Lucas Forstmeyer
I am teaching an approach to personal growth called "The Unfolding Self". I help people finding new w
20/06/2023
Introduction to IFS Videos are now UPDATED
https://lucasforstmeyer.com/introduction-ifs-video-course/
If you are reading this, chances are high you are learning Parts Work and have used my IFS videos to help you.
But by now, the videos are old, outdated and my teaching of the content has advanced a lot.
That is why I want to share my new version of the videos with you: Explaining IFS in theory and practice - using simple drawings.
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we explore how to talk about Talents and Strengths - in teams and in relationships:
- How can we learn the words and language to talk about talents?
- How is it helpful for ourselves to speak "for our" talents - and thus for what we need and want?
- And how can it help teams to perform better when people express their needs and energies?
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
0:00 - Intro
1:40 - body-friendly and trauma-friendly language
6:30 - Permission to go to the body
9:30 - What is body-friendly language
18:55 - Exploring somatic Parts Work
28:30 - A spontaneous Demonstration of Somatic Parts Work
42:00 - Zen and the Body
47:40 - Welcoming Resistance
52:00 - Trusting the System
59:15 - Connecting Zen and body-friendly Language
Nick Pole has been practising, teaching and writing about shiatsu for twenty years. Over time he has worked deeply on integrating language with Bodywork. Through Clean Language, he has developed a simple approach to including Language that speaks to the body in his sessions - and written the book “Words that touch” about it.
He is happy to respond to Emails if you have any questions.
https://nickpole.com/
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we explore how Talents and Strengths show up in children:
- How early can we recognise Talents in children?
- Do children with different Talents develop differently?
- How do values and needs of developmental stages influence Talents?
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Tamsin Hartley we explore her approach to personal growth called "The Listening Space":
- Why do we need Mindfulness for change?
- How can Metaphors help us create lasting change?
- And how can we support each other using Clean Questions?
Tamsin Hartley is teaching The Listening Space, an approach for personal growth that can be used in group and individual sessions. https://www.thelisteningspace.co.uk/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In diesem Gespräch mit Maria Illgen erforschen wir die Verbindung von Sprache und Berührung:
- Was ist "Clean Language" und warum eignet sich dieser Ansatz für die Integration mit Körperarbeit?
- Was ist Marias Pfad mit Shiatsu?
- Was sind die Potentiale für die Arbeit mit dem KÖrper und der Lebenskraft durch Berührung und einfache Fragen?
Maria Illgen arbeitet in eigener Praxis in Berlin. Sie verbindet Shiatsu mit Clean Language mit der Ausrichtung Menschen in Lebendigkeit und Ganz-Sein zu unterstützen. https://www.shiatsu-rixdorf.de/ueber-mich/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
0:00 - Intro
0:51 - Example and What is Clean Language?
13:50 - When to use Clean Language
21:49 - Respecting Client’s Space and Demonstration
33:40 - Endless Depth and Subtlty
37:17 - Polyvagal and Clean Language
42:41 - Flow of Sessions with Clean Language
48:20 - Trauma & body-friendly Language
54:24 - Clean Language for Body-Mind Practitioners
58:32 - Getting Started with Clean
1:05:58 - Giving Power to Bodyworkers
Nick Pole has been practising, teaching and writing about shiatsu for twenty years. Over time he has worked deeply on integrating language with Bodywork. Through Clean Language, he has developed a simple approach to including Language that speaks to the body in his sessions - and written the book “Words that touch” about it.
He is happy to respond to Emails if you have any questions.
https://nickpole.com/
In this short clip IFS with Ruth Culver and Lucas Forstmeyer explore how an understanding of the Polyvagal Theory and how the Body works can help with
- Psychoeducation
- Self-Compassion
- Strong emotions..
Ruth works with adults and teenagers to help increase their self-confidence, health and happiness. She combines her training in Hypnotherapy and IFS with a deep appreciation for the Body and Nervous System. She is the Creator of the "Survive - Thrive Spiral". Her Website is https://calmheart.co.uk/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this short clip with Ruth Culver explains how IFS and the Polyvagal Theory understanding of our nervous system fit together.
