Wbypod

Be aware of the narration we tell ourselves about others. Sometimes out of our own desperation to fit in (insecurity) we ignore many red flags because we want something so badly. This is how we FORCE things to happen. This isn't the universe unraveling something for you. We will get so excited about finding our idea that we put in our head, that we actually do not see them for what they are. This is often how toxic cycles start in friendships and relationships. This is how one-sided relationships start.
We must pause and ask ourselves some questions. How do they treat me? How do they treat their family? How do they treat their friends? How do they treat a stranger? Do they call you? Do they include you? Do they put in as much effort? Is it 50/50?
Have you done this? I have. I have so many times, it's humiliating. I NO LONGER FIGHT FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE GIVING ME THE BARE-ASS MINIMUM.

Something I wish I knew decades ago is to trust what the universe presents to you. Although I thought I was doing that, I wasn’t. I was forcing, and holding onto narratives I told myself. I held onto my attachments, like strings to connected to my heart. I wasn’t capable of just giving things time because I didn’t want to accept that people didn’t like/love me. The rejection hurt.
Now I look back at how my life could have ended up. I am so grateful for the gifts I didn’t know that was presented to me. The universe kept telling me the same message and it’s just now that I can hear it.
Be careful what relationships you fight for. You might end up in them forever.

In every interaction, in every single day, you are verbally and non-verbally coaching others on how to treat you. If someone treats you unfairly, and you didn't stand up for yourself, you might blame the other person for treating you wrongly and they may have done so. If you allow others to treat you unfairly, it signifies on an unconscious level that you feel unworthy. A person with strong self-worth would recognize the behavior as unfair and respectfully set a boundary. Being assertive does not involve being mean-spirited, it means valuing your self-worth and upholding this as a reminder to others. The more we practice this, the less uncomfortable it feels.

IT IS MINDY DAY TODAY!!!

Mindy is someone that I have known for over 20 years (which is crazy). In her story, you will learn about what's it's like to be the child of an addict. You often fall into roles unknowingly and find yourself a child of neglect. Sometimes when your parent has an addiction problem, out of the sheer cycle of addiction, you end up being in a relationship and even marriage with what you are comfortable with, another addict. You also hear why she found herself wanting to be so independent as a child, which helped her cope when facing the biggest challenge of her life. Mindy also shares the impact of what losing her mother was like.

Mindy's ability to understand so fast the role she played as a child and an adult is admirable. She wasn't scared to change her co-dependent ways. She was/is brave enough to get help when she needed it in the depth of her crisis. She is extraordinary because Mindy broke the cycle!

Mindy is determined, motivated, and brave. We rarely hear someone be intentional and understand how the cycles and roles of addictions get passed on to the children in the family. And be healthy and smart enough to stop it! Mindy is a REAL LIFE superhero!

Mindy's Non-profit: https://www.facebook.com/arttatumzone/

Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

As another white person, I do my best to continue to fight against white supremacy and educate myself to be better. I am not at all better than anyone here and I still have a lot to learn.
Every time I see a white person posting their vaccination card on social media, my stomach turns. The inability to see what that must feel like for a s**t ton of BIPOC that have also struggled (even more so) to get through this pandemic in a system that deliberately works against them since they were born makes me so sick.
And if you say, “I am a nurse, teacher, doctor, etc etc”, thank you for making that career choice. We need you so much. So so so much! Your privilege also helped you get there as well. It’s apart of everything that has lead you to taking that picture!
White people, please be better! I say this from a compassionate state. If you want to post your vaccine photo, that’s cool but acknowledge your privilege, please.
Please. Acknowledge. Your. Privilege. Everyday. Acknowledge it!

Have you ever experienced this? I have experienced and absolutely have done it. I recently noticed it in the fitness/gym/body image culture, but it is everywhere. Something to think about. Something to notice. Something to change.

It is Grace El Day!!

"When I woke up I knew something happened because you feel it in your body." ~Grace El

Grace contacted me via social media to share her story. This brave human got on zoom with me and told me her story!

Like Sara, my last guest, She also is a twin! Her biological father abandoned them when they were young. She went through an unheard-of amount of betrayal by people that continuously told her they were her friend. Because she is such an adaptable human being, she found herself bouncing from city to city after being in the military. Through this experience, she found herself quickly in survival mode again and again. Grace opens her heart as the story goes on. She talks about being assaulted by "friends," sleeping on couch after couch until she finally loses herself enough to know she needs help. Grace shows us her courage as she attempts to lose co-dependency and find a way to live for herself again.

