Twin Rivers Press

Short story collections by Dale Andrew White ... FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers!
“FANTASY, WHIMSY, SATIRE AND A FEVERED IMAGINATION”
Critics praise Dale Andrew White’s
MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS
https://amzn.to/3lus1ky
Nominated for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor
FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEWS:
“'Moe Howard Died For Our Sins' is a collection of humorous short stories that are, at some points, irreverently provocative and at other times just plain guffaw-able, but always a superb display of White’s fine writing style and seriously slanted sense of humor.”
BOOKREVIEW.COM:
“Dale Andrew White is a devious writer and his new collection, 'Moe Howard Died For Our Sins,' provides incriminating evidence of this. On the one hand, the flavor of his tales faintly evokes that decayed antebellum style of Southern literature that is both lyrically humorous and self-deprecating; the sort of thing we get in Faulkner's Sartoris or Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn... On the other hand, this not the satire of Ambrose Bierce or H. L. Mencken. It is more like the kind of in-your-face semantic slapstick that you might expect of a George Carlin or a Lenny Bruce... To open this collection is to invite trouble - and probably enjoy it.”
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW:
“Part-time iconoclast and two-fingered typist Dale Andrew White is a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty. Subtitled ‘made-to-fit tales for the maladjusted,’ this collection of short stories showcase a genuine and offbeat talent... Highly recommended reading!”
***
“IN-YOUR-FACE HUMOR WORTHY OF COMEDY CENTRAL”
Critics praise Dale Andrew White’s
RETURN OF THE DITTOS
https://amzn.to/3fsZ70E
Nominated for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor
READERVIEWS.COM:
“'Return of the Dittos' is a rich confection of satire and humor, all boxed in 20 short stories and tied with a ribbon... Some of his stories come across as being written in the classic style of humorists like Mark Twain or the British satirist Saki... Still others come across with raw, in-your-face humor worthy of Comedy Central. All I know is that Dale Andrew White is a clever and talented writer and 'Return of the Dittos' is a truly funny book.”
BOOKREVIEW.COM:
“White has a wonderful talent for engaging the unexpected, and his quick turns are wild and fun... 'Return of the Dittos' strikes a balance between contemporary and fine aged humor that can't be found anywhere else and is refreshing as it is funny.”
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER:
“Whether writing about the end of the world, terrorist swans, entering the after-life or high school journalism, White entertains with clever asides, obvious (and some not-so-obvious) puns, and cultural and societal pokes. His stories combine satire, slapstick, innuendo and outright silliness. All of it is punctuated with interesting, quirky characters.”
FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEW:
“If you have the type of humor that appreciates the bizarre and offbeat, and count me in, then you will enjoy 'Return of the Dittos' by Dale Andrew White. White's eccentric and quirky sense of humor is evidenced throughout the book, taking the reader through twists and turns, delights and mishaps in this collection of short stories.”
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW:
“Short story anthologies often bring a variety and freshness that novels can't quite match. 'Return of the Dittos and Other Stories' is a new collection of stories from acclaimed short fiction author Dale Andrew White. A unique assortment of stories, each as entertaining as the last, 'Return of the Dittos' is a collection that short fiction lovers must get.”
***
STUFF & NONSENSE
https://amzn.to/3FCJYoa
Dale Andrew White returns with a fresh collection of outlandishly humorous short stories and other delights. Find out for yourself why MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW calls White "a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty."

NuTH0uSE Magazine Treatment 131 (Spring-Summer 2023) is now available! Featuring "A Visit to Mayberry,' the mad ravings of David Brinn Silly, Joel Moorhead, Jay M. Herskowitz and Chief of Staph Ludwig von Qurik and Part 2 of "A Presidential Fable," a tale about a real estate tycoon turned egomaniacal candidate. $1.50 payable to Twin Rivers Press, PO Box 119, Ellenton, FL 34222. Florida residents, add 9 cents sales tax. Enjoy your stay!