Ruth works with adults and teenagers to help increase their self-confidence, health and happiness. She combines her training in Hypnotherapy and IFS with a deep appreciation for the Body and Nervous System. She is the Creator of the "Survive - Thrive Spiral". Her Website is https://calmheart.co.uk/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In diesem Gespräch mit Florian Schäffler unterhalten wir uns über Feldenkrais, Verkörperung und den langen Weg der Integration:
- Was ist Feldenkrais?
- Was ist die Feldenkrais-Perspektive auf Veränderung?
- Wie helfen uns körperliche Praktiken zu mehr Präsenz?
- Und wie hängt all das mit unseren Anteilen und unserem Selbst zusammen?
Florian Schäffler ist seit 25 Jahren Feldenkrais Practitioner. Er lehrt in Berlin. Seine Website ist: http://www.feldenkrais-mitte.de/
Lucas Forstmeyer unterrichtet Online-Kurse für Teile-Arbeit - sowohl für Coaches als auch Selbst-Coaching. Seine Website ist: lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we explore the connection between Life-Force and Talents:
- What does it mean that your Talents "Energize" you? And where does that energy come from?
- If we are all built differently, how can we serve ourselves and the world using our talents?
- How can we use our Life-Force to move Projects and the world forwards?
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Mark Walsh we explore Embodiment to manage our state AND make change stick:
- What is (ABC) Centering and how does it work?
- How can we learn to regulate our systems better?
- What does it take to make change and embodied transformation stick and become a natural part of our life?
- And what can we do to speed up this process?
Mark Walsh has decades of experience in the field of Embodiment. He is the founder of the Embodiment Conference and Embodied Facilitator Training - combining many fields of somatic learning and transformation. You can find out about his work and offers here: https://embodiedfacilitator.com/uk/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Ruth Culver we explore the connection between IFS and the modern Science of Trauma:
- How does the Activity of Parts influence our nervous system?
- How does the general Activation of our System influence the activity of our Parts?
- What are the different strategies Parts use to avoid pain - and how do they correlate with the different Polyvagal states?
- And how do Exiles and the Self fit in there?
Ruth works with adults and teenagers to help increase their self-confidence, health and happiness. She combines her training in Hypnotherapy and IFS with a deep appreciation for the Body and Nervous System. She is the Creator of the "Survive - Thrive Spiral". Her Website is https://calmheart.co.uk/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.comRuth Coaching
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we explore how to take the Strength Based approach to the maximum:
- What does it mean to build a team based on strengths? (And what makes it difficult)
- How can we discern between the core business and the development of new products?
- How to benefit from the fact that we all have energy for different things
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we explore how understanding Talents and Strengths can make Teams more productive and powerful:
- How do our Talents impact the work we do in Teams?
- What is the difference between our Position (e.g. CEO) and Role (e.g. Problem-Solver) in a company?
- What are real life case examples of this?
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
This is the fourth conversation I had with Stas Pstrokonski of Education Bookcast.
We were talking about how teaching works - How do you teach people knowledge but more importantly skills in a sustainable way?
For that we cover different topics from Chemistry to Ballroom Dancing.
In this conversation with Miriam van Groen we talk about Guided Tripping:
- How can Psychedelics help people?
- What does it take for a companion to support them?
- What do Psychedelics do?
- And is it as fun as it sounds?
Miriam van Groen accompanies people on their psychedelic trips. Her quest is to support people towards their deeper possibilities. She is also very caring. Her website is https://www.guidedtripping.com/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we talk about Coaching:
- Why would any person get a Coach?
- What is the goal of a good Coach?
- What skills do you need?
- And why did you not fail, even if your Clients do NOT reach their goals??
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Liesel Teversham we talk about the intersection between Inner Work and Strength Coaching:
- How is personal Healing different from Strength based Coaching?
- How can Trauma and old pain negatively impact our Talents?
- And why conscious healing can be considered the deepest form of Self-Management.
Liesel Teversham supports sensitive and empathic entrepreneurs by helping them discover how to use their unique strengths and let go of old patterns that are holding them back. https://savvyselfgrowth.com/about/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we talk about Gallup STRENGTHS (again):
- Why do Strengths give us Energy and Weaknesses drain us?
- How can Talents turn into detriments?
- What does it take to turn our raw Talents into Mature Strengths?
