Unraveling Adoption

If you've read/heard our new book Adoption and Suicidality, you will remember Terri Dreismeier, the adoptive mom who lost her young adult son Adam to su***de just last year. The gut-wrenching letter she wrote that's in our book bounces back and forth between the day of his su***de and the day she and her husband picked him up from the airport (from Korea).

Terri just published another poignant essay for Centering and Grief Digest Magazine. She writes about the ways she stays connected with her son Adam since his death. I know Adam is seeing his mom sharing her soul and working hard to help other families understand the impact of adoption - and the extra complex layers for inter-country adoptees. Thank you Terri for everything you're doing! It's making a difference. 💜

https://centering.org/grief-digest-articles/secluded-this-first-year/?fbclid=IwY2xjawE8sLxleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHSkzSIGuNxPSHwdPRvVcuclNy7zBsFxQiYaX9FZDRjSAFp5uytVRUFUSxA_aem_NC-Rnm2omk5owy4D_W1PxQ

Secluded This First Year I am on that long walk home. You ran ahead of me and your footsteps now echo the journey I must follow... Terri DreismeierSecluded This First YearI am bitterly cold; the brutality of the winds was relentless. The stone black walls that surrounded me began to crumble. The black clock of death ha...

Do you know an adoptive/foster parent whose child (any age) is struggling with suicidality, eating disorder, self-harm, addiction, or other self-destructive behavior?

If so, please invite them to the coaching group that's just for them, starting on September 16. I hope it will be helpful for folks to share a brave space with other parents who are in the excruciating situation of watching their kids self-destruct. And I plan to teach how to bring more peace into their own lives so they can continue walking beside their child, co-regulating with them as much as possible.

This group is a series of 6 interactive, one-hour sessions where we will have a structured discussion, role play scenarios, and offer resources. We will NOT be recording these sessions, so it's important that attendees are fully present and available. Mondays at 11am PST / 2pm EST starting September 16.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/parenting-a-self-destructive-child-6-week-coaching-group-for-adoptive-parents-tickets-993797845107

The first week is free, no obligation, so you can see if it's a good fit. Register without a credit card.

Please share this post with any adoptive families you know. I want to find the ones who are seeking this specific kind of help. Thanks!

At the conclusion of our 90-minute book launch event on Monday night, after hearing from 10 of the authors of our new book Adoption and Suicidality, I asked the attendees to type one word into the Chat about how they're feeling. This word cloud represents what they said.

What this tells me is that TALKING about suicidality makes people feel better, not worse. People need to share their stories, hear other people's stories, and realize they are not alone. We are grateful to everyone who spent time digging into this tough topic on Monday (or watching the video later), and who are willing to jump in to make things better for anyone impacted by adoption.

Reach out if you're needing to find connection or resources at the intersection of adoption and suicidality. Or stay tuned for more events coming up.

(Image description: word cloud with about 40 words on it, with the most prominent words being "courage, validation, love grateful, hope, and seen")

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You're invited to our online monthly group where we delve into conversations about adoption and suicidality. This brave and supportive space is open to individuals who have been touched by adoption and/or are navigating feelings of suicidality. Join us for open discussions, shared experiences, and resources to help you on your journey. Our first meeting is Sunday, September 8. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/conversations-about-adoption-and-suicidality-monthly-process-group-tickets-965421600997

This is more than a support group. It's a professionally-facilitated discussion circle, with 3 practitioners from the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database - Beth Syverson, Melissa Brunetti, and Shelley Jean - co-leading the meeting in a structured and intentional way.

Whether you are an adoptee with suicidal ideation, an adoptive parent who is afraid of their child's self-destructive behavior, a family member who's lost someone to su***de, a birth parent who's attempted su***de, or any other combination at this intersection of adoption and suicidality, you are welcome here.

We will avoid advice-giving and cross-talk, but we will create a brave space where everyone can feel heard and know they are not alone.

Find more information and register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/conversations-about-adoption-and-suicidality-monthly-process-group-tickets-965421600997

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Thanks for this Amazon review of our new book, Adoption and Suicidality, Bjorn!