FREE on Amazon Kindle Jan9-13 - "Double Occupancy" - humorous short story from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS https://amzn.to/3u95t9P

FREE on Amazon Kindle 1/5-9/23 - "Babes in Arms" a short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS - https://amzn.to/3cHrTcn

FREE on Amazon Kindle - 12/27-31 - TO THE MANOR ADMITTED - hilarious short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated RETURN OF THE DITTOS - https://amzn.to/3kvPfq2

FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers!
THE LIFE AND HARD TIMES OF BO DIDDLEY - an interview with rock 'n' roll's "Originator." Plus: LITTLE RICHARD GROWS UP - an account of the rock star's venture into evangelism
https://amzn.to/3BV942b

FREE DOWNLOAD on Amazon Kindle Nov. 8-12.
From the author of RETURN OF THE DITTOS and STUFF & NONSENSE, a short story collection by Dale Andrew White nominated for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor...
“FANTASY, WHIMSY, SATIRE AND A FEVERED IMAGINATION”
Critics praise Dale Andrew White’s
MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS
https://amzn.to/3lus1ky
FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEWS:
“'Moe Howard Died for Our Sins' is a collection of humorous short stories that are, at some points, irreverently provocative and at other times just plain guffaw-able, but always a superb display of White’s fine writing style and seriously slanted sense of humor.”
BOOKREVIEW.COM:
“Dale Andrew White is a devious writer and his new collection, 'Moe Howard Died for Our Sins,' provides incriminating evidence of this. On the one hand, the flavor of his tales faintly evokes that decayed antebellum style of Southern literature that is both lyrically humorous and self-deprecating; the sort of thing we get in Faulkner's Sartoris or Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn... On the other hand, this not the satire of Ambrose Bierce or H. L. Mencken. It is more like the kind of in-your-face semantic slapstick that you might expect of a George Carlin or a Lenny Bruce... To open this collection is to invite trouble - and probably enjoy it.”
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW:
“Part-time iconoclast and two-fingered typist Dale Andrew White is a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty. Subtitled ‘made-to-fit tales for the maladjusted,’ this collection of short stories showcase a genuine and offbeat talent... Highly recommended reading!”

Moe Howard Died For Our Sins READ THE BOOK. SHARE THE FAITH. PASS THE SELTZER. With humor as twisted as its stories' plots, "Moe Howard Died For Our Sins" takes readers on a rollicking, hilarious ride. Go to Hell - and see it as a tourist. Get lured into a pie-throwing cult. Peek backstage at the Second Coming. Enc...

FREE on Amazon Kindle Nov.4-8: THE QUEENS OF SWAMPWATER and DISAPPEARING ACT, short stories from Thurber Prize-nominated RETURN OF THE DITTOS
https://amzn.to/3UrgReT

FREE admission on Kindle Oct. 31, 2022 - NuTH0uSe Magazine Halloween Party - Join the inmates and out-patients of your favorite humor zine, NuTH0uSe, for such tricks and treats as: chilling interviews with macabre cartoonist Gahan Wilson and crime novelist and journalist Edna Buchanan, bizarre storytelling by Dale Andrew White, party chat with veteran movie monsters, an enlightening conversation with Alfred Hitchcock expert Patricio Lopez-Guzman about the fun side of cinema's Master of Suspense and a revival of Hitchcock's 1919 short story "Gas" - http://amzn.to/2pOWOZN
(Twitter: )

FREE on Amazon Kindle 10/28-11/1- LUNACY GROUNDED hilarious short story excerpted from Thurber Prize-nominated MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS -
http://amzn.to/2ae7f11

FREE on Amazon Kindle 10/4-8 - a hilarious story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS... THE BATTLE OF FLORENCE TUCKER - Every year, attendance at Mosquito County’s Confederate Memorial Day service sheds a few more people. At times such as these, moments before she must speak for the dead, Florence Tucker becomes a desperate woman. https://amzn.to/2UNxyo7

FREE on Amazon Kindle 9/25-29 PRINCIPAL KNUCKELL MEETS THE PRESS - hilarious short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection RETURN OF THE DITTOS - https://amzn.to/3AzXAyB
ReaderViews.com: "raw, in-your-face humor worthy of Comedy Central"

TALES OF OLD FLORIDA
An Amazon Kindle ebook anthology featuring "A Pilgrimage to Cross Creek," "Frederick Delius: Music with the Imprint of Florida," "The Pride of Oklawaha" (interview with musician-storyteller Gamble Rogers) and "The Last Testament of Zephaniah Kingsley" at
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004LX0IF4
FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers!

