Harmony comedy for all

The real meaning of I'm finished is when at night you lock the door to kill a snake and then electricity goes off...

Finding a Husband is Hard...
1. You find a handsome one, the brain is empty.
2. You find a brilliant one, he looks too serious.
3. You find a rich one, he is respectful.
4. You find a hardworking one, he never has time for you.
5. You find a serious one, his EX keeps calling.
6. You find a humble one, he is broke.
7. You find a responsible one, he is not romantic.
8. You find an educated one, he feels he is always right.
9. You find an illiterate one, he always gets angry whenever you correct him.
10. You find a smart one, he lies every time.
Where is the perfect one?

Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife, but lately, there's nothing as such any longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes and for Lorry fares!

If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "Your breast", It's call COW BELL, OUR MILK!
Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

23-26 years -- Bachelor I
27-29 years -- Senior Bachelor
30-33 years -- Principal Bachelor
34-37 years - Deputy Chief Bachelor
38-40 years -- Chief Bachelor Grade II
41-48 years -- Bachelor General
49 years -- Life Bachelor/Field Marshal

I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day, I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom
I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around twon, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody do every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people following me: two policemen, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.

I don't know why women are so hard...
My wife went out leaving our new born baby in the hands of our pretty maid. The little boy kept crying and the maid did all she can, but he kept crying till she brought out her breast to give him and he stopped crying.
As the small boy was sucking the breast, I entered and saw it, I was so angry and afraid that he could contact some form of a disease. I shouted at the girl, but she told me that nothing was coming out of the breast. I didn't believe her, I decided to suck the breast too to confirm.
As I was sucking her breast, my wife came in! Upon all my explanation, she refused to understand.
Right now, I am typing this from my hospital bed.

Grandpa said to grand son,"see, your
teacher is coming.Go and hide because
you've missed school for two days." Grand
son replied,
"I took an excuse that you died; so you go
and hide.

Kitchen anthem!
Kitchen anthem!!
Kitchen anthem!!!.
Arise O kitchen pots
We Children want to eat
Prepare us rice and stew
And help us fry plantain
The meat on top must not be small
And make sure it's so sweet
And add Maggi nd salt
Some curry thyme and nutmeg
We can't wait to eat
*Kitchen pledge*
I pledge to my kitchen, my best place
To be cooking, boiling and frying
To serve my stomach the best of meals
To defend the meat and fishes
And uphold our spices and aroma
So help me pot***
does it make sense??