MJ's Musings

This between work and fasting I could not get around to sending out my usual to and . So I made and distributed them. Something sweet to open your fast with!

Eid baskets galore for some friends! With some yummy treats to pick from!

Fragrances from a time left behind…..
24 years ago, when I got married, my mother gave me a tin spice box. It was a staple household item in Dubai. I carried it across the oceans and the seas all the way to Canada as I settled in to begin a new life there.
It signified new beginnings, it only had room for the simple spices. The ones a new bride would need for the start of her cooking journey. Nothing fancy. Just the basics. All that you need to make easy wholesome good food.
Much like the when you start a new life. You need only a couple of things. Food, health, shelter, financial stability, love and friends and you are happy.
As life evolved and became more complicated and complex so did my cooking become more adventurous. I quickly outgrew the box and moved beyond the 7 spices it held and into an entire cabinet full of flavours.
So I carefully packed away the box. It reminded me of my mother who is no longer with us. It reminded me of a home that no longer exists and a time that cannot be turned back to. I put it away like I hid away a piece of my heart. I could not part with it because it held parts of me in its history.
Today ironically as I was packing things for my son to take to university and he moves into his own house with house mates. I was wondering how to give him some spices. Not that he cooks but every kitchen needs spices I feel, and I was reminded of this tiny tin box. I unearthed it from its resting place and opened it only to be overwhelmed with the jolt of memories that rushed at me. It was a true treasure box.
I knew my mom must have felt the same when she gave me that box. To us South Asians,food and cooking means home. She was giving me my home. And I was giving him his.
And so I filled it with the most basics of spices.
And so life comes full circle in the most beautiful of ways.
And so love can span and spill over generations even through an old tin spice box.
Because times may change and people come and go. But love…… love always remains.

When reality looks like a painting subhanallah

...............Ramadan Kareem!!...............

So, it’s been an interesting week to say the least. I have been quiet for a while. Not sure really what to say. We are in ‘stay at home’ order again. I have been feeling very blah lately and honestly a little disappointed at our government on all levels. Our vaccination program could have been much better. But that’s all I’ll say. It seems the world is starting a party and Canada wasn’t invited.
So just like many others feeling fed up. Missing my loved ones.I literally haven’t seen a single relative in almost 2 years since they are all abroad. Thank goodness for friends and longs walks.
Let’s try to look on the bright side. The most blessed month of Ramadan is upon us Alhamdulillah and we are inshallah amongst the blessed ones who get to see it again when many have not. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and all around us things are blooming and coming to life. Perhaps ‘fa inna ma'al usri yusra’ (verily with every hardship comes ease) is shown here in this instance as the best example. Perhaps for us Muslims this lockdown allows us to be gentle on ourselves and focus on our prayers and less on our iftar parties. It will force us to connect with others in different creative ways. It will help us appreciate the times that we are able to be together more. It also helps us learn about ourselves and prioritises who we choose to meet if at all. So it’s going to be ok. We will be fine.
On a side note. I’ve been seeing posts about people complaining about things being essential that are deemed non essential in stores and closed off. I can only say this.
1. It’s not the employees fault. This is a list given by the government to the stores. So don’t chew out the employees for gods sake.
2) Everything can be ordered online. Essential, non. You can buy a hat and coat for your pet duck if u want to. But honestly reality check. What is really essential. That’s what we all need to ask ourselves. Now compare that list to someone who is below the poverty line and see the difference.
3) The reason for this is to be fair to small businesses. In the past huge stores deemed grocery stores such as Costco and Walmart sold everything under lockdown but the small stores could only do curbside for everything. This was a really unfair advantage. People including myself would wander over to costo for entertainment and just to see what’s in stock. This way I personally won’t go because I know I’m just going to get my
Milk and Eggs there and I can go to any store open for that. This levels the field and is fair practice.
4) Support small local handmade businesses for your Ramadan/eid gifts. We have many many talented people out there. Help them out.
5)Small businesses, we want to buy from you. Help us out. Give great deals and make your things more affordable. This will help u build your name. Sellers and buys are all struggling. Let’s work together.

That’s it from me for now. I promise to write more frequently. But in the mean time Ramadan Kareem!!! Have a happy safe blessed Ramadan
From my family to yours!

You know your son knows you well when he gives you a stuffed alpaca for your bday!! P.S why do they look like they are always smiling!!!

