Resolve Counselling

Laughter has serious benefits
Joe H***e
"We don't laugh because we're happy, we're happy because we laugh" - William James
Do we laugh enough or should we learn to laugh more? Joyful, good-natured, 'mirthful' laughter is a tonic for our body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Whether we use it as a distraction, to cheer ourselves up, or as a practice to energise and enthuse us, laughing impacts every part of us. In many ways it is the ultimate drug, with no harmful side-effects.
On a physical level, laughter stimulates our cardiovascular and pulmonary systems by giving our hearts and lungs a vigorous workout. It stimulates blood flow, oxygenates our blood and energises our whole physical system even if we're hospitalised. The US doctor Patch Adams has been using it professionally for years.
Its endorphin-triggering effect makes laughter a strong painkiller for emotional and mental pain, as well as physical. It has been proven that higher levels of pain can be readily tolerated and the healing process is speeded up. Both the Norman Cousins experience, described in his classic best seller 'Anatomy of an Illness', and the current RX Laughter project with children in UCLA hospital in Los Angeles provide the evidence.
Psychologically, laughter is the antithesis of depression. If we're feeling any anxiety, it is an excellent antidote. In fact, in 2002 in Austria Dr Koutek started using the sound of spontaneous group laughter as part of his treatment for patients with depression. In our Bristol laughter club there are countless examples of people whose lives have benefitted from the 'lightness' that laughter induces. People's faces change, their body language and posture become more open and relaxed, their communication becomes more playful and spontaneous. Even the simple smiling exercise based on the 1988 F. Strack, L.L. Martin and S. Stepper's pencil exercise produces lasting results. All you need do is smile genuinely three times a day for at least 10-15 seconds and some people find it transforms their lives.
Laughter and playfulness, in turn, unlock our natural creativity. "You can learn more about a person in an hour of play than a year of conversation" said Plato. Creativity is an essential part of a fun-filled life and helps neuroplasticity, our brain's learning ability, by strengthening mental flexibility and resilience. Because of this - as we see in Martin Seligman's Positive Psychology - optimism, positivity and happiness become learnable skills. In short, we learn to become happier.
On the self-development path, the practice of laughter is the practice of joyfulness. Ancient traditions as well as new ones encourage us to practice laughing - with a sense of willingness. What ancient traditions intuited and experienced, and neuroplasticity shows, is a practice is learning new skills until they become second nature. Current thinking is that it might be only 21 days, as in the Chopra 21-day meditation challenge. The key ingredients are single-mindedness, perseverance and tenacity to keep going until you become aware of the differences in your life. There are numerous recent psychological studies which show the beneficial impact of smiling especially when this is the genuine 'Duchenne' smile which uses the involuntary orbicularis oculi muscles. This genuine smile encourages an empathetic response and consequently stimulates sociability.
Top tips to laugh more:
1. Look for laughter and laughter will find you. Look for as many opportunities to smile and laugh in your day, and importantly, communicate them. Not only will you feel better, you will also be encouraging a positive ripple in others too.
2. If it will be funny later, it's funny now. Often we look back and laugh at things. Can we laugh at them now instead?
3. Start your day with a laugh. This is both a Zen and a Hawaiian practice. No matter what yesterday delivered, start today with a chuckle, a kinaesthetic version of a positive affirmation. Why? We get the endorphins. We may then feel more upbeat and better equipped for your day ahead. Its worth remembering, when we're feeling really rough, that's the time we need our endorphins most.
4. Fake it till you make it. Feeling grumpy? Sluggish? Irritable? When you're ready to change your mood, smile and laugh, even if you don't yet feel like it. Your system will release endorphins anyway because it can't tell the difference between the real joyful laugh and a fake one. The key is your willingness.
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Joe H***e joe h***e: laughter yoga to reduce stress & anxiety and boost your zest for life and live life fully on your own terms. I do this through courses, conferences, team sessions, workshops, seminars, retreats, webinars, and one-to-one.

Hi everyone. For anyone out there who has had an affair, is thinking of an affair or is in an affair (or knows friends or family in that situation) please have a read of this very interesting article. It's about whether affairs end up as long-term successful relationships.

https://affairadvice.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/do-affairs-end-up-in-successful-relationships-13/

How Often Do Affair Partners End up Marrying and Happy? Short answer? Sometimes. But not as often as people in them think they will. In fact, it’s pretty rare that two people in an affair end up married, and are still married after 5 years. Those that d…

Hi folks. Passing on a poem that is so true for this time. David

This period of social isolation
Can be used as an invitation
For growth and transformation.
A re-examination of
my attitudes, routines, values

A great opportunity
To press the reset button.

