Francine Forde // Energy Worker // Facilitator

And some day self care looks like this ✨
An exhibition that will stay with me, probably my favourite ever (and that’s saying something as I see many)
This one was so beautiful I had to go one more time before it closed. It was a privilege to see it again with my daughter by my side
The things that make you feel calm and happy…seek them out and do them often
Whatever you’re drawn to, find more of it. It’s good for the soul. Fx

I took the scenic route home from clinic this afternoon to take in the end of summer blooms 🌺
Always grateful to the people who trust me with their energy
Always love London for showing off on hot summer afternoons. Fx

Note to self….

Caught a glimpse of myself today
Not something I often do
My brain is always so preoccupied and busy, focused elsewhere. Always
But today, I saw me. It’s been a while
It was an odd moment but a good one. I don’t intentionally avoid mirrors, I just don’t often see….
Felt I had to capture it. Fx

A little bit of joy to wake up to. Muddy beetroot and my veg for the week✨
I find our bodies to be endlessly fascinating
These vessels that carry us through
The creations we constantly ignore in our youth. Ignore until we can ignore no more
Fascinating in ways we will never fully understand
The inner workings and wisdoms, the secrets they hold, the capabilities to heal and restore. Much of it taken for granted for many of us
As someone who’s always lived with pain (thank you Hypermobility) I’ve always managed to push through. As someone who’s developed post exertion malaise and fibromyalgia (thank you osteoarthritis, virus, and trauma) it’s not as easy to ignore these days
Yesterday I ate like I was 20 again, today everything screams
Today, I’m very grateful for my muddy beetroot and a body that wants to heal. As I tell my clients, do what you can and your body will listen. Big or small, just do what you can
And before any keyboard warriors start shouting how this veg box comes from a place of privilege…I am aware. I’m also in a stage of life where it is just me in the house and I make sacrifices elsewhere to eat well. It’s part of my healing journey and one that I’m trying desperately hard to win
I’m doing what I can. Fx

The perfect photo to sum up my day✨
For anyone who cares and supports loved ones who are vulnerable
The people fighting to get answers and the help we should all be entitled to
For all those mamas (and papas) caring for kids (young and adult) whose conditions are not recognised under the UK medical system (even when diagnosed in the UK) who have to re-tell your story to every new professional you speak to
I feel your frustration (and pain)
Another week of calls and emails, chasing, going around in circles
Our social care system is beyond broken, and it is breaking families (and hearts) every day
If this resonates, I’m sorry. I know how infuriating and impossible it seems
Sending you love and a wish for you to find some peace in your day. Find the moments, make space just for you
We go again next week. Fx

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”
- Henri Matisse

Here. Now✨
To still be in bed at 11am is unheard of
But he stretched and rested his head on my foot, so I stayed
This little guy is slowing down
We’re not sure of what’s ahead, so we are taking these moments
Everything else can wait today. Fx

Today’s self care looks like this
Tiny toe beans on the sofa while binging
Might just order a pizza and call it a day. Fx

An afternoon of baking and thinking/thinking and baking. This is where I do some of my best work
A client asked me this week how to move through the anger they are feeling stuck in, how to find hope again. How to stop these feelings taking over
My answer shocked them as I don’t believe anger is something to be feared. I believe we need to sit in it, feel it deeply, identify where it settles in the body, and speak to it. It’s a slow process (in a world that expects fast answers) but a necessary one
One of the biggest causes of illness and unease (in my opinion) is suppressed trauma and anger. I can feel it in people’s bodies, vibrating and wreaking havoc in the nervous system
To truly make peace with anger you need to understand it is just another emotion. You also need to turn down the volume on the wellness brigade who sell ideas about everything being light and buoyant and understand that sometimes life will be heavy and rage inducing
And that’s okay
I asked my client to spend the Summer listening to what their body was trying to tell them. What are the triggers and pain points, where are they holding on to feelings that they regularly suppress
By paying attention, listening (instead of hiding), and letting emotions surface we can start to heal. We are so often told to hold it all in, don’t cry, don’t show emotion
Bo****ks to that! When has that approach ever worked?
Instead, give it your attention. Find small moments that make you feel calm (baking and walking the dog in the rain are my moments) and revisit often. Nothing forced or prolonged. It should not feel like a chore and can be absolutely anything anywhere
Listen to the little whispers that pop in. If feelings become too big then speak about them, tell someone. Reach out. The first step is understanding that they matter and are all valid
In a world where we have become so desensitised, busy, and disconnected, we need to find these spaces to do the work….and exhale. This is where the healing begins. Fx

