Wellness with Abbey

How many times have you told yourself “I’m not ready” or “I’ll start on Monday” and then Monday comes around and you don’t start. Instead of being filled with motivation, you’re filled with excuses. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

This is what happens when we don’t know WHAT we are waiting for - you makes excuses instead of moves.

Your inner mean girl will tell you that it’s not the right time and if you don’t know what the “right” time looks like, you’ll never start.

She’ll convince you that you are “too busy” and if you don’t know what kind of “not so busy” she is looking for and how to find it, you’ll never take the first step.

She wants you to believe that you aren’t “ready” and if you don’t know what classifies you as “ready” you will continue to put off the habits, the confidence- and the life that you want.

Your Monday will never come.

Your goals are too important for that to happen. How good you will feel and what you will create when you are willing to get the ball rolling is much too valuable for your inner mean girl to take away from you.

You can wait as long as you want - just know what you are waiting for so that this time, you make a plan instead of excuses.

Let’s make some moves. Schedule a free consultation and let’s find out what you’re really waiting for.

There is something special that happens inside Confident Mind & Body.

Week after week, I help my clients identify small steps they can make to move themselves closer to their goals.

Steps that, in the past, their inner mean girl would have told them wasn’t “enough”.

I help them trust in themselves and in their progress to move through these stories - to give it a chance.

And then one day, it all sinks in.

How far they’ve come.
How good they feel.
How easy it has felt to get there.

One of my clients hit this exact moment today.

“This is it” she said “this is everything I needed. This is as if you’ve handed me the past five months on a silver platter. I feel so empowered. I’m making decisions for ME now. Im not listening to my inner mean girl. I don’t care what other people are doing or what they think. This is for me. This is my life.”

This is the moment it’s all worth it. Those years I spent battling my own inner mean girl was the greatest gift.

It’s allowing me to bring other women through their own journey - away from their inner mean girl and the pursuit of perfection and into the habits, the confidence and the life they’ve been dreaming of.

You can do it too.

No matter where you are starting, no matter how many things you’ve tried or how many times you think you’ve failed. I’ve got you. I know how to help you through it.

I know the power of the small steps.

I know the power quieting your inner mean girl.

And I know the power of what you can create in just six months.

It starts with a free consultation. Message me to schedule or to learn more.

Perfection is a funny thing.

We think it’s this big thing that we’ll quickly be able to recognize and avoid and yet what I’ve experienced is that perfection is subtle and it plays a bigger part of our lives than we realize.

It’s telling yourself that you’re not ready.
That you’re too busy.
That you don’t have the time.

What you are really saying is “I need it to be perfect”

The problem with this is that it takes you out of being able to solve for the busy of your life - which if you are anything like me is not going away any time soon.

But when you quiet your inner mean, you give yourself the ability to problem solve.

You stop looking for the perfect time, the perfect schedule, the perfect way and you start to look for the way that’s perfect for you.

This is what allows you to create the habits and the confidence you want while living the big, beautiful, busy life you love.

You can always choose to wait. The question is why would you?

It can be so easy to look back on our past and let it bring us down.

Your inner mean girl will always direct your focus to everything you’ve tried that didn’t work, all the times you started only to stop, all the times you’ve lost only to gain - all the goals you set that you didn’t reach.

These will always be a part of your story.

But they aren’t your whole story.

That, you have to be willing to look forward - and it starts with quieting your inner mean girl.

Those days - those years! - that I spent beating myself up and tearing my body down were HARD.

They also gave me strength to create the life I want to be living - with habits that feel good to me and the confidence to maintain them with ease.

When your inner mean girl wants to show you your past and all the things that didn’t work out, thank her for the reminder and turn yourself right back around to your future.

The future you are going to create without her 🤍

Today we took the kids to a UCONN football game. It’s been years since we’ve been to a game, but I was immediately transported back 20 years 😬 when we attended games as students with our best friends.

Those days were so fun.

But I would never want to do them again.

Those days were also filled with self criticism, doubt and comparison.

Those fun days turned into guilt and shame and miles and miles of runs to make up for it.

But I wouldn’t trade those days (any of it) for anything.

Those days led me here.

I needed those days to show me how I don’t want to live my life.