*************Food for thought**************
My mother made the best Haleem. For those not familiar with this dish it’s a hearty concoction of spices, meat, lentils, grains and barley cooked over a low heat for hours. Growing up it was made on all special occasions and my parent’s friends would make special requests for her to make it and invite them over. It brought friends together over the dinner table and those moments are part of my favorite memories.
We Desis (of South Asian origin) are all about food. And I never understood why until I became an adult, a mother and part of a community. It became even more clear to me during this era of Covid. We could not socialize; we could not gather. When friends lost loved ones, we could not even visit. Birthdays, Ramadan, Eid’s, all sorts of special occasions and even funerals passed. Oh, so many funerals. But we could not be fully present. And THAT is draining on the soul.
But, we made dua of course and we could send food. I could never replicate my mother’s recipe but I do seem to have followed in her foot steps in the Haleem making area. For some reason friends love my Haleem and I frequently get requests for it. I feel connected to my mother when I make Haleem. I see her hands stirring the pot as I stir mine.
So, this last covid year I have sent out a LOT of Haleem. The picture attached is my latest endeavour. A box of Haleem sent by me simply means I’m sending my love and support when I cannot be there for you. It won’t fix anything but it’s says there is someone who cares.
It is truly food for thought because I am thinking of you. Finally, I get it, we Desis are so fond of feeding people because we equate it with love and rightly so. It takes us back to those hands who lovingly fed us when we were little. Our mothers hands. Actually, this notion is embedded in every culture. In the movie Ratatouille, even the nasty food critic is reduced to tears as he is transported down memory lane to when he was a little boy presented with something his mother used to make. Food is indeed love.
This Ramadan when we could not meet, we could not pray together this is how we connected. Through the art of sharing food. Through countless iftars left on doorsteps. Where all else failed, food prevailed.
It seems we are not out of the woods yet, we have a way to go, so maybe you might find at your door step one day a little bowl of love. Bon Appetit!

What to write? what to write? it's a new year, it's the last day of this awful year. But tomorrow morning when we wake up what would have really changed? just the calendar. Just the last number of a 4 digit year. Shall I be honest? Can I really say what I feel? am I allowed to say it?
I am exhausted. I am fed up and I am drained. And I don't feel like I have the right to be. Alhamdulillah I am blessed. I have everything I need and everyone that I need is still here. A gazillions Alhamdulillahs.
But so many I know lost so much. So many lost parents. So many near and dear. And I could not comfort them. I could not be there fully. Because I had to socially distance. Perhaps the act of being there is more of a consolation for myself then for those who lost their loved ones. A distraction if you will. Something to fool me into thinking I did my part. But I did nothing. I can't do anything.
The straw that broke my back was learning of the the death of the young son of an acquaintance who lives 5 minutes away from me. And I was done. No more could I take. I cried for 3 days straight and I had never even met him.
I normally don't lament like this. I am known for always posting something positive. This believe it or not is a positive post. It's asking to let go of the idea that we can control what happens. It's a killer this belief. We control NOTHING. The only thing we hold in our hands is our AKHLAQ. Our Haqooq al ibaad. How we deal with others. How we respond to situations. The ayat Hasbunallahu Wa Ni'mal Wakeel(Surah Ali Imran 3:173) para phrased to me means ALLAH IS ENOUGH for Me. Leave it with him. Tie your camel and that's it. The rest is upto the Almighty. Once we can truly realise it, when that penny drops and we can grasp that, then we will truly be free. Do your part as best you can and leave the rest and pray for the best.
So if you are like me and you are tired. If all you can do right now is simply exist may this new year allow you to hand over your burdens big and small to Al Rehman and Al Raheem and rest a while. The weight of the world is not on your shoulders and it never was. The new year might not change things over night. Midnight won't throw the corona virus into oblivion BUT you can take a new fresh breath and let go, and hope and believe and pray for new beginnings.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

I love love love Pakistan!!!
This will give you goosebumps!!
Must listen!!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSsaFUQ1/

MJ’s Musings on TikTok the call to prayer on one of the most places on

Spot the bunny! Which is real and which is a stuffie! Or are the both stuffies? Or are they both real hmmmmmmmm.... is there a Binky in the house