Bjorn Rostron
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
This book is so overdue. An excellent start to a very difficult conversation
Reviewed in Australia on August 27, 2024
Talking about depression and mental health is difficult but talking about su***de is a topic we avoid at all costs. This book is an excellent resource written by people with lived experience. I highly recommend it to anyone from the adoption triangle as even if you don't think your loved one hasn't been affected by the adoption process - birth Mums, adoptees and adoptive parents - they most certainly have been, even if they don't realise it yet

I wanted to give a huge thank you to the Patreon supporters who have partnered with us this past month, enabling us to bring you weekly commercial-free podcasts, free community events, free Community Calendar resource, free Healing the Adoption Constellation Database resource, and more!

📢 Adair 📢 Autumn 📢 Betsey 📢 Bruce 📢 Camille 📢 Charlyn 📢 Eva 📢 Greg 📢 Janet 📢 Jenny 📢 Jo 📢 Laura 📢 Lisa 📢 LC 📢 Mar 📢 Nancy 📢 Nina 📢 Patricia 📢 Peggy 📢 Steve 📢 Susan 📢 Sue

Patreon is a super-easy way to support creators and artists directly. You can opt in, opt out, or change your contribution very easily anytime. (This is NOT like your gym membership, I promise!) Join our Patreon for as low as $5/month at Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption. I've created several tiers, but they all receive the same benefits. Just find the tier that fits your budget.

If Unraveling Adoption podcast, our events, or our APtitude support group for adoptive parents...

💜 ...has brought a deeper understanding of adoption to you,
💜 ...or has given you mirrors and camaraderie to walk with you on your adoption journey,
💜 ...or has provided you a place to discuss topics you can't discuss anywhere else,

I invite you to become a Patreon supporter and join the 25 other active Patreon members.

As a way of expressing our gratitude, Patreon members receive some cool benefits, too:

🍿 Access to our Adoption on Screen database + rate & review adoption content on movies & TV shows
🎙 Early podcast releases
💰 50% off live webinars and events (like the upcoming Conversations about Adoption and Suicidality event)
📸 Behind-the-scenes content
📣 Shout-out on the podcast

Join our Patreon for as low as $5/month at http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Beth

Have you been looking for a therapist, coach, or alternative healer - for yourself or your child? We've been talking about suicidality a lot lately, so maybe your awareness is heightened and you're looking for more support?

Here's your reminder about the free resource for the adoption community that I created: the Healing the Adoption Constellation database.

To access the database, go to UnravelingAdoption.com/healing. (Bookmark it for future reference.)

This chart contains practitioners of all kinds of healing modalities -- EMDR, hypnotherapy, coaching 🙋‍♀️, EFT, play therapy for kids, and much more. There are currently 98! practitioners from around the world, and more are added almost daily. (Who will be #100??)

You can Filter the chart to find just the type of practitioner you're looking for.

For instance, if you want to find an adoptee practitioner who can work with your 13yo adopted child.

Or someone who does EMDR therapy online for adoptive parents

Or someone who sees adoptees in person in North Carolina.

I hope this resource will be very helpful to those in the adoption constellation who are seeking help.

And if you're a practitioner who works with the adoption constellation, and you want to be added to the database, fill out the submission form here: https://forms.gle/Vbp447XvsbPxyjam6

Join us this Thursday at 5pm PST / 8pm EST for a talk about adoption and suicidality at our FREE Special Event Panel for Other Parents Like Me.

After registering, you will receive a verification link to our Special Event Panel, Understanding Adoption and Su***de: Voices of Resilience and Hope.

Adopted individuals are much more likely to attempt su***de than their non-adopted peers. Join the contributors of a new book, 'Adoption and Suicidality,' for a discussion on how adoption affects adoptees' mental health and how we can all work to prevent su***de. The panel will include adoptees who have survived su***de attempts or chronic suicidality, as well as parents who have lost a child to su***de. The panel's moderator, Beth Syverson, is a Peer Parent with OPLM, co-leading the weekly Adoptive Families meeting.

Register at https://oplm.com/upcoming-speakers/?meeting_id=29071 and receive a complimentary Other Parents Like Me Newsletter which provides you with a variety of featured resources such as blogs, articles, and podcasts. *Please be sure to check your Spam Folder.

