Uturn4Life

Continued from 1/22/24

I’ve been married 3 times, have 1 son and 1 step-daughter (both of who I love dearly). Have 4 grandchildren (3 boys 1 girl, and another on the way that s*x will be determined soon). A great family that I find myself doting on from time to time.
My parents are both deceased and it seems that I have outlived all 3 wives which is an accomplishment seeing all the crud that I’ve put myself through.
Anyway, back to my story; I’m addressing today one of the things that is going one in my life; this one I’m sure many of you will relate to as well…that of LONELINESS.

Loneliness is expressed throughout the Bible, King David spoke of it in his Psalms to the Lord.
Psalm 27:10, When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.
Psalm 34:18, The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Throughout Davids life he had to deal with loneliness because of his being chased by King Saul. David dealt with his loneliness through prayer and praising God who was his deliverer. Upon reading these two verses, I pondered on them and prayed to God for that same sort of deliverance as He afforded David.
Isaiah 43:2 is written in a different era by the prophet Isaiah and he wrote “When you pass through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you”. In reflecting on this verse I find that the fire in me the Isaiah writes of is my sense of deep loneliness and despair, but, God is with me always and it is He that has kept me from burning in the flame; in this I see trust in fact, through my trusting in God for everything in life has become my mainstay.
Zephaniah 3:17 it is written, “The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save, He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
WOW! This is really powerful, when I read these Scriptures over and over, they soothe me, the Word of God is more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced.
My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ said in Matthew 28:20, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of age.” This reaffirms to me Gods promises in the Old Testament. Jesus was preparing Himself to be a sacrifice for the sins of mankind, just think of how lonely He must have been hanging on that tree, everyone had deserted Him as He hung on the cross, everyone but the theif hanging next to Him whose finally request was to be remembered by Jesus when He came into His Kingdom…Jesus turned to the theif and assured him that he too would be with Him in Paradise. That promise was made to me as well and I look forward to that day when I will see my Jesus in Heaven.
Jesus is also recorded by the author of Hebrews in chapter 13 verse 5 as saying; “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” This verse reassures me that no matter what I may encounter during my lifetime, that He will always be there to see me through it. He’s on time everytime, just when I need Him most.
Thank you for taking the time to read my innermost thoughts that I share with you today. Tune in tomorrow for the the next installment, when I will share more of my story of healing.
God bless you all my readers.

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Facts!

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Sorry folks that I haven’t posted much in the past year, but this is a New Year 2024 and that’s about to change.
I’ve been dealing with some personal issues that I’m going to share with you over the coming days,weeks, months and years.
The first thing that I want you to realize is that although I am an ordained minister, I too am human, and I suffer from the same issues that all people suffer from:
Guilt
Fear
Worry
Resentment
Jealousy
Anger
Loneliness
Anger
Yes folks, I either have suffered, or am presently suffering from all these problems in my daily life and having spent a large portion of my life with these issues, have decided to Biblically work through these issues, I have learned the “hard” way that I can’t solve or even deal with these issues without God, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, or The Holy Spirit!

I welcome you to share in this journey, comment if you wish, and of course, I covet your prayers.
Thank you for reading and hopefully what I learn and share with you will open our eyes to the fact that ministry workers are human too, and we need your support.

In my almost 75 years of life, for the most part, things have been rough in my life. I had a troubled childhood, that with every new year I became even more troubled.
I began smoking and drinking and lying and stealing very young in life. In my late teens I began using alcohol and drugs to forget my misery. This all “steamrolled” and I was on a downhill spiral. Then I got arrested for selling drugs and found myself in prison for 2 years.
I served 10 months of a 2 year sentence and was released on parole for the balance of the sentence.
I spent the next 14 months living with close friends of my family who helped me to keep on the straight and narrow.

(To be continued)

❤️

7 o’clock in the morning.
My eyes are open,
Brain foggy.
And my heart feels. . .
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲.

Drag myself out of bed,
Rush out the door.
I am ready for work,
But feel so. . .
𝑬𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒚.

The day drags on,
But I made it through.
The drive home is a blur,
My mind is. . .
𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅.

Chores are done,
Time for bed.
Why can’t I sleep?
I think of you, and tears are
𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈.

Soaking my face,
And this stupid pillowcase.
I just need you here,
To tell me it was nothing but a
𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆.

The worst nightmare
There ever was.
I’m screaming now-
Please come back,
𝑴𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆.

2 o’clock in the morning,
The tears have slowed
To a trickle,
And like my heart, my eyes are
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒚.

My silent cries
Gently rock me to sleep,
Where you visit me most.
You are my greatest dream.

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆.

7 o’clock in the morning.
My eyes are open,
Brain foggy.
Reality slaps me,
And again you are
𝑨 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚.

-Jessica VanNeste
Contact: [email protected]

Monday’s 1/23/23 Reading 1 Heb 9:15, 24-28

Christ is mediator of a new covenant:
since a death has taken place
for deliverance from transgressions under the first covenant,
those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance.

For Christ did not enter into a sanctuary made by hands,
a copy of the true one, but heaven itself,
that he might now appear before God on our behalf.
Not that he might offer himself repeatedly,
as the high priest enters each year into the sanctuary
with blood that is not his own;
if that were so, he would have had to suffer repeatedly
from the foundation of the world.
But now once for all he has appeared at the end of the ages
to take away sin by his sacrifice.
Just as it is appointed that human beings die once,
and after this the judgment, so also Christ,
offered once to take away the sins of many,
will appear a second time, not to take away sin
but to bring salvation to those who eagerly await him.

Alleluia See 2 Tm 1:10

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Our Savior Jesus Christ has destroyed death
and brought life to light through the Gospel.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Mk 3:22-30

The scribes who had come from Jerusalem said of Jesus,
"He is possessed by Beelzebul," and
"By the prince of demons he drives out demons."

Summoning them, he began to speak to them in parables,
"How can Satan drive out Satan?
If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.
And if a house is divided against itself,
that house will not be able to stand.
And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided,
he cannot stand;
that is the end of him.
But no one can enter a strong man's house to plunder his property
unless he first ties up the strong man.
Then he can plunder his house.
Amen, I say to you, all sins and all blasphemies
that people utter will be forgiven them.
But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit
will never have forgiveness,
but is guilty of an everlasting sin."
For they had said, "He has an unclean spirit."

https://m.me/j/AbatfanzlCka7IcB/

When you see the sword coming, if you warn them not, their blood will be upon your hands! If you warn them and they refuse to hear, then their blood will not be upon you. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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