Non Literal Warts and All

A range of pics as the team beckie set ups changed a little

I've lost almost all of the 3 stone gained...so now need lose the original lot again!

Ocho sadly was put to sleep last year. And do the family wS joined by two young dogs.

Initially on Foster but since adopted. Meet nu (white) and Sky (tri) x

https://www.facebook.com/113382107090132/posts/475308880897451/

My recent update x

I can’t sleep tonight, I’ve a conversation taking place in my head.

It’s about colour.

Something needs more colour.

What needs more colour? I have no idea. But my brain has jumped into action due to the bright idea that “something” needs more colour.

I’ve found such distractions are linked to my bipolar disorder.

See I started this blog yonks ago, it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time – it always does. To jot down my weight loss journey.

I’d planned on including bits about my mental health journey too, as I’d recently had a diagnosis of PTSD. But despite my plan I never really got round to either. See that’s another thing linked to my bipolar – my many great plans, the majority of which go incomplete.

See last month I finally got diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder, it’s been a journey of years – even decades - where I scarely visited a very dark period and attempted to simply end everything, thankfully not succeed.

More recently I experienced the thoughts again, but rather than acting upon, a very good friend of mine convinced me to contact the local crisis team. Which is what led to my ultimate diagnosis.

Anyway, back to this blog… See here on I’m going to re attempt to blog my journey. I wont promise on frequency of blogs, but I will aim for at least monthly, maybe even fortnightly.
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My reason for blogging being to raise awareness of the condition, and other ones, and to encourage people to either speak out and seek help; or to consider how they could help those who may be stuck in a rut.



I know I’ve not written loads here, but I’m hoping it sets the scene a little, please do feel free to comment, ask questions etc, but no “oh I’m sorry” ones 😊

I want this to be a productive firsthand blog. One which can help others.

For now I’m heading back to try sleep – I’ve found light music helps so let’s hope tonight it does, because I am still none the wiser on what needs more colour!!!!

Beckie x

Yet more lovely walks and did over 10k today, it was the perfect weather for it too at 7.00am...
Yep we really were out that early on a Sunday

What, just what, have I done now I ask myself?

Because ensuring I'm doing my 5000 steps a day isnt far enough away from the Beckie I was a mere two weeks ago when it comes to exercise...

I've now agreed - yes as in I could have declined -to do the 25 push ups a day challenge to raise awareness of stress anxiety and su***de. Just awaiting my tag later today.

When I told Jonny, "I just did a test drive and managed 25 womens ones although really struggled on the last three, but hey it has to get easier"
And also added "plus I have agreed to it now so no going back"
His response was "you are sounding like me Beckie"...I'm yet to decide if that is a good or bad thing 🙈🤔😂

Strangely despite the crazy contracts I've signed upto of late I am actually feeling rather happy and energised.

Today I was out walking the dog, listening to Tina Turner on the headset, whilst singing out loud when I felt the urge to skip... yes you did read right.

So, despite being in total view of local houses, I merrily began skipping up the path that runs between the grassy verges of a hill. Realising how much I was just letting go and allowing the child inside me have fun, I confess I continued infact the skips became even bouncier.

It's fair to say weightloss or no weightloss I am very much in a happy place at present.

Think the dog is too going off these pics when we got back home x

I had "the talk" from Jonny this week, about my disheartenment after doing the (not very discreet) mid week(ok perhaps almost daily) weigh ins - A reminder that I'm walking around 7.5k a day, and my weight may initially fluctuate etc etc, blah blah blah.

Anyone who's been there can probably admit to knowing he is 100% right, but the brain still refuses to have any of it - I mean what if hes wrong, what if I do all this and theres no improvement? Worse still what if I gain?

I'm fat, I'm always going to be fat, why cant I just wake up and have lost the weight, why does it take so long to go, why is my body so stubborn it wants to do it's own thing. You name it, the thoughts have been there.

But I never thought I would say it, the walks have been my rational time providing thinking and reflection time away from everything. Actually having a sense of enjoyment and achievement. A reminder that it's not just about the scales (ok and perhaps that Jonny is right...don't let him see I said that though as he will gloat... and gloat... and gloat..
You get the picture...