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Even if you can't attend today's Adoption and Suicidality book launch event live, make sure to register. I'll send the recording of the event to those who've registered in a day or two. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-and-suicidality-book-launch-tickets-965338753197

But if you can come live, you'll hear from 10 of our book's contributors including (hopefully) our son Joey. And we're giving away about 20 prizes that have been generously donated by adoption community friends. And we'll share lots of resources to help people who are feeling suicidal and those who love them.

Here are the contributors who plan to speak at today's event:

Joey Nakao
Bruce Porth (Brian Swanson)
Kylie Flynn
Jodi Gibson Moore
Laura L Balius Engel
Lorraine Dusky
Greg Rostron
Terri Dreismeier (Theresa Ann Dreis)
Anessa Pfeifer-Gonzales
Melissa Brunetti

Thanks to all of you who have helped this book come to fruition! We who've created it feel strongly that suicidality needs to be talked about more, and we're grateful when anyone takes the time and emotional energy to hold space for this topic.

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🎙️ New Podcast Episode Alert! 🎙️

Do you know any homeschooling adoptive families? In this episode, we had a thought-provoking conversation with Rae, also known as Adoptee Reclaimed, about the impact of homeschooling on adopted children. Here are three key takeaways from our discussion:

Isolation and Adoption Trauma: Rae shared her personal experience of being homeschooled all the way from kindergarten through high school. She highlighted how the pressure to conform and the discordance in the bond between adoptees and their families can be amplified in a homeschooling environment. This can lead to feelings of isolation and difficulty in developing a sense of identity.

Need for Oversight and Support: Rae emphasized the importance of oversight and support for adopted children who are homeschooled. She mentioned the need for touch points with group settings and opportunities for adoptees to engage with a diverse range of peers. This can help in developing social skills and building a sense of community outside the homeschool environment.

Empowering Adoptees: Rae's advice to isolated adoptees, whether through homeschooling or other circumstances, was empowering. She encouraged them to remember that their experiences are not solely their fault and to be proactive in seeking out supportive relationships and communities. By taking control of their social circles and investing in meaningful connections, adoptees can work towards building the community they deserve.

If you're interested in learning more about the complexities of adoption and homeschooling, make sure to listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform or here: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/32693617.
And don't forget to follow Rae on Facebook or Instagram at Adoptee Reclaimed for more of her insightful content.

🍿🎥 Are you catching a movie this weekend? Did you know we created a resource called Adoption on Screen, a database that lists potentially activating content with adoption-related themes for over 260 movies. And we're adding more every week! Check out the list before you view to make sure you don't get blindsided by triggering storylines.🍿🎥

This new resource is a special bonus for our Patreon supporters, as a way to say thank you for contributing $5+/month. Our current Patreon supporters can access the database anytime, plus they can add their own ratings and reviews about the shows.

Our Patreon supporters help us make all the free resources sustainable - such as Unraveling Adoption podcast, the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database, the Community Calendar, and the APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents.

Join our Patreon and receive access to the movie database, early podcast releases, 50% off live events, and a shout-out on the podcast.

What are you waiting for? Join here: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption. Thanks!

Hey adopted people: Have you been working on your own personal growth and healing through plant medicine, breathwork, EMDR, a retreat, a pilgrimage, or other transformative process?

If so, you're invited to go DEEPER with this Sunday's Medicine Circle - exclusively for adoptees - TOMORROW, Sunday, August 25, 3-4:30pm PST / 6-7:30pm EST.

Register at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-adotpees-only-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-965417047377

It will be led by transracial adoptee and plant medicine integration guide Mee Ok Icaro. The Circle will serve as a space for adoptees to continue their healing and growth together, while nurturing connections with each other. Mee Ok will be supporting attendees in processing powerful experiences with her unique combination of life purpose coaching, Dr Gabor Maté-inspired integration tools, and indigenous wisdom traditions. Join other seekers to connect, bear witness, and hold space for yourself and others.

Each interactive Medicine Circle session is 90 minutes long, starting at 3pm PST / 6pm EST.

Find out more about Mee Ok Icaro at HoldingCompassionate.space

IMPORTANT NOTES:

Refunds are only available up to 24 hours before the event with no exceptions.