This may hopefully
readjust any discrepancies
in my lifestyle.
Looking around my personal
space, lots needs readjustment.

A great opportunity
To press the reset button.

Thank you for the fresh
Chance to review
my life patterns
to reset that button
to begin anew.

Hi Folks.
Here is an interesting piece about the benefits of an outdoors lifestyle for kids.We probably all agree with it but putting it into practice with our kids is a different story!
Regards
David

https://1000hoursoutside.com/1/post/2019/01/children-should-be-outside-for-4-6-hours-everyday.html?fbclid=IwAR02-8tikMBWMyoVhmQatfNAfx5A0RqoDeIYPBkS2g7fZmSz0duJMuNs0lQ

Children Should Be Outside for 4-6 Hours Every Day Let me begin by saying we are not outside for 4-6 hours everyday. We aim for 4-6 hours outside at least three to four times a week (a little more in the nicer months and a little less in the worse...

https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4

Just watched this video - it’s priceless advice, definitely worth a watch!

10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations — and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste ...

Hi guys. I found this article really interesting.

https://www.bustle.com/p/13-unexpected-signs-of-high-functioning-depression-to-watch-out-for-8613348

13 Unexpected Signs Of High-Functioning Depression To Watch Out For When it comes to depression, there are certain signs that many people are familiar with, like loss of interest in things someone once loved, low energy, and sadness. But not all signs of depression are so blatant. Some people have symptoms of high-fu…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43486641

As a relationship, marriage and couple counsellor in Kettering, I often hear adults telling me of their pain and angry arguments and rows - sometimes in front of the kids. I can tell them (what they know already) that they shouldn't argue in front of their children. This article shares some of the damage that can result. None of us are perfect as parents but prevention is better than cure.

How parents' arguments really affect their children It is normal for parents to argue, but the way rows affect children varies greatly.

Hi there. I thought this was a really good article and wanted to share it - in a world where our kids can be cottonwool-balled.
Cheers.
David

http://deeprootsathome.com/roughhousing-kids-emotional-development/

The Lost Art Of Roughhousing: Why Roughhousing Makes Kids Awesome It's been found that the amount of roughhousing children engage in predicts their achievement in first grade better than their kindergarten test scores do.

CONFIDENCE

Where does confidence come from? Is it from nature or nurture? Is it developed or is it a naturally born instinct, personality type or DNA thread? Some people (few and far between but often envied by most) seem to have an intrinsic self-confidence where optimism, repose, exuberance, peace, initiative, creative thoughts and ideas, etc. seem to flow out or radiate from them. The world and all its travails and trials doesn’t seem to phase them or bog them down. And the rest of us look on and wonder how they do it!

Lack of confidence has plagued the human race since the early days. But recent society and family breakdown, loss of communities, social isolation and the powerful modern drive and race for materialistic or academic achievements or physical prowess have helped push confidence – or lack of it – to breaking point. Nowadays especially, the younger generation face a consistent pressure (onslaught would be a better word) to be ‘liked’ on Instagram, Facebook, etc. Without the required number of ‘likes’, self-esteem plummets and all the associated ills of a low self-image can come strongly to the fore. Rejection, fear of rejection, inadequacy, ineptness, self-pity, inferiority, shyness, loneliness, self-doubt, etc. We may have experienced it in our generation but for the next generation – the ‘Gym and Tattoo Generation’, it is even worse. Unfortunately nowadays, not having enough ‘likes’ or ‘friends’ (so–called) can diminish or destroy confidence. For our kids too (if we have them).

And confidence, or lack of it, affects us mostly in the area of our relationships. Specialising in relationship and couple counselling in Kettering, Northants, U.K. I see all too well what can happen when confidence saps or plummets – assuming it was ever there in the first place!

Normally confidence has been instilled, built up, encouraged and nurtured in us by reliable care-givers – parents being the most likely. The love, affirmation and encouragement and, hopefully, positive thinking that has come our way from parents, elders, leaders, authority figures, etc. influences our perceptions of how we see ourselves. Affirmation is critically important to us as we grow up. We need to know that those ‘above’ us think that we are good and acceptable for who we are – not for what we do. That we are loved as human ‘beings’, not human ‘doings’. Without this, we can, sadly, be bereft of the confidence we need to survive in the ‘dog eat dog’ world we live in.

