A Place of Grace

New Soil
No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak, for the patch pulls away from the cloak, and a worse tear is made. Matt. 9:16

What! I have to let go of this old coat? I've loved this coat. It has kept me warm through some pretty hairy winter weather! It has faithfully provided comfort on long car rides. It still looks really good, even if a little worn around the cuffs and hem. Maybe no one will notice the tear. I mean, it's vintage anyway!

Will a new coat serve me as well? Will it fit just right? Will it be as warm?

What is the price we have to pay to receive the fresh teaching of the Gospel? What are the stakes if we want to live in the fullness of life God has promised? To embrace a life full of wonder and mystery, ancient behavior patterns and deeply entrenched thinking processes have to be uprooted.

That sounds like work. This is yet another ancient perception that life should be fun and easy. Anything that I've never done before holds the trepidation that it's going to be hard, laborious, and unrewarding.

Also, I don’t know how to let go of things I've never let go of before. Another deeply held feeling that I'm inadequate to the task.

Will people still like me? (and the ugly B side) People will think I’m amazing. In other words, it won't be all about me anymore, so what will it be about?

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Empty
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Isaiah 55:2

I have spent so much money and wasted so much effort on so many things that have failed to bring me joy, that have, in fact, generated chaos, and, in some cases, caused manic desperation, depression or abject fear.

Everything I have used in my own desire to make my life more palatable has left me with nothing to show for it. Well, that's not completely true. I've got some scars and some baggage that keeps showing up. Maybe the better word would be empty.

Maybe this is a little reductionist. I have done some good, even if my intentions were self-serving. I have received and given love, even if it had some conditions. I have worshipped, even if it was tinged with pride.

God is just asking me the question again, "What are your motives today?" Is my attention on my own needs, my own desires, myself, or am you hoping that God will fill in the gaps to genuinely meet my needs by meeting someone else's, satisfy my desires by hoping with someone else, and meet all of us right where we are?

Today, faithful God, let me empty out all my silly efforts to run the universe and surrender my keys to you.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash

Religion Ain't Done No Good
The one who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning, and darkens the day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea, and pours them out on the surface of the earth,
the … is [their] name. Amos 5

Young people are leaving the church in droves. Can't say I blame them. I’ve been hurt by the church. I’ve hurt people in the name of my church. I’ve seen church run amuck! It’s so messy!!

I have a pretty solid theory as to why: because the church is full of people who are not God...including me!

It’s so easy to blame all the people, denominations, left and right wings, etc. But I'm just as culpable. All of us stand in this blame circle because none of us are God. It's when we forget that, or when we think we can actually know with certainty what God wants us to do, to say or to be that we begin to drift toward our dangerously narcissistic state of self-determinism.

God...better yet...the one so large that they can't be named flung the stars into place and determines the course of the planets. The Holy One who set the oceans within boundaries can, with seeming disregard, call the waters over those barriers.

It's just too easy to forget the majesty and might of the only One who is worthy of our worship. Today, please, magnificent One who is many, humble me again.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Less Than...
Don’t become so well-adapted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Romans 12:2 The Message

Everything I attempt to do by myself ends up messy, half-cocked and regrettable because decisions were made from an extremely limited data field.

I have this vivid memory of the 5th grade playground and feeling the anxiety of 6th grade in a new junior high school in a different part of town. I definitely felt the “less than” self-consciousness of adolescence when Tracy seemed to know everything about it. She was answering every question like she had already been there and was the resident expert. She was pretty. She had it all under control and proved herself to be much smarter than me (by hurting me, of course). Being young and adaptive, I changed my behavior to match hers (and anyone and everyone who I saw as “more than” me).

This addictive behavior became my MO. A lifetime of comparisons has established deeply entrenched synaptic pathways that I don’t have the vocabulary or imagination to change. My "less than" stature in comparison to others has been confirmed by my family of origin, my friend set, my hobbies and interests, my goals and life ambitions.

I never have to go very far to find someone who I think is "more than" me since all my criteria and judgments are a product of my own "less than" thinking.

God tells me that I'm just right. What a relief!

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by moren hsu on Unsplash

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Would I have noticed the bird song if this reading had not reminded me to be still? Just stopping to notice the comfort of this chair, the warmth of my tea and the smooth movement of the pen on paper makes my life more livable.

To get to stillness I have to release my obsession with planning my day. I have to trudge all the way through canned perceptions of worth like big houses, good jobs and beautiful families. I have to sift through my quick and obvious character flaws (and my judgement of them) that keep my mind occupied: being right, winning, amassing power, avoiding pain, blah, blah, blah.

Really, I have to stop thinking…yup…the real obsession that robs me of peace, stillness and comfort in my life…is me.

Put yourself aside, Melissa, and observe the beauty that is God all around.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Jan Meeus on Unsplash

DOOMED!
We’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us. Romans 3:22-24 The Message

Doomed! I tell you…DOOMED!!