I had to live life with my inner mean girl so I could build the courage to live life without her.

If you feel like the best years of your life are behind you, I can promise you they aren’t.

The best days of your life start the moment you learn to quiet your inner mean girl.

The start of the school year is a hard transition.

My kids have come home exhausted and overwhelmed- their patience low and stress high (sounds familiar, right?!).

And when they wanted to just hang around the house and relax, I thought “perfect, I have so much to do”

But after just a couple of days I could see that hanging around the house was not helping.

So instead I made it a priority for us to get out and move our bodies.

Which meant I had to put all my to-dos to the side - something my inner mean girl never would have let me do before.

But I’ve learned to quiet her down.

I’ve learned to change my relationship with time and to trust that things WILL get done.

And things did get done.

I checked more boxes this week and felt more productive BECAUSE of this time.

The to-do lists will always be there, more work will always be there. The pressure to do it all - to overwork and overdeliver will always be there.

But what will you gain if you quiet your inner mean girl and start to take the pressure off?

Maybe like my kids and I this week, the fighting (the constant battle with your inner mean girl) will turn into laughter from living your life.

Maybe like my kids and I, the overwhelm will turn into creativity and productivity.

The stress into joy.

And the exhaustion into a new found energy.

It’s not always what you do or how long you do it - more often it’s what you are willing to let go of and what you are willing to let in.

It’s time to let in more confidence, more joy - more things that create the life you want to live.

Happy Saturday 🤍

Life is busy. Your schedule is non-stop, your to-do list is long. Everyone and everything needs you and the thought of taking time for yourself feels overwhelming.

I know the feeling of being pulled in a million different directions. I know the pull of your inner mean girl and her story that there is no end in sight.

I also know that when we focus on the time we don’t have, the things we can’t do, it’s impossible for us to see the time we do have.

But when you are willing to look for it AND you are willing for it to be enough, you will always find it.

This shift profoundly changed my life. It changed my habits, my confidence - and my relationship with time.

And week after week, I see it changing the lives of my clients.

They are going from feeling like victims of their schedule to owning the time they do have.

They’re now using that time with intention - in a way that makes them feel good.
In a way that now feels easy.
In a way that works with their busy schedules and long to-do lists.

Your time doesn’t need to change.
Your schedule doesn’t need to change.
Your busy doesn’t need to change.

The only thing that needs to change is your relationship with your time.

Listen in to this week’s Quiet Your Inner Mean Girl podcast as I discuss how you can transform your relationship with time - and in return, create the habits, the confidence and the life you want.

And if you haven’t yet - leave me a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Happy Friday 🤍

A friend texted me and said “you’re so brave posting all those photos of yourself. I couldn’t do it. I hate pictures of me”

The truth is, posting pictures of myself is uncomfortable for me.

I would rather post pictures of the beach, bike rides with my kids or my dog BUT my that text is why I do it.

I know there are women out there who continue to fall victim to their inner mean girl. Women who won’t even take a photo of themselves let alone post one.

And forget photos and posts - I know there are women out there who can’t look at themselves in the mirror without beating themselves. Women who are crippled by thoughts of everything they aren’t that they can’t see what they are.

I know there are women out there who so badly want to change how they feel about themselves, how they talk to themselves, how they show up and live their life but they don’t know how. Women who believe they have tried everything and nothing works.

I know there are women out there who so desperately want to be a good example for their kids but they are overwhelmed with what to do and what not to do, that they don’t even know where to start.

That’s where I come in.

I can help them start.

And if posting pictures of myself can help them to believe that if I can quiet my inner mean girl and feel healthy and confident in the body I used to beat up maybe they can too, I will post them all day every day.

Because every woman deserves the habits and the confidence that allow her to live the life she loves.

And I know I can help 🤍

I used to believe that confidence was something you either had or your didn’t.

And yes, some people are born confident - and for some confidence comes easy.

But, what I’ve learned over the years is that confidence isn’t for the select few.

It’s a daily decision - and it compounds over time.

I remember the exact moment I proved this to myself. The moment I stood in front of the mirror and after years of beating myself up and tearing my body down, I looked at myself and had the courage to tell my inner mean girl “not today”.

That moment may seem small. I could easily have believed it wasn’t “enough”, but that moment changed my life profoundly.