For some, belief in a higher authority, a divine presence, a heavenly being, a Creator God ….. can exert a powerful influence on how they perceive themselves and how they act. A sense that this Awesome Presence can help them through life and difficult situations. Ask Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics’ Anonymous, etc. all of whom use the concept that a Higher Power can help one through problems. This idea is an essential component of the ‘Twelve Steps’ Programmes that they and other organizations use to help their members.

Why does this help? Because this belief system transcends the inefficiencies, inadequacies and inconsistencies in peoples’ lives. Or of those around them who should have helped in – or should still be helping in – the job of building up confidence. Who may have failed in that task.

It means that despite our failures and mistakes, we are still seen as lovable and cared for and have significant worth and being beyond our performance – or lack of it. That we are presentable. And that builds up confidence. Massively.

What about us? Are we confident? Or do we lack confidence? Do we have friends and family that have helped – or can help – build us up and inspire confidence in us? Do we – or could we – look to a Higher Presence to help our security knowing we are loved, cared for, etc.? As the Psalmist cried out somewhere in the Bible, “I am still confident of this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Can that help us? Is God there? Can He really help? An interesting question.

If you think that you lack confidence and are troubled by it or have any other issues with life, then do feel free to think about coming for some counselling with me. Couple and marriage counselling in Kettering, - as well as having been a counsellor to many individuals - has shown me that many are low in confidence and self-esteem. I come from that background myself and have seen great personal changes made over the years so I know it is possible to move on, be changed and restored.

Please contact me to book an initial free consultation and have a chat about these or any other issues. My counselling in Kettering covers couple, marriage, relationship, individual or family issues. Please contact me at Resolve Counselling. I offer an initial 30 minute free consultation at my Kettering counselling room - or 20 minutes via Skype - and then you can decide if counselling is the way forward for you.
Contact me via Facebook, on my mobile number 07891694134, via my website www.resolvecounselling.net or send a skype request to :- davidcounselling

Take care

David Woodward

Resolve Counselling For professional counselling services from a qualified counsellor in Kettering (28 years experience) call 07891694134. Skype counselling too. Free consultation.

Hi everyone. I came across this article which I think is so true - about how experiences can mean more to us than possessions. Take a look.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2016/08/09/why-you-should-spend-your-money-on-experiences-not-things/

Why You Should Spend Your Money On Experiences, Not Things You don’t have infinite money. Spend it on stuff that research says makes you happy.

Compassion - Why We Need It In A Hurting World?

Ever been hurt? Ever been knocked in the Life School of Hard Knocks? Most people have – to a greater or larger degree. Some terribly so. In my role as a couple, marriage and relationship counsellor in Kettering and as a prison counsellor too (one day a week dealing with men who have been convicted of sexual offences), I see a lot of hurt and pain. A world crying out for healing. And at the drug addict and alcoholic centre I now work at as a volunteer (one day a fortnight) I see and hear of more pain. Terrible. Sometimes too much. Never mind about turning on the news and seeing so many victims of war, ethnic cleansing, famine, etc. Plus my knowledge of the Holocaust and the World Wars etc. because of my interest and degree in Modern History. A world crying out with such terrible pain.

So where does healing come from? Can it come? Is it out there? The answer has to be “Yes – up to a point.” We can’t eliminate all of the pain in the world but we can do our bit to be part of the solution – not part of the problem. And as Jabez cried out to God in the Bible, “…that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.” We can actively, by choice, try and not to increase the pain in the world but to help others get through their’s. We can’t change the whole world. But as Mother Teresa said, “we change the world one person at a time.” Or, as my friend Garry Hare said many years ago, we can try and affect our ‘sphere of influence.’ For me, that is my clients and counsellees, friends and family. For Donald Trump, that can be the world. For you, it’s those you come into contact with that you can affect - for good or for bad.

So, what is compassion and have we got enough inside of us to be able to give some away? A dictionary definition of it is: “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” That sounds alright. Surely we all have a bit of that – with some to spare? And it doesn’t take too much to be able to demonstrate a bit of t.l.c. (tender loving care) to someone who needs it. Or maybe as some others do, to participate in “acts of random kindness.”

