We won't be silenced

[Image description of a Twitter screenshot: written by Dr. Nicole LePera AKA
"You're healing when inconsistent, immature, and impulsive behavior is no longer intriguing or attractive. You're not up for the challenge of taming or changing someone.
You want mature partnership because you are fully aware of what you have to offer."]

Parenting Through The Fog

Stop taking children's belongings away to teach or punish!

If I get mad and throw my phone, no one is going to take my phone away from me. If I speak to someone in a way they dont like or refuse to do what someone else wants me to do, no one is going to come into my home and take my stuff.

And before we get to extremes like reposession ect, do you really truly believe that the ONLY way to teach is to do something that hurts them, even emotionally? Collaboration is far more effective in the long term, and provides them with skills in the long term that taking things away doesnt.

Adults hold financial power over children and so many choose to use that financial power to gain compliance. Dont do what I want you to do, you lose your access to your own things. So often I see the mindset of "its my house and i make the money" or "im the one that bought it". That is using our financial power in harmful ways. How welcome and safe in their own home can a child feel if the fact that they are unable to contribute to the income of the home means that they lose their own belongings?

As peaceful and conscious parents, we should always be open to the idea that there is a different way, a way that doesn't involve using power that we inherently hold over someone to get them to do what we want.

Your child's belongings are theirs, and should be theirs unconditionally. They are human beings. Let's start treating them like they are.

[Edit to add: In light of the overwhelming response from everyone on this post, I've created a workshop on Collaboration and Problem Solving!

I will do my best to address the comments on the post, but please keep in mind i am only human and the response on this post is large, so taking some time for self care in between engaging is sometimes necessary, especially because I have kids of my own who need me too

This meme is a quote taken from the following blog post:

https://www.inheritancemag.com/stories/why-i-stopped-talking-about-racial-reconciliation-and-started-talking-about-white-supremacy

We won't be silenced updated their info in the about section.

Some people get both these scenarios way too well.