- And how is living a good life like playing in a band?
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Nikolas Scholz we talk about Parasocial Relationships:
- What on earth are Parasocial Relationships?
- How do new content-forms like VLOGS and Streaming support this relationship
- What are the power-dynamics and social rules of Parasocial Relationships?
- And how does it relate to loneliness and social awkwardness?
Nikolas Scholz is a trained physicist, Coach and Psychotherapist in training. He focuses on helping people find clarity in situations of change and inner turmoil. He does not have a website, but answers questions on quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Nikolas-Scholz
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Dries Lombaard we talk about STRENGTHS:
- Why we should build our life on our Talents and Strengths (and what to do if this is not possible)
- How to understand the Strength Formula (Talent + Knowledge + Skill + Time = Strength)
- How to manage ourselves, our Needs and Talents so they actually support us
- And why life is a bit like a continuous game of golf
Dries Lombaard has been in the field of Strengths-Coaching for more than 20 years and the Author of "Launch your Brilliance". He has lead everything from Team Building, Executive Coaching to Training Programs in this field. In addition to being highly results driven he uses his Strengths for deep thinking understand what strengths actually are and how to use them. His Website is: https://www.strengthsynergy.co.za/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Liesel Teversham we talk about STRENGTHS:
- Comparing Strengths and Talent
- Strengths as "Natural Energy" and "Abilities built over time"
- How to cultivate our strengths for easier living
Liesel Teversham supports sensitive and empathic entrepreneurs by helping them discover how to use their unique strengths and let go of old patterns that are holding them back. https://savvyselfgrowth.com/about/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
In this conversation with Liesel Teversham we talk about STRENGTHS:
- What does it mean that we all have different strengths?
- How can we use our strengths in our life?
- And why can this make life EASY?
Liesel Teversham support sensitive and empathic entrepreneurs by helping them discover how to use their unique strengths and let go of old patterns that are holding them back. https://savvyselfgrowth.com/about/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
This is the eleventh conversation of the Listening from Self Podcast.
I talk with Markus Herberholt and we cover topics like enlightenment (really), freedom, what it means to integrate our deepest experiences and insights - and why it is hard.
Markus Herberholt does consciousness work - through movement, workshops and sometimes executive coaching. His intention is for people to become aware of who they really are and to live from this deeper realization. His website is http://www.markusherberholt.de/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
This is the third conversation I had with Stas Pstrokonski of Education Bookcast. We are still working on a simple model of our Mind to understand learning, transformation etc. using Cognitive Science.
In this conversation, we focused on understanding unconscious thinking and learning compared to implicit / unconscious learning and deciding. We end up with the question what classical education is actually teaching us - and if it helps in our daily life?
I hope you enjoy!
This is the sixth conversation of the Listening from Self Podcast.
Find the audio version here: https://anchor.fm/lucas-forstmeyer
With Ruth Toledo Altschuler I talk about her understanding & exploration of archetypes using flower essences, her approach to support people in their creativity, the individual unfolding of deeper layers of our Self and the difference between Self as a Resource and Self as itself.
Ruth Toledo Altschuler is a Flower Essence Practitioner and Educator. She has more than 30 years experience with Flower Essences, archetypes, mentoring and supporting people in their emotional patterns. You can find her work here: https://essencementoring.com/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
This is the fifth conversation of the Listening from Self Podcast.
Find the audio version here: https://anchor.fm/lucas-forstmeyer
With Jeremy Gildman I talk about his exploration of masculinity, the Drama Triangle, subtle shifts in consciousness and my experience with Corona in Germany.
Jeremy Gildman is a counselor who focuses on supporting men around their masculinity and the changes during fatherhood. You can find his work under https://www.truthandlovecounseling.com/
Lucas Forstmeyer is leading Online Courses, Groups and Sessions teaching people to connect with themselves and others from a deeper sense of Self. His work focuses on Intimacy, Productivity and work with the Inner Critic. His Website is https://lucasforstmeyer.com
Our SELF is our biggest resource (and much more than that)
Imagine for a moment: What if there was a “place” in each one of us that could meet any real-life situation, any other person and any part in you from a place of
* calm?
* compassion?
* curiosity?