Finally ✨

7 years….
What a wild ride it’s been!
Once a dream (one that I held close to my heart for nearly 20 years)
Then a reality
Up until this point I’d never really found my stride. Ex model, ex agent, ex student, ex silversmith, ex, ex, ex….
But here I am, taking a moment to fully appreciate that dreams do come true
I’ve been quiet this past year for personal reasons but ready to step back in. Ready to live the dream and fully embrace everything that comes with it
Lean in, feel it all. Happy happy anniversary to me! Fx

The space between rainy dog walks and client home visits✨

Pyjamas, face mask, and wine…all before 6pm
Kinda tells you everything about the week I’m having
Not terrible, but very loooong. Very, very, long. And exhausting
Sometimes you just need to slump, enjoy a glass of something (had to search the back of the cupboard for Christmas leftovers!) and call it a day
The nervous system wants what it wants. Who am I to argue?? Fx

Grateful for the Zoom gods that kept me connected today when my infuriating cough stopped me attending in person
Even more grateful for the wisdom of and and the ease in which they shared and inspired us all
Love, love, LOVE my craniosacral community and the beauty of the work we do. Excited to be learning and growing with some of the best out there
I’ve seen first hand, with my own children, how CST can support neurodivergent families. It’s why I decided to become a therapist myself. I knew from the moment my son finally slept through the night for the very first time (he was nearly 5) that I wanted to be able to share this modality with others. The profound changes in my kids were life changing for us all
Super excited to take this work further and support as many people as I can. It’s been a very good day. Fx

And breathe…
Early morning doctor appointments to discuss chronic fatigue and autism. Not sure which is making things worse but it’s not the most fun I’ve had in my 54 years on Earth
Asked far too many questions that I genuinely cannot answer (because I’m exhausted) and given too many options to comment on (so I’ll spend the afternoon doing research)
Instead of heading home to hide (my default) I’ve passed by the library for a new book and will sit here…and just be
Reading is always a struggle as I forget what happened on the page before, but I’m determined to improve this skill. So, for now, I’ll sit and try. And that’s enough
My nervous system is leading the way and craving rest but not isolation. It’s a skill that takes some work, but reading the signs and letting my body really feel what it needs is so important. Especially difficult if you are neurodivergent but I’m getting better at it! It’s so easy for me to understand this for my clients but not always easy to apply it to myself…
Wishing you all a happy Saturday. Fx

Dosing up on this before heading to my annual b**b squeeze (breast clinic…not date 😂)
After a morning of life admin and biz planning (good things are coming)
And trying to figure out how to get a urine sample from the dog…(send help)
How’s your day going?? Fx
**bs

Some weekends are for city treks and and adventures
Others are for sofa days and the biggest pot of chilli I could muster
Not sure which I prefer? Fx

Sometimes you just have to admit defeat and hit the sofa
Last week appears to have broken me (workplace stress is no flipping joke when you work in safeguarding)
I should be on my way to a much looked forward to event to hear Shaun King and Khaled Beydoun speak, but the body says no
So here I am being looked after by this donut (don’t be fooled, he’s only here to remind me that it’s dinner time)
It’s important to listen to the messages your nervous system whispers to you. Ignore them and it will start shouting. I know my limitations. And yes….it sucks. Fx

