The Mindful MD Mom

Mama, you are feeding your baby and that is AWESOME.

It’s World Breastfeeding Week
🤱🏻🤱🏼🤱🏽🤱🏾👩🏿‍🍼 and love this comic by which describes the conflicting messages around breastfeeding that mamas all too often receive.

For the mamas who are breastfeeding, pumping, supplementing with formula, or a combo of these, you are doing a good job.

Many people do not see the struggles behind the scenes and often say inconsiderate things. Don’t take it to your heart, Mama. You are doing the best you can and that is wonderful.

🌻 what is the best (or worst) comment someone had told you re: feeding your baby?

🌻 Tag an amazing mama friend!

Parenting is the MOST important job in the world because it has generational impact.

YOU are the queen or king of your castle—and you have the power to heal the past or perpetuate issues into the future.

It’s ok to hold on to the wisdom of the past while also parenting differently. It’s a learning experience. And each kid often needs something different.

As a mindful Pediatrician and parent, this topic is one of my faves!

Mindful parenting and intentional living is a life changing journey and I recommend it for everyone.

It takes pressure off, lets you enjoy the life journey, and gives you space for personal growth too! 🙌🏼

Love this pic by

🌻What’s your favorite hobby?

Parenting is the MOST important job in the world because it has generational impact.

YOU are the queen or king of your castle—and you have the power to heal the past or perpetuate issues into the future.

It’s ok to hold on to the wisdom of the past while also parenting differently. It’s a learning experience. And each kid often needs something different.

As a mindful Pediatrician and parent, this topic is one of my faves!

Mindful parenting and intentional living is a life changing journey and I recommend it for everyone.

It takes pressure off, lets you enjoy the life journey, and gives you space for personal growth too! 🙌🏼

🌻What’s your favorite hobby?

Have you ever asked yourself: why is it stressful for adults when kids cry? 🧐

It’s a question worth exploring.

Crying—like laughing, being angry, sad, joyful and every emotion in between— is a normal expression.

Kids cry when they miss you, when they need comfort, frustrated, when things are unfair, when they’re hangry, sleepy, etc. Kids cry for the same reasons as anyone else.

So what do adults have that kids don’t?

Toxic shame.

In other words, kids naturally express their emotions because they have not been taught yet that feelings are “bad”.

Whoa.

Why should there be shame in expressing emotions? When did we learn that it was not ok to express feelings? That if express feelings, we are bad?! 😭😫😤😩

Over the course of their life, kids are taught to stay quiet, don’t be loud, don’t talk too much, don’t laugh too loud, don’t feel too much.
Stay small and quiet 🤫

Shame is taught, inherited, and is baggage that is not yours.

Neither you nor your child are “too much”, “too sensitive”, etc.

If your kids feel safe crying in front of you, you have shown you are a safe space for them.
Good job!
Many adults would not feel comfortable to cry in front of their family members or friends.

Stay tuned for the next post, which will share mindfulness strategies to regulate yourself so you do not pass on toxic shame to the next generation.

Pic repost by .conscious.healing.mama

👉🏼 Does expressing or witnessing others’ emotions make you uncomfortable? When was the last time you let anyone see you cry?

We cannot thrive in survivor mode because survival mode directly conflicts with wellbeing (!)

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 🎤

🌻 How do you re-energize yourself to get out of survivor/survival mode?

What are you seeking? In other words, what do you really want out of your life experiences of work, play, parenting, wellness?

When we set our goals, we must take care to align our thoughts and behaviors to reach those goals.

If we want a life of peace, self care, contentment, we must practice those thoughts and behaviors daily.

How?

Through our habits and daily lifestyle.

Critically examine the things you think, do, say, and believe to determine the gaps between what you want and what you are doing.

✅ Make small changes.
✅ Start a gratitude practice.
✅ Consciously shift to a smiling resting face.
✅ Set alarms to remind yourself to eat a nourishing snack or hydrate with water.
✅ Sleep an hour earlier.
✅ Notice the ways people really are trying to do good.
✅ Appreciate others and yourself

And so on.