It’s the small shred of confidence that has compounded over time.

The confidence that has allowed me to quiet my inner mean girl and to live my healthiest, most energetic life on my terms.

Maybe the moment the you are waiting for isn’t the big starting line or the high level of motivation you think you need. Maybe it’s much smaller that you think.

Maybe it’s right now.

Maybe this is the moment you will look back on and think, that was it - THAT was the moment that I had the courage to take my next step.

Take the step, join me in Confident Mind & Body and watch as this small bit of confidence compounds over time and becomes the habits, the confidence and the life you love.

Messaging me to set up a free consultation is the only step you will need the courage to do on your own - from there on out I’m with you every step of the way.

🤍🤍

Woof, did we have ourselves an afternoon - the kind where listening ears are malfunctioning and you start to question what is happening.

The kind of afternoon that can so easily make you feel like a victim.

“They shouldn’t be doing this”
“They don’t do this to others”
“They’re making this so difficult”

The problem with believing these stories of your inner mean girl is that it completely takes away any power you feel to make a change.

I’ve been coaching my clients a lot on this inside Confident Mind & Body and today when I felt the victim mentality creeping in, I brought myself back to something my client has been practicing lately…

“I can choose to be the victim OR I can choose to see things through a different lens”

She’s choosing to see things through a different lens.

She’s choosing to quiet her inner mean girl.

And because of it she’s keeping herself moving forward. She’s focusing on what makes her feel good - and Shara doing more of it. She’s managing her stress and her family’s (of 6!) crazy schedule with a new sense of calm.

So today, I chose to see things through a different lens.

And I chose to lead the way for my kids to see things differently too.

When things are just not working for us, we need a second to pause and regroup. To take a breather. To get outside and soak in some fresh air. To go for a walk and reconnect.

And now, after a couple hundred cartwheels later, we are back.

We are feeling good - and way more in control.

You can choose to be the victim, that’s always an option - but MAYBE choosing to see it through a different lens will serve you better than you ever thought possible.

Most of us think in probability.

We look back on our lives, the things we’ve done - and the things we haven’t done - and we believe that it is what we are capable of.

We’ve already done it, so we will probably do it again - we have all that evidence.

It’s why we believe we can never stick with anything, or we don’t have the time. It’s why we believe that it’s hard for us to lose weight or we can never keep it off.

It’s why we believe that we will never be confident, or we will never be a morning person.

As long as you listen to your inner mean girl and focus on what you’ve already done - you’ll live in probability.

You’ll create more of what you already have.

BUT if you can shift yourself into possibility, you open yourself up to creating the habits, the confidence and the life that you want.

What if this time you believed you would stick with it, that you did have the time?

What if you believed that you could lose the weight - AND that you would keep it off?

What if you believed that you could feel confident? What if you allowed yourself to find all the areas of the life where you already feel confident and you started here?

What if you decided that you may never be a morning person but that you were going to make the mornings your time?

WHO you become when you show up from a place of possibility will propel you forward. It will motivate you, even when motivation is nowhere to be found. It will change what you do and how to you speak to yourself.

It will help you to achieve your goals faster and easier than ever before.

I know that it may feel really hard to step into possibility and you can’t (yet!) believe that it’s possible for you, I will hold that belief for you every step of the way until you have the evidence you need to believe it for yourself.

Because I have been where you are - living in probability - and I have been through it.

And let me tell you, it’s a whole lot better on the other side.

Join me.

Happy Monday.

This feels like a moment that I need to document.

The moment I put my fears and anxiety and doubt aside and pushed PUBLISH on taking the Quiet Your Inner Mean Girl podcast into the world of podcasts.

It feels like the first time you drop your kids off at daycare - you know you WANT to but there are a thousand reasons that are trying to pull you back, trying to tell you that you can’t or you shouldn’t, that it’s too hard, it’s not the right thing.

And you have to bring yourself back to the WANT - to what’s on the other aside.

Today, I saw what was on the other side. Me, 10 years ago. Struggling with my inner mean girl, beating myself up, thinking life was always going to be that way.

I saw the glimmer of hope, of possibility that my story, my message can bring to someone who is where I was.

