Dr.Good Vibes

Inner child doesn’t mean you are a child inside. Yes, we do have a child like sub personality within all of us. But when we refer to the inner child, it means more than that.
It addresses to the part of you which is the subconscious mind. The inner child has your repressed/ suppressed memories and emotions.
It has downloaded concepts and beliefs from it’s surroundings and experiences even before the development of a conscious awareness.
Which means our inner child has a lot of our autopilot responses. The inner child is also the one with unmet needs and desires. The ones which were not met in the childhood.
These unmet needs and repressed emotions due to them often come up in our lives in unhealthy manners.
It may come out in disproportionate and irrational ways in moments which may be triggers of the inner Childs wounds.
This is one of the reasons it’s important fo us to understand our inner child. It’s also so that we can liberate the inner child and the potential it carries.
Very often, the society and system around us leads to prisoning the inner child and thereby it’s authenticity, creativity and potential.
In this process, of imprisoning our inner child we tend to lose connection with it. We don’t see, hear or understand it. Making us neglect a very important part of us.
It is our responsibility now, to understand this part of us and help it with our choice of being than what was taught to us. Which can only be done, once you connect with the inner child with compassion.

The above post is just a few statements that may help you connect with your inner child and bond. Cause that is what the inner child has been waiting for all along. Somebody to hear it, see it and accept it with all the love you have. Unconditionally.

Something to think about. 💗✨
We all need to ring about change by willing to change yourself.

Acceptance of this will take us as humankind a long way. Fellow lovely ones, be willing to change cause that’s the only way we will grow.

There is various reasons I am putting up this post. I chose this picture for a reason. I am aware of the beliefs and opinions that come up with this image due to our conditioning. But that exactly is what I am trying to break free from. The ‘good girl’ conditioning in me, which somewhere still exists.
Yes, even now whilst I am putting this post up I have a voice in me saying “Are you sure?” Followed by a series of ‘what ifs’. Despite my awareness of this conditioning.
That’s how deep our conditioning is. Any action outside this conditioned behaviour is often followed by guilt or fear.

Thereby, I choose to break free from it everyday. I choose to bring my authentic self out there as much as I can in my capacity.

Me choosing to put this post up today, is also a way of showing freedom to me. Telling myself it’s ok to be me. Telling myself, that I am always going to be there for me.

I wish to live my life by example. I choose to show the world what I advocate. Cause honestly that’s one bit that I can truly do. This post is me trying to show all the girls out there, that I know how it feels, and I also know how it feels when you break free.
If even one girl, by seeing this post feels inspired to break free from their ‘good girl’ conditioning and choose themselves even in the smallest way possible (It doesn’t have to be the same way as I have. But a small step towards choosing yourself is what I intend here. ) My purpose here is served. :)

P.S. - The last slide is responses from my lovely community here on this page, when I asked them what they were taught about ‘being a good girl’.
Some amazing insights!

Therapy is life changing! I speak from my experience and not just because I am a professional in this field.

I remember the first time I even considered it was from a space of curiosity and not from a space of realising that I need it. It’s when I got into therapy that I realised that my god, I definitely need it!
I went in with my ego assumption that oh I know who I am and why I am the way I am. I went from a space of blaming my circumstances for who I am. Not realising that I had somehow accepted this with less space for responsibility. I was trying to escape from all that has been and all that has caused me pain cause I didn’t know how to deal with it.
I had accepted my unconscious conditioning with helplessness.

Therapy definitely changed that for me. It made me realise that I do have a choice. It made me realise that I can learn to deal with my pain. It showed me a path that I was always seeking. It showed me that I can be in charge of myself, despite whatever happens around me.
The power of choice is what I learnt. The autonomy that you gain from this is what therapy shows you and teaches you.

I knew a lot of stuff theoretically ofcourse (being a curious psychology nerd). But through therapy is where I saw it clearer in me and was able to help myself through it all.
Trust me, I am still learning about myself everyday. It’s not always easy. I have to say this.
But something I have experienced is, beyond that slight discomfort is the life you choose and want for yourself. And it’s worth it!

It’s all about being the companion to yourself, who is always there for you through your thick and thin and always rooting for you. It’s about seeing your beauty in all of it. It’s about being your own light. It’s about giving yourself that space to be!! It’s about giving yourself all that you deserve. And what I mean by that is, that you deserve your unconditional love and acceptance!
Yes, this is what gives you a sense of belonging within you. This gives us that security which we have been (evolutionarily) seeking all along.
Helping one to be at peace with themselves.