So this week when them thoughts start plaguing my mind, I will just take myself on a wee toddle...well unless it's an unearthly hour; or chucking it down; or I'm too tired; or.... I guess it's about being all round rational 😂

Anyone wanting to see if I did actually lose in the end visit my weekly check in event.

Until my next rambles take good care, and here's a wee pic of me and my support crew x

Just done walk number two of the day.

I'm averaging around 7500 steps a day at present which considering I probably did less than 500 most days I'm happy with.

I'm also very grateful to my team dab's team mates -.

Davinia - who is averaging 8000 steps a day
And Amanda- a whopping 14000 a day

Well done ladies :) x

On this evenings walk we even spotted a heron doing some fishing.

Wk 2 of Sunday selfies
Over 30000 steps completed since 01/07/2020
Enjoyed seeing all the babies around Kings Mill res today

What must I have looked like earlier..

Other half is in Aldi and I am walking the dog up and down the carpark just to bag some more steps.

This tracking lark is actually a tad addictive.

I have logged an average of 7500 steps a day so far (my aim was 5000), and i have also missed tracking those around the house as the new ped was rather useless, and I forget to carry the mobile about with me.

The dog was initially baffled at me getting up early to take him out. But hes soon got into the routine... 6.30am in the Saturday he was giving me an expectant look.

I must be becoming a familiar face on the morning dog walk scene as I actually got greeted with a "secret dog walkers wave" today.
I was so excited to tell Jonny when we got home- it's all a huge novelty to me at present evidentally.

I am loving just seeing the beauty around me. I have my head set with music. My dog by my side. It's rather relaxing I'm finding x

Last night I was choosing a pedometer ready for my 3 month challenge.

I've gone for one that also doubles as an mp3 player.

I didnt want a wrist one as fit bands and smart watches totally drain my phone battery.

I like to leave my watch on of a night so having to regularly charge it is an off putter... course it has taken me having bought several over the years to reach this decision.

So I'm there picked my choice and selecting my Amazon delivery slot, when it hit me. July starts on Wednesday - how is that possible- when I signed up for the challenge it felt like it was weeks away -how wrong was I wednesday i have to start logging.

And so i decided today needed urgent action, a practice walk around Pleasley, I mean what if my body has been so under used it had ceased up?

Thankfully not, so here we have Pleasley Pit, plus "selfie sunday"- my excuse to capture a pic with the other half because it will show my progress - it will make the pain of exercise that bit more worthwhile :)

Do you ever think the internet reads your mind?

I mean I know I mentioned weightloss, and diabetes, but that's not really all that unusual for me.

Yet today when I need it most - something to keep me motivated - diabetes UK advertise the one million step challenge.

I confess I first thought an average10000 steps a day for three months would be straight forward...until I saw the Q&A and realised this equated to 10k a day.

Weekends...maybe...week days not a chance, and i dont fancy having to make up the extra 25k at weekend aswell as doing the actual 20k.

So I was pleased to find they have a novices level, for those starting out.

An average of 5000 steps a day, works out around 5k, so what the heck I thought and have signed up.

I keep thinking of redoing couch to 5k, and well in a way these could go hand in hand.

Anyone mad enough to join me in the challenge? Or feel the urge to sponsor me? Theres no pressure but the links here if you would like to x

https://step.diabetes.org.uk/pages/beckie-2

Support Beckie in the One Million Step Challenge I am taking part in the One Million Step Challenge to support people affected by diabetes.Please support me by making a donation to my fundraising page.

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for joining me on what I'm sure will be a turbulent journey.

It's not just about the weight, it's about everything life wise really.

So I'm certain there will be bits everyone can relate to in one way or another. So hopefully we can share some chuckles along the way..

Later this week I wi be really getting this blog started. You are more than welcome to interact, and don't forget the community tab if you think of anything worth sharing.

If anyone would like to join me in the weekly weigh ins then you can find them on the events tab.

Simply (she says whilst still finding her way around) select the tab, and then the interested bit, and change it to going.

Each session is open for 7 days,so that you can chose your own weigh in day.

Once in the event you will see a discussion bit - that's where you will find my weigh in details and thoughts.

You are more than welcome to add your own weight or progress report (I know sharing actual weights can be somewhat daunting). To do so either start a new discussion in the event, or comment on mine.

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