Abyss of Love

"I choose to love you in silence
for in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness…
for in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance…
for distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind…
for the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams…
for in my dreams, you have no end.."

🍂

I hope you never get tired of loving me. No matter what happens to us, I hope you still choose to stay with me. I know that I am not perfect. I'm sorry for all the times that I hurt you unintentionally. But I want you to know that I never want to lose you. I still love you even though there are so many times where you break my heart and make me sad. I hope one day you'll finally realize how much you mean to me. I want you to know that even if you hate me sometimes, I will still love you with all my heart. I cannot promise you that things will get better soon, but I will try my best to make you feel loved and valued.

We've come to a point where we want to give up on each other, but I silently wish that you would still hold me tight and never let me go. I'm sorry for giving you reasons to hate me. I hope you still find love in your heart and choose to fight for me. But if one day you finally decide to give up on me, I hope you will still remember how much I love you. I hope you will still remember how much I hold onto you just so I can never lose you. If one day you finally leave me, I want to say sorry for not being enough for you. I'm sorry if I fail to make you stay.

— 💚

This is why she's single.

She is saving herself for someone who has genuine intentions with her from the very first conversation.

She does crave love and affection, but she is at the point in her life where she isn't going to let temporary people touch her mind, body or soul.

She is done having shallow conversations with people who didn't deserve her precious time in the first place.

Throughout the years, she has experienced trauma that has taken an unfortunate toll on her mental health, and she will never settle for someone who will make her question her own selfworth ever again.

She knows how valuable her life is, and she isn't afraid to continue on this journey alone because she is done with false fronts from people with hidden agendas.

The truth is ......

She's the true definition of an anomaly in this generation, and her elegant heart has more love to give than the number of synapses in the human brain, and let's not forget her soul....

Her soul reaches beyond the stars into galaxies that will be unknown for centuries to come.

🧡

I want to make myself proud someday. I want to see myself happy after all the heartaches that I've been through. Nobody knows how much pain I've suffered, and nobody knows how many times I cried at night just because I was too lonely. After all that I've been through, I know that I deserve to forget all the pain that I have received from people. I deserve to be happy after being sad for how many years, and I deserve to sleep at night with a peaceful mind.

I'll make myself proud by surviving my silent battles. Even though I don't talk about my pain to anyone, I would show everyone that I am a strong person who never gives up. Someday, I will find happiness, and no one can ever stop me. I know that I deserve it. I've been really kind to people, and there is no reason for me to deserve all the heartbreak and sadness that I've received. I want to claim what I deserve. I don't want to settle for the misery of life. And that is why I will do everything to be okay. Even if it's hard, and even if I am still hurting right now, I'm going to tell myself that it's okay. Someday, everything will be alright— and that includes me.

🩵

This is not losing, it's actually winning. God moves away people with bad intentions from your path to replace them with people who know your worth ( permanent, honest and real) ones so when someone walks away from us it's not because we're somehow imperfect, not at all, it's because they didn't manage earning us the way we deserve to be earned 💚🦋

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗵è𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻. 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲’𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗵è𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺...🍁

Let people you love go, if it is the right thing to do. You have to give space to a flower in order for it to grow better; and often it needs not just cutting bushes but also some of its branches.

You have to cut some people out of your life if they hinder your growth. Even if they are dearest to you; and it is the hardest thing to do. You will feel the wounds after the trimmings; you will carry the scars and remember the people that were once attached to you; you will grieve that you did not choose them to stay.

After all the cutting of warped branches you will realize, many better things grow: greener leaves come out, more colorful blooms spring, stronger stems shoot.

You will meet new people, find greater opportunities and grow taller, deeper and firmer. Plot twist: all the things that were taken from you remained down your shade — the branches grew on its own, the people you have lost now become better on their own.

It is you who can decide to connect to them once again, because you are now ready and prepared to settle things the way you know about; to invest time and effort to the right places; and to love once more or find a new one that can bear you more fruits.

Grow, and grow where, when, and who you can grow better with.

