Choose OATS

Choose OATS

Helping others overcome anxiety by providing trauma support.

16/01/2024

Love is probably one of the most wonderful things that a person can feel and experience in their life.

The Bible says that love conquers all. But it doesn’t refer to the romantic sense of love.

1 Corinthians 13 says that “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

More widely known perhaps in 1 Corinthians “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” and this nugget “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

So what is love? The love referred to in this chapter is the Greek word agape - an unconditional, selfless love - and is the highest form of love used in the Bible.

We use just the one word for love. We love our pets. We love ice cream. We love our kids. We love our truck. Our job. Our spouse. Our parents. We love fishing, concerts, working out.

We use the same word for all of these, even though they have different degrees of meanings. I’m not going to love my kids the same way I love my pet or my job or my truck.

But the word remains the same.

So if love conquers all, then why do marriages fail - why do families break up and friendships fall apart? I think it’s because people forget how to love and they throw conditions on it.

I’ll love you if. I’ll stay if. We’ll be friends if.

Or - I love you but. I’ll stay but. We’ll be friends but.

Being on the receiving end of that conditional side - especially in a relationship - is never a good feeling and is difficult to endure and just maybe if those conditions weren’t placed - maybe if it was “I know this is going on and we’re stressed and frustrated and tired and we’ve made mistakes but I love you and I choose you and we’ll get through this together no matter what” then maybe things would turn around in relationships and there wouldn’t be as many divorces.

Or maybe kids would know that their parents truly love them and believe in them even though they messed up and made mistakes.

Or maybe friends would know that they’re cared for and valued and appreciated for who they are.

And maybe the people who are broken, lost, depressed, the ones who beat themselves up, who say they’re not good enough - maybe they’ll start to love themselves too and realize that they deserve to be loved by others in turn.

I believe that love conquers all - as long as it is I love you period and not I love you but or I’ll love you if.

It has to be unconditional. Selfless. Agape.

And if you love someone, let them know. Spouse. Kids. Family. Friends. Life’s too short to not let others know that you care about them.

Don’t be afraid to make it weird.

TikTok · chooseoats 22/07/2023

TikTok · chooseoats Check out chooseoats's post.

06/05/2023

, , and .

Even on the darkest of days there can still be joy, happiness, love, kindness, respect, compassion, and beauty.

I wish these blessings for you, my friend.

24/04/2023

Love, live, and let go.

Love with all your heart and soul - to the best of your ability, even if it’s not deserved.

Live with a purpose and for a purpose - strive to live life abundantly, even if it’s hard.

Let go of what you can’t control and what doesn’t help you grow, even if it’s scary.

Choose your destiny.

10/04/2023

Trigger warning!!!

There were 1.2 million attempts in 2020 in the US alone. It’s estimated that 12.2 million Americans have thought about it that year as well. Statistics also say that both of these are underreported because su***des can look like accidents, and people who are suicidal don’t always talk about it.

I was one of them.

Su***de was the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-14 and 25-34. It was the third leading cause of death for ages 15-24, right below homicide. And the 4th cause of death for 35-44 year olds.

Hurt people hurt people.
Healed people heal people.

But people seldom talk about the in between.

I’ve been in that state for the last 4 months.

The in between.

Married to divorced.

Homeowner to basically homeless, with the exception of AirBnb and motels.

Seeing your kids every day and being a full time parent to just seeing them 8-12 times a month.

Hopeful to hopeless.
Joy to despair.
Love to loss.
Sure to unsure.

Wholeness to brokenness.

I’m in the in between.

Between divorced to being hopeful that God has someone for me.

Homeless to a homebuyer within the next month or so - hopefully.

Limited time with the kids to limitless in what we do or how we spend the time we have.

Hopeless to hopeful.
Despair to happiness.
Loss to fulfillment.
Unsure to unstoppable.

Brokenness to restoration.

Negative, self-defeating thoughts to those of a life worth living. For my own happiness, experiences, possibilities, and future.

Hurt to healed.

And if I can make it, so can you.

With that, I encourage you to listen to Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day. The lyrics are below.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They've lost all of their faith in love
And they've done all they can to make it right again, still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
And for the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Oh, cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus

***de