Youth Listener

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Youth Listener The Youth Listener website is where young people can access cost free help regardless of what mental health state, they’re in.

You do not need to be a dancer to dance for yourself. Release the child in you

There is often a confusion between anxiety attacks and panic attacks because they are both fear based and share a few similar symptoms. However, both of them are very different in their own ways. Panic attacks are more intense than anxiety attacks and happen suddenly, even without a trigger. Check the chart above for more symptoms and save them in case you need to distinguish between the two in the future :)

If you're confused about a certain person's behavior and may be wondering if they're toxic to you, try answering these questions below,

1. Do they often not follow through with their commitments and promises?
2. Do you feel like you're being put down whenever you're with them?
3. Do they constantly seek your help/attention but isn't always there when you need theirs?
4. Do you always feel bad about doing or saying something whenever you're with them?
5. Do you tend to feel emotionally exhausted every time after you met them?
6. Are they always quick to blame things on you?
7. Are they always taking the things you say especially your boundaries, preference lightly?
8. Do you feel confused about their compliments, almost like they could be insulting you?
9. Do they always act like the victim in every situation?
10. Are you constantly questioning if you over-reacted or is being over sensitive?

If you answered 'Yes' to more than half of these questions, then it is time you start distancing yourself from them. 😞

Come chat with our listeners anytime.
Link in bio! 👂💗

We all have things we don't like about ourselves and that is okay. 🤗 The message of the world now seems to be 'love yourself' and indeed, it is a wonderful message. But, you don't have to feel bad if you can't love yourself at the moment or if you still have alot of things you hate about yourself. The truth is we may never come to like everything about ourselves but what's important is that we learn to acknowledge and accept that it is part of us and be okay with it. Take your time to learn, accept and improve those things about you. You don't have to rush. It is a process after all, take all the time you need. 💗☺

1. Someone you feel comfortable expressing yourself too
2. Someone you can be yourself in front of (similar to pt 1.)
3. Someone who would drop anything to help you; and someone you feel like you would drop everything for to help
4. Someone you feel loved and supported with
5. Someone who understands you with no words spoken
6. Someone who works hard to understand you in all means possible
7. Someone who does not drain you

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As a HSP, friendships, and any relationships, are very important to us. HSPs tend to absorb energies and reflect moods of people, and this can cause them distress in daily life. Therefore, it is important to have good and uplifting company. You’re not being picky if you are just trying to protect your energy.

Here are the 3 major types of people who make you feel unsafe:

1. The Small-Talk Sams: These people love doing small talks which have no emotions in them and requires an HSP to put energy into a meaningless conversations. It is okay to have acquaintances, but HSPs prefer profound and genuine conversations with those they meet rather than small-talks.

2. The Energy Vampires: HSPs need to be careful with these type of people who are often very draining. HSPs are very compassionate and empathetic, therefore there are people who might want to take advantage of that and rant to them to take loads off their chest. HSPs should set boundaries with these type of people to protect their own mental health.

3. The Judge Judys: HSPs might have had a hard time owning up their feelings, sensitivity and finding confidence, hence if there is someone that is calling them “too sensitive” or “dramatic”, it is important for the HSP to not have this person around them.

Have these notes on your mind the next time you make friends :)

Hang in there! Your story does not end here, keep walking and turning those pages!

Here's to remind you not to be too hard on yourself. You're trying your best after all. Sometimes things just don't turn out like you expect even when you put alot of effort into it and that's okay. Don't go resenting yourself for it. You've done enough, now take a step back and breathe a little. Take a break, go unwind. Get enough rest so you could come back and work on it again. 🤗💗

Here are some tips to make use of your ADHD instead of stressing over them 😉:

