscience makes them
paranoid leading them to assume that their partner
is doing the same. However, you should not be quick
to assume that your spouse is projecting unless you
have enough proof. Otherwise, your accusations
would be just as bad as theirs.
Dealing with the Accusations
The best way to deal with accusations of infidelity is
not to become defensive and start trying to prove
that you’re not guilty. Wait until your spouse has
calmed down and then talk to them and ask them
what made them believe that you are being
unfaithful.
This conversation should not be about putting your
spouse on the spot and asking them to explain their
accusations. It should be more of an examination of
your marriage/ married life to identify any weak
points or marital problems that may be causing your
spouse to feel insecure.
Also, refrain from demanding an apology from your
spouse during the conversation. It might make your
spouse defensive and less willing to discuss the
thinking behind the accusations.

EMOTIONAL vs. PHYSICAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE:
Which is One More
Important?
Many people do not realize that there are two distinct
forms of intimacy in marriage: emotional and
physical
intimacy. And those who realize it wonder whether
one
form of intimacy is more important than the other.
Emotional Intimacy
Spouses crave an emotional bond with each other.
They
want to be loved and accepted for themselves and to
share
a sense of closeness, trust and comfort with each
other.
Emotional intimacy can exist without physical
affection. In
fact, communication in marriage is much more
important
when it comes to cultivating that sense of “deep
sharing”
and trust than physical affection.
Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is not all about sexual intimacy. It
also
includes simple things such as a kiss on the cheek, a
hug
and hand holding.
Physical intimacy requires a certain degree of trust
and
vulnerability. It is impossible to be physically intimate
without bringing down our walls and letting our
spouses
into our personal spaces.
Which One is More Important?
First things first, physical intimacy cannot be used to
fill the
void of emotional intimacy or vice versa. Also, it is
not so
much that one is more important than the other but
that
different people require different levels of physical
and
emotional intimacy in marriage. It is therefore up to
the
couple to find an optimal mix that is satisfying for
both
spouses.
For most people, emotional intimacy is a pre-
requisite for
physical intimacy. It is hard to be physically intimate
with
your spouse when you do not feel a sense of security
and
acceptance with them.
There’s also a direct link between thoughts, feelings
and
behaviors. When people feel unaccepted and
unloved, they
refrain from being physically affectionate. This
creates
distance in the happy marriage and makes the
marriage
vulnerable to resentment and infidelity.
However, the bottom line is that couples should
strive to
find an optimal mix of emotional and physical
intimacy in
marriage. The question of “which one is more
important”
comes down to the spouses’ individual needs.