Because of the nature of this group and the safe space that we are attempting to create, we will not be able let anyone in after the first 5 minutes of the session. PLEASE BE PROMPT so you don't miss out.

Whether you are an adopted person, a birth/first parent, an adoptive parent, or an ally to the adoption community, you're invited to attend our first Conversations about Adoption and Suicidality event on September 8.

We hope to create a brave space for anyone touched by this intersection of adoption and suicidality.

The discussion circle will be facilitated by myself plus 2 other adoptees who are practitioners in our Healing the Adoption Constellation database - Shelley Jean Weber (triage nurse and reiki practitioner) and Melissa Brunetti (one of the Adoption and Suicidality book contributors and an SMGI practitioner).

Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/conversations-about-adoption-and-suicidality-monthly-process-group-tickets-965421600997

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Please pass this along to any adopted people you know who are wanting to dig deeper in their personal growth and healing!

On Sunday, Mee Ok Icaro will be facilitating a 90-minute Medicine Circle just for adoptees who've experienced plant medicine or other transformative therapeutic or spiritual approaches. Within an intentional community of other seekers, she will guide attendees to integrate insights they've gained and will draw upon each person's inner wisdom to move them forward along their path.

Transracial adoptees, contact Beth at [email protected] or Mee Ok if you would like to request a scholarship.

Here's the registration link for Sunday's event + more info about it: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-adotpees-only-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-965417047377

36.7 times! Adoptees are 36.7 times more likely to attempt su***de than the national average. Over 900 adopted people were asked, and 22% said they had attempted su***de. The national average is 0.6%. This data is from Dr. Lynn Roche Zubov's eye-opening new survey, the preliminary results of which you can access at A Preliminary Exploration into Adoption Reunions

I hope this statistic about suicidality really wakes people up! I found out about this data days before the deadline for our new book, Adoption and Suicidality, and I was able to work with Dr. Zubov to include some of these statistics (and more) in the book at the very last moment.

The number I had always heard before this new survey's findings was that adoptees were 4 times as likely to attempt su***de. That survey was much smaller than Dr. Zubov's survey, and it asked adoptive parents (!) instead of adoptees themselves. I always felt like that 4X number was too low.

If you are an adopted person or a first parent, you are encouraged to fill out Dr. Zubov's survey. She will keep updating it each year with the new data gathered. Here's the survey itself: https://wssuiar.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_094ibXoKNFxoH9c?fbclid=IwY2xjawEzCXlleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHb3SPqh5-YlDDPyHA9bcroCkX1It7rD3-RDg-qFSIBafYushNrnowzAeiw_aem_k4r6LJA7bPaZU7fowvW7vA

And if you haven't checked out our new book yet, please find it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

We're grateful for many wonderful reviews already, but would appreciate more reviews to help the book get to more people. We are especially wanting to have therapists and other healthcare providers read/hear the book because they are at the front lines for mental health.

Thanks to Dr. Zubov and all the advocates out there who are trying to help the public understand adoption's complexities. I'll keep doing what I can do from here, and I'm so appreciative of all the collaborations we're building within the adoption community and beyond. Let's all keep working, because lives are literally at stake.

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🎙️New Podcast Episode is out! 🎙️

In this week's episode, Joey I co-hosted with our guest Pete Patton, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee, who shared his powerful story and insights on adoption's complexities. Here are three key takeaways from our conversation with Pete:

Understanding the Collective Experience: Pete emphasized the importance of recognizing the collective experience of being stolen and adopted, highlighting the systemic issues and historical trauma faced by Native adoptees. By sharing his story, Pete shed light on the impact of being separated from one's culture and ancestors.

Reconnecting with Indigenous Heritage: Pete's journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and spirituality serves as a powerful reminder of the healing that can come from embracing one's roots. Through practices like Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) and connecting with other Indigenous people, Pete found a sense of belonging and truth in his identity.

Educating and Listening: Pete's story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of education, listening, and understanding. It is crucial for us all to listen to the stories and experiences of Indigenous adoptees like Pete, learn from their perspectives, and work towards creating a more inclusive and empathetic society.