I imagined her having the courage to take that first step to change her life - to create the life she wants.

And in order for her to have the courage, I have to have the courage.

So here I am doing the brave, scary thing and feeling very excited about it.

And I hope you will come with me on this journey. I hope you will listen and download and share this podcast - because on the other side is more confident women.

Love you all 💕

Today I did what feels like one for the scariest things I have ever done - AND the thing I have felt the most compelled to do....I took my podcast to the world of podcasts EEEEEKKK.

I told my friends today that it kind of makes me want to vomit putting myself out into the world like this BUT I also know that it's going to help SO MANY women to believe that they can feel healthy and confident in their bodies AND live the life they want to live, and honestly it feels harder to not put myself out there when I think of the women that this podcast can help.

So here we go - off on a new exciting journey - doing it scared, doing it before I'm "ready", doing it imperfectly but doing it because I can see what's on the other side...more confident women.

I would LOVE for you to listen in and download the episodes - every download helps this podcast to be more visible - and if you feel compelled share with others. It would honestly mean the WORLD to me.

AND I would love to hear what you think - leave a review! Of course, I LOVE 5-star reviews, but I also want your honest opinion because I know that is going to make this even better.

It's available on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/quiet-your-inner-mean-girl-the-secret-creating-the/id1765768156

Spotify, Amazon Music and other podcast platforms.

Your inner mean girl will always offer you every reason why you “shouldn’t” - you don’t have the time or the energy, you’re too busy, too tired, it’s selfish, everyone and everything needs you - and your attention.

She’ll convince you that you will get to it one day.

But it’s hard for one day to come when we fall victim to her stories.

When we focus on all the reasons we “shouldn’t”, we can’t see why we SHOULD.

We can’t see that the net result of our lives when we listen to our inner mean girl is that we are always waiting, we are always pushing things off, telling ourselves that what we want isn’t important enough.

We don’t see that the net result of listening to our inner mean girl is frustration and disappointment, it’s guilt and resentment.

It’s a lack of energy and time.

It’s all the reasons she’s telling you that you shouldn’t.

The net result of listening to your inner mean girl is MORE inner mean girl.

When we focus on the net result of listening to our inner mean girl - we miss the net result of quieting her down.

In this week’s Quiet Your Inner Mean Girl podcast, I talk about the difference. I share how this has come up for me AND how I’ve seen it come up with my clients. You’ll learn how you can see beyond the stories of your inner mean girl and how you can powerfully choose the net result you want to create in your life.

If you find yourself falling victim to your inner mean girl and the stories she tells you that are holding you back from creating the habits, the confidence and the life you want - this week’s episode is for you.

Click the link in my bio to listen in.

Happy Friday 🤍

Have you ever thought…”it should be happening faster” or “I should be further along”?

Chances are, if you’ve ever set a goal for yourself that you really want, this thought has crossed you mind - and if you’re anything like me or my clients, it’s crossed your mind a lot.

OF COURSE, we want to reach our goals and reach them fast and the reality is, there probably is faster way to reach them but that doesn’t mean it’s YOUR way.

For years and years and years, I gravitated towards the “fast way”. The plan that promised me I’d lose 5lbs in a week - sign me up! Or the one that said I could thing my thighs in just 5 days…where have you been all my life?!?

I did them all.

They were always the longer, harder way.

I wouldn’t see the results I wanted, my inner mean girl would tell me it wasn’t happening fast enough, I’d feel frustrated and defeated and I’d give up until the next plan came along. It always felt so hard. Even when I was “doing” it, it felt too hard to maintain.

I didn’t really want FAST.

I didn’t want to be held down by restrictions.
I didn’t want to feel deprived.
I didn’t want to obsess anymore.
I didn’t want to miss out on core memories of my life because I was so caught up in the shoulds and shouldn’ts, the cans and cants and the good and bad.
I didn’t want to beat myself up anymore.

I wanted to feel good.

I wanted change AND I wanted to live my life.

So instead of looking for the perfect plan I started to look for what was perfect for me.

I learned to quiet my inner mean girl.

I made decisions based on how I wanted to FEEL.

I let go of the guilt and the shame - and the comparison I had carried around for so long.

I found my path - and my pace.

And in return, I found ME.