FREE on Amazon Kindle Sept. 15-19

MARLOWE VERSUS SHAKESPEARE: WRONGFUL DEATH AND DOUBLE IDENTITY
Murder. Deceit. Fraud. Espionage. Brace yourself for a cloak-and-dagger mystery like no other as Calvin Hoffman, author of “The Murder of the Man Who Was Shakespeare,” explains his theory that Christopher Marlowe was the true author of the works attributed to the Bard from Stratford. Has he exposed the greatest literary hoax of all time? Read the evidence. You decide.
https://amzn.to/2vTrtgu

FREE on Amazon Kindle Aug. 29-Sept. 2
From the author of "Moe Howard Died For Our Sins" and "Stuff & Nonsense":
RETURN OF THE DITTOS
by Dale Andrew White
Nominated for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor
ReaderViews.com: "raw, in-your-face humor worthy of Comedy Central"
BookReview.com: "as refreshing as it is funny"
Midwest Book Review: "a unique assortment of stories, each as entertaining as the last"
Seattle Post-Intelligencer: "His stories combine satire, slapstick, innuendo and outright silliness. All of it is punctuated with interesting, quirky characters."
Feathered Quill Book Reviews: "White's eccentric and quirky sense of humor is evidenced throughout the book, taking the reader through twists and turns, delights and mishaps"
https://amzn.to/2Ywnnpm

FREE on Amazon Kindle Aug24-28 - "Double Occupancy" - humorous short story from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS https://amzn.to/3u95t9P

FREE on Amazon Kindle 8/21-25 - "The Queens of Swampwater" - hilarious story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated RETURN OF THE DITTOS https://amzn.to/3bOujFE

FREE on Amazon Kindle 8/15-19 - LUNACY GROUNDED and MRS. REINSMAN RIDES AGAIN - two hilarious stories excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS https://amzn.to/3uFBmHc

FREE on Amazon Kindle Aug10-14 - NuTH0uSe 20th ANNIVERSARY EDITION - excerpts from humor magazine NuTH0uSe - https://amzn.to/3xOGFpH