Grace's story unravels; the more you go into it, the more she reveals. Grace is kind, determined, funny, and loyal.

Grace El's Non-profit: https://www.embracingmynatural.org/ #:~:text=Embracing%20My%20Natural%2C%20Inc.%20is,up%20on%20their%20natural%20hair

Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

It's Sara day today!!!!

Sara is someone who emailed me her story after my first podcast release. I could tell she was eager to share. I could tell that she needed to share. We recorded this year, and her story is heartbreaking. It's longer than our usual recordings, but her life story is amazing. Sara has overcome molestation, multiple assaults (one of which was recent), homelessness (even as a teen), multiple near-death experiences, addictions, and was even jailed as a minor. At one point in her teens, she found herself at an infamous serial killer's farm in Vancouver B.C. (Pickton Farms). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pickton

Sara explains how the police have never helped her, have never served her, or treated her with any kind of safety in mind. Sara is brave, relentless, kind, and compassionate. Sara has overcome a tremendous amount of trauma and is brave to face it and heal.

Sara's Non-profit: https://secure3.convio.net/surrey/site/Donation2?df_id=1721&1721.donation=form1&mfc_pref=T

Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

‎WBYPod on Apple Podcasts ‎Mental Health · 2021

It's Jenna Day today!
Jenna shares her life with us. After watching her mother fall into addiction problems, she found herself in a caretaker role for her entire family. After running to her dad's house at 16 years old, she finds herself dealing with her step-mom, who also battled an addiction problem.

She had to make challenging adult decisions at a very young age to keep her head afloat. She found herself having to live with her childhood sweetheart's family to escape the difficulties of her family of origin. She experiences an assault as a minor and shares what it was like to tell the authorities. As she is trying to heal, she discovers that her parents that have been divorced since she was younger, have both developed cancer.
You will hear how all the unresolved trauma unravels into becoming an adult as she stays with her childhood sweetheart and how that ends up for her. She never had time to process one thing before another thing would hit her. Jenna is so funny. She finds the light in any darkness.

Jenna's Non-profit: https://www.glitsinc.org/

Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

I cannot thank my guests that came on my podcast this year enough. Without each of these individuals coming forward to share their stories, I would not have this podcast. Some were my friends, some were strangers, all were absolutely brave and bold. Being able to stand witness to each of your stories was an honor for me. I have endless gratitude to you. Endless. You are all the best!
Rachel, Sophia, AJ, Leigh, Dan, Anna, Meredith, Mandy, Crystal, Damon, Liz, Joanne, Julia, and Andy: THANK YOU!
Cheers to 2021! Cheers to more healing, more guests, more sharing, and more LOVE!

I am going to be doing a Facebook today at 4:30 PST with Michelle Dixon - Emotional Healing for her private group for a FREE Emotional Detox to talk about the pod, trauma, and power of storytelling! The Detox is so good!

You must register to be apart of it. The link is here:
https://michelle-dixon.mykajabi.com/emotional-detox-online-retreat

Emotional Detox - Free Online Retreat This December, I'm offering you a free online program and community for support in order to detox emotionally, set healthy boundaries around toxic people and situations, find new joy, and be ready to reach your goals for 2021.

It's Andy day today!!! NEW EPISODE ALERT! LINK IN COMMENTS!
Andy talks about his childhood and the turmoil a divorce brings on a child, what religion can do to the perceptions of our foundation, how easy it is to be taken advantage of in the music industry, you will hear how even as an adult white hetero man assault can still happen even in the safe place and how you hear how all of this lead to Andy to a substance abuse problem that he now getting help for now. Andy is brave, relentless, and extremely kind and is working on breaking the patterns to live a healthier life for himself. Most of all Andy is an amazing musician and he also allows me to share one of his most recent songs and it is absolutely beautiful!

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

It's Mandy Day AGAIN! Mandy is our first returning guest. Mandy was on Season 1 where she shared the newly discovered childhood trauma that she had just found out about in Spring 2019. She told us how she discovered it, how it has affected her thus far, and what she was doing to heal. If you haven't listened to it, you should totally do that now. This is a follow-up. We often never get to hear someone's pathway to healing. Sometimes we don't shake trees because we don't know what will come with it. We don't know what's on the other side. Mandy shares her journey with us, and it's extremely insightful. She tells us what has happened since and talks about her rebirth into the person she is today. Mandy is a brave, courageous healer, and a complete badass!