Words by the always wonderful ✨

The title says it all….
Just because there appears to be an increase in diagnoses does not mean everyone is jumping on the bandwagon. It’s because people are finally realising how they have been medically gas-lit for years! ADHD is still under diagnosed here in the UK resulting in many adults struggling through life unsupported
I was 51 when I got the diagnosis that I have ADHD (combined type). A battle of wills within my brain…constantly messing with daily life
Since revealing my diagnosis to people I’ve been laughed at, accused of making it up, advised numerous times to just be better organised, reprimanded by colleagues and people I barely know for being just another woman trying to get attention. I’ve received unhelpful advice on how to improve my symptoms, and told that I should stop making excuses for my life’s little quirks and deficits
And if I hear “we’re all a little bit ADHD” one more time I’ll scream!
We’re not all a little bit ADHD. It doesn’t feel like a superpower, and it’s not something we can just wish away. It’s also not an excuse for our daily struggles but a reason for why we struggle in the first place. It impacts every facet of life from education, to relationships, to finances and health
When I express that I’m overwhelmed I am not giving my power away (another of the favourite things people in the wellness community often say to me)
By the time I reach overwhelm I’ve experienced extreme emotional distress, physical pains, full on burn out, as well as enough inner critic dialogue and self loathing to fill a football stadium. But guess what? You probably wouldn’t notice because I’m a master masker due to learning at a young age that showing up as myself is unsafe and unwise
I’m angry that a book like this needs to be written but so, so grateful to for taking the task on
The ADHD community deserves better
Seriously, it is not a bloody trend. Fx

Woke up with all the energy this morning✨
And this guy is the lucky recipient
Some days I just need to tune in with hands on. It courses through me and can’t be contained
I love my human clients but there is something magical about the four legged connections
No words…just touch. No questions…just trust
Lucky for me, he’s always here for these magical moments. Fx

Things are starting to look bright✨
The days are a little bit longer
The after work dog walks are no longer in the dark
There’s a subtle shift in the energy. Can you feel it? Fx

This life✨
A little older (hopefully wiser)
A lot more knowledgeable about how to navigate the constant ebb and flow of life
Proud that the trauma and sadness of the year just passed has given me a perspective and a whole new skill set that I can better serve others with, when it could have destroyed my trust. The lessons have been in abundance
Hopeful for the days, months, years ahead
I’m choosing to reclaim who I was/am. I’m planning to say no a lot
Today I’m taking myself to the theatre…a promise I’ve made to reconnect with the things I love most. The things that make me feel…and make my nervous system sing
I’m leaning into my heart and have put myself firmly back to the top of the list. No resolutions, just a promise that 2024 will be more focused on me and my needs (no matter what life dishes up)
Grateful to live in a city with wonderful opportunities. Even more grateful to be loved by so many who will join me for the ride
I’m curious to know how you will reconnect with yourself in the days/minths ahead? How will you make you a priority?
Life isn’t always easy but it can still be beautiful. Let’s make the most of it. Fx

Mind the gap…
I lost touch with a friend which def left a gap. No reason in particular (other than life and a major pandemic screwing with our lives)
But here I stand waiting for my train home. Gap filled
Hours of laughing and shrieking (her rather fab life is truly hysterical), heart full
Some days you have to just reach out. Even when you feel embarrassed about the lack of reaching out which only further stops you from reaching out….
Just do it. Invite those people back in. My circle has always been small and I see some of my dearest friends only a few times a year, but this was the one that bothered me endlessly
One hug and it felt like we’d never parted
Just do it, reach out to those you’re missing. Life is short…and it feels good. Fx

One thing 2023 has taught me is that the path is anything but clear…we have so little control over our daily lives. There has been a collective shift in energy and the heaviness has often been palpable
Some years draw to a close without a photo gallery of fabulous highlights
Some years there are no amazing vacation memories
Some years there are few moments to reflect on or remember fondly
Some years are more about stillness than milestones, uncertainty and a lack of direction
Some years feel heavy and grief filled
A client said to me recently “some years are just about treading water and staying afloat, and the exhaustion that fills your bones in the process”
But those years still have moments….little glimmers of light. And while we can’t always change the direction of how things around us unfold, we can change the energy we bring to what we are experiencing. We can give ourself grace and soften into the uncertainty. We can trust
If you’re leaving this year with a weariness and a heavy heart, look for those little glimmers. The small daily rays of light that shine through. I promise they are there, sometimes in the least expected places
If you’ve not got a collection of favourite moments and feel that you’ve only just about scraped through, well done for keeping your head above the waves. I know how difficult it can be
Please remember that while the next few days will be awash with happy reels and stories of epic achievements I can 100% say that not all is as it appears (I’ve worked with enough celebs and influencers to tell you it’s just not so). Step back, tune out if you have to, and don’t compare you to them
These are uncertain times but keep trusting and don’t lose hope (yes, I know it can feel impossible)…and always look for the light. Fx