🌿 Each moment and day builds on each other AND you can start making changes at any time.

🔅 What small changes have you made that have made a big difference over time?

🌻 Share your insights!

When you’re working on the weekend after working a busy week, how to fit in wellness?

Here are some of my Lifestyle Medicine and doctor mom tips:

1. Sleep on time the night before your shift. As tempting as it is to stay up later and revenge bedtime procrastination, don’t!

Get your sleep. Waking up (somewhat) refreshed is a gift you can give to yourself. As a parent, getting fully refreshed sleep may/may not be fully possible with littles! But we make it worse if we stay up late. Wake up early instead for your quiet moments.

2. Eat a protein rich breakfast, not in quantity but quality.

Some ideas: handful of walnuts, egg taco, fresh fruit with granola or greek yogurt, etc. Be sure to eat snack during the day.

3. Raise your energy level by listening to something that inspires you while you get ready and/or on the way to work.

An uplifting song, a prayer, repeating positive affirmations, a thoughtful podcast, etc.

4. Keep perspective. This shift is time limited. Find the bright moments during the shift. This work is NOT easy.

System changes are needed and we play a role in that.

If we are depleted in mind, body, spirit, we do not have energy to think outside of survival mode.

☀️ What are your weekend wellness tips?

Share them below! 👇🏼

Physicians are not providers. These terms are not interchangeable.

The word physician reflects rigorous training:
4 years undergrad
4 years medical school
3-4 years residency
1-3 years fellowship
and at least 5-6 medical certification exams (MCAT/Comlex; USMLE 1,2,3;
one or more specialty board exams)

The word provider or practitioner is very broad, from MA, nurse, NP, PA, etc. Their training is anywhere from 2 years in undergraduate up to graduate school or more.

Fact: Each team member is important and has distinct skill sets. Each adds a unique element to patient care. But these roles are not interchangeable.

Navigating the US healthcare system is confusing enough. Lumping physicians in group of providers adds more confusion.

Clarity is important.

In times of crisis—basically every day in the clinic or hospital, especially in a global pandemic—people need to know who is doing what. Lives are literally at stake!

Are we physicians too burned out and busy to notice the insiduous devaluation and relabeling that is pushing physicians out of our lane?

What is the purpose of calling physicians providers? Is the goal to create clarity for people or more confusion?

Interested to hear your thoughts.

It’s 2022. Are we starting fresh or carrying forward previous issues? In year 3 of a global pandemic, life is still quite stressful.

However there are many decisions and choices we can make that can add or release stress.

How can we let go of what disturbs our peace? Many ways.

Maybe it’s letting go of morning rush by prepping at night. For example, packing kids’ lunches at night so you don’t scramble in the mornings.

Maybe its letting go of wasting precious time scrolling on phone. Start tracking your habits to see where your time really goes.

Maybe it’s letting go of revenge bedtime procrastination (look it up. It’s real for parents!). Instead, set normal bedtime and get your “me time” in the morning before work.

Maybe it’s letting go of need for control and the negativity that comes from feeling disempowered. Instead, start a spiritual practice, pray, daily/weekly gratitude journalling.

Maybe it’s letting go of inertia and going for a walk each day.

The point is that holding on to unhealthy habits and behaviors can cause us more stress than we need in our lives.

If it disturbs your peace and wellbeing, channel your inner Queen Elsa and LET IT GO.

What are you letting go of in 2022?

It’s 2022. Are we starting fresh or carrying forward previous issues? In year 3 of a global pandemic, life is still quite stressful.

However there are many decisions and choices we can make that can add or release stress.

How can we let go of what disturbs our peace? Many ways.

Maybe it’s letting go of morning rush by prepping at night. For example, packing kids’ lunches at night so you don’t scramble in the mornings.

Maybe its letting go of wasting precious time scrolling on phone. Start tracking your habits to see where your time really goes.

Maybe it’s letting go of revenge bedtime procrastination (look it up. It’s real for parents!). Instead, set normal bedtime and get your “me time” in the morning before work.