Thank you for listening!

Mandy’s personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandytigre/?hl=en

Mandy’s Business Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bodymechanicspdx/?hl=en

Mandy’s Business: http://pilatespdx.com/

Mandy’s Non-profit: http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/

Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Production by Neeraj Srinivasan: https://www.instagram.com/mynipsdontlie/?hl=en
Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

Thank you brainbodydoc for this image!
Anyone else working on the good ole “reframing”? This is a very hard thing to remember in the moments when you need it most. Should I reframe that? Idk.
When I feel escalated in any way, I say “PR” to myself. It’s “pause and reframe”. It helps the majority of the time when I can remember or when I am calm enough to take action. It’s so hard. Like really really hard. Should I reframe that? Lololololol.

NEW EPISODE ALERT!
It's with Juliaphoenixeleven and it's amazing!

Recorded over the summer, Julia shares her unique story of being born into a cult, and how that manifested into complex trauma. She bravely shares all the repression she felt, what it felt like to be gaslit by her own family, and how that led her down the road to an addiction and eating disorders. You'll get to hear her talk about her recovery, which is so absolutely beautiful. You'll get to hear about her journey setting healthy boundaries with her family, and speaking her truth. What's so special about Julia is that she is now a healer herself. Since 2015, Julia has been helping women and couples resolve their past traumas and relationship challenges, breaking through their barriers to love and achieve lasting success in their partnerships. Julia also teaches effective communication skills to resolve conflict, and how to show up in vulnerability to create deep intimacy and trust in relationships of all kinds. This includes professional relationships, and Julia helps her clients succeed in business by overcoming their fears of intimacy by teaching them how to be epic communicators.

More about Julia: https://www.juliaphoenixeleven.com/

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

New Episode TODAY!!
This episode is totally different from what we have done in the past. I interviewed Joanne who has spent her entire life (now in her 80's) being a believer!

Joanne spent her entire life studying psychology and helping so many people that have been traumatized and she made a difference in so many people's lives and you get to hear it.
In this episode, you will hear what that was like to be such a renegade way before her time as she helped so many child survivors of sexual abuse in the '60s! Did you hear me? IN THE '60s!
Joanne spent her entire life helping other survivors. She has opened homes for teen moms, was a nun throughout the '60s (left the convent in 1971), counseled women in New Guinea and helped the first women in their entire country graduate from college, ended up working at Waverly (now Trillium) and developed a program called Superkids (for boys that were abused) in a time where not a soul was talking about sexual abuse at all. She then realized that many children aren't going to go to a place to talk so she figured out a way to work within a school, where the children are at, and developed the Chrysalis program and worked within Portland Public School System for high school girls!
This program lives on although Joanne retired in 1999. (https://trilliumfamily.org/programs-and-services/prevention/chrysalis-support-group/)

Joanne is a badass, relentless, peaceful, and an inspiration to us all. If I can someday give a quarter of what Joanne has given, touch even a sliver of the people's lives she has touched, I will be happy. She is a reminder to us to do the right thing.

Joanne's Non-profit: https://rosehaven.org/
Crystal’s Non-Profit: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Production by Neeraj Srinivasan: https://www.instagram.com/mynipsdontlie/?hl=en

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

Warning:
This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

Liz shares her traumatic childhood experiences that led her down the path of a severe eating disorder. She unravels how it happened, what led her to it, and how she is one of the lucky ones that had support and guidance. She explains in great detail how an eating disorder is a lifelong journey, something that needs to be managed every day. She shares another diagnosis that she received as an adult. This story illuminates why it is so important to put an end to toxic masculinity in our society, and how it negatively impacts people at a very young age. This is one women's story on how it has affected her. Liz is kind, nurturing, intelligent, and absolutely brave. Throughout her life, she has been hyper-aware of her privilege and does everything she can to help others be better. She has created much light around her struggles and it's admirable.

Note: Crystal's intro was recorded last week. Please know that the Feds have left the protest in PDX for the most part however the struggle with the Portland Police is still there.

Warning: This is a podcast about trauma, so each episode could contain content that activates any triggers you might have. We will do our best to list them below:

I loved this image from (IG)as it’s so easy to dismiss in our moments of heighten anxiety. It’s also easy to miss when others are experiencing it especially when you are in a heated discussion. Taking the time to pause and becoming aware of our bodies so we can take the time we need to become more helpful in any situation is so useful. It’s hard to do. I fail at it often. Just be kind to yourself and those around you. Leading with compassion and love can make a difference to everyone around you.