P.S. If you have doubts, why don’t you try it to know it? (Just like I did 😄)

Yoga is a teacher!
This is for all the yoga practitioners and non-practitioners.
To one of the most beautiful practices that I have inculcated into my life.

All you lovely ones who have experienced the following learning s or even more, feel free to share in the comments section!

For the non-practitioners, here are just a few reasons to start. There is much more that Yoga teaches you, some can be put in words, some can’t.

The only way to know and inculcate it, is by experience.

Happy Yoga day to all! :)

We all have let our guards down at some time/ somewhere/ with someone. We all know the feeling. We all have questioned it as well. Why we did or did not let our guard down?
Why does this guard exist? Like every guard, it’s there to protect. The guard also know as the Ego is a protective mechanism developed at a particular time in life, through an experience which caused pain to the inner child. Built to protect you from this pain in the future.
Repetitive experience of the same pain, the guard tends to get stronger and stronger. Eg. If one has a history of experiencing painful failed romantic relationships. The guard becomes stronger with each one. Maybe leading to not allowing the inner child to come out at all. What tis doing is preventing the inner child from feeling the pain. Mainly because it doesn't know how to deal with it. Also, because we ain't taught to process our pain & learn from it.

So when you say, I let my guard down.It means that both the guard and inner child believed it to be a safe space for it to come out & be. Very often people blame themselves for this, specifically when they get hurt again in this trusted space. It's fair to feel all the emotions of course. Blaming doesn't help though. What we need to understand is that there is nothing wrong in letting your guard down once in a while, for the inner child to get what it wants.Cause it is the need of the child. But you must be aware when have let a wounded inner child out that it has not learnt to deal with the pain yet. This is a child who has not completely emotionally developed, as it was never taught to deal with the pain. It was rather taught to avoid it. Therefore does not have better knowledge or awareness.

So my lovely ones, Although when you do let your guards down, do this with awareness and responsibility of teaching the inner child of dealing with the pain, rather than shutting it in when it gets hurt. The mind registers this each time you don't know to deal with the pain, because it is an insecure feeling.This leads to the Ego becoming over protective with each time and leading to not let the inner child come out at all, depriving it of its needs.Which leads to an (contd..)

This is a heartfelt post for all.
I have been here where I felt not understood and seen. Where i have felt what am I even fighting for. Felt guilty for goinga against my parents. Felt guilty for not following what was expected of me as a 'good girl'. Felt alone in this fight.
Felt tired in this fight. Felt like surrendering to it.

But my true self never let me. That voice inside me was always there telling me to keep going. And i kept listening. Even though i did feel bad for going against people who took care of me.

But with time, it began to make sense to me. It began to make sense to me what i was fighting for.
I realised that that my fight was not just for me, but it was also for my parents and loved ones who are trapped in the system.

I only recently realised that my fight was for my parents too. Cause of how the system had chained them that they couldn't see themselves or others. It had deprived them of a free and happy life.

With time, I started seeing the reason behind how they are. This just made me realise that my fight is worth fighting for.

These chains need to break. We need to free ourselves and help others free themselves too.
Ever since, i have been fighting the fight.
Cause I know fight for a bigger cause.

Hence, all you brave ones out there. If ever you question your fight.
Know this that you are fighting for a bigger cause. For a better world.
Appreciate your courage and keep standing there by yourself through the thick and thins.
Love yourself through it all.
Love and compassion goes a long way.

Yes, in a world where everyone is pressured to be ok at all times. Admitting that you are not ok can get real tough. But at the same time, when you it is quite liberating. It opens up space for finally addressing what is troubling you and helping yourself through it, rather than ingoring it or beating yourself up for it.

Many of us are often scared of being vulnerable, as it taught to us as something very weak or shameful. But the truth is, it requires a lot of strength to do so and is also a space of emotional freedom.

Yes, allowing yourself to feel as you feel, is a point of liberation truly.
If you don't know allow yourself to feel, how will you know and help yourself.

So yes, at times it's alright to let yourself feel as you are and accept it. It helps you have a release of emotions which you have been holiding onto for long.
And sometimes feeling it and letting it out is the only way of helping yourself through it.

We all are always running after something or the other in life. But have you ever really paused to think what are you really running after and why?
We all have been chasing one mark of external validation after another, but what for?
Cause achieving these marks of external validations have been taught to us as the only way of feeling enough / loved/ accepted.
This ain't true. You decide your worth. You are enough the way you really are.
What matters most is you accept you.

But this condiotioned chase is in all of us. The questions is, is it worth what one puts themselves through? Are you putting your mental health a priority through all of this?
What it eventually does is deprive us from living.
It confuses us in our minds as to what we really want and what we should want.
Therefore, not allowing us to really live a content life.