I do think that when we have experienced pain ourselves, then we are in a better position to help, empathise and have compassion on others. I think many counsellors have got into counselling after coming from a background of trying to work through their own pain. On a similar level, when I was in Kettering Hospital Accident and Emergency Unit early last Saturday morning with a very painful knee that they were giving me painkillers including morphine for, I was VERY empathetic to the pain of others and it gave me a new insight into the ridiculousness and futility of war – when people deliberately try and inflict pain, killing and destruction onto others. I understood and emphasised far better about the physical pain of others. We can also give people comfort and compassion when we ourselves have received and experienced it from others. We know how it works!

And perhaps the world is full of compassion – it’s just that we don’t see or hear of it. It doesn’t make such good news headlines as disaster, pain and terror. In fact there are probably billions of acts of compassion a day – just as there are many bad acts every day. We just have to try and make sure that, for our part, we are involved with the good, loving, kind, compassionate things that happen – not the bad, awful things. As, as Isaiah cried out (like Jabez, also in The Bible), “Comfort, comfort my people.”

If you feel you need some help, compassion and counselling in Kettering – couple, marriage, relationship, individual or family – then do please contact me at Resolve Counselling. I offer an initial 30 minute free consultation at my Kettering counselling room - or 20 minutes via Skype - and then you can decide if counselling is the way forward for you.
Contact me via Facebook, on my mobile number 07891694134, via my website www.resolvecounselling.net or send a skype request to :- davidcounselling

David Woodward

Resolve Counselling For professional counselling services from a qualified counsellor in Kettering (28 years experience) call 07891694134. Skype counselling too. Free consultation.

Hi folks. Have a listen to this from my friend Richard Kane from 'Marriage Week International'. Five little video snippets about marriages and partnerships.

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=richard%20kane

www.facebook.com

Hi everyone.
I received this on Facebook and I was very impressed with it. It's written by someone who has a faith (which not everyone has) but is very challenging to those who are in long-term relationships or marriages. Have a read and see what you think.

http://www.faithwire.com/2017/08/05/the-one-thing-guaranteed-to-end-all-marriages/

The One Thing Guaranteed to End All Marriages

Hi there everyone. I came across this great piece about what keeps marriages successful and working. Do take a bit of time to click onto it have a look.
Regards
David

https://www.popsugar.co.uk/love/Marriage-Advice-From-Married-Couples-42856043

35 Secrets to Marriage Success 17. Marry someone you like killing time with.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is the sort of thing that we all know (in our heads) sounds a nice, kind, good thing to do but that many of us in fact can struggle with. I mean, who wants to forgive the idiot who almost ran you off the road, the burglar who ransacked your home or the bully that is making your child’s life a misery. Far better to hate them, pound them, judge and despise them. Of course it is. Or is it? Is that really going to help you? Or your kids who you’re (hopefully) trying to role-model life to?

In my role as a private practice counsellor in Kettering, a G.P.’s counsellor in Corby and a prison counsellor at Wellingborough and Littlehey, I have counselled around 1200 people over the last few years. Only one person has ever come to me out of all those people and said, “David, I have a problem with unforgiveness,” and recognised it as such. Only one. And yet I have encountered it, challenged and discussed it dozens - if not hundreds - of times. When you start taking the ‘jam-jar’ lid off people’s lives behind closed doors in a counselling session, then you would be amazed at what can come up. And it can be very deep. Bitterness, anger, rage and judgements, resentments, unforgiveness and hate.

I specialise in couple and marriage counselling in my Kettering counselling practice and I sometimes encounter couples where grievances are held, remembered and even nurtured and then wheeled out when the next shouting match starts. But as someone famous said (I think it was St. Augustine), “Forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Very astute and absolutely true, because sometimes the person who has wronged us isn’t even remorseful - and in some instances would even do it again if given the chance! So we cannot afford for our forgiveness to rely on other people. It has to rely on OUR choices and responses. As difficult as that is. Otherwise unforgiveness can play havoc on our emotions.

Sometimes forgiveness is a CHOICE. And it certainly isn’t an emotion – as who FEELS like forgiving. It has to be a mental assent – followed by a personal choice of the will. Difficult I know but always worthwhile. Someone else said that in life it is not what happens to us but how we respond that is the most important thing. We can get bitter or better.