Maybe it’s letting go of need for control and the negativity that comes from feeling disempowered. Instead, startint a spiritual practice, pray, daily/weekly gratitude journalling.

Maybe it’s letting go of inertia and going for a walk each day.

The point is that holding on to unhealthy habits and behaviors can cause us more stress than we need in our lives.

If it disturbs your peace and wellbeing, channel your inner Queen Elsa and LET IT GO.

What are you letting go of in 2022?

‘Tis the season…for viral illness! 😷
Fortunately there are many ways to boost immune system and stay healthy.

Thanks for including some of my tips

Do know when you are approaching your limits and how to set appropriate boundaries? If no, why/how you expect your kids to do be able to do it?

We must recognize the gap in what we are asking our kids to be able to do at a young vs what we do (or don’t do) as adults.

How many of us regularly do the things on this list? *crickets*

Parents, we gotta practice what we preach.

Fortunately, we can learn alongside our kids and practice the skills of connecting our needs with language that helps convey it to others. It’s not too late!

Do you use these phrases in your own life? Or do struggle with it? Share your experiences!

Love this pic by !

Feeling out of sorts? Try grounding exercises to help bring yourself back into the moment and calm down. Love this pic by .

What are your fav grounding tips?

Go get it, girl!

💉

The unintentional effects of autopilot parenting often manifest as the anxieties and insecurities that we carry into adulthood: imposter syndrome, not being enough, “bad at x,y, z”, various labels, etc.

Interestingly, we often unknowingly continue those unspoken childhood lessons onto our kids.

To break the pattern of generational issues, we must practice being mindful of the lessons we teach our kids during daily life.

But how to fix annoying behaviors w/o breaking our kids’ spirits? Focus on the behaviors and stop it at the source.

🌟 Cursing:
- If your preschool or school age child is cursing, do NOT punish him. Instead, open the doors of conversation of where he or she heard those words. Then, treat the source. Often curse words are absorbed from tv, music lyrics, older sibs, and parents. Until the sources are addressed, the kid will absolutely echo those words.

🌟 Aggression.
- if the bulk of tv, movies, cartoons, video games are violent, your kid WILL be aggressive. Play is practice for what they see in their environment.
OR
- lack of physical activity. If child is not getting opportunities to run, play, jump for 1-3 hours/day, that pent up energy will show up as aggression.

🌟Kids listen and learn the most when parents are not talking to them. Yep, they absorb A LOT and then echo it back to us.

🌟 thoughts?

Speak your truth. You have a voice so use your power for good.

🔅In a world where inauthenticity and deception are promoted, dare to be different. Dare to be YOU.

🔅 Challenge yourself daily to speak YOUR voice—not your neighbor, fav social media person, family member, tv character. Real, authentic people are what the world needs right now.

🔅What’s your affirmation this week?

Language matters. Try these alternatives and see what a difference it makes!

Reposting this awesome graphic by

Social Emotional Learning.

Our faces, voices, body languages give and receive cues to the people around us. Now that we are living in pandemic virtual reality where we all spend up more time on zoom meetings than in person, we must be even more mindful of our body language. Our stresses, joys, and everything in between both show up on our faces.

For kids to recognize social cues and respond appropriately, they need face time—real faces, not just phone facetime.

What we don’t use, we lose—this includes kids’ ability to recognize and respond to facial cues.

Without adequate exposure and interaction to engaged faces, kids lose these skills and can start to show signs of autism, characterized by difficulty in social skills (interaction, communication) and by restricted thoughts and behaviors.
This can develop over time which is why pediatricians screen at various ages.

Things that put kids at higher risk to lose communication and social skills:
- excessive screen time and not enough time talking or interacting with humans
- not enough time watching and learning from other people
- too much alone time/ not given enough opportunities to play or interact with others
- being around distracted caregivers/ lack of meaningful interaction.

A major concern among pediatricians is that there will be a rise in autism/austism spectrum symptoms during and after the pandemic.