So, if you are in this chase. It is time you think about it and what it is doing to you.

Nature has always been one of my favourite and efficient teachers. Every time i have spent time in nature, i have learnt something new. This time was no different.
The learnings come from the experiences I have in nature.
Ever since, i came back from my break (a hight altitude trek), i have been feeling different. I knew yet agin, there has been some shift in me.
I knew yet again, nature has taught me something.
Very often we overlook this experience because we can't put words to it.
I on the other hand, normally tend to get pulled into it.

Ever since i am back, i have found it difficult to come back to this social media world. I have been finding it meaningless. And i kept wondering what made this happen.
So i did, what i always do.I journaled about it to give myself some clarity and understanding.

When i tried to put words to my experince is when i realised what nature had taught me.
It had made my ego crumble and made me realise of something much bigger. It made me experience something that i may have already known. But the impact of this experience surely pivoted a shift in me.
And now that I had a glimpse of it, I see everthing else differently from what I used to before.

This doesn't mean that I won't be posting on social media or doing things that i want to do, cause i do want to share my knowledge with you beautiful ones. Cause that is my contribution to this collective space called earth.

But yes, my posting on social media will now have a diferent meaning to it. I am still trying to figure out how to implement this new knowledge i have.
I have found a new meaning and i wish to live by it.
This surely give me more peace and harmony.

Love is not just one thing. It's many things. But most importantly it is not suppose to be binding or limiting. Love is an experience. It is the most liberating and growing experience.
Love lets you be. Love lets you be free. Love is love.

Your health matters too! Thank you for all that you are doing, but please do take care of yourself.
This pandemic has hit everyone hard. But i feel the frontline workers are the ones that have been dealing with it the most day and night.
Yes, it is their job. But it was not expected to be difficult to such an extent.

I see a lot of people saying, that they are expected to deal with this situations. Let me tell you something, no one was ready fot this situations. Not even frontline workers.
It is the most unpredictable and difficult time, the world has ever seen.
And any amount of training can't prepare you for this.

So my fellow frontline workers, please don't be harsh on yourself.
You are doing the best you can. You are doing an amazing job.
Please don't forget to appreciate yourself.

You'll are the reason, the world is continuing to survive through this pandemic.
Thank you again, for all that you are doing.

But please don't get so burdened that you forget to take care of your own health.
Your health is important too.
Without that you can't take care of anyone else.

Love & gratitude,
A fellow frontline worker

Going live tomorrow with to talk about dealing with grief. Sadly, that is the need of the hour.
We all need to talk about it, to help people dealing with it feel validated and help process their emotions in some way.
We are all in this together. ❤️

This is something important to think about & reflect. Something we often neglect.
Our relationship with ourself is th foundation of our emotional well being. I believe a healthy relationship with self is what gets one through all, thick and thin.

Here is a little bit about it. Cause you know awareness is the first step to development.

With all that has been going on, working from home has become very difficult for each and every one of us. So here are some tips to help ourselves through this.

I have been having so many individuals telling me how they find it difficult to concentrate, find it difficult to feel motivated & productive. This is all natural in this situtation that we are in. Don't pressurise yourself to be ok.
Be kind & patient with yourself& help yourself through with healthy coping mehanisms.

SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS
This is important. In my experience with working with indiviuals, i have seen so many cases of sexual assault. And the sad part is most often it comes up only after a couple of sessions.
Atleast 1 out of 3 women in my experience have share experiences of sexual assault with me. And yes, it does affect one's concept of self & identity. It affects one self esteem & confidence. It affects one's mental health & hence their mental health.
And yet, it is something people shush about and find diffilcult to talk about.

We need to create a safe space for people to come and talk a out it. To seek help for it.
Also, to help people understand how it affect one's life.
Awareness is the beginning of everything.

Please share this, so that it may help someone who has not been able to speak about it, can come up & speak up about it...

Emotional abuse is abuse. Emotional/ Psychological abuse is one of the most overlooked abuse. How often have you heard 'He hasn't hit you.So what's wrong?'

Here is some knowledge about it. Yes,this is real.
Emotional abuse cases are as traumatic as physical abuse.
An individual loses their sense of self & identity
If you/ anyone you know is going through this, provide help.
No one should feel resposible for such abuse. It isn't their fault.

Spread awareness, so signs of emotional abuse can be picked up at early stages & action taken accordingly. Before it gets severe, to a stage of codependency.