Short story collections by Dale Andrew White nominated for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor... FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers!
“FANTASY, WHIMSY, SATIRE AND A FEVERED IMAGINATION”
Critics praise Dale Andrew White’s
MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS
https://amzn.to/3lus1ky
FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEWS:
“'Moe Howard Died For Our Sins' is a collection of humorous short stories that are, at some points, irreverently provocative and at other times just plain guffaw-able, but always a superb display of White’s fine writing style and seriously slanted sense of humor.”
BOOKREVIEW.COM:
“Dale Andrew White is a devious writer and his new collection, 'Moe Howard Died For Our Sins,' provides incriminating evidence of this. On the one hand, the flavor of his tales faintly evokes that decayed antebellum style of Southern literature that is both lyrically humorous and self-deprecating; the sort of thing we get in Faulkner's Sartoris or Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn... On the other hand, this not the satire of Ambrose Bierce or H. L. Mencken. It is more like the kind of in-your-face semantic slapstick that you might expect of a George Carlin or a Lenny Bruce... To open this collection is to invite trouble - and probably enjoy it.”
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW:
“Part-time iconoclast and two-fingered typist Dale Andrew White is a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty. Subtitled ‘made-to-fit tales for the maladjusted,’ this collection of short stories showcase a genuine and offbeat talent... Highly recommended reading!”
***
“IN-YOUR-FACE HUMOR WORTHY OF COMEDY CENTRAL”
Critics praise Dale Andrew White’s
RETURN OF THE DITTOS
https://amzn.to/3fsZ70E
READERVIEWS.COM:
“'Return of the Dittos' is a rich confection of satire and humor, all boxed in 20 short stories and tied with a ribbon... Some of his stories come across as being written in the classic style of humorists like Mark Twain or the British satirist Saki... Still others come across with raw, in-your-face humor worthy of Comedy Central. All I know is that Dale Andrew White is a clever and talented writer and 'Return of the Dittos' is a truly funny book.”
BOOKREVIEW.COM:
“White has a wonderful talent for engaging the unexpected, and his quick turns are wild and fun... 'Return of the Dittos' strikes a balance between contemporary and fine aged humor that can't be found anywhere else and is refreshing as it is funny.”
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER:
“Whether writing about the end of the world, terrorist swans, entering the after-life or high school journalism, White entertains with clever asides, obvious (and some not-so-obvious) puns, and cultural and societal pokes. His stories combine satire, slapstick, innuendo and outright silliness. All of it is punctuated with interesting, quirky characters.”
FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEW:
“If you have the type of humor that appreciates the bizarre and offbeat, and count me in, then you will enjoy 'Return of the Dittos' by Dale Andrew White. White's eccentric and quirky sense of humor is evidenced throughout the book, taking the reader through twists and turns, delights and mishaps in this collection of short stories.”
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW:
“Short story anthologies often bring a variety and freshness that novels can't quite match. 'Return of the Dittos and Other Stories' is a new collection of stories from acclaimed short fiction author Dale Andrew White. A unique assortment of stories, each as entertaining as the last, 'Return of the Dittos' is a collection that short fiction lovers must get.”
***
STUFF & NONSENSE
https://amzn.to/3FCJYoa
Dale Andrew White returns with a fresh collection of outlandishly humorous short stories and other delights. Find out for yourself why MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW calls White "a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty."

FREE on Amazon Kindle Aug. 4-8 - "The Twiddlebum Method" hilarious story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS - https://amzn.to/3h4x5K6

FREE on Amazon Kindle Aug1-5 - "Crossed Paths" - hilarious short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection RETURN OF THE DITTOS - https://amzn.to/3j9CXCX

FREE on Amazon Kindle July 29 - Aug. 2 - FEED THE LAWYERS and THE LAST CORONATION - two hilarious stories excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collections MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS and THE RETURN OF THE DITTOS https://amzn.to/2SWYYKu

Feed the Lawyers FEED THE LAWYERS a short story by Dale Andrew White excerpted from the collection "Moe Howard Died For Our Sins" Frequently accosted by vagrant litigators, Americans are becoming overwhelmed by the plight of this nation's growing officeless population. Despite government aid and fundrai...

FREE on Amazon Kindle 7/23-27 - FADE TO BLACK and THE UBIQUITOUS MR. W**D - stories excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection RETURN OF THE DITTOS. ReaderViews.com: "raw, in-your-face humor worthy of Comedy Central" - https://amzn.to/3CJ0br7

FREE on Amazon Kindle July 21-25 - FUNNY STUFF excerpts from the humor magazine NuTH0uSE https://amzn.to/3oToTyr

FREE on Amazon Kindle July 18-22 - "Babes in Arms" a short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS - https://amzn.to/3cHrTcn

DOWNLOAD E-BOOK FOR FREE JULY 11-15: "The Labors of Peon," a short story excerpted from the Thurber Prize-nominated collection "Return of the Dittos" - The beleaguered bagboys of the now second-rate Dixie King grocery store contemplate a revolt on Double Coupon Day that could affect more than customer service. Available as a Kindle ebook at http://amzn.to/2bOjIvD