In my experience, people can’t always forgive until they have had a chance to ‘work through’ the anger. Otherwise it can be like trying to apply an ‘elastoplast’ of forgiveness to a gaping wound of rage and anger and hate. Forgiveness is like a balm to the wound but the infection needs addressing also. That needs to be looked at and dealt with too. But it is so worthwhile. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu said back in South African apartheid days, “Forgiveness is not just a good thing to do. It is is the best form of self-interest.” That makes sense. It certainly does. Forgiving helps our emotional life develop and can take some of the painful sting out of life’s events and traumas.

If you feel you are having a problem forgiving somone and feel that some counselling could help – either face-to-face or via Skype – then please feel free to contact me. I offer a 30 minute free initial consultation at my Kettering counselling room and then you can decide if counselling re. a forgiveness issue is the way forward for you. Contact me via Facebook, on my mobile 07891694134 or via my website www.resolvecounselling.net

Thank you.
David

IS INTERNET P**N AFFECTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

I recently went on a CPD seminar about, "Sexual Addiction and Po*******hy." This is something I encounter now quite regularly in my counselling in Kettering - counselling both individuals and couples.
Here is a link to a brilliant 4 minute video about dealing with addiction to po*******hy - much more common than we realise but for obvious reasons, not always admitted to or discussed. Please feel free to "Share" it - if you are not too embarrassed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BHAREf9zmU

If you are interested in having the 30 minute free consultation that I offer as a Kettering counsellor (either face to face or on Skype), then please contact me through Facebook, on my mobile 07891694134 or via my website www.resolvecounselling.net
Thank you.
David Woodward

Resolve Counselling - Kettering, Northamptonshire Specialities: David Woodward is an expert counsellor offering a comprehensive range of professional counselling services. I offer an initial 20-30 minute free consultation, either face-to-face or via Skype.

I offer an initial 30 minute free consultation and you can then decide if you trust me to help you in your situation.

Call me to arrange 07891 694134

Counselling Services in Kettering, Corby, Wellingborough Counselling Services in Kettering from David Woodward at Resolve Counselling available in Corby, Wellingborough. Call 07891694134 or e-mail [email protected].

If you think you have a problem with anger, then why not try and deal with it. I offer a 30 minute free consultation to discuss how people can be helped with this and any other issues they are struggling with. If you think you might need help, then please contact me.

07891694134 / [email protected]

If you think your relationship could do with some experienced professional help or input, then don't wait until it's too late.

I offer an initial free consultation to the couples, families and individuals I counsel. You can have a look at the "Testimonials" of what others have said and you can read more about the work I do with people on my website at www.counsellingkettering.com.

07891694134 / [email protected]

If you would like more information about me (David Woodward) Please click the 'About David' Section on the link below. Thank you

Counselling in Kettering & Northants with David Woodward Qualified, Experienced Counselling in Kettering, Northants offered with FREE first consultation to individuals and couples. I would be privileged to be given the opportunity to help you too.

I offer an initial free 30 minute consultation at my counselling room near Wicksteed Park, Kettering for those who live locally or online using Skype for those living further afield.

It gives us the opportunity to get to know each other, establish some trust and is for those who want to see if counselling with me could be the way forward for them.

It is available for couples, individuals and also families.

As an ‘Integrative’ counsellor, I use both Person-Centred and Psychodynamic approaches, where necessary using Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy. A university graduate, I have a BA Hons. in Modern History and International Relations and use the Myers-Briggs Psychometric Profile to help assess personality types

In addition to having my own counselling practice in Kettering, I am a prison counsellor (Wellingborough and now Littlehey) and was a counseller in Corby at a G.P.’s surgery. CRB checked, I spent years working with difficult 16-25 year olds at a residential hostel in Kettering and do family counselling with troubled families for Social Services. Fully insured, I receive regular personal supervision.

I have been counselling now for over twenty six years, holding the AQA Advanced Diploma in Counselling and am an Accredited Member of the professional body, The National Counselling Society. As a counsellor in Kettering, Northants, I offer an initial 30 minute free consultation and you can then decide if you trust me to help you in your situation.

Why Counselling?

We could all do with help sometimes in our lives. And maybe you could do with some right now? For example:-
Is your marriage or partnership struggling and could you do with some input or help?
Are you at a place of loss, bereavement, abandonment or betrayal?
Could you do with some help coping with an emotional crisis or breakdown?
Is it difficult for you to forgive, or work through, past or present resentments?

Call me to book a consultation 07891 694134