Take home messages:
1. If you have babies and young kids, talk to them. Narrate your day.
2. Read to your child for 10-15min each day and hold them in your arms.
3. Be mindful of your facial expressions, relax your facial muscles, smile even if no one is around

Our goal as parents is to help our kids lear how to socialize and understand cues. The goal is not the quiet child who “self soothes”.

What social emotional challenges are you noting? What would you like to learn more about?

You’re doing too much, mama. Depersonalization, dissociation, demoralization are a part of burnout syndrome, a state of psychological and physiological stress and overwhelm. If you start recognizing these signs, recognize them as burnout, a sign that you are doing too much.
🌸 maybe you need to adjust expectations
🌺 maybe it’s time to prioritize sleep instead of staying up late
🌸 maybe set boundaries on work or life responsibilities

Burnout varies and everyone’s limit is different.

These are stressful times and you cannot become another statistic. You are much too important.

Reach out, connect, and replenish. You and your family are worth it.

Any of these sound familiar in your life right now?

👏🏼

November 7, 2020.

Let’s all take a collective breath together:
Exhale stress
Inhale relief.

Sometimes it takes the worst of times to realize how necessary change is and that our choices absolutely make a difference.

Covid helped us realize how much we needed a relaxation room. So, after much needed decluttering and rearranging, made a space.

Tips to create a relaxing wellness space:
- plants
- neutral or warm colors
- books to stimulate mental and spiritual growth
- candles
- give yourself and family 5-10 mins daily quiet time for meditation, prayer, reflection.

The only rule for the Relaxation Room:
⭐️ Space must be left as it was entered— a no-clutter zone.

Relaxation Room before & after. Which one you like? Do you have a space in your home to relax?

Ah, the mom lives we all fall for at some during our parenting journey 🤦🏻‍♀️

Love this graphic by of the common Mom lies that cause us unnecessary suffering.

Mama friends, you are doing AMAZING just by being a mom to your kids, by being present, and by being YOU!

Please remember that you are the kind of mom your kid needs. You know them better than anyone. So please don’t let social media/friends/parent/in laws/ society tell you otherwise.

❤️

Here are some of our favorite ways to use mindfulness to reduce stress.

How do you de-stress? Share your tips!

Is our goal be (and raise) humans or robots?

What it means to be a modern human:
- healthy habits
- how to set limits for yourself
- how to control your temper
- how to clean up after yourself
- chores as a normal part of life and not a punishment
- calming oneself down when stressed
- being kind to self (ie. inner voice/inner critic)
- being kind to others (ie. helping, smiling, interacting in a kind way, etc)
- showing respect (regardless of age, gender, ethnicity)
- not being superficial (focusing on inner beauty)
- using your choice (whether it be picking meals, clothes, one’s own style, etc)
- giving meaningful compliments (beyond physical appearance)
- prioritizing sleep over wasting time
- giving permission to laugh, relax, have fun, etc.

If we’re not practicing these human habits in our own lives, how will kids learn there is more to life than work?

What human habits are you working on this week?

”So listen, dear heart...yours is the beat that sustains life”...

❤️💗💜💛🧡💚💙

Women are cornerstones of the community, we’re more than our pretty faces and our bodies are not here to be on display for someone else’s approval. THIS is how body shaming and insecurity starts. When women are treated and promoted as objects.

Your sensuality is yours to share with whom you CHOOSE, it is not on display for the masses.

Dressing up shouldn’t mean taking more off and worrying about how you look.

Instead, dress with elegance, comfort, style, respect so that you don’t feel the need to change as soon as you get home into the “real” you.

Be the real you wherever you are.

What are our girls and boys learning about bodies, self respect, beauty from the way we treat and talk about ourselves?

Thoughts?

Women are cornerstones of the community, we’re more than our pretty faces and our bodies are not here to be on display for someone else’s approval. THIS is how body shaming and insecurity starts. When women are treated and promoted as objects.

Your sensuality is yours to share with whom you CHOOSE, it is not on display for the masses.

Dress for comfort, style, respect. Be classy and elegant.

Dressing up shouldn’t mean taking more off.

What are our girls and boys learning about bodies, self respect, beauty from the way we treat and talk about ourselves?

Thoughts?