I am sure we all did this when we were younger. Writing in the sand. Carving in a tree. Most of us still indulge in this childish, seemingly innocent activity.
But why?
The desire to immortalize ourselves in some way in this world somehow exists in every living being.
What is interesting is how we do it and what we write. The writings in the sand are erasable, here one minute, gone with the next wave without a trace. Forgotten. Hidden. Lost forever. Known only to the author and those around him at the time. Sort of like our lives. Secrets die with us as do our mistakes and regrets. When we go, our slate at least on this earth is wiped clean ready for the next passerby to make his mark.
But what about those carvings on the tree? Those words forever etched on its bark. Ever revealing, never ceasing. Telling its story to everyone who passes it. Either beautifying it, or maiming it. Like our deeds. Our tangible acts. Did we leave behind a mountain of clothes, piles of shoes and a mass of unnecessary debt for our loved ones. Or did we create a garden for people to meander through. A library filled with knowledge to share. Perhaps shelter for the forgotten or healing for the broken.
I know I will eventually be erased through the sands of time. But I want my existence to have meaning. And most of all, I want that tree of deeds I carved to be my stairway to heaven.

I no longer buy greeting cards. I haven’t received one in the mail in years. I know precisely the moment they left my world, only I didn’t realise it then that it would be their final goodbye.
It was the day my mother died around 8 years ago. With her she took the art of sending these little messages of love. Her favourite pastime was to spend a considerable amount of time picking just the right one. She actually read them and chose the most beautiful ones. Birthdays, anniversaries, grandchildren’s birthdays, she never missed a single occasion.

Though thousands of miles separated us, a card from mama came enveloped in love. I knew that this card was handpicked with thought and care just for me. How could so much love be contained in a tiny piece of paper? But then that is the miracle of a mother.

The above picture is of her last card to me. It’s filled with prayers in her beautiful writing. I know she meant every word. She died just a few months later. And with her went the art of sending love in the mail. Now none of us sends each other cards. We just call or WhatsApp. Perhaps for us it’s too painful to send a card or get one that no longer has her writing. Or perhaps times have just changed. Either way I miss it. I miss my fireplace covered with a line of cards, and I miss going to the mail box and receiving something other than a bill.
A few years ago, a beloved aunt sent me a wedding card she had written that was meant to be given to me on my wedding day. It was never sent but she recently found it and mailed it out. I cherish it because of the sincere and loving sentiments behind it. Another time I received a letter from a long lost relative from India. I have never received a letter from India before nor did I know many there as my family migrated to Pakistan after partition. It was truly a thrill for me, I have reread it many times and I have kept that letter safely tucked away.

It’s not just my family who no longer sends outs cards, I know many others don’t as well. Its probably too much of a bother. First you have to go buy one, then you have to mail it. But maybe we should try reviving this tradition. Send someone an actual card or a letter today, they will be so surprised and they will feel so special because you made all that effort. Let’s retie those knots that bind families together stronger so that everyone everywhere knows that someone somewhere is thinking of them. I’ll be waiting………..

'How green was my valley?' Last summer I had the pleasure of visiting Northern Pakistan. The amateurish pictures I took on my phone capture a mere fraction of the beauty I witnessed. And yet what magnificence it was.
There is the Pakistan we see in the news with its perpetual problems, its politics and its policies. But there is also this Pakistan, this country that lives in my heart, its people run through the blood in my veins, its melodies stir memories in my soul.
I have never lived in Pakistan yet it holds my spirit captive. That sense of belonging resonates in every breath of air, in every step taken.
These pictures tell a story of my country as I want it to be, but also reveals the truth that if there truly is a heaven on earth then it is Pakistan. We just have to look for it. And just like we strive for Jannah in the after life, so too we Pakistanis no matter where we are need to work for it. With our hearts and minds we need to make Pakistan what it was meant to be. Our heaven on earth. Long live Pakistan!

31 times.............................................
'Fabi ayye aalahi rabbikuma tukazziban' is written in Surah Rehman 31 times.
31 times we are asked which of your lords favors will you deny.

31 times out of 78 in one surah of the Quran we are asked to consider our existence for what it is. Dependent on the Almighty and nothing else.

