Paved By Grace

Everyday recently without fail my son has brought me a flower from outside and handed it to me.

This has been a trying season, and the Lord knows. I have no doubt the Lord has orchestrated the hands of my child to bring some comfort and reminders of and from Himself.

I am secure in my Father’s love
- and that knowledge will carry me through.

{Romans 8:35-39}

I remember a few years after high school, I had moved back to my hometown.

Life had not gone as I expected from the time I graduated at 17 with my advanced diploma and went off to university, and I was now 21 with 1 year-old on my hip.

I recall driving by my old high school, the top academic school in my state and #13 ranked in the nation where many brilliant people had graduated and went off to do big things in the world. As I drove by, I had a thought I’d stop by to see a few old teachers.

I was happy to have my baby boy alongside me despite all that had transpired for him to be birthed, but I also knew the looks I’d get from some and the thoughts most would think.

“What a waste of such talent.”

“Poor girl. She threw her entire life away.”

“She had so much potential.”

I did go in and visit that day. But looking back today, as a wife, soon-to-be mother of 4 and stay-at-home mom, I would not change a thing still. By the grace of God, He has opened my eyes to many beautiful truths. I thank God He never let me experience feel any shame towards being a young mother, even at times I had no idea what I was doing but I knew things needed to be done lol.

I am so blessed.
My children are so blessed.

I could not have a better place to expend my talents.

I could not have a better place than here to give my life.

I could not have a better time than now to walk in all my potential in Christ.

While many build earthly kingdoms to the glory of self, I build God’s Kingdom to His glory and my treasures are stored in a much securer place. My best rewards have not yet come, and I am overwhelmed with the rewards I reap already!

If I had gone off to be all I dreamed to be, I would be not fulfilled and could never be truly fulfilled. I would always be chasing after the next achievement, the next promotion, the next big break to my own boasting. No telling what terrible state I would have been in right now.

But here in this place, I rest in Christ, and serve others to the best of my ability. There is no one better fit to help my husband. There is no one better fit to teach my children. There is no one better fit to manage my home. If it were so, the Lord would not have me so.

He trades our ashes to His beauty for sure. Thank God He wrecks our plans before they wreck us. He is faithful, oh, so faithful.

It is in simplicity at my Father’s throne have I found beauty and purpose.

“Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the purpose of the LORD will prevail.”
- Proverbs 19:21

Art 🖼️ by Unknown

David.

A man after God’s own heart.

There is something I have always loved about reading the Psalms written by David and inspired by the Holy Spirit. His vulnerability unto God.

We live in a day and age of social media where everyone, even Christians, often only want to share their highs publicly and even some fall into this illusion of perfecting the image of self unto self. But it is just that - not real. God has given me eyes from life experience to see past all the smoke and mirrors.

Now, I do believe in having Godly discernment and not getting into the unprofitable details of your life for all to hear. Somethings are better left to wise counsel amongst fellow brethren. But I simultaneously I also believe in being honest - in every place of our walk.

When I am going through a difficult time, I do not act as if I am not. I do not act as if God is only good when I am in my more abundant seasons. As David, God has placed in my heart to be genuine in my worship unto Him. To be a Light to my fellow brothers and sisters even in the seasons I fight with what feels like all I have left, for it brings Him glory. Because where “me” ends, Christ begins, and in Him alone is victory.

I have tasted all this world has to offer.
I have been prosperous.
I have been well-known.
I have been talented.
I have been highly-esteemed.
I have been decorated in knowledge.
And I had been reckless in sin for most of my life - thinking it freedom!

And I have come to this very conclusion: It is all dung compared to Christ. For I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good!

Truly walking in Christ is not putting on your best face to appear to be anything. It is a fight. And, dear, war is not always pretty. Rarely is. But the beautiful thing of a true Believer, we find joy and beauty in the mist of it all for we know Who fights for us and our promised end!
We can sing a “Hallelujah” anywhere!

I am no one.
I prefer to be no one.
I just want to serve God in spirit and in truth.

May I be a woman after God’s own heart.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Your husband, if you are married, is as prone to messing up as you are.

If you go into marriage looking for Christ perfectly displayed in a man, you will be terribly disappointed.

As saved and filled with the Holy Spirit he very well may be, dear sister, he is still human. You are not called to be his accuser and neither his mother. God, a faithful Father, will get your husband where he needs to be as He is faithful to get us wives, who are also flawed, where we need to be. It’s a beautiful journey to experience, especially to see another soul grow in our Lord.

So give grace.
Lots of it and often.

Makes for a better marriage.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy. Marriage is for the long-haul and not for the feel good, even though if two souls are surrendered to Christ, it is very good!

- A

Worn.

I really can’t quite describe the season I am crawling through, but I know it’s exactly where the Lord wants me.

Spiritual warfare.
Mental warfare.
Physical warfare.

The spirit willing, the flesh weak. Yet as my sword and shield feel so heavy in my hands in the mist of battle and my legs are about to buckle from beneath me, a grander hand lifts up my arms, strengthens my legs, and says “I am here.”

I am not alone. There is another here in the fire. Paving my way by His grace - yet again.

I will be victorious, but for now I will fight my fight and I will honor my Lord in the trenches.

While I was yet not truly saved, my freshly 18 year old self thought it was a grand idea to get a tattoo permanently inked on my body. My one and only to this day with no more to come. It reads, “derribada, pero no destruida”.

She was struck down, but not destroyed.

My life’s journey has been just that. The Lord, by His Grace, faithfully seeing me through every battle. I pray today if anyone else is on the threshing floor right now, remember that you are not alone. Beautiful things are being produced in you right now. If this is what it takes for us to draw closer to Christ, let us bow and surrender unto it. If I must be crushed to produce the precious oils of righteousness, let it be. Whatever it takes. Oh, whatever brings Him glory!

Sanctify me.
Mold me.
Consecrate me for the times.
That I might know You in the suffering.

There is no lion’s den too fierce.
No furnace too hot.
No pharaoh too powerful.
No darkness that can overcome Light.

He is faithful, brethren.
His grace is sufficient for you.
Trust Him.

—————————
“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬-‭18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Just songs for today:
Whatever May Come - Jeremy Camp 🤍

To write again or not to write?

That was the question paddling through my mind for the past several months.

“But, Lord, you know the season I am in.”
”But, Lord, you know I am not where I want to be in You.”
“But, Lord…”

My pitiful excuses constantly falling on the ears of my all-knowing and all-seeing Father. I could literally hear His responses upon my heart before the thoughts could even complete themselves.

“What better time.”

“You are constantly growing, my daughter.”

“Waste not your talents. The times are perilous.”

What can I say to that, but, yes, Lord.

So here’s to a new, yet familiar journey after having my previous blog page mysteriously removed. I will never forget what the Lord told me years ago. To do all things to His Glory - whether there be many eyes or just His. So I will write to His Glory and be faithful and obedient in this place as long as He calls me to it, even if it only reaches the eyes of Him.

This brings me a deep peace and I cannot wait to share what He lays upon this surrendered heart.

- A