1. Use Google Calendar - organizes your schedule by using different colors to block out your time.
2. Invite people over - this will make you clean up to get ready for them.
3. Have a backup brain - use your phone or an app to record everything you need to do either by jotting it down, taking a pic, etc.
4. Get a clutter companion - sort your clutter into 4 piles, "keep", "toss", "donate", "age". Revisit "age" after 3 months and redecide on it.
5. Clean up in stages - dust everything one day, wash your toilets and sink another day, vacuum another day.
6. Group items - store items that are usually used together in the same compartment/storage area.
7. Wait - instead of acting on that impulse immediately, wait for a week(s) and gauge if the "need" is still there to do it.
8. Pin to-do list - pin your to-do list on your phone's wallpaper or laptop's homepage etc so you'll see it every time you use it.

We are here because we want to listen to you. Here is a safe space created just for you. You can vent, rant, express, process, cry. You can do whatever you need to do freely to ease yourself in this space. There are no judgements, obligations and expectations. You can be unapologetically you. 🤗

Chat with our listeners today. 👂💗

We usually tend to associate a bad start of the day or a bad morning as some kind of sign that the whole day isn't going to go well. When we think of it that way, from that moment on our brain is only going to focus on everything wrong that is happening to us. At the end of the day, regardless if the day was just alright, good or bad we''ll sum it up as a bad day because we only looked at all the negative things that happened. It's different if we become aware and accept that both good and bad things are going to happen to us in a day randomly. When we expect both good and bad things can happen in a day, we wont be too fixated on the idea of wanting to sum up if today is a good or bad day. It could be just alright, good or bad, at the end of the day you tried your best and handled it well. It's a day you did well once again. 🥰🤗💗

Hope you have a great Sunday

Note from a YL writer:
In the past several years, when things got hard, I always told myself I need to keep going for my child self who had big dreams for me. But after a few years, it was not motivational enough for me to keep living for my child self. Moreover, I did not even want to think about my childhood. I decided to journal about it to find out why I am currently living the way I am, through which I found out I was living for my 17 year old self, and not my childhood self.

Because my 17 year old self was the first one to love me. Up until 17 years, I had lived in a cycle of people pleasing and prioritizing everybody else. But undergoing severe trauma as a 17 year old, I started to look out for myself. I had to, because I knew nobody else would back then. I was still as compassionate as I used to be, but this time, I was starting to prioritise myself and do ANYTHING possible to help me survive. I exercised ate healthy, reflected on my feelings to help me stay calm, participated in everything that I wanted, e.g. playing soccer, being a part of the badminton team, being in the drama club, singing etc.... all for my mental health. The urge to keep living became a huge goal in my life that helped me finally begin to love myself rather than look for it outside.

Living in the present moment is one of the hardest lessons for us humans, and we are often grieving/ reminiscing about our past or feeling anxious about what the future holds for us. However, living in the past or future snatches away our happiness. Happiness does not come from things that make you feel nostalgic, happiness does not come from things you think you will achieve/ have in the future. Happiness actually comes from within you, and you have control over it. So it is important that you take a few moments every day to ground you to the present. Here are a few things you can try to help you enjoy every second of your life:

Accept things the way they are and let go of the script you have on your mind for how you have been expecting things to go. We cannot control how our life goes, we can only control our own feelings and reactions to things. There are often times where life throws curve balls at us. Allow yourself to feel your emotions as they are and accept things. This will help you move on.
Do not hold anyone back. People in your life are all temporary. The only one who is permanent in your life is YOU. Consider that when you are making decisions in your life.

