The Writings of Desmond E. Martin

I used to fear my tears because there was rage not far behind them.
Now I fear my tears because I realize a stranger is waiting behind them.

I don't think you're a very good writer if you don't go back to read your old work...and hate yourself. 🤷🏾‍♂️🙅🏿🙋🏾🤦🏾🙆🏿

Sometimes I read my words and think I sound brilliant.
Other days remind me what a giant "self-loving / self-hating" as***le I can be.

I wouldn't invite me to parties either. 🤷🏾‍♂️

When in doubt, eviscerate...

In a world filled with ants 🐜, it's an every day struggle not to use my magnifying glass. 🧐

Is hate a version of death ?
Is it a tiny step on a longer journey ?
It tastes like the death of innocence or naivety.
Is a "Hate Eater" the living dead ?
You cannot kill what is already dead...
A hateful man may be the closest thing to God.

I realized I hid my heart from myself.
MY greatest treasure,
and I lost it years ago.
It will return when it is ready.

When you're all alone, and there is no one to talk to ...the Abyss talks back.
Madness isn't lonely.
It's just secular.

You're all liars until you choose not to be.

Toxic is questioning my authenticity when you have none of your own.

I acknowledge exceptions so that I don't have to deal with contradictions.

I am the cold cruel words of reality that creep into your subconscious when those hollow words of self-empowerment ring true.
When the clock strikes twelve and it's time to put up or shut up.
I'm there, waiting to see the hand you're holding.
Because the bill always comes due.

The mind is a funny thing. Some days I can't shake the very idea of someone, and they're on my mind like a Chinese finger puzzle.

And one moment later I will have a realization, just a random thought that see's them in a new light. That's all it takes for me to alter my entire outlook on someone I had been previously fixated on.
The human mind is a wonderfully fickle thing.

What do you call someone that was stolen from their homeland, but not acknowledged as a citizen either?

Sometimes a good idea is the best kept secret on the planet.

The more people who read my work, the more people that will misunderstand me. 😬

I write the words that your souls whisper to you when you are asleep.

Until you've been alone,
you'll never find your truth.
Because only solitude,
brings true solidarity.

Some days I just need to walk away from it all.
Find my path.
Journey down a road where no one's eyes are judging me.
No whispers to cause me shame.
Only silence and my thoughts to stir me onward.
Shut it all down and take a breath.
Exhale.
Now keep stepping.

I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve.
I wear them proudly.
They are my butterfly 🦋 wings.

When I see something I disagree with, I ask myself if it is "right" or is it "wrong?"
Left or right.
On or off.
But like so many other things in this world, it is both.
All I have to decide is if I accept it or not.

God, I have so much growing up to do.
I have been naive all my life when it comes to civil engagement and social expectations.
It hurts to admit it.
But I am fool in love with the idea of being better than the lowest common denominator. 😏🤷🏾‍♂️

How social is social media?
Does it help any of us ?
Maybe it's a bridge between our failures and our expectations, helping us move past old wounds.
But maybe it's also just a new kind of hurt.

People will never value me on what I value myself on.
They will value you on collective appraisal or relative value to their existence.
How can I benefit them?

That is the human experience.

What word can be used to sum up my collective experience as a person of color in a nation quietly divided by race that would reach everyone ?
Such a word could end this cold war of bigotry and classism.
Does such a word exist in the human vernacular?
Doubtful...words need commonality and joined experience.
Racism and systemic oppression are designed to affect only a percentage, not the whole.
So how could we possibly explain ourselves and generate the empathy necessary for support, when the words don't exist to properly elucidate our experience ?🙄🤔

What must it feel like to have an army of trained killers protecting you?
The US sleeps well at night because of our military.
Cheers to our servicemen.

I imagine white America sleeps well at night knowing the police 🚔 are out there waging war on anyone who doesn't look like them. 🤔

I watch the world forget justice everyday,
until a reminder lands squarely in our face.
We're unfortunately a little punch drunk at this time.
So It's harder for injustice to register.
The jabs have done their work,
now it takes a solid hook or deadly uppercut.
🥴🥴🥴🤡

I'd rather have half a unique thought, than a whole one that belonged to someone else.

The assumption is that everyone wants to be famous, to be popular.
I mean, why wouldn't they...right?💩🤐🤥
Everyone who is popular and famous, must be happy!

Brevity is cheap on the short,
but costly to the "long" of things.
A moment now, is worth 10 later.
But only if one has a wealth of time to spend.