I’m always in awe of the body’s innate ability to heal. It’s why I do the work I do
Two weeks to the day (post-op) and we’re back in our happy place
Yes, I’ve had to rest and sleep a lot, eat a tonne, and sleep some more
But here we are
Air in my lungs, wind on my face, mud on (and in) the old boots. Wonderful. I’ve missed this more than anything and am sure to feel more energised and settled in myself now that I’m strong enough to squelch around the common again
Nature really is the best medicine of all. I love that London living comes with a healthy dose of trees and mud. You just need to find your favourite spots and take it all in. Fx

Post-op recovery day #364953…..
I’m really not good with inactivity, my ADHD brain is starting to melt and my unmedicated (yes, we’re still in a meds shortage here in the UK) body woke me up fidgeting 3 times overnight. Night fidgets are a thing
There’s a lot going on in my mind this morning. All the feels. And oddly, a lot of clarity
Spending the past 12 days (and last 15 months) in a state of limbo and edginess I feel somehow different today. Recovery in full force
After seeing both my kids more settled and well this holiday season I feel I’m able to step back from the hyper vigilant, ready for action, mom mode I’ve been in….and dare I say….start making plans
For anyone who’s experienced/experiencing anticipatory grief while trying to hold their own s**t together, I feel you. If you are also navigating your own neurodivergence conundrums while holding space for others, I see you. It’s a lot. Your nervous system will be weary
Stepping back into you mode can feel daunting. A sense of disbelief lingers. Take it. Take it all. Savour the moments of clarity and run like the wind with them. Remember who you are
Feel the joy in your heart for getting through and make those plans. Set your goals, start small, tick them off one by one.
Life is beautiful but she’s a cow sometimes, and stepping back is sometimes needed. It’s what you do after that matters. Don’t get lost in the inactivity of the heaviness. You deserve more than that. Fx

Grateful for all I’m waking up to, conflicted by it also. These words….
It No Longer Matters If Anyone Loves Us
By Samer Abu Hawwash
Translated by Huda Fakhreddine
It no longer matters
if anyone loves us.
The love of the great angel
in his bright white sky
is enough.
Our children see him standing in the distance,
holding his hands in the shape of a heart
and they smile.
Our women see him waving a sprig of white jasmine
and close their eyes once
and forever.
Our men see his blue wings
as clear as a sky.
Their hearts are seized,
and they set out toward him.
 It no longer matters
if anyone loves us.
Bombs have liberated us from our ears,
with which we used to hear words of love.
Rockets have liberated us from our eyes,
with which we used to see loving glances.
Hate-filled words have liberated us from our hearts,
in which we used to cherish the enchantments of love.
 It no longer matters
if anyone, in this world, loves us.
“It seems to have been an unreciprocated love, anyway,”
say our elders, now exhausted by the idea of land.
Our poet stands on the distant horizon and proclaims:
“Save us from your cruel love!”
He then whispers, apologizing for an earlier, childish optimism:
“On this Earth,
nothing deserves life.”
 It no longer matters
if anyone loves us.
We are tired of words, the said and the unsaid,
tired of hands that reach out but do not touch,
of eyes that see but do not see.
We are tired of ourselves in this endless night,
and tired of our mothers clinging to what’s left of us,
tired of this rock we carry on our backs,
this eternal curse.
From abyss to abyss, we carry it,
from death to death,
and we never arrive.
 It no longer matters, after this, if anyone loves us,
or if anyone walks in our funerals.
Here we go in silence, toward the final abyss.
We hold each other’s hands,
go forth alone in this desert of a world.
At some moment, one of us, a child, will look back,
will cast one last glance at the ruins, and
shedding a single tear, will say:
“It no longer matters that anyone love us.”

Public Service Announcement ❤️
It’s okay to need (and take) space
It’s okay to set boundaries around what you will and will not discuss around the dinner table
It’s okay to remove yourself from rooms that are triggering or just plain pi***ng you off
It’s okay to leave early….or not arrive at all
It’s okay to just say NO. Not always easy….but okay
You are not selfish for protecting your heart and your energy. You are not selfish for removing yourself from spaces that feel icky. You are not selfish for choosing to put your emotional and mental wellbeing right at the top of your to-do list
Be bold. Be brave.
If those around you don’t like it, it’s says more about them than you. Don’t forget it. Fx