I feel stronger and healthy and confident in my body, my habits and my decision and this time, it feels easy.

In Confident Mind & Body, we find your way, your pace and the habits and the confidence you want to live your life - and that change you want, happens faster and simpler than ever before.

The first step is a free consultation - are you ready?

One of the things I wish I knew - like really knewww - when I was struggling to feel confident in my own body is that some things I do are NOT going to work for me.

And that’s OK.

Instead, I would grab hold of the latest trend - the diet, the workout routine, the quick fix that promised me I would lose weight, tone up, feel BETTER in just 3 days or 5 - or 2 weeks.

When it didn’t “work”, it was anything BUT OK.

I made it mean that I couldn’t do it.

I’d tell myself NOTHING worked - that I would never get there.

I perpetuated the story that I wasn’t enough - that I would never be enough.

I let my inner mean girl win.

And trend after trend, diet after diet, perfect workout plan after perfect plan I’d dig myself deeper into the spiral.

It wasn’t until I learned - reallyyy learned - that it was OK if SOME things didn’t work, that I started to dig myself out of that spiral.

But I had to quiet my inner mean girl first.

I had to allow some things to not work and more importantly I had to allow it to be OK.

I know the frustration of this spiral. I know the disappointment and the defeat. I also know that it can feel so overwhelming to try to dig yourself out - that’s why I’m here to help.

It’s why I created Confident Mind & Body. It’s the only place that addresses your inner mean girl. The only place you will learn to quiet her down so you can find what DOES work for you - so you can create the habits, the confidence and the life you’re craving.

It all starts with a free consultation- a single call that will open you up to what’s really happening, what’s possible for you - and what you are so very capable of.

It’s time my friend, to quiet your inner mean girl and start living your life with energy, joy and confidence.

Comment TIME or message me to schedule your call.

Today, I did a quick 10 min barre class before hitting the road for a weekend filled with hockey games.

It was MORE than enough for today.

Because it matters to me.
Because it makes me feel better.
It brings me energy.
And helps me manage my stress.
Because it makes me feel taken care of.
And it allows me to take care of everyone and everything else without running on empty.

Life is busy.

Some days I have more time than other days.

It’s always enough.

Because I quiet my inner mean girl when she tells me anything else.

Because I CHOOSE to believe it’s enough.

And the more I believe it’s enough, the more I show up for myself - not because I have to or I need to or I should, but because it’s who I am and what I do.

If you want to make change in your life - if you want to create habits that make you feel good and build confidence that motivates you to keep going, you have to quiet your inner mean girl.

You have to rewrite your stories.

You know life with your inner mean girl leading the way. It’s time to discover what it’s like when you quiet her down.

Join me in Confident Mind & Body. It’s THE program to quiet your inner mean girl and create the habits, the confidence and the life you want.

Consultations available this week. Let’s go.

Imagine yourself standing in front of the mirror and seeing your body for what it IS.

Imagine appreciating your body for all that it DOES.

Imagine loving on your body in a way that compels you to take care of your body like you never have before.

I know that may feel really far away. It felt miles and miles away for me too.

For most of my life, I thought the only way to change my body was to hate my body.

I didn’t think I could ever love my body until I had a body I loved.

But here’s what I know to be true - loving your body doesn’t happen when your body changes, it happens when you allow yourself to love your body.

And learning to love your body is the fastest way to change your body.

It’s the fastest way to create the habits you want to create and build the confidence you want to feel.

It’s the fastest way to live your life in a way that you love.

I couldn’t jump to loving my body, but I learned to move my way towards it.

And the way that I experienced this was through five stages.

In this week’s episode of the Quiet Your Inner Mean girl podcast, I walk you through these five stages.

Five stages that will carry you out of the spiral of self-sabotage and into a place where you love your body enough to care for your body.

Where you love your body enough to allow your body to change.

Opening yourself up to these five stages opens you up to a level of confidence you haven’t felt before. It opens you up to LIVING your life - and isn’t that the whole point?

Listen in to this week’s episode, discover which stage you are in right now - and then ask yourself…am I ready and willing to move on?

Am I ready and willing to love my body?

Am I ready and willing to live my life?

Let’s get to work, shall we?

Happy Friday 🤍