Oh, that we could take all of our self-defeating behaviors seriously all the time and every day, because they really are our destruction. We don’t because it’s teeny-tiny little infractions everyday that seem so harmless, so innocent. These are the behaviors that continue unabated and unevaluated, as involuntary as our heartbeat. In fact, and in many ways, we define ourselves by our most obvious dysfunctional patterns.

“That’s just who I am.”
“I’m just like my dad.”
“I’ve always been that way.”

We wouldn't feel this way if we were talking about our positive qualities like generosity, for example, or anything that highlights acts of kindness. No, our most common (glaringly undeniable) identity markers reference surrender to our darkness, the part of us that we aren’t proud of.

And this stuff requires genuine honesty instead of a flippant disregard.

How many angry, mean, hurting, hurtful 80 year old people do you know? There is a movie once called “Grumpy Old Men” because so many old people are grumpy. I get it. They probably are in physical pain and are grieving all the people they have out-lived. Their pain and grief is blinding them to all the goodness that surrounds them. That is a doomed existence.

That’s not who I want to be at 80. I want to be kickin’ it! I want to get real with myself and the people I’m on this planet with. I believe I can live what’s left differently than what was before and I believe that’s self-victory-ing (living the glorious LIFE God wills for me).

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Einar Storsul on Unsplash

Hello, friends,

My mother had a stroke on Thursday, and our lives are vastly different now. I’m not going to be able to restart bible study this week. I am, though, preaching here and there and loving it! I’ll be at Immanuel UCC in St. Bernard this Sunday.

Prayers and good vibes always appreciated!

🙏🏻 Aaron

Light or Death
And there will be no more night; they need no light of lamp or sun, for the Eternal Spirit will be their light. Revelation 22:5

I will probably live a statistically normal life span but how will I live each day? To live in the default patterns of my limbic (reptilian) brain is to die to love, to hope, to joy and to peace.

I’ve tasted freedom from reactivity, selfishness and self-obsession, but is it pervasive and consistent? Not yet, but it seems a tangible reality. That’s huge!

Spirit: you give me a choice. To live in your light that offers freedom from anger, compulsion and bitterness or to hang onto my need to feel justified in darkness. Take my hand and lead me to the light.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH 45225 washingtonucc.org

Photo by Prateek Gautam on Unsplash

Hello, friends,

First, let me apologize for dropping off the face off the planet. The past month has been challenging. I’m a caregiver for my mother, who has declined quickly; my wife started a new job; we had foundation work done in the house; and I have my own health issues. Looking back, I should’ve communicated better about the cessation of bible study.

HOWEVER, I’d like to start it again next week. I’m wondering if there are particular texts or ideas people might like? Let me know! I love doing tailored studies. Otherwise, I’ll follow the lectionary.

Hope all y’all are doing well! Blessings and love.

PEACE
Do good; seek peace, and pursue it. Psalm 34:14

Peace. Everyone craves it. I think is it a pretty universal desire, particularly in stressful times when we don’t know peace. In response we create systems (addictions) that exacerbate the stress instead of bringing peace. “World Peace” is the iconic beauty pageant answer because it is illusive almost to the point of absurdity. Particularly today as people are suffering due to major conflicts between global powers, which I remind you are comprised of people.

Peace, however, is the theme of most religions and spiritual practices. It is a persistent promise that powerfully incentivizes devotion.

So how do I reconcile the illusive, almost delusional idea that peace can be possessed with the dangling carrot that spiritual practice offers?

Peace is an inside job. It can’t be manufactured or fabricated. It can be facilitated but it is not scripted. It is a gift. It can be shared but the receptacles have to be prepared.

It is other-worldly. That’s the source of its appeal. I have to let go of this world so that my hands, my heart and my mind are open to receive it.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Don't worry...right!
Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

How many times are we told to stop worrying, to not be afraid, to not be anxious about anything?!? Tons of times, as a matter of fact. Maybe someone has done the concordance search to answer my question from a Biblical angle, but it's not just the Bible. It's the doctor and the therapist and the meditation guru and your best friend that say it too. Worry and anxiety are stealing our lives!

So how do we stop? There is a myriad of ways that people assuage worry and anxiety: alcohol, food, s*x, gambling, shopping, spending, extreme sports, etc. Do they work? Perspective might be gained, respite experienced, or discomfort assuaged for a moment, but the cares and causes for worry are not removed by these actions. And when they return, most of us will need more or something different to get the same affect we got the last time.

Only direct action will release us. It takes dang hard work and intentionality to move beyond the isolation, control, manipulation and detail management that characterize worry as a lifestyle.

Well…wait a minute. Not hard work, necessarily. It actually takes complete surrender of the perception that anything I can do in my own power is going to have any effect. That in itself is hard, but not work.

It’s really such a paradox! I make the messes I want to escape from by trying to escape from the messes I make. The one solution that works every single time is to stop trying to solve my own problems.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

14 Hours
Every morning you’ll hear me at it again.
Every morning, I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar
and watch for fire to descend. Psalm 5:5

Just 24. Not 48. Not 168. Not 8,760.