Found this fitting from NAACP. This was Damon’s non-profit choice and after I attempted to promote his post from yesterday via Instagram and Facebook and got rejected for the first time, this post is relevant!

Our social media platforms picks and chooses what content can be promoted. Trump used in his first election and paid high dollars for advertising. Meanwhile, my tiny $20.00 promotion which was a quote from one of my guests stating he saw police brutality at the age of 7 was rejected. I am not spreading misinformation. I am spreading someone’s trauma in order to keep the world connect so we feel less alone.

This is a biased way of doing business. In honor of this happening, please consider a donation to the ! Also, please listen to Damon’s story! Link in Bio!

New Episode OUT TODAY! WE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE!

Damon Kwante shares his experience as a 69-year-old black man. What it was like to have learning differences as a child with minimal resources, and what it was like to be black growing up. He explains what he has overcome after being bullied by children and a systemically racist society. What it was like witnessing police brutality at a very young age. He continues to not feel safe because of how the world views him. He has been arrested for "walking while black," and describes the first time he had a gun drawn on him and the last time (we hope).

This is just one person’s story. A person of color. ONE story. Please consider taking action and donating to one of the non-profits listed below. If you aren't sure how to take action, please email me at [email protected], and I will do what I can to help.

Damon's Non-Profit Choice: https://www.naacp.org/

Crystal's Non-Profit Choice: https://rahabs-sisters.org/

Production by Neeraj Srinivasan: https://www.instagram.com/mynipsdontlie/?hl=en

Music by Chris Parkman: https://www.instagram.com/_chrisparkman_/?hl=en

I loved this image from on IG!
I always have a hard time reminding myself in moments of tears that’s it’s okay to cry. So here is your reminder today! Get it out! All of it! Allow yourself space to feel it! You are worth every single tear!

Turns out I am reading the same book as Brené Brown right now. If you have never read “All about Love” by Bell Hooks, drop everything and read it.
Taken directly from the book:
“the wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sa**sm, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings. The wounded child inside many females is a girl who was taught from early childhood that she must become something other than herself, deny her true feelings, in order to attract and please others. When men and women punish each other for truth telling, we reinforce the notion that lies are better. To be loving we willingly hear the other’s truth, and most important, we affirm the value of truth telling. Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love.” -Bell Hooks

Copied from (IG)

it’s been 100+ days since the murder of Breonna Taylor by the hands of Myles Cosgrove, Jonathan Mattingly, and Brett Hankinson. they are still walking free. WE MUST SEE JUSTICE FOR HER.
here’s a couple action steps:
1. Contact mayor greg Fischer to fire Breonnas murderers and to defund the Louisville Police Department: 502 574 2003 [email protected]
2. Donate directly to Breonnas family fund and to the Louisville community bail fund to free jailed protesters.
we can’t let up. we must fight to see justice for BLACK LIVES MATTER. BLACK WOMEN MATTER.
click the link in bio for direct links to petitions, fundraisers, action steps for Breonna Taylor.

What great content from .mindful.you (IG) and a quote from Ibram X. Kendi! mindful.you said “It is NOT a Black person's responsibility to keep racist police officers from getting nervous. ⁠
It is NOT a woman's responsibility to calm their suppressor's sexual desires.⁠ If you ever feel fear because of prejudices or because the feeling is triggered by something so deeply ingrained, start by noticing it. This is the first step. Then separate your assumption from reality. Fear will slowly fade.⁠”

This image from Latibule Counseling, PLLC spoke to me. I think about this daily during these times of revolution. I am believer of intergenerational trauma.

With their post they said, “Each generation learns from the previous one, with survivors telling children, ‘Don’t trust others, don’t trust the world.' ⁣
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We are learning more about the intergenerational trauma effects by seeing the effects of the Holocaust, the Khmer Rouge killings in Cambodia, the Rwandan genocide, the displacement of natives, and the enslavement of blacks. ⁣
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The transgenerational effects are not only psychological but familial, social, cultural, neurobiological, and even genetic according to the researcher. ⁣
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While trauma researchers have made great strides in understanding and treating present-life trauma, they are just beginning to explore the impact of intergenerational trauma and its expression.”