This 🙌🏼

In parenting, especially, we are to pick our battles or show our kids who’s the parent—but wait a minute, why are we making it us vs them?

Why are making our child’s emotional dysregulation about us? When we take it personally we feel the need to control, correct, and criticize. But it’s not about us at all!

When we stop taking things personally, we can take a step back and help the others who are struggling. We can be their calm center.

Thoughts?

It takes 3-5 positive thoughts to neutralize a negative one. It’s not that we are hardwired for negativity—that shows us just how harmful negative thoughts are!

Positive thinking is different than toxic positivity, that ignores that bad sh*t happens.
Feel your feelings.
Breathe through the discomfort.
Reflect why you feel triggered/angry/upset.

Then, remind yourself that no matter what happens, you can figure it out and you have all the support you need.

Dwelling on negativity, letting harsh inner critic insult or belittle you is not helpful. Id makes you feel disempowered. It makes you feel terrible and take it out on someone else. Toxic negativity infects others.

Your thoughts and actions matter. Treat yourself with respect ❤️💐

Hey Mama, you do a lot. Maybe too much. Give yourself permission to do less. Yep, I said it!

As a Pediatrician and parent, I can’t say this enough: do less!

I know this goes against the current narrative of toxic productivity. However, it is VERY important.

Our kids need to see their parents relaxing, having fun, smiling, enjoying being an adult.

Otherwise, they will grow up thinking that adulthood means work, stress, unhappiness.

But that is only one lens. Adulthood also gives us the power of CHOICE.

So, use that choice to prioritize what is important: a balanced life that gives equal priority to rest and happiness.

Look for the silver linings.
Slow down.
Minimize the to-do list.
Schedule in relaxation time.
Tell jokes.
Don’t waste your time on tv, Netflix, scrolling mindlessly on social media, multitasking.
Make small traditions (ie. spending 5 minutes outside before work starts)
Etc

Does this resonate with you? How do you show your kids that adulthood doesn’t totally suck? How do you use your power?

Ever notice how much higher standards are for kids than adults? 🧐

Truth: if we can’t do it as adults, let’s not expect our kids to it. Otherwise it just stresses everyone for no reason. Life is stressful enough, right?

Fortunately, parents and kids CAN learn it together!

Examples:
- Chores
- Listening
- Showing respect
- Not yelling
- Taking turns when talking
- Saying sorry when someone messes up
- Practicing calming exercises
- healthy eating
- relaxing bedtime routine
- having fun together
- Extending grace to each other
- body positivity
- etc

What are you learning alongside your kids?

Why do we criticize others? Is it really “for their own good”? Or is it because we want to feel better about ourselves?

Smartness comes in many ways. Putting others down (including one’s own kids) does not make parents superior.

It does, however, plant the seeds for a lifetime of self esteem issues, bullying, eating disorders, mental health issues, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and so much more.

If we really want to help others, let us lift others by highlighting their strengths and working with them (instead of shaming) to improve the weak areas.

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. There is a difference between constructive help and criticism. So important for us all to learn the difference.

How has criticism impacted your life? Whether on the receiving end of criticism as a child or noticing yourself repeating patterns as a parent now?

To break the cycle, we gotta recognize the patterns that play out in our lives.

We are taught a lot of things in childhood that are reinforced in adulthood.
However, we are rarely taught how to sit with discomfort. That’s why when people have a bad day at work, they come home and yell at their spouse or kids. A few times is not a big deal, but a pattern of this reactive style is a problem.

If we are to break the cycle of toxic masculinity, imposter syndrome, gender based aggressions, we must teach our kids that emotions are a part of being human*.

It is ok to feel bad, sad, mad, tired, etc.

Having feelings does not make you weak. They may make you feel vulnerable but that is a GOOD thing. It means it is an area that needs your attention so that healing can happen.

Parents, no matter how tired/annoyed/stressed you are, give yourself permission to sit with your feelings. Show your kids that being human is ok.
You are ok.

Note: being human does not mean emotional or physical abuse, neglect, tough love, making the home a war zone. That is toxicity, not humanity.