You can find the episode on your favorite podcast platform, on YouTube, or at this link: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/32613237.

Thank you to Pete and Joey for their insightful contributions to this episode. Let's continue to learn, grow, and support one another on this journey of unraveling adoption.

You won’t want to miss Dr Zubov’s presentation on Tuesday:

If you can, please join me Tuesday night at 7:00 (Central Time). I will be discussing some of the study's early findings through Adoption Knowledge Affiliates. The event is free, however you can make a donation if you'd like.

You must PRE-REGISTER to receive your Zoom link: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/cause_pdetails/MjExNDMz...

This upcoming event for ADOPTEES ONLY is led by transracial adoptee, sacred plant medicine advisor, and integration coach Mee Ok Icaro.

If you're an adopted or formerly fostered individual who has experienced plant medicine, breathwork, or any other transformative therapeutic event, we invite you to go deeper through this Medicine Circle. Mee Ok will help attendees integrate their insights into their daily life, and you will be build community with other adoptees who are on the healing path.

Transracial adoptees, please reach out if you need scholarship assistance.

The Medicine Circle will be a 90-minute session on Sunday, August 25 starting at 3pm PST / 6pm EST.

Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-adotpees-only-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-965417047377

Reach out to me or Mee Ok if you have any questions.

Are you coming to our book launch event on Monday, August 26? You'll get to meet several of the authors, win giveaways from other community leaders, and ask questions. See you there! Register for free below.

Adoption and Suicidality Book Launch Join us for the virtual launch of our new book exploring the intersection of adoption and suicidality. Author talks, Q&A, prizes, and more!

Thanks to Bo for writing this review of our new book Adoption and Suicidality on the Canadian Amazon app!

Reviews really help us get the word out to more people who need to know this book exists. If you've had a chance to read/hear the book, we would LOVE it if you could put a few sentences on Amazon or goodreads! Thanks everyone! 💜

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🎧 The AUDIOBOOK 🎧 is now available for our new book Adoption and Suicidality, in addition to the paperback and e-book versions. It took a few extra days, but we've got it ready now through Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DD18PYKL

The audiobook is particularly special because you'll hear most of the authors' own voices, reading their own poems and essays. It's quite moving! I read the 14 contributors' pieces dozens of times in preparation for this book's production, but when I heard their recording, their words hit me much stronger.

I also love that our book is accessible to everyone, and the audiobook makes it very convenient for commuters or busy folks to get information in. Just take care when listening, because the content is quite serious and some of it is very sad.

❤️‍🩹 As always, if you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988 in the US, or the equivalent in your country. ❤️‍🩹

And stay tuned for more opportunities to get engaged with others in the adoption community on this topic!

Thank you all for your support in getting the word out about this important book and topic! Sending you all light and hope today!

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Adopted people, you are invited to this month's Medicine Circle for Adoptees ONLY with Mee Ok Icaro on Sunday, August 25.

Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-adotpees-only-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-965417047377

Transracial adoptees who would like to come but have limited funds should reach out to Beth or Mee Ok to inquire about a scholarship. Email [email protected].

What Are Medicine Circles?

In these special circles, we help foster the medicine inside all of us by finding deeper meanings in our experiences and how we might frame them in a way that empowers us, bringing us closer to the beauty of our true nature.

Why Join a Medicine Circle?

Deepen Your Healing: Build upon the transformative insights gained from our plant medicine work or other transformative experiences such as breathwork, EMDR, retreat, etc.

Community Connection: Forge deeper bonds with fellow members of our adoption community, offering and receiving support along our shared paths.

Continued Growth: Explore new insights and perspectives, evolving together as we navigate the complexities of adoption and identity.

This Medicine Circle is open adult adoptees ONLY.

Each Circle is 90 minutes long, starting at 3pm PST / 6pm EST.

Discover more about Mee Ok Icaro's work at Holdingcompassionate.space

IMPORTANT NOTES:

Refunds are only available up to 24 hours before the event with no exceptions.

Because of the nature of this group and the safe space that we are attempting to create, all attendees are expected to remain for the full duration, and we will not be able to let anyone in after the first 5 minutes of the session. PLEASE BE PROMPT so you don't miss out.