(Read more in comments)

When someone is experiencing anxiety, the last thing you want to do is make them feel small, judged or weak. In those moments, you want to reassure them and support them in any way you can. So, here are some things you can say instead so your anxious friend/loved one can trust to rely on you for support. 💗😌

1. "Heyy, are you okay?" instead of "Heyy, calm down!"
2. "I'm always here if you need to talk" instead of "I know how you feel"
3. "Take your time" instead of "Everything will be fine"
4. "How can I help?" instead of "You should try meditating/yoga/etc"
5. "I know you can't control it" instead of "It's all just in your head"
6. "Your fears/worries/triggers are not silly" instead of "Other people have it much worse"
7. "Do you want to do something to take your mind off?" instead of "Are you still feeling anxious?"
8. "Let's sort this out together" instead of "Oh, here we go again"

At Youth Listener, we believe everyone everywhere deserves emotional support without any cost. Emotional support helps us get through life, helps us deal with problems, helps us be kinder to ourselves and enable us to give that support to someone else who needs it. Don't hesitate to come over and chat with our listeners at anytime. Our listeners are trained for this very purpose, you can trust us. 🤗🥰

Link in our bio! 👂💗

As we go through life, we're constantly learning and growing directly or indirectly from our experiences, new knowledge, new people we meet, new challenges we face, etc. As this happens, our minds develop and may reform insights about some important things we've already thought about because we gained a new perspective and a new way of looking at things. It means we've grown out of who we thought we were at one point of time and it's okay. We may change our mind/stand about a goal, a principle, a pet peeve, etc and it's totally okay. Whatever you changed your mind about is relevant to you now than the previous one. You don't have to feel bad or let anyone make you feel bad for changing your mind about something that concerns your life. 💗😎🤗

All of us leave a legacy behind, think about who you want to be in your story

Breakdowns often make you feel like it is the end of the world and you would not be able to live anymore. And the worst thing is, it makes you feel like nothing and no one can help you get out of it anymore. They can occur due to recent trauma (e.g. a friend moving away, break ups, death of a loved one etc.), work/school related stress, chronic mental health issues or interpersonal problems.

The first way to treat with any problems, including a breakdown, is to seek therapy. But if you are in an immediate risk of mental breakdown, it is important to remove yourself from the environment you are in (e.g. if you are at a class at uni- bet you can just leave; if you are at home, go for a walk; just get yourself out of where you are).
If you are unable to get yourself out of the place, try to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and release for 8 seconds.

Breakdowns are temporary, and will not last for a lifetime. Do not give up on yourself when you facing them. This world needs you. You need yourself. You got this!

Everytime you think you are supposed to hold back your tears when your eyes are begging you to let them out, everytime you choose your pride over being vulnerable, everytime you think sharing your feelings will burden yourself and others, a little part of you breaks. Stop torturing yourself this way and take breaks when necessary, do communicate your needs to others if you are struggling, and also stop feeling guilty for what you are feeling. We are all here to consciously create better societies for ourselves and others. By expressing your needs and feelings, you are helping yourself, and setting an example for others to be able to do the same and relieving them from their pain. So ALWAYS remind yourself that it is okay if you are not able to endure pain. Remind yourself that you are human and you do experience difficult emotions. Remind yourself that you are saving yourself and others. And NEVER hold back!

If your younger self met you today, what do you think they would say? Would they be proud of you, impressed by you, find comfort in you? Did you become the person your younger self would be proud of? You've come a long way and you've grown so much, it's only natural that they would be proud of you. So you should be proud of yourself too. There may still be a lot you need to work on but the you right now have achieved so much from where you were before so give yourself some credit, alright! 💗☺😎

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It's not your job to constantly please all the people you love. You are your own person and sometimes the things you do, decide, value for yourself may not align with their standards or expectations and that's okay. Your outlook on life shouldn’t be based on others’ opinions. You will disappoint some people along the way and that isn't something you should feel guilty about. 💗

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We're not perfect beings and we don't have to be. We're flawed, clumsy, dumb, awkward, and timid but it doesn't define who we are. We're a mess on the inside and on the outside and that's okay. Let's embrace this imperfect version of ourselves. The best part of loving this about ourselves is we no longer feel afraid to make mistakes, to say something stupid, to walk clumsily, to live freely. It's a long journey to finally coming to love that part about you so let us start today, slowly, steadily, one step at a time. 👣💗☺