🌻

I thought you would always be the one I could count on that would stand up for me when things got though.
I’d always believed you would fight for me because of how you felt about me.
Turns out, I was wrong.
While I know we’d had some rough times of late, our relationship had a lot of truly beautiful moments too..
Or had you forgotten those, too?
When I needed you most, when things were the hardest..you just turned your back on me.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so hurt in my life.
I just couldn’t believe the one person that I thought would always be there..wasn’t.
You just chose to walk away rather than fight for me, for us?
I ask myself a million questions trying to understand how you could do that..and honestly, I don’t know.
I may never know.
Maybe you didn’t feel as strongly about me as you claimed, maybe something changed..or maybe you just fed me some words to make me believe we were the real thing.
I don’t know. I’m just so hurt-I’m beyond pain, I’m numb.
I don’t know where to turn or what to think, I’m completely lost.
This wasn’t supposed to be how things were meant to turnout.
Part of me has always believed you were the one and that my search was over..
And now I’m just feeling dumb as you left me holding pieces of my broken heart..
But when everything came crashing down around me , you were nowhere to be found..
So, I did what I never thought I could do and stood up for myself..
I fought for me when I didn’t even think I had that strength in me.
Sometimes, your story doesn’t give you a choice and that’s exactly where you walked out on me..
So, I did whatever I had to do to survive.
It’s hard, I’m not going to lie -there’s so many days that I want to quit, but I’d rather be out here struggling by myself than depending on someone who walks out when things get hard.
I’m done with that.
I’m sure you have your reasons and what you told everyone else, but you never even bothered to explain it to me..
The one person you should have told first, you didn’t even think I was worth the effort.
I guess it’s better to find out now than many years down the road, but it still hurts all the same.
I know I’ll be fine eventually, because your cowardice reminded me of strength I didn’t know I had.
I’m strong enough, brave enough and courageous enough to pull through this with my head held high.
Maybe you walked out when the going got tough,
But the tough just made me get going.
I guess I should thank you for showing me the way back home to myself, but I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive you for what you did to me.
Doesn’t really matter, because I’m in a better place now.
Where you once left a girl to fend for herself without a thought to how she’d make it.
There now stands a strong woman..
With a heart of gold and a fiery spirit.
Some warriors are born..
This one was forged in the fire.
I was made for this..
Strong, beautiful and finally free.
🌺

I know it hurts.

It’s a very strange feeling how someone can be in your life for months or even years and then one day ... all of a sudden not be there anymore.

Maybe the relationship ended on good terms.... or maybe it was completely catastrophic.

Either way .... it’s so bizarre how relationships can change so vast and rapidly.

And you know what .... you may not be at peace with what happened between the two of you ... and thats perfectly fine.

Sometimes the end of a relationship can literally be one of the hardest things we go through in life.

I want you to know it’s okay that your heart still hurts because of what happened.

You have made alot of memories with this person.

And these memories that you have made is something you can’t erase no matter how hard you try.

Whether you like it or not, they are a part of your story.

I know looking on these memories can be hard, and you may wish you could forget them.

But instead of forgetting, maybe we should try to focus on what came from the relationship.

You two joined paths for a particular reason.

Maybe you walked through some of the hardest times together.

Maybe you understood each other in a way no one else ever did.

Maybe you encouraged one another to be strong or to embrace who you genuinely were as a person.

Or maybe your relationship with them opened your eyes to what you truly needed in your life.

Regardless of what the reasoning was, it’s okay to acknowledge that .... that person meant a lot to you.

And it's okay if they still do.

It’s also okay that they aren’t in your life anymore.

What alot of people dont understand is, not every relationship we encounter will last a lifetime.

You shouldn't be lingering in the past questioning why everything happened the way it did.

What you need to do. is to take what you've learned from that relationship and move forward in your life.

Knowing there are other relationships that will give you exactly what you've always dreamed of and more.

I need you to know that you're not going to feel this way forever.

You will continue to move forward and you will continue to grow with everyday that passes.

Take my advice and remember.

Sometimes the people you wanted as part of your story, are only meant to be a chapter.

🍁

Dear couples:
When you're in a relationship you're going to argue You're going to have trust issues, jealousy, break-ups& even make-ups.
Yes, you're going to cry, fight have haters, & even people that's trying break you up !!!
Ex's calling saying they want you back boring conversations and heated arguments & hurtful words being said that you don't even mean.
But no matter what you go through, no matter what people think or say about you, always be there for each other, loving, caring, understanding, communicating and forgiving each other's wrong doings above All Put God first and ask for directions through prayers.
Cause true love isn't easy & easy love isn't true..🩵

Do you ever miss me
As I miss u?
Do you even think of me
Like the way you used to?
Are you also broken
And yearn to be together
Just Like I do?
Or have you moved on
Without even caring to look back, have you?

Was it lies when u told me you cared
Or that you missed me when I wasn’t there
I don’t know what to do anymore with myself
I’m so lost in pain and despair

I hope you were not using me like I felt you did
To fill a void when no one was around instead
I really thought we were meant for each other
Until you showed me your true colors

What started with deep conversations
Ended in small talk
I never could understand
What really drove us apart
I finally snapped trying to make it work
I guess I chose my sanity and peace over your quirks

You don’t know how much you meant to me to get thru the day
Now, I’m so empty , I just wish you would have stayed
You were the only one to give me joy, as well as sadness
How I wish to get out of this madness!

Now, I have nothing but hope to lean on
And memories of you.. now that you are gone
I hope we will be together some day
Even if it is never meant to be.. I’d still stay

I long to hear a word from you
Saying’Babe, I miss you too
Can we leave the past and be together again?
Cos life without you
Is never the same again”

🩵

Thank you 🙂

All posts come straight from the heart of someone that is always willing to forgive, forget, and truly love again. 🩷