What if this place could never be lost and would not have to be trained (though we could certainly deepen into it)?
How would this change our perspective of ourselves, other people and our potential for healing?
Well… I am here to make the claim that it is true: We all have this place. I call it Self (in accordance with the Internal Family System Model of the Psyche).
And the claim for this article: This Self is always present (though it may not be experienced right now) and it should be an explicit part of our inner work to connect with it in our sessions and journaling.
Why? Because this Self is the biggest Resource we have for being with, healing and helping any part of us. If we can meet any challenge in our life, any part from Self and with Self-Energy the relationship to it instantly shifts into one that supports and creates healing, transformation and connection.
This is exactly what my personal experiences show and IFS explicitly talks about:
- Each person has a Self
- Each Self has specific intrinsic qualities (compassion, connectedness… going along with most spiritual traditions)
- And it can play an active role in our Psyche and Life.
When I or a client are connected to our Self - or are “in Self” as IFS often terms it - things are possible that were unthinkable moments earlier: We are open towards parts that were hated, feared or looked down upon. And from this openness we suddenly understand the Parts and can help them let go of old Burdens and Trauma.
The same is true for Relationships and situations in our daily life.
In short: Self is pretty powerful. And having the experience of unblending from Parts and being in Self can change the view we have of ourselves and our life fundamentally.
That is why I am so passionate about it.
And if you have read this far: What are your experiences with Self? And how are you connecting with it regularly?
Until next time!
I PREPARE TO BE PREPARED
Not to 100% follow my plan.
I have noticed this pattern for a long time but it was only yesterday that I found words for it:
Whenever I lead a workshop or session I prepare for it.
I will make a plan. I will think of exercises or approaches I could use.
Then as soon as the event starts all of that is out of the window. Not because I forgot it - but because I am adjusting, rolling with the punches and doing what is alive in the moment.
It often left me frustrated and wondering if it was smarter to just show up unprepared.
Until yesterday, where I realized: I am not preparing a plan - I am preparing myself. I am preparing myself so that I am prepared. (Sounds simple but is actually quite profound…)
I am doing the work beforehand so that I am ready for Sessions and Workshops mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
The result of preparations is not the plan but me being ready and dialed in to do whatever is needed in the moment.
I was very attached to Transformation:
My personal journey with Self Care and Regulation
I used to think of everything as a “chance to grow”: If these negative emotions are there now, I need to feel them as deeply as possible and explore what this is about. Then I can heal this. Then everything will be better.
Not only did I put a lot of pressure on myself, harm relationships with this attachment to needing to change... it also did not work very well.
I thought it did. I gained all these “great insights” through it. But not very much changed on an objective level of how I acted and felt most of the time.
It was only through my deepening understanding of our Nervous System, the impact regulation has on our Thinking and Feeling that I understood what else might be needed for me: SELF-CARE and SELF-REGULATION.
And boy did I not like it at first.
The first hard pill to swallow is that “making myself feel better” (which is how I first understood regulation) ain’t that easy. Knowing how to calm my nervous system, how to get out of Fight-Flight responses… that is a real skill.
Self-Care in a deeper sense is an essential skillset of being an adult. And I was not that good at it.
For me, Self-Care means consciously doing the things that help my system (nervous system, emotions, obsessive thoughts etc) to calm down - to return to a state of presence.
It is not about purely doing things that outwardly look nice. It is about that genuine relaxing of the system.
And I find that it is actually a needed skill for a fulfilling and productive life. We do not always have the time to dive into our deepest emotions and childhood pain. It is not always appropriate to do that.
And yet if we want to have any sort of impact in the world we will need to get s**t done.
It took me a while to get there - but I now see it as a noble art.
How the Psyche is organised around childhood burdens (Exiles) - and what we can do about it
This video gives an introduction to Parts-Psychology.
It gives a systematic overview of our psychological system focusing on the following questions:
* How do overwhelming experiences create lasting emotional and psychological burdens?
* How does our Psyche and how do our other parts react to these burdens? (And why this is actually really smart!)
* And how we can heal these parts and burdens from the past now that we are adults.
I am trying a new form of content here using simple drawings. So if you like this, please let me know!
I hope you enjoy this video and it is helpful for you.
Videos (show all)