We all have at times tolerated toxicity & normalised it in various spaces, without being aware of it's effect on you. Here is something that will put some light on the signs of a toxic relationship. What causes one to stay/attract one & what can you do about this?
If you are in a toxic relationship or no someone in one. Spread this awareness & take action.
Priotise your mental health!
You are important!

SWIPE & READ: For all those who want to start/ curious about journaling. This is a must!
Journaling has definitely changed my life & has alwasy been something that i can rely on.
An act that has always helped me through the toughest of times.
It is quite a liberating process.

Read this & give it a try. Have given you a few propmts you can use to start with.
I gurantee, this practice will change you life!

I remember when i was a teenager & had a lot of emotional breakdowns. Had a lot to say. Loads of emotions, collecting in me. It wouldn't let me function.
That's when a dear friend of mine (he was older to me) told me try writing it out, to help myself let it out somewhere.
And that changed everything for me. It gave me a space to emote. A space to be me. A space where i could allow myself to say anything.
A free space for me!

Ever since, i always advocate journaling!
It is quite liberating to have that space for yourself.
And when your future self will look back at these logs someday, it wll see how long you have come & be very proud of you! :)

Journaling is a space for you, to be you. It is a step towards increased awareness & liberation!
Try it, to know it. :)

Codependeny is very common. Often, because of the conditioning we have been through.
Here are few checks you can do with yourself. Understand where this might have developed from & help yourself to unlearn this & relearn new patters of relationships.

A Codependent nature leads to complete lack of self image & self.
The focus is always external, leading to no awareness of what's going on internally.
This negelct of the true self, leads to a very unhappy space.
Unhappy relationship with self & hence affecting your mental health.

Understand, that what's most important is to know yourself & be there for yourself. The relationship with youself is what keeps you goin & helps you through it all.
It is the foundation of your well being.
Do not neglect it.
Prioritise yourself & learn to take care of yourself.
If you find it difficult to let go of theold patterns, you can always seek help.
Trust me, it would be worth it!

Yes. It's absolutely alright to say it out loud. We need to normalise this!
It all starts with you, me and everyone!
Nope, no one has all good days!
We all have bad days, weeks or even years. And that is part of life. It's the reality. So let's not hide it and speak up about it.
So that it encourages everyone to talk about it and creater safer environment around us to communicate. No one needs to put on a brave face!
No one needs to hide themselves and get lost in it.

This way, we can be there for each other more and know when one needs help.
Communicate! Speak up. It's important!

Yes. Some truths in life are not so easy to digest.
But these truths of life, will help you evolve & grow.

It will free you from the prison in your mind.
Our ego self, is the one which inhibits us from addressing these truths.
Cause to the ego, the prisoned mind is familiar. And the unfamiliar the ego doesn't want to address. Hence, the discomfort.

But the moment you realise this & work from this space of awareness.
There is a whole new space you open up within you.

Happy Women's Days! 😊
Yes, everyday is your day.
In this world where unfortunately women are still told what to do & what not to do.
Taught to be a particular way, even if it's not what they want. Living their lives in misery, suppression & repression!
With no voice. Which affects them both mentally & physically.

What we need the most is to free their minds!
Free them from what they have been taught, which has become a belief and has been going down generations.
So that they can choose to be themselves. Raise their voices.

Encourage a free world.
Where women can be who they want to be and can choose to do that everyday.
Without having prohibitions or inhibitions.

Choose yourself everyday.
Make every day, your day! ❤️

Yes. Mental health and physical health interdependant.
Physical exercise has got more than one benefits in improving your mental health.
And it absolutely must be a part of everyone's day.

It need not be something extensive. It is not about losing/ gaining weight/ looking a particular way.
It's about makng it a part of your lifestyle. It's about self care!
Something like an even a walk/ dancing in your room also count as physical exercise.

Here are some reasons you should consider making it part of your life.
Cause your body & mind is one. And both are equally important!
Taking care of it, is part of self care.

Self talk is important,darling.
Be aware of the way you talk to yourself. It is the foundation of your relationship.

Very often, the enemy of your growth and progress is you.
Be conscious about the way you treat yourself and take the efforts to change it.

Sometimes all you need is some words of encouragement and love from someone.
That someone can be you, too.
Yes love, you.

Yes. We try to fill this void inside of us with various thing.

But what it had been really waiting for all its life is love and acceptance from you.
Assurance from you, that you will be there for yourself.

It is only then, when you realise the importance of self love and acceptance.
The reason you felt so incomplete.
The reasons you felt a void.
What you have been waiting for all your life, is you!
So choose to love & accept yourself, unconditionally.
&acceptyourself