Intention is a word I’ve been catching a lot recently; setting an intention or doing something with intention. Intention means to pay attention with awareness of purpose or quality. Today, for example, I set the intention to relax and find contentment indoors since it will be raining most of the day. It’s a day off and when I scheduled it, I expected to be gardening or bike riding or both. I probably won’t be able to do either and I don’t want to live in disappointment. I can set an intention instead to find delight in whatever activities do arise.

Intention is different from expectation. Expectation would tell me to manufacture delight so that I don’t disappoint myself. Expectation would be searching for delight, in this case, with a quality of desperation. Expectation would respond unfavorably to unpleasantness like boredom or, even worse, pain. Expectation is about the outcome.

Intention, however, is curious, hoping for a fresh perspective or new experience of the mundane. Intention is eyes open to possibility and heart open to the deepening of the context. Intention is about the moment, the infinite potential of the next 24 hours of moments.

Now if I can just remember this intention I have set for some of the next 24 hours of moments. See, I just created an expectation with the potential for disappointment. Well, there is delight in the growing self-awareness that I just did that too.

Rev, Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH, washingtonucc.org

Photo by Lucian Alexe on Unsplash

Every Day Is A Day!
Here’s the point. God didn’t send His Son into the world to judge it; instead, He is here to rescue a world headed toward certain destruction. John 3:17

Life, resurrection, renewal, whatever you want to call this Christian journey is certainly not a one and done deal. It’s two steps forward and one step back. Progress, not perfection. One day at a time. Nothing lasts forever.

The cliques are easy ways to consume the hard pill that life is not easy. I am always looking for ways around the harder choice. So clique of me!

So, today, in this Easter season post, I want to say the hard truth: I need the crucifixion as much as I need the resurrection. Maybe more. I need to see how hard the path to freedom is and accept its pain. I want to die to the lies, the manipulations and the false security of denial. Easy to say. To actually do it requires that I tell the truth, accept my responsibility and make the choice to surrender my strong will to God’s better will.

I need to believe that the promise of resurrection is in my willingness to look at the horror and the pain I’ve caused others and myself. Then the vision of a living, forgiving and grace-filled God is carried into all my activities.

Rev. Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Picture of a sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean near St. Augustine Beach, Florida

Just Ask
Because you have asked…I give you a wise and discerning mind. 1 Kings 3:11-12

Yes, yes and YES! God promised inspiration. Spirit informed intuition. Decisions aligned with the Creator. Now that’s living! And that’s the life I want, available for the asking.

On this particular day, the appointed day when we consider the depth, breadth and gravity of the cross, its implications across time and space, and, most importantly, its meaning in my life and yours, I yet wonder what it means. And here is the caveat: what it means to us, the world and the cosmos today is different than it was a millennia ago and will be different in the next. Perhaps that is the wisdom of God continually being revealed.

I need to refrain from jumping to the outcome, for what was finished in this event so many years ago is continually unfolding. Yet, I stand in my deeply held faith that God will answer if asked, and implanted within me, in my God’s-own-image DNA, is the connective tissue to receive the answer.

Today my conclusion is affirmed in the dramatically portrayed surrender of God on the cross: my beautifully simple purpose is to live collaboratively with God, allowing God to carry the lion’s share of the burden.

Rev, Melissa Stephens, Pastor
Washington UCC, Cincinnati OH washingtonucc.org

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash


Now, today, may I remember. May I surrender. May I see through the clouds of my ego-driven patterns and experience the peace and wisdom that is already mine.

Hello, APOG!

I've had a something arise and need to reschedule our study for tomorrow at 1:30 and 7pm, which is more fitting as it is Maundy Thursday. Hope to see you then!

Afternoon:

Aaron Saari is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Maundy Thursday afternoon
Time: Mar 28, 2024 01:30 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83521453558?pwd=laut3JzDLoPsjsCK9hnFoaZUG8NWxO.1

Meeting ID: 835 2145 3558
Passcode: 823078

—-

Evening:
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82581465220?pwd=oaaIEbrNOhadilgAAVef2n2T7ZxetB.1

Meeting ID: 825 8146 5220
Passcode: 516891

us06web.zoom.us

***POSTPONED UNTIL TOMORROW***

Hello, friends!

This week, we will be looking at the figure of Judas Iscariot. Some of you may know that I wrote a book on Judas. I've place jpegs of the relevant chapters into a Word file.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/yij2gt6rzr74efyjhmu3g/Judas-book-jpegs.docx?rlkey=hdbn8awwcamujqh5bpv8j6rxa&dl=0

I've distilled the information into a podcast. I apologize for the engineering quality. It is also a long listen.

https://on.soundcloud.com/2sMwKnCVUytq8xge7

Zoom links

Noon:
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/89557226284...
Meeting ID: 895 5722 6284
Passcode: 456504
7pm:
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83228234704...
Meeting ID: 832 2823 4704
Passcode: 873029

www.dropbox.com