This calligraphy hangs in my home and is a source of pondering every time my eyes land on it. Its beauty lies in 'Fabi ayye aalahi rabbikuma tukazziban'. I am no scholar nor do I deem to possess superior knowledge, but even I can understand the simplicity of these words. Yet it's still complex. Count your blessings that Allah SWT has given you. But how can you count? that's what it is really telling us.
It's not just tangible blessings like health and wealth. It's also the blessings upon our souls.
The ability to survive the loss of our beloveds
To remember them in our hearts and minds.
To forgive those who broke you and to forget them.
To feel anger at injustice and strength to stand up against it.
To feel amused or curious, melancholy or elated
To feel love, laughter, rage and remorse. Such conflicting emotions in one body is the miracle which cannot be denied.

That Allah created me as a feeling human being and linked me in a chain to millions before and after me is a truth that must be accepted not just 31 times but infinitely.

All this thought from one piece of art that sits in my home. That too is a blessing. Is there something in your home that just takes you to that other level? Have a look around and do let me know!

In this day and age we must make this dua always for ourselves as well as others. Hakook al ibaad is one of the most important thing in the eyes Allah SWT.

When your clever friends think leaving a cooler at the edge of a lake will keep the drinks cold!! 🤣🤣😜😜😄😄😝😝🤪🤪

Not a stuffie but a pet Binky . Have you met our Binky Bunny? Who roams around our house like he rules the place. In truth he does!

‘Not all those who wander are lost.......’ You are all probably upto your ears in gorgeous pictures of fall. But i wanted to tell you about my new passion. Hiking. Or.....
Getting lost...
Or rather losing myself in Nature. Without a care in the world, without worrying that I am late for something. I’m not worrying about anyone else because those who are important to me are also lost with me. It’s a lost that is so carefree and serene.
And knowing......
Knowing that I’ll find my way back. That there is a path somewhere that will take me home. It may not be the same path that I went down, but it will be a path where I’ll see something new.
That’s also called faith......
Faith in Allah that in this particular instance I have nothing to fear. I have all that I need and if I don’t have things entirely in my control it’s ok. If I’m lost I’ll also be found.
And subhanallah......
Because well really what else can we say to this day and the countless others like it. Where you just can meander, and have the ability to do so, and the eyes to see the spectacular fireworks of colour that nature is showing us, and the sounds and the woody scents and breeze in your hair. And the people that surround you who are part of you. Your world is perfect. Your world is complete. And that my friends is.........
Alhamdulillah................

Today I went on a hike with some friends to the Niagara escarpment area. The lake was a turquoise colour that I have not seen before for this area. Very similar to the lakes in Banff or Lake Attabad in Northern Pakistan. It was just breathtaking.
It got me wondering as to why it was this way today, and I realized it was the sky, the partially cloudy partially sunny, gently drizzling sky. It make the lake more beautiful. It enhanced its qualities and improved it. It gave of itself to better the lake and the result was something spectacular. Together they made a good thing perfect.
Which brings me to my point. It is said you are known by the company you keep. So make sure those that surround you help you reach your full potential. That they reflect the goodness from within you and improve you. That they paint your life with the brightest and best of colours. That they bring you up and work with you and help you become the best of you.
A forest fire may seem powerful and majestic but all it does is burn everything in its path, and leave smoke and ashes behind.
So keep the company and be the company that creates something that makes people stop and stare in awe and wonder not run in the opposite direction. Be with those who build not break and your life will a thing of beauty.

It’s a little thing yet a big thing.... I used to be a voracious reader. Then life happened, gradually ‘goodnight moon’ replaced ‘A thousand splendid suns’ and phones took over pages at bedtime. Then I stopped reading altogether and books gathered dust. Until I decided I needed a new bookshelf. A work in progress but I’m slowly moving my books into this little guy and I discovered that I seemed to have a preference for South Asian writers. Not the big writers necessarily but any and all. Perhaps it was an effort over the years to keep in touch with my language, traditions and cultures through the words of others. I plan to rediscover them slowly. Like meeting long lost friends, one at a time relishing in the reunion! P.S willing to loan out to others....

I've never blogged before. So bear with me as I figure things out. I'm not even sure why I am doing it other than the fact that I have a sudden burning desire to learn something new and get with the times. Mid life crisis perhaps? in which case it's a fairly harmless one. Atleast it should be. Unless I mess up......but I'll deal with that when it comes up. For now, its going to be random ramblings about day to day things. Think of it as tiktok in words.