IN LIEU OF FLOWERS
a short story excerpted from the collection RETURN OF THE DITTOS by Dale Andrew White
The peaceful death of Miss Mona Darner triggered considerable unrest in the new minister at the church she dutifully attended during her exceptionally long life.
Still fresh from the seminary, the Rev. Thaddeus Greene had yet to conduct a funeral. The sudden, yet albeit thoroughly efficient, shutdown of Miss Darner’s heart during her final slumber dictated that Good Shepherd Assembly’s most senior congregant would be the unknowing beneficiary of his first memorial service. Because she outlived all relatives and close friends, the novice pastor realized he would have to make the grim arrangements -- including the writing of a eulogy for a woman who, despite her many decades, evidently led a singularly uneventful life.
Like many freshman clergymen, the Rev. Greene found himself assigned to a small, aging church in a declining inner-city neighborhood. As the church’s membership and revenues declined as well, he accepted his bishop’s instructions that his mission was not to save Good Shepherd Assembly so much as it was to keep it as comfortable as possible until its lights eventually went out for eternity and its earthly remains were sold to cover any lingering debts and final expenses.
Miss Mona Darner knew the failing church and the broken-down neighborhood of Olde East End when they all were young and promising. They had slowly aged and degenerated together.
During a few visits to her cluttered, modest house on Bleeker Street, the Rev. Greene deduced that the spinster seamstress endured a lonely, frugal existence.
She never owned or drove a car; never ventured beyond the furnace-skylined city in which she had been born. She hobbled down crumbling sidewalks and past howling tenements to a corner market where the grocers now chattered in a foreign tongue, carefully counting her coupons and choosing the rations that would last her for the week ahead. She reused teabags and envelopes, read day-old newspapers retrieved from trash bins, washed her out-of-fashion attire in her chipped bathtub. Restaurant menus and cinema tickets were, for her, extravagances she had not touched in years.
Yet she never missed a Sunday worship service or failed to proudly donate a few coins from her tattered change purse when the offering plate passed her.
“You delivered a wonderful sermon today, preacher,” she unfailingly told the Rev. Greene as she left the chapel, her weak eyes sparkling momentarily as she tenderly clasped his hands. “I always get so much out of your stories.”
The communication, he suspected, was probably the only exchange she would have with another person until she saw him the next Sunday and repeated the compliment.
Now, there would be no more Sundays for Miss Mona Darner. And the Rev. Greene would have to deliver a tribute to her that, other than any eavesdropping mice or belfry pigeons, he most likely would be the only creature to ever hear.
Nevertheless, he arranged for the newspaper to publish her brief obituary, for an undertaker to secure her remains in a discounted casket and for the church’s oaken doors to be opened for the funeral he would conduct before she became the final Darner to be buried in her family’s churchyard plot.
As the hour of the service approached, the Rev. Greene sat in his small study and contemplated what he would say about a woman whose name and very existence were surely soon to be erased from every memory on the planet except his own.
“She loved God, lived humbly and did no harm,” he concluded, jotting down his thoughts.
Donning his ministerial robe and stole, he stepped into the sanctuary. What he witnessed there caused him, a man of faith, to experience a moment of true disbelief.
Continued at https://amzn.to/2FzwPBh
FREE on Amazon Kindle May 29-June 2

NEW on Amazon Kindle and FREE to download May23-27 - STUFF & NONSENSE a fresh collection of humor from Dale Andrew White, author of MOE HOWARD DIED FOR OUR SINS and RETURN OF THE DITTOS - https://amzn.to/3FCJYoa
Discover why Midwest Book Review says, "Dale Andrew White is a natural born storyteller with an especial flair for blending fantasy, whimsy, satire and a fevered imagination into original stories that are replete with ribald humor and reader-engaging novelty."

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE MAY 18-22: "Scenic Hell Becomes Vacation Hot Spot," a short story excerpted from the collection "Moe Howard Died For Our SIns" - As a result of new diplomatic relations between Heaven and the Nether Regions, Hell opens its gates, for the first time, to celestial tourists. Come on the trip, if you dare. PLUS: "To the Manor Admitted," a short story excerpted from "Return of the DIttos" - Visit historic Cheatham Manor and Gardens and leave with more than cheap souvenirs. Download as an Amazon Kindle ebook at http://amzn.to/2790TIZ