A Quiet Mind

As I continue my practice in mindfulness, day-by-day, step-by-step, I look to compassion when I drift (“it’s ok, my love”). And in some moments, I can look to words of inspiration- like these from Mary Oliver:

“Oh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!
What a task
to ask
Of anything, or anyone.
Yet it is ours,
And not by the century or the year, but by the hours…”

Trust in your journey today. Each step is an opportunity. To feel. To learn. To serve. Situations are what they are. How you experience them is up to you.

I aspire to be more uncertain. Certainty feels so stiff. Rigid, even. I have to catch myself. Often. In times when I feel SO sure… what if there’s something I’m missing?

I think one of the most surprising side effects of grief is that along with pain, you might notice a new kind of tenderness toward others. And when someone is unreasonable or irritating, you might find yourself whispering to yourself - “They’re capable of of being stubborn and unkind. Just like me”

Only full hearts break. And when they do, the love that filled your heart is freed. Feel the pain. Release the gift.

Some days can feel heavy. Finding delight lightens things up. It gives us a sense of pure, uncomplicated pleasure. It reminds us we’re alive.

I just had a lovely conversation with a dear old friend who recently lost his wife. They were a few decades older than me, but we have had a connection for the last 30 years. I got off the call and made a promise to remind myself. To be present and appreciative. To maintain a desire for what I already have. Because sometimes you don’t know what you have until you can’t get it back.

There’s no need to be discouraged. You’re not done yet.

Focus on the pockets of light in your life.

Experience may bring torment. But beliefs can hold it inside. Don’t believe everything you think.

It’s amazing how many people become worthy of our admiration and respect when we start looking at them as if they already are.

That person who is driving you crazy… Is it possible that they don’t do it to bother you? Maybe they’re not be feeling happy or safe and aren’t aware that they’ve found a way to express being sad or scared. You know what that can be like….

No matter where you are, quiet is there with you, underneath the sounds. Even inside your mind, there it is, underneath the inner voice. Resting. Allowing everything above it to be there. You can sense it. Anytime you want.

When, out of frustration or anger, we block our natural ability to be compassionate, we feel small, vulnerable, and afraid of things to come. Remember the power of compassion. It’s a way to see solutions where we once saw only problems.

A compassionate mind is a diligent mind.

There is a gap between each of our thoughts. The more we focus on that gap, the wider it gets. The wider it gets, the more clearly we see. Look for the gap.

There’s a whole lot of coming and going happening. To attend to all of it isn’t possible. To select what matters in this very moment is everything.

Fear can’t survive in a quiet mind. Be still.

Even in the quietest of spaces, there are sounds. It may be difficult to listen during the course of a busy day, and it’s easy to think of sounds as “noise”. But in quiet moments, we can practice tuning in to what we hear without responding emotionally to the content. And this we can take back with us into the course of a busy day.

There is great value in spending a few moments each day watching how your mind works. You’ll find that the information we receive through our senses is greatly distracting. It seems we’ve lost the ability to rest our attention very lightly on what we sense; to disengage from the emotional or intellectual content; to stay with our senses instead of spinning off into creative fabrications of the world around us. Staying here allows us to fully live. To appreciate. To become more open and compassionate. Towards those who aren’t able to stay. Yet.

We are 100% responsible for enhancing or diminishing the quality of each moment. We can choose to be swayed by popular opinions and inner dialogue, or we can tap into the inner quality of awareness. It is always here for us. Waiting patiently for us to let it take the reins, shepherding our attention back to what is really happening, guiding us in the direction of what is best for the whole.

When we think something is impossible, we mentally leave, closing a door. But what if we stayed? You know. To think about what the impossible looks like.

It’s a morning of quiet reflection - focusing my attention on the emotional well-being of someone close to me. Join me, if you’d like. Who in your world can use the strength of your energy right now?

Just because we think something is good or bad does not make it good or bad. How could the dozens of thoughts that rush in and out of our heads in any given moment possibly all be true? Yet we believe they are. Silly humans.

Thoughts. Watch them come. Watch them go. Be skeptical.

Despite our best intentions, we tend to get up each morning and repeat the same patterns as every day before. Shifting gears can help us recognize that what we tend to experience- stress, fear, anger, or longing- are fabrications brought on by repetition. It can give us the courage to step off the path that leads to the same view, day after day.

Change your morning routine. Open a window. Grab a different kind of mug. Smile at no one in particular. Rest in appreciation of the miracle of being alive in this body, this community, this world. Just for now.

Our perceptions show us only a fraction of what the mind is capable of producing. There are countless worlds. Give yourself the gift of expanding the view.

It’s not easy to separate what is going on from our compulsive, conditioned reactions. In fact, we usually lump them together into a single experience. If a person begins screaming at us, we might think this leads to an emotional response -“this person is a jerk”.

But what we actually do is tell ourselves “this person is screaming at me BECAUSE he is a jerk”. Until we are able to separate an encounter from a response, we won’t be able to think of other reasons for the screaming.

To unravel complex, compulsive reactions and to see more clearly without judgement, we have to be compassionate. With ourselves.

It’s in our nature to be conditioned by the past. But we can learn to chip away at habits that don’t serve us. Go gently.

If knowledge is power, consider training to handle emotions like sadness or anger; to improve your listening skills or to speak more often with gentleness and compassion. This kind of education changes worlds.

Emotions are always on the way out. Learning to acknowledge them without getting attached eases anguish. Ride the wave.

It’s not easy to let go of the idea of right and wrong; that in a conflict there must be a winner and a loser. In most cases, clashing is a misunderstanding of the other’s motives, which can cause us to bristle, feeling threatened.

In order to detect someone’s intention there must be a pause. A breath. To allow quiet listening with an open heart. This is what it is like to be guided by a sense of compassion.

When compassion wells up inside, it means we’ve learned how strong and safe we really are.